Warrior Sub??? Come share your opinion!

[UhOhItsMerci]

I found this on FetLife and I was wondering whats the overall opinion on this? I'm interested in your thoughts

The Warrior Submissive

As you read this, please keep a few things in mind. I wrote this while trying to sort it out myself. It is not meant to insult submissives, Dominants, or anyone in the BDSM community. It is more an attempt to describe a certain "submissive type" that I feel may actually exist and that I identify with. I do not speak for all who may be this "type". I don't even know if this is even a "type". It may wander and be a bit unclear, and for that I apologize. To be honest, it frightens me to post this because of the reaction I might get. However, I've been encouraged to post it here and I am curious to see if people think I have a point or may be way off base. So... big gulp ... here is my take on "The Warrior Submissive".

**********

You got my head going last night on that submissive/dominant thing. I'm thinking there may be a sub-species to the "normal" submissive out there. I'm not sure what to call them... perhaps the "warrior submissive".

I read something once that made fun of what some of the submissives said in their profiles. In it was the submissive that said "you have to prove yourself worthy of my submission". They accused that type of person of not being submissive at all and wanting to top from the bottom.

At the time, I chuckled and moved on, but I secretly identified with that type of submissive and I can see how we came to be. Years of heartbreak tend to make you not trust anyone. When that happens, no matter how submissive you are, there is a part that refuses to give over full control ever again. So you make the Dominant "prove" they are worthy of you... over and over and over... no matter how long you are together. Eventually you accept your Master as human and realize he will let you down now and again, but you also know that you do the same to him. That's all part of relationships. The reward, however, for proving yourself worthy is greater, I think, than most submissives would give. Warrior submissives are crazy protective. If they find themselves in a situation where you cannot defend yourself, they will do so fiercely. If you are wounded, sick, or need serious care, they will be there nursing you, pushing you not to baby yourself or over-do. They will threaten, cajole, black mail you into taking care of yourself. They are fiercely loyal, loving, and competent. They don't need you to tell them what to do. If you leave them to run a house by themselves, they will do so easily. They may not be happy sitting on the floor unless in a situation where it's called for. They are rather like having a panther on a leash.

I'd have to say that warrior submissives are a lot of work. They are sort of the divas of the submissive world. Most Dominants are terrified of them because they can bring to light any weakness they see and a Dominant never wants to think they might be weak. Submissives don't see them as submissive because they aren't the "good little girls" submissives are supposed to be. They can be kind of bratty and they definitely want all of their Dominant's attention because... deep inside... they feel they are not worthy despite having the strongest, most sensitive and loyal hearts.

The warrior submissive also loves the "battle" because it leads to being tied down. They have a need to feel forced to do the things they want to do. She wants her heart to pound and her blood to flow hot. The reward for all the effort you put into "proving" yourself over and over again is someone who does the very best she can to be certain your needs and even your smallest desires are met. She will make you the center of her life... within reason. If you can "own" her, she will do everything she can bring herself to do ... and sometimes things she never thought she could do ... to make you happy.

It takes a special type of Dominant to handle a warrior submissive. He has to be certain of himself as he will often be proving he is the Dominant she needs. He has to be imaginative, strong within himself, and not want the "yes, Sir, whatever you say, Sir" type of submissive. He has to be patient and enjoy the occasional battle of words or will.

I don't know how well I've described this. A "normal" submissive would probably tear this description apart trying to prove that this isn't a submissive at all... and then spout off about how she won't submit to "just anyone" herself, but she's a thousand times better than this non-submissive. And the warrior submissive would probably agree with her. We spend our time questioning our submissiveness because we seriously WON'T submit to "just anyone"... if we choose to submit at all. We don't know if maybe we're "weekend players", "bottoms", or "switches", but we do know that there doesn't seem to be a place for us and that most people don't understand us. And we can't blame them... often we don't understand ourselves.

– Heretical

Heres the link to the original https://fetlife.com/users/1343775/posts/1059303

 

[Stella_Omega]

I sure do wish people would stop writing their personal essays in global terms.

I mean I was kind of enjoying the thing, until I got to:

They can be kind of bratty and they definitely want all of their Dominant's attention because... deep inside... they feel they are not worthy despite having the strongest, most sensitive and loyal hearts.

Whoops! there went my willing suspension of disbelief.

 

[UhOhItsMerci]

lmao!! That part amused me, I don't understand the notion why some people believe subs should feel unworthy or worthless?

 

[Stella_Omega]

lmao!! That part amused me, I don't understand the notion why some people believe subs should feel unworthy or worthless?

Same old same old, huh?

 

[UhOhItsMerci]

Same old same old, huh?

Same shit different day. Its quite annoying how much people focus on the labels and stereotypes. And then how they fight with others, because of the differing in opinions.

Why can't we all just fuck around and be happy?

 

[CutieMouse]

My assessment in tl;dr terms:

People are complicated, mufti-dimensional creatures.

People like to feel like they're special, and will sometimes [often] express themselves in passive aggressive terms, just to make sure everyone knows exactly how special they are.

It takes a lot of energy [and words] to defend one's specialness.

If enough energy [and words] are used to explain the points above, the likelihood of having lots of people cyber-high five the author increases exponentially.

 

[UhOhItsMerci]

My assessment in tl;dr terms:

People are complicated, mufti-dimensional creatures.

People like to feel like they're special, and will sometimes [often] express themselves in passive aggressive terms, just to make sure everyone knows exactly how special they are.

It takes a lot of energy [and words] to defend one's specialness.

If enough energy [and words] are used to explain the points above, the likelihood of having lots of people cyber-high five the author increases exponentially.

People need cyber high-fives to feel special today saddening

 

[Stella_Omega]

BDSM is not a Hallmark card, you know. The community is made up of a lot of people with wildly varying needs and twists that render them unable or unwilling to enjoy vanilla sex, (some of them) or egalitarian relationships (some of them) -- for about two hundred umpty different reasons. The truth is-- we can't all get along. Not in close quarters.

True words from your uncle Stella.

 

[eastern sun]

My assessment in tl;dr terms:

People are complicated, mufti-dimensional creatures.

People like to feel like they're special, and will sometimes [often] express themselves in passive aggressive terms, just to make sure everyone knows exactly how special they are.

It takes a lot of energy [and words] to defend one's specialness.

If enough energy [and words] are used to explain the points above, the likelihood of having lots of people cyber-high five the author increases exponentially.

CutieMouse, all I know is that I now want to identify as mufti-dimensional.

It speaks to me. Thank you.

 

[Scentofawoman]

Well my assumption by the title that this was about male submissives. Im not surprised it is a broad generalization on a female POV of submission.

 

[Netzach]

Isn't that just called selective???

 

[Stella_Omega]

Isn't that just called selective???

Selecting isn't submissive. Especially not for young women. Just ask about half the men who call themselves Dom.

 

[Netzach]

Selecting isn't submissive. Especially not for young women. Just ask about half the men who call themselves Dom.

LOL I'm speaking from the surface of Earth, where people actually date instead of just fetlife blogging about it.

 

[graceanne]

LOL I'm speaking from the surface of Earth, where people actually date instead of just fetlife blogging about it.

No, they don't. That's an old wives tale.

 

[YourCaptor]

Warrior sub, to me brings to mind a sub, probably male, who is a vet to the battle field and has killed a few and seen a few killed.

Most likely probably one of those death daring, maso adrenaline junkies who would shoot himself in the ass for fun if someone didn’t give him something productive to do. Definitely a handful, especially considering he would be far more powerful than any domme that would be crazy enough to get involved with that. I would assume stunguns come in handy.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Warrior sub, to me brings to mind a sub, probably male, who is a vet to the battle field and has killed a few and seen a few killed.

Most likely probably one of those death daring, maso adrenaline junkies who would shoot himself in the ass for fun if someone didn’t give him something productive to do. Definitely a handful, especially considering he would be far more powerful than any domme that would be crazy enough to get involved with that. I would assume stunguns come in handy.

Mmm... Plot bunny of the most delicious wish-fulfillment kind. *runs off to research stunguns*

 

[UhOhItsMerci]

lmao! you guys are cracking me up maybe i should post the response that journal entry elicited.

 

[Stella_Omega]

lmao! you guys are cracking me up maybe i should post the response that journal entry elicited.

No... the poor girl is trying to work her shit out. We are just amusing ourselves. Besides, seems like she got some flak from her own community.

 

[kiwi_submissive]

I should be serious. I really should buuuttt when I first read the heading, all I could think of was The Ultimate Warrior from wrestling. I can see a sub running along, all done up in the face paint, with his music playing and having a wrestling match with The Machosub or Hulk Sub.

Yes I do have issues.

On a more serious note. When do we stop trying to microlabel people? It is starting to become ridiculous, surely a sort of blanket label that we personally feel we can fit into is sufficient without having to go into "sub subclasses" of pyl or PYL or is it getting to the point where we feel we almost have to justify ourselves by putting further labels on ourselves, either as a descripter so others know exactly who or what we are or to make us feel more unique or to fill a part of us that we think is missing.

 

[BiBunny]

I should be serious. I really should buuuttt when I first read the heading, all I could think of was The Ultimate Warrior from wrestling. I can see a sub running along, all done up in the face paint, with his music playing and having a wrestling match with The Machosub or Hulk Sub.

LOL. This is an amazing mental image.

Yes I do have issues.

On a more serious note. When do we stop trying to microlabel people? It is starting to become ridiculous, surely a sort of blanket label that we personally feel we can fit into is sufficient without having to go into "sub subclasses" of pyl or PYL or is it getting to the point where we feel we almost have to justify ourselves by putting further labels on ourselves, either as a descripter so others know exactly who or what we are or to make us feel more unique or to fill a part of us that we think is missing.

Well, like you said, it's because they want to make themselves sound/feel more unique. People want to feel like they're weally speshul snowflakes. They create categories for themselves because it's means they're SO speshul that they had to have a label created just for them.

We're all guilty of it at some point, I know. But I think way too many people engage in too much navel-gazing and not enough fucking.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I should be serious. I really should buuuttt when I first read the heading, all I could think of was The Ultimate Warrior from wrestling. I can see a sub running along, all done up in the face paint, with his music playing and having a wrestling match with The Machosub or Hulk Sub.

Yes I do have issues.

On a more serious note. When do we stop trying to microlabel people? It is starting to become ridiculous, surely a sort of blanket label that we personally feel we can fit into is sufficient without having to go into "sub subclasses" of pyl or PYL or is it getting to the point where we feel we almost have to justify ourselves by putting further labels on ourselves, either as a descripter so others know exactly who or what we are or to make us feel more unique or to fill a part of us that we think is missing.

It will never, ever stop, sorry.

Humans are the naming animal. And also, the self-justifying animal. The desire for affirmation is what drags us to these forums, after all.

 

[desertslave]

I should be serious. I really should buuuttt when I first read the heading, all I could think of was The Ultimate Warrior from wrestling. I can see a sub running along, all done up in the face paint, with his music playing and having a wrestling match with The Machosub or Hulk Sub.

S'okay. LOL I was considering lunch when I first saw this thread, and wondered what Subway had conjured up now.

Then I realized I had no clue what "tl;dr" meant and backed away quietly. I'm still not sure what it means.

Stella's right, though. It seems to be a human peculiarity to crave our own labels and to need to validate (or not) others. More so in our category, but I've seen the struggle within my artsy groups. What we do isn't considered "fine arts" so the debate run along the artist/craftsman lines. It gets pretty testy at times, too. I wish I could draw so I could settle it for myself. LOL

 

[KoPilot]

Okay, but what zodiac sign does this correspond to? I wanna knoooooowwww

 

[BiBunny]

Okay, but what zodiac sign does this correspond to? I wanna knoooooowwww

Leo. Duh.

 

[Stella_Omega]

S'okay. LOL I was considering lunch when I first saw this thread, and wondered what Subway had conjured up now.

Then I realized I had no clue what "tl;dr" meant and backed away quietly. I'm still not sure what it means.

Stella's right, though. It seems to be a human peculiarity to crave our own labels and to need to validate (or not) others. More so in our category, but I've seen the struggle within my artsy groups. What we do isn't considered "fine arts" so the debate run along the artist/craftsman lines. It gets pretty testy at times, too. I wish I could draw so I could settle it for myself. LOL

first, tl;dr means "to long; didn't read" and is sometimes pronounced as "teal deer" as in "What a fucking herd of teal deer have been birthed in that flamefest!"

And Ive been part of that damn arts/crafts discussion plenty times, and you need the hide of a rhino in all of these, don't you!

And thirdly-- Warrior Sub sandwich FTW