Disagree with any of the Ten Commandments?

[pierrelarue161]

If so, which ones? In my case, it would be the whole "no adultery" thing. The others generally make sense to me.

 

[Nerdy_Harold]

If so, which ones? In my case, it would be the whole "no adultery" thing. The others generally make sense to me.

Thou shall not kill.................because I really don't like you.

 

[pierrelarue161]

Thou shall not kill.................because I really don't like you.

Nothing personal about that, I'm sure.

 

[bronzeage]

If so, which ones? In my case, it would be the whole "no adultery" thing. The others generally make sense to me.

How does one commit adultery without bearing false witness or coveting one's neighbors wife?

 

[TexasWife25]

Several of the commandments I would never rank in my top ten donts.

 

[rosco rathbone]

The Decalogue was superceded by the sermon on the mount.

 

[pierrelarue161]

How does one commit adultery without bearing false witness or coveting one's neighbors wife?

Depends on how one defines adultery. I was going with the modern, "no double standard" definition. And neither of my divorces made it to trial. We settled. I didn't care about the house enough either time to keep it. I let them keep the cars, too, in exchange for not being with stuck with the damn mortgage. Not having kids was a plus in both cases, too.

The only thing that sucks....taking the bus to work. But it's cheaper than paying someone's else mortgage and someday I will have a new car. No more wives, though. The third time is unlikely to be the charm, since I refuse to keep my dick in my pants. I warned the exes upfront that I was a skirt-chaser. They just chose not to believe me and then were shocked when I fucked around on them.

But I have coveted other men's wives. I just try not to covet anything else, if I can avoid. And I try not to be too obvious about wife-coveting. That commandment has the value of not getting you socked in the face.

 

[Silverlily]

I take exception to the first five.

 

[phrodeau]

The first four, especially where it's promised that breaking them gets blamed on your great grandchildren.

 

[bronzeage]

Depends on how one defines adultery. I was going with the modern, "no double standard" definition. And neither of my divorces made it to trial. We settled. I didn't care about the house enough either time to keep it. I let them keep the cars, too, in exchange for not being with stuck with the damn mortgage. Not having kids was a plus in both cases, too.

The only thing that sucks....taking the bus to work. But it's cheaper than paying someone's else mortgage and someday I will have a new car. No more wives, though. The third time is unlikely to be the charm, since I refuse to keep my dick in my pants. I warned the exes upfront that I was a skirt-chaser. They just chose not to believe me and then were shocked when I fucked around on them.

But I have coveted other men's wives. I just try not to covet anything else, if I can avoid. And I try not to be too obvious about wife-coveting. That commandment has the value of not getting you socked in the face.

My advice is to continue fucking stupid women.

 

[pointless]

The Decalogue was superceded by the sermon on the mount.

matthew 5:17

 

[pierrelarue161]

My advice is to continue fucking stupid women.

Granted, they were dumb, but I guess that I should have reminded them every day until the wedding.

"I'm a womanizer. If you want a faithful guy, you need to dump me and look elsewhere."

Think that would have worked?

 

[pointless]

17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.

18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.

19 Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.

20 For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven.

 

[bronzeage]

Granted, they were dumb, but I guess that I should have reminded them every day until the wedding.

"I'm a womanizer. If you want a faithful guy, you need to dump me and look elsewhere."

Think that would have worked?

It definitely would help you find the stupid ones.

 

[badbabysitter]

“You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth"


that's even before God tells you not to worship them



"He" just doesnt want you to have a picture of a fish... so, I'd have to disagree

 

[phrodeau]

“You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth"


that's even before God tells you not to worship them



"He" just doesnt want you to have a picture of a fish... so, I'd have to disagree

That makes me wonder why He keeps showing up on my toast.

 

[mynameisben]

Let's see...

Ketchup
Mayo
Mustard
Horse Radish
Salt
Black pepper
Tabasco
Relish
Chopped onion
Velveeta


Holy Moses! I could live without all of them except maybe salt.

 

[KingOrfeo]

The Decalogue was superceded by the sermon on the mount.

Blessed are the cheesemakers.

 

[TonyClifton]

If so, which ones? In my case, it would be the whole "no adultery" thing. The others generally make sense to me.

That is your problem.

Fuck off.

 

[Nerdy_Harold]

That is your problem.

Fuck off.

His problem is not the 10 Commandments it is being a cheating asshole.

 

[CandiCame]

Thou shalt have no other gods before me. 7 Thou shalt have none other gods before me.

I get that, for the religion to work, you gotta make this god your #1 god. This one is cool.

2 2 1 4 Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth: 8 Thou shalt not make thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the waters beneath the earth:

Fuck this shit. Don't censor me. I'm a fucking artist.


2 2 1 5 Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; 9 Thou shalt not bow down thyself unto them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me,
2 2 1 6 And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments. 10 And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me and keep my commandments.

Then why the fuck put you first if I have no one to put second? Shouldn't you have just said, "Fuck everyone else, I'm the only god" and just had these be one commandment? What, are you getting paid by the word or some shit?


3 3 2 7 Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain; for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain. 11 Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain: for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.


Jesus Fucking Christ, really?


4 4 3 8 Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. 12 Keep the sabbath day to sanctify it, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee.
4 4 3 9 Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work: 13 Six days thou shalt labour, and do all thy work:
4 4 3 10 But the seventh day is the sabbath of the LORD thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates: 14 But the seventh day is the sabbath of the LORD thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, nor thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thine ox, nor thine ass, nor any of thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates; that thy manservant and thy maidservant may rest as well as thou.
4 4 3 11 For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the LORD blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it. 15 And remember that thou wast a servant in the land of Egypt, and that the LORD thy God brought thee out thence through a mighty hand and by a stretched out arm: therefore the LORD thy God commanded thee to keep the sabbath day.


I'll totally take a day off. This was actually kinda cool of god. Thanks. I'll spend all Sunday in front of the X-box. Awesome.


5 5 4 12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee. 16 Honour thy father and thy mother, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

FUCK THIS SHIT!! Fuck this shit up the ass with a cactus. And bite the pillow, because I'm goin in dry!


6 6 5 13 Thou shalt not kill. 17 Thou shalt not kill.

But... I'm hungry. This makes no sense. This is not isolated to killing other humans- this is a direct biblical quote. How the fuck am I supposed to live without killing anything? Even strict vegans have to kill to live. God did not think this through.



7 7 6 14 Thou shalt not commit adultery. 18 Neither shalt thou commit adultery.

Alright. I kinda get this. Patriarchial religion in the times before DNA testing, there was no other way to determine who your children were. This makes a little sense.



8 8 7 15 Thou shalt not steal. 19 Neither shalt thou steal.

Alright...


9 9 8 16 Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour. 20 Neither shalt thou bear false witness against thy neighbour.

Liars piss me off to, God, I'm with you on this one. Assholes.


10 10 9 17 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, 21 Neither shalt thou desire thy neighbour's wife,
10 10 10 thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's. neither shalt thou covet thy neighbour's house, his field, or his manservant, or his maidservant, his ox, or his ass, or any thing that is thy neighbour's.


What if my neighbor has really cool shit? I mean, this is kinda the backbone of capatalist society. If I never wanted the shit that other people had, then advertising would never work at all. Our entire economy would implode like a neutron star. This rule is stupid.


So really, I could make do with about half of these.

 

[christy1989]

As top ten lists go...I think this is by far the best. It pretty much sums it all up in 10 simple rules. That being said...If only the ones who think it is appropriate to post them on billboards or large signs in their yard, I for some reason find that blasphemous and insulting. Go figure!

 

[Frizzle_Fry]

Don't worship false idols but the rape, enslavement and subjugation of women.....totally cool.

 

[christy1989]

Don't worship false idols but the rape, enslavement and subjugation of women.....totally cool.

Is that number 11? I missed that one!

 

[pointless]

it was on the tablet moses dropped after he came back down from the mountain.