Trust

[Pelagie]

For me, the trust to turn over my body for the physical parts...the sex, floggings, etc was the easy part. Turning over my mind and more? Ah, that was the difficult part. Still is to a degree. But...oh so worth it in the long run.

This is so true for me as well. Turning over my body for use is probably easier than it should be. But my emotions are fiercely guarded. I rarely confuse sex for emotion anymore (one of the benefits of growing up, I guess).

If you want to do the damn already, and trust is that is important to you I would say just wait and let that trust develop organically. Only you can really understand how important it is.

 

[Edith_UK]

This is so true for me as well. Turning over my body for use is probably easier than it should be. But my emotions are fiercely guarded. I rarely confuse sex for emotion anymore (one of the benefits of growing up, I guess).

If you want to do the damn already, and trust is that is important to you I would say just wait and let that trust develop organically. Only you can really understand how important it is.

I'm curious about this: I rarely confuse sex for emotion.

When I've thought about it, I've always thought the main reason I don't feel nothing (physical) is that sex has rarely had any emotional meaning to me. Well, I can kinda 'rationalise' emotion- I know when I care about someone I like to please em, I like the physical comfort then.

But when people talk about sex as 'making love', I don't understand, and I think THAT'S what's missing. So I'm interested that you've learnt the opposite, that sex isn't about emotion. Can you... tell me more about that? x

 

[Pelagie]

I'm not sure how to describe it, Edith. I'm fairly certain many armchair psychologists would say that I'm emotionally closed off as a protective mechanism. I kind of disassociate my mind/ emotions from the physicality of sex.

I'm able to simply enjoy the act without any deeper meaning or attachment. Kind of like eating a fast food burger when I'm starving versus sitting down and savoring a steak dinner. Sex with emotion (any type of strong emotion- anger or love) is the steak dinner. Sex without emotion is the fast food burger (nice and even somewhat satisfying but not mind blowing).

I hope I answered your question.

 

[Edith_UK]

Oh yer, sorry Pelagie, I totally get you. I just misunderstood, seems we're kinda talking bout the same thing!

In other news: I was wanting to ask this.... I've been reading lots of stuff about subspace after it were mentioned to me. Not ever come across this before. I think it might be like hypnotism though, you know how some people can be hypnotised and some can't, and I'm in the definitely can't category.

How does it differ from just switching off, dreaming or taking your head elsewhere? It sounds euphoric? Is that the difference? What are you thinking about if you've ever experienced it? Do you orgasm when your there (how, if you can't feel owt?).

I know this sounds like I've not read fuck all and I'm being lazy, but I have read the library threads and the first page of google lol x

 

[Edith_UK]

Fucking HELL. Attempt number 1 was was a total failure *facepalm*

Couldn't even get past the email/ Skype stage. Just loads of fear and uncertainty. Kept being told things, or finding out things from different sources, that kinda matched up and kinda didn't about the situation, just enough uncertainty to give me the fear. And that was just the 'getting to know' stage

Fuck this shit I'm incapable of trust. I'm gonna be a nun. Best of luck to you all with your explorations, this board is ace for non-judgemental and thoughtful advice

Edie x

 

[His_pet_slut]

Fucking HELL. Attempt number 1 was was a total failure *facepalm*

Couldn't even get past the email/ Skype stage. Just loads of fear and uncertainty. Kept being told things, or finding out things from different sources, that kinda matched up and kinda didn't about the situation, just enough uncertainty to give me the fear. And that was just the 'getting to know' stage

Fuck this shit I'm incapable of trust. I'm gonna be a nun. Best of luck to you all with your explorations, this board is ace for non-judgemental and thoughtful advice

Edie x

Hey darlin', now don't be so fast to blame yourself. You know, those instincts may well have been spot on and you did the right thing. If there were things that didn't match up and you felt you were being deceived, there is a good chance you were.

I'm sorry it didn't work out, but trust yourself and your gut, okay?

 

[Edith_UK]

Thanks sweetheart.

 

[DVS]

Gone in less 60 seconds!
Fun stuff. Wow, that was fast!

Nothing to see here, folks. Move along now. Move along.

 

[DVS]

God, they just don't quit. 23 posts, this time around.

Man, somebody is pretty damn fast at removing these posts. I'm going to stop reporting them. By the time I report one post, they are all already gone!

 

[Edith_UK]

What're they saying DVS they slagging me off? Cos man I've still been getting some proper hardcore nasty ones about whoring. Fuckin SO so SO glad I'm not a working girl in the states I'd seriously fuckin fear for my life, and not even from a punter!! from some fuckin religious nutjob who thinks they are 'cleansing' the world. Tell you this religious nutjobs and your pious hatred, FUCK your baby Jebus. Also, stop wanking over bdsm boards or your gonna go to hell innit.

Edit unwiseness

 

[Stella_Omega]

You can put the nutcase on ignore and they will not be able to send you PMs any longer

The thing DVS is talking about is spammers.

 

[Edith_UK]

You can put the nutcase on ignore and they will not be able to send you PMs any longer

The thing DVS is talking about is spammers.

Oh. It's not just one nutter! They drop in for one-off abusive rants. I just delete em. Don't upset me unless I'm feeling tired.

 

[Edith_UK]

Gonna do this. Two feet first this Thursday with someone off of here as it goes. Fuck the trust issues, let's find out what it's all about

 

[DVS]

Gonna do this. Two feet first this Thursday with someone off of here as it goes. Fuck the trust issues, let's find out what it's all about

Are you taking your security with you?

 

[Edith_UK]

Are you taking your security with you?

No. I've weighed it up, I don't think there's physical danger. Although I'm pretty fucking scared but that's kinda the point innit.

 

[butterfly_flip]

Fucking HELL. Attempt number 1 was was a total failure *facepalm*

Couldn't even get past the email/ Skype stage. Just loads of fear and uncertainty. Kept being told things, or finding out things from different sources, that kinda matched up and kinda didn't about the situation, just enough uncertainty to give me the fear. And that was just the 'getting to know' stage

Fuck this shit I'm incapable of trust. I'm gonna be a nun. Best of luck to you all with your explorations, this board is ace for non-judgemental and thoughtful advice

Edie x

Aw no, don't give up!
Ok, so attempt one went wrong.......fuck it, forget it. Tis done, gone, forgotten.

Tis scary as hell, to even contemplate trusting someone, I do know this.

Keep going, baby steps etc etc

 

[butterfly_flip]

Gonna do this. Two feet first this Thursday with someone off of here as it goes. Fuck the trust issues, let's find out what it's all about

Oooh, I didn't see this bit!

Good luck!

 

[Edith_UK]

Oooh, I didn't see this bit!

Good luck!

Cheers hun. Y'know I ain't scared of the physicals for 3 reasons 1. I can dissociate really fuckin hard if i need to, 2. Another womans gonna be there and 3. I wanna be hurt.

Thing that scares me is the 'not going back'. THAT I'm terrified of.

 

[DVS]

No. I've weighed it up, I don't think there's physical danger. Although I'm pretty fucking scared but that's kinda the point innit.

No bondage, I hope!

 

[Edith_UK]

No bondage, I hope!

No fuckin point otherwise!

Eta: fuck *sake* I'm all over the shop with this. One minute I think yer, sound, one night go for it. The next I literally feel sick with fear.

 

[DVS]

No fuckin point otherwise!

Eta: fuck *sake* I'm all over the shop with this. One minute I think yer, sound, one night go for it. The next I literally feel sick with fear.

I hope your judgement of the guy is sound. There are some out there, but I don't have to tell you there are also some not so sound.

Be sure to let us know how things went. OK? You're one of us, now.

 

[Edith_UK]

I hope your judgement of the guy is sound. There are some out there, but I don't have to tell you there are also some not so sound.

Be sure to let us know how things went. OK? You're one of us, now.

Hey that's sweet, your gonna make me fuckin soft lol, not often I belong anywhere hahaha. I'll let you know.

 

[His_pet_slut]

Hey that's sweet, your gonna make me fuckin soft lol, not often I belong anywhere hahaha. I'll let you know.

Yes, what DVS said. You are one of us. I am happy you are going to try again, but do keep some safety nets in place. xoxo

 

[Edith_UK]

Having a proper what the FUCK am I playing at moment. Why am I meeting a man older than my fuckin Dad, to fuck him for no money? (WTF?!). I usually *never* meet more than one person cos it's unsafe, but this time I'm meeting two cos somehow I've worked out this makes it safer I usually take security cos im scared of getting hurt, but cos I KNOW I'm gonna get hurt I ain't taking security. This shit is all so muddled up it's like Alice in fuckin Wonderland. I keep thinking how did I get here??

 

[PhilGarlic]

maybe

Hi, so the nun role was a non starter :rolleye stay safe.