Swinger Parties

[StaciRay79]

My husband and I were invited to a Swinger party being hosted by our neighbor. We've never gone to one before and I was looking for some advice from people who had.

I posted about 2-weeks ago regarding how I learned he was a swinger back at the end of last summer. Since that time he's promised he would invite us to his next party. Hubby and I talked and agreed we wanted to try it, but now that it's here, I don't what to expect.

Can anyone tell me what I should be wary of? I know we should agree on our own personal rules and limits before we go, but what suggestions from other people have worked for them? Want to make sure we enjoy it, but don't want to regret anything either.

Thanks!

 

[peebudy]

I've not had the pleasure of attending a swingers party (my wife would never go for it) but my guess is that the two biggest hurdles for you and your hubby to clear will be jealously and insecurity.

I don't that any amount of preparation can diminish the shock of the first time you see your loving, trusted husband with his cock buried deep in some other woman's pussy, or him seeing those lips if yours that he's kissed so often wrapped around the cock of some other guy.

This is usually made worse if the stranger hits either one of your insecurity hot buttons. Does the woman have those perfect breasts and thin waist you've always wanted? Is the guy hung like a horse making hubby's normal sized dick pale in comparison? Does either stranger look like someone you know and don't care for(an ex- or that slut from your high school).

And you both need to prepare yourself for how you are going to react when approached by someone of the same sex in a sexual way.

It's usually these deep seeded emotions which bubble to the top in a situation like that. But if you can manage them and get past them, you're probably in for one helluva good time!

 

[bumlicker]

just go for it!!

lifes way too short to worry what everyone else thinks if your feeling it just go for it.if not dont pretty simple

 

[Jenna2641]

My wife and I were in the life style for a few years, but we never really did anything. Just attended parties and socialized. A little same room action or girl-girl action. Which is what we were mostly interested in it for. Her bi curiosity and fuel for our pillow talk. Even then, communication with your spouse is essential. Be sure that either of you can call things off if you want and don't let anyone pressure you. Even your spouse. On the other hand, relax and let your hair down. Get to know people. Even if you don't do anything at the party, you and your spouse will have lots of fuel for pillow talk. Also, you don't have to go all the way. Some of our favorite fantasies are about just watching another couple up close or three of us massaging and masturbating the third. So have fun, play safe, and do what you feel comfortable doing. Then go home and talk about it.

 

[readinggp]

An update tomorrow letting us know how the night went would be great.

For those of us who would love to be in this situation and have to live vicariously through other people like yourselves.

I have no experience in this situation but no matter the deal, as long as you're both comfortable and don't get pressured into anything. That would be what I would suggest.

Have fun.

 

[StaciRay79]

I've gotten quite a few PMs regarding tips and am thankful. The party is not this weekend, it's next - so sorry I won't be giving any updates in the next couple of days.

I wouldn't call us Swingers, but we're not exactly rookies either. We've both had other partners since we've been married, but we've always been together when doing so. We already have established rules and both of us are fully on board with attending.

My question really focused more on the party itself and what to expect from THAT experience since neither of us has ever attended one. Are there certain rules and etiquette at such parties that we need to be aware of? Are there party fouls to make sure to avoid? Things like that.

Thanks!

 

[Jenna2641]

I've gotten quite a few PMs regarding tips and am thankful. The party is not this weekend, it's next - so sorry I won't be giving any updates in the next couple of days.

I wouldn't call us Swingers, but we're not exactly rookies either. We've both had other partners since we've been married, but we've always been together when doing so. We already have established rules and both of us are fully on board with attending.

My question really focused more on the party itself and what to expect from THAT experience since neither of us has ever attended one. Are there certain rules and etiquette at such parties that we need to be aware of? Are there party fouls to make sure to avoid? Things like that.

Thanks!

Each party is going to be different. Most of what we attended were called meet and greats. You get to know people and network. Any action that night would occur between couples after at the location they would arrange or at a future time. Other parties had a separate play room. And still others allowed petting or nudity, but no penetration, except in a play room.

Now I hear of some places or parties where anything goes in common areas or play areas, so you'll just have to feel things out.

Also, be mindful of the crowd. Most are okay with girl-girl action, but get too freaked out about the hint of guy-guy action. I know one guy initially listed himself as bi on a swinger website most of the group belonged to, but when it was found out that most of the guys were going to freak out, changed it and played as ultra macho and future parties.

It might be worth asking your neighbor more about what style of party he is hosting to better prepare yourself.

Good luck!

 

[StaciRay79]

Thanks Jenna! That's the kind of pointers I was hoping for!!

 

[jackstud]

Jenna gives such good advise

 

[OnceFuturePoly]

Checkout http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/index.php.

This is a community of real people with lots of advice and stories about how they got started, what they expected, what they got, different venues, why they continue, etc.

 

[StaciRay79]

I was wrong about the date of the party, it's actually this coming weekend (March 3rd). I'll make sure to let you know how it was if anyone's interested.

Also, thanks Poly for the weblink - that site's FULL of great information! I've been reading thru all of it for the past few days and think I'm about as ready as I can be for the party.

We're both really excited and looking forward to it.

 

[Nell3dx]

iI'm a swingers

I visit swingers club, never attend a private party. You seemed well prepare, with rule and all. My only advice is to be open to change some rule while you live the adventure.

Enjoy, and have a lots of fun. Can't wait to have news from after the party.

 

[Jenna2641]

Thanks Jenna! That's the kind of pointers I was hoping for!!

Your welcome. Hope you have a positive experience at your pace and comfort level. Of course, we also hope you will share any details! Hugs, Jenna

 

[NaturistLouise]

I was wrong about the date of the party, it's actually this coming weekend (March 3rd). I'll make sure to let you know how it was if anyone's interested.

Staci, please mark me as one that is interested in hearing all about it. Hubby and I have never been in the swinging lifestyle, so I couldn't contribute to your thread. However, we both have fantasies about swinging, 3somes, etc. I would luv to hear all about your actual real-to-life experience.

 

[soflabbwlvr]

A swinger's party is just like any other party, except by the end of the night people will be having sex in some parts of the house. Don't expect everyone to walk in, take off their clothes, and start having indiscriminate sex. Don't expect keys to be drawn from a hat or any other random pairing of individuals.

First of all, take your own alcohol. Drink just enough to lower your inhibitions, but not so much that you are falling down drunk. I wouldn't recommend beer or wine, since you have to drink a greater volume to catch your buzz and that leads to more frequent trips to the bathroom. Better to take a bottle of vodka or rum or whatever it is that you prefer, and whatever you like to mix with it. Mix a couple of strong drinks, and you're on your way.

Second, greet the host and hostess as soon as you enter. This will be easier since you already know them. Pay attention when they tell you which parts of the house are for partying, and which parts are off-limits. Respect their boundaries.

Third, if you are a smoker, try to get by with as few cigarettes as possible. Go outside to smoke. If you can, save it for the end of the night. Take breath mints.

Fourth, socialize. Allow the host and hostess to introduce you to other couples. Talk to people. Most swingers are not just looking for an attractive body and a pretty face--they want to make a connection.

Fifth, decide beforehand if you and your partner are going to play together or separately. My wife and I always played together, but we were surprised to find that many couples split up at parties and pursued their own agendas. This being your first party, you will probably want to stay together. Be prepared for one or the other of you to encounter others who are looking to play with only one of you.

Take a look at my story, Another Couples Party. It is a mostly true account of a party we attended several years ago. That will give you a flavor of what you can expect.

 

[Missingout]

Sounds like alot of fun.

 

[peekingone]

I've gotten quite a few PMs regarding tips and am thankful. The party is not this weekend, it's next - so sorry I won't be giving any updates in the next couple of days.

I wouldn't call us Swingers, but we're not exactly rookies either. We've both had other partners since we've been married, but we've always been together when doing so. We already have established rules and both of us are fully on board with attending.

My question really focused more on the party itself and what to expect from THAT experience since neither of us has ever attended one. Are there certain rules and etiquette at such parties that we need to be aware of? Are there party fouls to make sure to avoid? Things like that.

Thanks!

Well I can't wait to hear about it. I often thought about doing it with my wife. Just the nerves get in the way now and then. So hope you have some good experience and some details too

 

[StaciRay79]

Great Tips! We already know we will stay together the whole time. This is one of our normal rules and this being our first "party" we definitely plan to keep it this way.

My neighbor has already said he would introduce everyone. He said he expects about 8-10 couples based on RSVPs.

We're very excited about it and will post this weekend to let you know how it went.

Thanks again to everyone for the tips/hints on how to make the most of it and enjoy.

Staci

A swinger's party is just like any other party, except by the end of the night people will be having sex in some parts of the house. Don't expect everyone to walk in, take off their clothes, and start having indiscriminate sex. Don't expect keys to be drawn from a hat or any other random pairing of individuals.

First of all, take your own alcohol. Drink just enough to lower your inhibitions, but not so much that you are falling down drunk. I wouldn't recommend beer or wine, since you have to drink a greater volume to catch your buzz and that leads to more frequent trips to the bathroom. Better to take a bottle of vodka or rum or whatever it is that you prefer, and whatever you like to mix with it. Mix a couple of strong drinks, and you're on your way.

Second, greet the host and hostess as soon as you enter. This will be easier since you already know them. Pay attention when they tell you which parts of the house are for partying, and which parts are off-limits. Respect their boundaries.

Third, if you are a smoker, try to get by with as few cigarettes as possible. Go outside to smoke. If you can, save it for the end of the night. Take breath mints.

Fourth, socialize. Allow the host and hostess to introduce you to other couples. Talk to people. Most swingers are not just looking for an attractive body and a pretty face--they want to make a connection.

Fifth, decide beforehand if you and your partner are going to play together or separately. My wife and I always played together, but we were surprised to find that many couples split up at parties and pursued their own agendas. This being your first party, you will probably want to stay together. Be prepared for one or the other of you to encounter others who are looking to play with only one of you.

Take a look at my story, Another Couples Party. It is a mostly true account of a party we attended several years ago. That will give you a flavor of what you can expect.

 

[Friendly_Guy]

The fact that it is at a neighbor's seems risky. What if its weird? What if it gets too personal?

You live near these people. This wont be a thing you can just chalk up to an experience that wasnt for you like it was a movie you didnt like. You will see these people regularly.

If it was people that lived miles away and it was weird, you can just go home and say "oh well".

 

[kneedeep98]

Enjoy

I am sure you are ready for the party. Most of all enjoy. Do what you enjoy and don't do what you don't want.

We will wait for your recap of the party.

Again enjoy.

 

[StaciRay79]

a brief recap

As promised, here’s a recap of last night…

The party was great! We had lots of fun. There were 5 other couples, 3 solo guys and 2 solo girls (17 people total) – and everyone was extremely nice and respectful. There was one other couple who were attending their first party as well. It started in the late afternoon and there was a huge spread of fruit, veggies, and sandwiches set out on the patio for everybody to eat. Lots of socializing and talking too.

The hosts took the two new couples aside early and talked to us about what we could expect and asked if we were concerned about anything. The other wife asked what to do if we felt “pressured” by anyone and the host said to let him know immediately and he’d stop it. Certainly didn’t happen to us and I don’t think it happened to anyone else either. He also said that if we ever felt uncomfortable, they had set aside their game room where anyone could go to get away – TVs, ping pong table, video games, food, drinks – but no nudity, sex, or talk about it either.

For fear of writing a novel, I’ll stick to a few of the highlights…
1. The fun started with 2 games called “cum roulette”. First, 4 girls took turns blowing this one guy. Each got 1 minute, then they switched. They kept doing this until one made him cum. Winner got a $30 gift certificate. Then 4 guys took turns licking one girl until she came. Same basic rules, but they couldn’t use their hands. The girls could. It was actually a pretty good way to get everything started - mainly because of the way they did it. Made it pretty fun. And it was extremely hot to see too! Lots of side bets going on too.

2. There was one guy there everyone called “Jabba the Hut”. Obviously he was a regular with this group. He was HUGE! Easily over 300 lbs and laid on a couch just like the Star Wars character so it was kind of funny to watch. He also had an extremely large cock. I asked the hostess, and she said they’d played a game a couple years back where the ladies guessed how big, then measured him at over 11 inches. I saw a couple of girls playing with him, but nobody actually fucked him that I saw.

3. Hubby and I started slow – mostly watching and touching each other a bit. There was one couple we really hit it off with so we joined them in a private room and played with them there.

4. I took a shower with 2 other girls and 1 guy, but you should have seen this shower. It was a HUGE walk-in shower! I’ve never seen anything like it before. It was like a short hallway that opened into a big round circle about 5-6 feet across. Also had a couple of benches built in. There were poles with 3 water jets attached in 4 spots and all of them were spraying (almost like a car wash), plus a huge rainfall-styled overhead one. The one side of the shower was tiled, but the side facing the rest of the bathroom was all glass. Hubby was among about 6 others who watched us in the shower. It was really cool! Probably my favorite part of the whole night.

Once we saw a couple people leave we went ahead and left too. Thanked the hosts and told them how much fun it was. They thanked us for coming. Really was a lot of fun! We went home and talked about it – both of us had a great time. We agreed to wait a couple of days and talk about it again to see if we still felt the same or had anything else to say about it.

 

[BlueyeGuy51]

StaciRay, thanks for sharing with us. Sounds like it was definitely a positive experience for you and your husband, not to mention it was hot to read about. Hope you'll let us know what the future holds.

 

[peterthelicker]

Glad you had a good experience!!! Want share any details of being with the couple? Same room play? Maybe full swap? Girl girl?

Again, glad you had fun!

 

[StaciRay79]

not sure how everyone defines "full swap". I'd call it more of a 4-some since everyone was playing with everyone (Yes, that even means both guys playing with each other too).

 

[LimoAndPizza]

not sure how everyone defines "full swap". I'd call it more of a 4-some since everyone was playing with everyone (Yes, that even means both guys playing with each other too).

That sounds like a lot of fun. The whole night sounds fun. Thanks for sharing!