lovecraft68
Bad Doggie
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Yeah another desert ruined. Bad enough that after the wife used one to masturbate with in front of me, I can no longer look at a Popsicle without getting excited.
Signs that you spend way too much time on Literotica.
- Thread starter LaRascasse
- Start date
Yeah another desert ruined. Bad enough that after the wife used one to masturbate with in front of me, I can no longer look at a Popsicle without getting excited.
litfan10
owner of slave_
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You must be a real riot to be with on a family night out to the ice cream parlour.
"Mommy, why is that strange man drooling so much and his eyes are bulging????"
and you need to talk to your wife about frostbite risks! man.....bbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
PennLady
Literotica Guru
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Haha. I'm even more vanilla than that -- just a plain container of vanilla ice cream. Vanilla bean preferred, though.
No, we spend months going "WTF was [player/coach] thinking?" and "WTF happened to the way they played in the regular season?"
litfan10
owner of slave_
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Haha. I'm even more vanilla than that -- just a plain container of vanilla ice cream. Vanilla bean preferred, though.
FRENCH vanilla. eh, oui madam, l'amour...ze language of love!
PennLady
Literotica Guru
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Haha. I always thought French looked better written on the page, but that Spanish sounded better spoken. When you pronounce the R in French it sounds a bit like coughing up a hairball. But it's pretty written down.
and as much as I like French Vanilla ice cream, I can't say that's a fetish either. geez, I am so dull.
TxRad
Dirty Old Man
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Angellica1612
Married to Mutato
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We can't all be Cherry Chocolate Fudge Vanilla Swirl. Now that would be dull (it would take a while to get dull though, that stuff is seriously awesome!)
TxRad
Dirty Old Man
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Angellica1612
Married to Mutato
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Six yards of rope and a what?
Why, TX, you made me blush! (I prefer silk scarves and a blindfold...oops, did I say that out loud?)
YoursSINSerely
Still East of the River
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You end up just being a lurker.
cfuhrer
whiskey in a tea cup
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I fixed your post for you
TE999
How 'bout a kiss, baby
- Joined
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- 30,088
You know you're spending too much time on Literotica when:
You haven't had sex with anyone for months except yourself.
If you do have sex with someone else you're thinking "There's a plot bunny in this experience."
You begin to see your all co-workers and friends personality quirks as types of fetishes.
You can type 80 words a minute with one hand.
You tend to classify all women as kittens or cougars.
You think of the missionary sex position as somewhat kinky.
All the employees in the neighborhood sex shop know you by your first name.
You know what terms like DP, snowballing, frottage, saddlebacking, creampie, pegging and glory hole refer to.
You haven't had sex with anyone for months except yourself.
If you do have sex with someone else you're thinking "There's a plot bunny in this experience."
You begin to see your all co-workers and friends personality quirks as types of fetishes.
You can type 80 words a minute with one hand.
You tend to classify all women as kittens or cougars.
You think of the missionary sex position as somewhat kinky.
All the employees in the neighborhood sex shop know you by your first name.
You know what terms like DP, snowballing, frottage, saddlebacking, creampie, pegging and glory hole refer to.
Artina Heartflash
*************************
- Joined
- Oct 26, 2002
- Posts
- 3,294
You start to note the trolls are having more fun than you... and are rousing more people than you can excite with your pervy Pollyanna porn....
and you begin to covet the golden Troll of the Year trophy....
and you begin to covet the golden Troll of the Year trophy....
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lovecraft68
Bad Doggie
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- Jul 13, 2009
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You drive by a spa that has a sign advertising facials and find yourself beginning to turn into it.
Artina Heartflash
*************************
- Joined
- Oct 26, 2002
- Posts
- 3,294
lol. then you see the sign next door at the auto garage. It reads "ask us for rim jobs".
TheeGoatPig
There is no R in my name
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- Dec 29, 2004
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- 13,163
ATM inside. Need I say more? Ok then, Drive through ATM.
Artina Heartflash
*************************
- Joined
- Oct 26, 2002
- Posts
- 3,294
-You are a virgin, yet you know more sexual terms than your supposedly experienced class mates.
-You find sexual puns and innuendos in everyday sentences.
-You created this thread
You initiated a thread about sexual frustration and you're still hanging on it after 9 years.
OH LAR!!! You bragged to me that this thread is "insanely popular". The sexual frustration thread is almost 1000 pages long. You have a loooooong battle ahead of you to claim the madness crown. ;P
Oh...Now am I nominated for the Trashy Troll bobblehead award?
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Artina Heartflash
*************************
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After three posts, you know who the person is an alt for.
and you have several alts of your own
TxRad
Dirty Old Man
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- Jan 13, 2005
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and you have several alts of your own
Not actually. Just one that I co-write with another author under. Although I am thinking about a series of stories from the female POV and i might post them under a Female alt just to see if they do better than my normal Female POV stories.
Angellica1612
Married to Mutato
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When you wake up, the first thing you do is check for PM's and read your favorite threads.
lovecraft68
Bad Doggie
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When the word "Toys" has a whole new meaning
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