Signs that you spend way too much time on Literotica.

[Handley_Page]

I can go to bed feeling like I've accomplished so much. Then I realize I have 2 papers to write, an essay to finish, and an online quiz that I missed, but I DID write twenty pages of smut.

I can go to a seminar designed to teach college students about sex and know all of the answers.

I am shocked when most of my friends don't know what BDSM stands for.

I laugh at jokes my friends/family don't get, but I'm afraid to tell them why it was funny.

Some of us on here Still don't know that . . . .
(an educated guess is not quite the same)

 

[cfuhrer]

Some of us on here Still don't know that . . . .
(an educated guess is not quite the same)

Burgers
Dogs
Sanwiches
Muffins

 

[lovecraft68]

Burgers
Dogs
Sanwiches
Muffins

Well duh!

 

[lovecraft68]

Some of us on here Still don't know that . . . .
(an educated guess is not quite the same)

It's a further sign when you know what a TPE relationship is.

That one usually slips by the people who think they know BDSM because they know there is a safe word. (Stella Omega's personal favorites they are)

 

[lovecraft68]

I think the ultimate sign came a couple of months ago when I was going around inspecting the forklifts in the factory.

While I was raising and lower the forks, I had the image of having a woman tied to the frame and being lowered onto a hitachi wand, held there long enough to get close then lifted up at the last minute.

Or tied upside down for a very interesting skull fucking.

Then again, maybe I had those thoughts before lit.

 

[Angellica1612]

You're a bit scary.

 

[lovecraft68]

You're a bit scary.

Not at all sweetie. Now why don't you come just a little bit closer?

 

[Angellica1612]

Not at all sweetie. Now why don't you come just a little bit closer?

Is it hot in here?

 

[PennLady]

Is it hot in here?

Just stay away from the heavy machinery. And where LC's involved, just show him your foot.

 

[litfan10]

Just stay away from the heavy machinery. And where LC's involved, just show him your foot.

LC has a foot fetish ?!?!?

Another sign of too much Lit time.... the words "heavy machinery" brings visions of twelve inch + life-like dildos instantly to mind

 

[lovecraft68]

Just stay away from the heavy machinery. And where LC's involved, just show him your foot.

I think you are spending too much time on lit when you know that LC has a foot fetish!

 

[lovecraft68]

LC has a foot fetish ?!?!?

Another sign of too much Lit time.... the words "heavy machinery" brings visions of twelve inch + life-like dildos instantly to mind

Or one of those crazy fucking machines they have here

http://www.devicebondage.com/site/shoots.jsp

 

[Cruel2BKind]

You've spent too much time on lit when you know everyone's fetishes.

Stella Omega; tentacles

LC68; feet, incest

Scouries; incest, being a disease

 

[lovecraft68]

You've spent too much time on lit when you know everyone's fetishes.

Stella Omega; tentacles

LC68; feet, incest

Scouries; incest, being a disease

Or when you begin to post about your booty calls

Not that I mind, hell it inspired my next role play for the wife.

 

[Angellica1612]

Or one of those crazy fucking machines they have here

http://www.devicebondage.com/site/shoots.jsp

I'm putting one of those on my Christmas list

 

[PennLady]

I think you are spending too much time on lit when you know that LC has a foot fetish!

Not my fault you've been very open (-toed) about it. hehe.

 

[PennLady]

You've spent too much time on lit when you know everyone's fetishes.

If someone happens to know mine, please let me know.

 

[lovecraft68]

If someone happens to know mine, please let me know.

I think it involves Ice and pucks and lots of cross checking.

No truth to the rumor that PL has a plexi glass wall in the bedroom that Mr. Penn slams her into when they fool around

Or is there?

 

[Angellica1612]

If someone happens to know mine, please let me know.

Your fetish is wanting a fetish you don't have. Very frustrating.

 

[PennLady]

I think it involves Ice and pucks and lots of cross checking.

No truth to the rumor that PL has a plexi glass wall in the bedroom that Mr. Penn slams her into when they fool around

Or is there?

Your fetish is wanting a fetish you don't have. Very frustrating.

LC: Hahaha. As much as I love hockey, I can assure you it's not a fetish. Especially with the way the Caps have been playing this year.

Angelica: I seriously think I must be the most plain-vanilla author IRL on this site.

 

[Angellica1612]

LC: Hahaha. As much as I love hockey, I can assure you it's not a fetish. Especially with the way the Caps have been playing this year.

Angelica: I seriously think I must be the most plain-vanilla author IRL on this site.

Hey, vanilla's a flavor, and a good one at that.

 

[lovecraft68]

Hey, vanilla's a flavor, and a good one at that.

and it's usually sandwiched between chocolate and strawberry. So maybe a black man and a red head? and then....

See? More proof I have been here too long.

 

[lovecraft68]

LC: Hahaha. As much as I love hockey, I can assure you it's not a fetish. Especially with the way the Caps have been playing this year.

Angelica: I seriously think I must be the most plain-vanilla author IRL on this site.

Still better than spending two weeks going "If Fucking Welker had just caught that ball...."

 

[LaRascasse]

-You are a virgin, yet you know more sexual terms than your supposedly experienced class mates.

-You find sexual puns and innuendos in everyday sentences.

-You created this thread

 

[litfan10]

and it's usually sandwiched between chocolate and strawberry. So maybe a black man and a red head? and then....

See? More proof I have been here too long.

Well I know the next time I have a Neapolitan my mind is going straight to the gutter!