Feedback for a first time writer

[moonlight84]

Hello everyone,
After enjoying to read all these stories I´ve started to write my first story in CHYOO2. I would really like to get some feedback as it is my first attemp to write erotica. Also the story is quite dark imo and far from finished.

The Storytitel is: The Runaway Aristocrat

http://www.literotica.com/s/the-runaway-aristocrat

http://www.chyoo.com/index.php/main.story.cover/8340


PS: It is better to have a deep thread or many branches?

 

[sr71plt]

Hello everyone,
After enjoying to read all these stories I´ve started to write my first story in CHYOO2. I would really like to get some feedback as it is my first attemp to write erotica. Also the story is quite dark imo and far from finished.

The Storytitel is: The Runaway Aristocrat

http://www.chyoo.com/index.php/main.story.cover/8340


PS: It is better to have a deep thread or many branches?

Your story isn't on Literotica? This isn't really a critique site for works published elsewhere--or a place to publicize other sites.

I suggest you post your story to the Literotica story file and then ask for comment, if you like.

(And so, are we going to go another round with Elfin and Lovecraft68 on this too? See rule 6 of the forum rules.)

 

[moonlight84]

Isn´t CYHOO2 a part of literotica?

It is linked from this site and there is also official forum support...

 

[sr71plt]

Isn´t CYHOO2 a part of literotica?

It is linked from this site and there is also official forum support...

Beats me. If so, I apologize and carry on. (But I have no idea whether it is or not--and I see no evidence on its home page that there's any affiliation.)

I see, though, that one would have to register for it to find that out--or to critique your story.

 

[moonlight84]

Well, I can read all the stories without being logged in.
I don´t really see the problem. You can write your feedback here in this thread.

 

[sr71plt]

Well, I can read all the stories without being logged in.
I don´t really see the problem. You can write your feedback here in this thread.

I told you what the problem (and the forum policy) was from the get go.

I don't think it has any relationship to Literotica at all, actually. I was trying to be polite.

If you want it discussed at Literotica, post to Literotica. Pay your dues.

 

[moonlight84]

Well, if you go the tree up to "Literotica Discussion Board" and scroll your way down there is official forum support for CHYOO2.

Why whould they support it if it is not part of literotica?

It´s an interactive story and chyoo2 is the place to post them.

 

[sr71plt]

Well, if you go the tree up to "Literotica Discussion Board" and scroll your way down there is official forum support for CHYOO2.

Why whould they support it if it is not part of literotica?

It´s an interactive story and chyoo2 is the place to post them.

I see. Sorry. Then the problem seems to be that you posted this to the wrong forum. There's a feedback board for CHY002 on the CHY002 discussion boards.

 

[moonlight84]

I did take quite a good look but did not find a story feedback section.

Can you post me the link?

 

[sr71plt]

It's the middle one below "CHY002 Authors." It's subslug includes "discuss," and you've already posted to it on your story.

I'm really at sea what this file is and why it's separate from the Literatica story file. But whatever. See something new every day.

 

[moonlight84]

I`ve followed your advice and just got the first part of my story approved.

Weel, I hope someone can give me some feedback now.

http://www.literotica.com/s/the-runaway-aristocrat