A little help for a new Master

[blackfire87]

I'm trying to help teach my Master how the BDSM lifestyle works. It seems like something he's falling more into and I'd love to help him understand the proper etiquitte and behaviour aspects of sed lifestyle. He's willing to be taught, and his username here is haskall. I can teach him some from what I personally know but it'd be better for him to also learn from another Dom.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I would highly recommend the books of Robert Rubel, and if you ever get a chance to see any of his demos-- do so!

 

[blackfire87]

I passed it along to him and am thinking he'll look into it

 

[JMohegan]

I'm trying to help teach my Master how the BDSM lifestyle works. It seems like something he's falling more into and I'd love to help him understand the proper etiquitte and behaviour aspects of sed lifestyle. He's willing to be taught, and his username here is haskall. I can teach him some from what I personally know but it'd be better for him to also learn from another Dom.

Haskall -

Ditch the books and the notion that there's such a thing as a "BDSM lifestyle" to learn about. Study yourself and your partner instead.

Check with experts for safety tips and advice on achieving advanced rope, flogger, or whatever skill sets. But for the rest of it, foster your own creativity and gumption.
Think for yourself.

"Proper etiquette and behaviour" is whatever you want it to be.

That's my advice.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Ditch the books and the notion that there's such a thing as a "BDSM lifestyle" to learn about. Study yourself and your partner instead.

That's pretty much what the books I recommended will tell him.

 

[JMohegan]

That's pretty much what the books I recommended will tell him.

But I did it for free! In two sentences, no less.

 

[Stella_Omega]

But I did it for free! In two sentences, no less.

That's only the teeniest first bit of what he wants to learn.

 

[forgotten_moral]

I gotta agree with Stella_Omega and JMohegan. While a book can give you an overview of what the usual perception of a dom, it isn't going to be the same for you. There will be similarities and maybe as you read it you will have the feeling of "So that's what that feeling is" or "I think I'd like to try that" but every dom is different in his/her own way that makes us unique. Some are rough and strict (usually caring but not during a scene or certain times) while some are gentle-ish and more in the role of a mentor/teacher towards the sub.

What you need to do is see how the normal relationship compares to the growing D/S relationship and embrace it if it is what your mind and heart wants. If you don't like what happens during play, take command of the sub (in this case, blackfire87) and do what you want. Most subs love when the dominant takes command regardless of what it is over.

In short, the only person that can show you what kind of dom/domme you should be is yourself.

Good luck.

 

[xcfrrdvd]

In short, the only person that can show you what kind of dom/domme you should be is yourself.





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Cold Case Seasons 1-7 DVD Boxset

 

[satindesire]

This may go against what some of the other posts state but I personally believe books like "The New Bottoming Book" and "The New Topping Book" (books I ALWAYS recommend newbies read) are wonderful resources, not just "how to" books but really, the essential "why for" book, which is exactly what a newbie needs.