Struggling with Second Story - How long is too long?

[sillypanda]

My first story was a quick little fantasy I wrote for a friend and submitted on a whim.

My second one is far more like my regular writing - detailed, character focused and LONG.

It takes place in a single evening, several hours.

I submitted it as a test draft - it's at 5 (Lit) pages before the characters even have sex, though they start fooling around on 3 or 4.

Is this too long for a single chapter?

I have future chapters planned with the same characters, but I want to set the stage properly.

I've let two friends read it and both gave good feedback, but I mean, c'mon, they're friends. The one who is familiar with Lit said of the length "the women will love you for it, but you'll probably get hate mail too." Ha.

Should I divide the first chapter, as I see it, into chapters, or let people read it as I see it - as a single first chapter in the characters' story? (My first story consisted of two characters who knew each other very well; this one is two characters who only know each other in passing.)

Any advice from you wise Lit authors would be very appreciated! Thank you and have a wonderful day everyone!

 

[R_Percival_Shackleford]

5 pages is fine. the people who just want wanking material arent going to like your story either way, and the people who want more than just wanking material have much more patience.

just make sure you are building up to the erotic elements; the slow build up and tension is generally what your target audience (women and nerds like me who have some minor concept of narrative appreciation) is looking for. if its 3 pages of life as an assistant sales manager before anything sensual/romantic/vaguely reminescent of something physically enjoyable happens, it might be too long, but otherwise 5 pages is fine.

in fact... you may want to split it into chapters so that there is nothing sexual in the first one, just hints of it in the future. Your first chapter should probably be short and eye-catching, as you have to be able to convince the reader that investment is worth their time. you can actually get away with having no sex for quite a while as long as the initial story is interesting. just start off with an authors note detailing the nature of your story, and you should be fine.

3-5 pages seems to be the standard for chapters in a longer series; ive seen some popular stories with 8-10 page chapters though. as long as its consistent; if you are going to spend 5 pages building up to the erotic parts, keep that pacing in every chapter. ideally each chapter should be a sort-of contained story, in that it at least has some kind of opening and some kind of closing, so dont just cut/paste half the story into another document: do a bit of rewriting to make each chapter more contained, like a TV show with a continuous plot; it is all one story, but it has to be told in episodes.

 

[sillypanda]

Thank you so much for the feedback! And I love the name - is the R short for Rusty by any chance?

There's definitely a build up of sexual tension from the first page - a few paragraphs of background then it's all about the characters and the situation in which they find themselves.

I may break it up into chapters - I'll see how I can do that and, as you said, maintain continuity. If not, it may just have to be a lengthier first chapter.

Thanks so much for your help - I really appreciate it!

 

[R_Percival_Shackleford]

Thank you so much for the feedback! And I love the name - is the R short for Rusty by any chance?

yep . it seemed like an appropriate pen name... and you are very welcome.