Survivor: Literotica!

[Byron In Exile]

something tells me you won't be able to walk come challenge day.

Sex after a week without a shower?

Best of luck. That's some serious dedication.

would you like to be in a triple secret alliance with my tribe? i promise not to let anyone know about it.

She'll be in your tribe, now. Her loyalties are plain.

Decisions...

 

[John Doe]

There's... no third team, man.

Now I'm confused. I thought the game was called "Survivor: Literotica! "How can there not be a third team? It's like playing Strip Uno with only seven people.

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

Somebody has to pick you to begin with, and that's not likely to happen.

I picked Pete because he knows the score, and because his welding skills will be invaluable when it comes time to build a shelter.

Quit with the sour grapes, man.

I don't want to be picked.

I will be your Jeff Probst though.

I can turn PMs on for the voting and post out the vote in dramatic fashion...

At any rate it should be a villains and good guys thread. All we need now is a captain for the Good Guys...

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

The Story So Far:

Tribe #1: Byron, Perg, Pete, Mona, Laurel

Tribe #2: Neci, Honey, Image, Dolf, ...?

We're almost half-way through picking tribes.

Probst (who is a bit of a dick) said I can't tell you anything about the first immunity challenge except that it involves a porcupine.

No, the challenges will all involve thorny current events.

The first one will be how best to reinvent the kimono to Islam...

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

~ Spalding ~



~ Eveready ~



~ Sham Wow's PJs for the messy ~ (Challenge two sponsor)

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

So... given that, where do you think you'd stand?

It's all about your ability to be reasonable... your ability to adapt to a situation that is constantly changing.

You've never displayed any such skill, here.

If you could actually manage to survive the first one or two councils, you might have a shot at the merge, then, but were you able to do that, nobody would want to sit next to you at the final two.

Because anyone with the odds so stacked against them at the outset, and then being one of the final two, would win.

And that can't happen on Survivor: Literotica! so I'm not picking you and I hope Neci doesn't, either.

I still can't believe that you're so locked into a 40-minute episodic paradigm that you're allowing only two teams.

The English should have a team of their own, the veterans, and all the part-time Libertarians; you, perg, ladyKbate...,

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

When does the third team enter play?

Great mind; perfect for another team captain.


~ Leggo my Eggo™ ~


You need at least four teams.

I will need only a few challenge designers and challenge judges.

I'm ready!

~ Verizon ~

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

Now I'm confused. I thought the game was called "Survivor: Literotica! "How can there not be a third team? It's like playing Strip Uno with only seven people.

Or three-dimensional chess with a scrabble board and some cheesily-mark squares...



~ Velveeta ~

Challenge winners in week one get PMd selected Kraft™ Groupon deals...

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

Sex after a week without a shower?

Best of luck. That's some serious dedication.

...

Ladies and gentlemen, we have Survival Lit's Johnny Cochran...






~ Taco Belle ~

 

[John Doe]

Or three-dimensional chess with a scrabble board and some cheesily-mark squares...

That's a much better simile, what with the third team/three-dimensional angle (pun intended).

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

You wanna be a challenge designer?





~ Doritos™ ~

 

[Saint Peter]

I want ~ Taco Belle ~ on my team!!

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

I want ~ Taco Belle ~ on my team!!

You may have Harvard Law, but don't rely upon his opinions...






~ Jiffy Lube ~

 

[John Doe]

You wanna be a challenge designer?





~ Doritos™ ~

I'm not entirely sure what that means, but I like the sound of it...so, yes!

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

We have to design cerebral challenges.

Q: What is Cerebral?

A: [voice=Sir Charles Barkley][tone=Frank Caliendo] When Hell's Gate guardian mauls a jogger..., it's just a Cerebral incident. [/tone][/voice]


Then we judge who got the closest and award them immunity.

Furthest, or least entertaining, goes to Tribal.

 

[Lorilei]

K, I see what you're sayin', and that was my thinking, initially.

But I'm getting the impression that Lori would rather be on the other tribe. That puts me in a spot. The last thing I want to do is bring in a mole.

So I'm thinking about other options, now.

Sex after a week without a shower?

Best of luck. That's some serious dedication.

She'll be in your tribe, now. Her loyalties are plain.

Decisions...

Nuh-uh! I was planning a super-secret triple cross spy mission. But you've ruined it now.

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

Nuh-uh! I was planning a super-secret triple cross spy mission. But you've ruined it now.

Not to worry, people only read the first post of the first page and the last three posts of the last page...

 

[MonaLittle]

Nuh-uh! I was planning a super-secret triple cross spy mission. But you've ruined it now.

*secret alliance*

 

[Saint Peter]

*secret alliance*

Ms. Mona, can you please come into my tent.










Close the flap.

 

[MonaLittle]

Ms. Mona, can you please come into my tent.










Close the flap.

o0o, I *likey*
I am up to the challenge.

 

[islandman]

o0o, I *likey*
I am up to the challenge.

Don't fall for it.

He just wants to you clean his tent.

 

[Honey123]

Jeff says no bus.

Dammit! how am I supposed to throw people under it?!?!?!

*new plan..new plan*

 

[neci]

the bus is made of hermit crabs. it can not be banned. choose your fucking people! i vote byron out! also... there should be four teams. and coffee.

 

[neci]

When does the third team enter play?

now.

Our team will never suck roryballs.

It is totally athletic and clever.

ball suckers.

There's... no third team, man.

yes there is. i sucked probst off, and he said okay.

Sex after a week without a shower?

Best of luck. That's some serious dedication.

She'll be in your tribe, now. Her loyalties are plain.

Decisions...

i never said mona was getting fucked. i just said she wouldn't be able to walk. jeez. you have a dirty mind.

Also, I had a dream about the tribal merge.

Perg and Pete were in it.

Byron has a question for Dolf after the merge:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JImcvtJzIK8

Perg: "That's not good enough!"

Byron: "I love weddings! Drinks all around!"

And then, the fire...

Byron: "Why is the rum gone?"

Dolf: "One...! Two...! One...! Two...! One, two, one, two, one, two, one, two...
"The entire Royal Navy is out...
"The entire Royal Navy is out...
"The entire Royal... the entire Royal... the entire Royal Navy is out..."

Byron: "Burn all the food and save the rum! Burn all the food and save the rum!"

Dolf: "Yes. The rum is gone."

Byron: "Why is the rum gone?"

Dolf: "The rum is gone."

Perg: "That's not good enough!"

Pete: "I'll be back."

that's it. dolf is getting voted out first. if any of your tribe has smarts, they will see where your true loyalties lie and vote you off first.

 

[Byron In Exile]

I don't want to be picked.

And I hope your wish doesn't come true, because the best thing that could happen to my tribe would be for you to be on Neci's.

I will be your Jeff Probst though.

Jeff is Jeff. You're not arrogant enough.

I can turn PMs on for the voting and post out the vote in dramatic fashion...

The voting will be done via public poll. Anyone can vote, obviously, but only the votes of surviving tribe members will be counted toward elimination.

At any rate it should be a villains and good guys thread. All we need now is a captain for the Good Guys...

This is the GB. It's Villains vs. Villains — duh.