Does anyone know how to come back after a breakup

[dreamykitten2]

[/B I feel so lost but still feel owned. Even though he said its over. While maybe its over for him. I am finding it hard to just turn off my feelings like that. How long did it take you until you were ready to give yourself in true submission again? Anyone have any comments or suggestions? Please help this is a horrible feeling. I would like some answers if anyone cares to share. He was my first. This probably has something to do with it. And I fell hard our connection was so strong.

 

[CutieMouse]

The same way you "come back" after any breakup - time.

Some breakups were difficult enough for me that I took a 6-9 month break from dating; others, while equally difficult, were best healed by trying again after a week or two.

 

[dreamykitten2]

thanks for your thoughts

I am married and yet my relationship with my Dom was very intense. Our bond was very strong. I think its going to be a long time before I'm ready to give my gift of submission again. Maybe I'm overestimating. But one can only see how it goes. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

 

[ZeroLance]

[/B I feel so lost but still feel owned. Even though he said its over. While maybe its over for him. I am finding it hard to just turn off my feelings like that. How long did it take you until you were ready to give yourself in true submission again? Anyone have any comments or suggestions? Please help this is a horrible feeling. I would like some answers if anyone cares to share. He was my first. This probably has something to do with it. And I fell hard our connection was so strong.

.... I feel that i must explain that I my self just got out of a 8 year long relationship. A small difrence is that I was in to the life and she was not. Then she walked out, completly abondoning me..... So in the two weeks hence I have found some wisdom you like me can grow from.
"The pain in lossing a love one ( or a lover in our case) is that of a plum tree, that has lost a limb to illness. This pain will only better the tree, the fruit shall be sweeter still for its pain."
Sun Tzu

 

[eastern sun]

Can you give your husband the attention you gave to your Dom?

 

[dreamykitten2]

my husband has never been ignored

As a matter of fact he is the beneficiary of all my lust. We have dead every day at least once. So I have not ignored him fat all. I love him. He is just more vanilla. I need strawberry. I hope you understand the picture more thoroughly now. Kitten

 

[dreamykitten2]

this is a very smart philosophy

.... I feel that i must explain that I my self just got out of a 8 year long relationship. A small difrence is that I was in to the life and she was not. Then she walked out, completly abondoning me..... So in the two weeks hence I have found some wisdom you like me can grow from.
"The pain in lossing a love one ( or a lover in our case) is that of a plum tree, that has lost a limb to illness. This pain will only better the tree, the fruit shall be sweeter still for its pain."
Sun Tzu

Thank you for sharing. This is one smart Guy. I will take this and run with it so to speak. I appreciate you sharing this. It does help.

 

[ZeroLance]

Thank you for sharing. This is one smart Guy. I will take this and run with it so to speak. I appreciate you sharing this. It does help.

It was a joy to help.

 

[switchbitch]

[/B I feel so lost but still feel owned. Even though he said its over. While maybe its over for him. I am finding it hard to just turn off my feelings like that. How long did it take you until you were ready to give yourself in true submission again? Anyone have any comments or suggestions? Please help this is a horrible feeling. I would like some answers if anyone cares to share. He was my first. This probably has something to do with it. And I fell hard our connection was so strong.

It was eight years until I was ready to give myself in true submission again that was because it took eight years until I found someone that I could truly wish to submit completely to.The right resonance has to be present in order for me to want to offer the gift of my submission. There was a lot of pain when the lock was removed my collar nine years ago and that pain continued for some time. Throwing myself into work, friends and family were the greatest helps for me. We all handle grief in different ways, for some of us it is to bury yourself in chocolate or dive into a round of promiscuity, some need to cry until their eyes are so red that they cannot see and some like me use work. Whatever it takes to get your endorphins and adrenalin going that's what you do.
Sending you the biggest sympathetic hug and kiss you can imagine.

 

[Loverskitten]

He was my first. This probably has something to do with it. And I fell hard our connection was so strong.

Going through the same thing. All I can say is time. Just like grieving, it takes time.
Wait, time and shoe shopping, that's what I meant and laughing helps too

*pets the kitten* it'll get better

 

[ZeroLance]

Yes sleep and joy are the souls true medacation. Wise woman, Loverskitten your a benafit to the world.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Alcohol. Music. Friends. Hit the gym to the point of exhaustion. Take care of yourself. Be suspicious of rebounds, but don't rule them out if the right person comes along. Eventually you'll realize that the magic did not evaporate with the relationship: it's in you.

 

[dreamykitten2]

Thanks to all for your support!

I know it will get better. I just needed to hear it from others. I suppose it ill take awhile. I have met some very good souls here. Thanks to all who responded. If anyone else has anything to say I will read your advice. Dreamykitten2

 

[kiwi_submissive]

I always advise my friends when they break up to listen to music that you can yell and headbang along to like AC/DC. They reckon it helps.

 

[dreamykitten2]

thanks for your suggestions

I always advise my friends when they break up to listen to music that you can yell and headbang along to like AC/DC. They reckon it helps.

Music is very therapeutic. I'm not sure about the headbanging. But ill try almost anything once. Lol

 

[StrayKat]

I cant speak about true submission, but I have experience of really nasty divorce after 16 years of marriage that almost broke me to pieces.

What helped me personally was getting busy as much as I could. With just about anything, from mundane tasks like cleaning and gardening to some grandiose projects. I did my best to occupy my day and drop dead tired to my bed every night.
Just day after day, trying to get through another one without much thinking.

After about 6 months I was finally feeling more or less fine.
But then I found myself married again

 

[dreamykitten2]

great advice

Thanks for your advice.its much appreciated. Dk

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

I think it was when I finally stopped trying to "come back" to something familiar (you know, that place I was before it all happened) that I was finally able to just be present with where I was, nestle into a harsh lesson of acceptance so that I could finally start to let go of him and reclaim my own life's momentum again. Really, without a time machine, going "back" is just not an option, and for me, even as painful as it is at times, I am grateful for that and so is my future.

My warmest comforting wishes for you as you find your way to your future that is waiting for you. In the mean time, find the music that helps you to feel your own pulse again, whatever that is. I also of course second the importance of good friends as they truly are the best map for a heart that just feels lost.

 

[dreamykitten2]

wow warm and sensitive and feeling

I feel so amazing after reading your inspiring words. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your special message with me.I am forever in your debt. Dreamykitten2

 

[ZeroLance]

As I my self heal I use music and my art. Maybe you can use art too? Just paint, draw, wright, use things that remind you of them smash them and paste the pices to a canvasbord. The last on really helped me get over what happed to me, I am a firm advocat of art therpy, and if you have pet know that they love you with out pause or gruge or bias. Be well and swift healing ^_^.

 

[dreamykitten2]

we are back together.

Thank you to all who posted. I am whole once more. We found our way back to each other. We are very happy. Thanks again for all your caring and advise. Dreamykitten2