The unexpected rewards

[Shadowsdream]

I am a believer in rewarding for good behavior. I use a similar system to de-stress my slave when he is least expecting it but needing it the most. I am the judge of this, not him.

Point in fact...last night I interrupted his studies and told him to get his ass in the bedroom. Directing him to take his laptop with him and get onto the center of the bed. I had already set pillows for his back.

I saw confusion on his face. He hesitated until I barked the order again. I could see that he was expecting a beating..what else could it be?

It was my pride in his hard work and his diligence in his tasks and responsibilities which have been and will continue to be monumental over the coming months.

This new slave was going to have another lesson in how an Owner takes care of her property. Both his physical and mental well being.

Not making the situation clear to him was a bit of a mind fuck. Fun. Entertaining for me. When he was positioned just right, to my satisfaction, I brought out the lotion that I would massage his feet with. He was stunned as this method was new to him.

Being cared for rather than taking care of.

I spent 50 minutes manipulating and massaging his feet.

In the beginning it was hard for him to continue to study from his lap top. It took almost 15 minutes before he truly understood that there would be no pain. I had to explain to him that he had no choice but to accept this treatment. Like it or not. One more step in his addiction to my unusual ways of dominating.

When he began to purr I knew that he was finally finding comfort and relaxation. His work went well the rest of the evening and a happy half smile lingered for hours.

Recognition goes a long way as do varying technic s of showing it. Tonight his reward for today's hard work will be a severe beating in the hog tie position... he needs this treatment as much as he needs my kindness.

I thrive on being in control no matter how I control.

Anyone up for a conversation on rewards whether in agreement or not?

 

[BiBunny]

You're a wise lady. Too often, people--dominant, submissive, or otherwise--forget that, at heart, we're all human and in need of attention and kindness sometimes.

 

[bhndblueyes88]

lol as a vet student, i was about to get really cranky with you for interrupting someones studying, but then I finished reading

Now I want the boy here to give ME rubs and massages while I study. not fair

 

[Jaded_One]

Not making the situation clear to him was a bit of a mind fuck. Fun. Entertaining for me. When he was positioned just right, to my satisfaction, I brought out the lotion that I would massage his feet with. He was stunned as this method was new to him.

Being cared for rather than taking care of.

I love this... combining the reward with keeping him off balance. A kind of best of both worlds.

 

[Shadowsdream]

You're a wise lady. Too often, people--dominant, submissive, or otherwise--forget that, at heart, we're all human and in need of attention and kindness sometimes.

~~smile~~ hello BiBunny and thank you for joining the conversation. I agree with you wholeheartedly. Kindness is often seen as weakness in a dominant but I have always found it to be the opposite.

 

[His_pet_slut]

I would have purred as well...and after the beating, too.

 

[Shadowsdream]

lol as a vet student, i was about to get really cranky with you for interrupting someones studying, but then I finished reading

Now I want the boy here to give ME rubs and massages while I study. not fair

~~grinning~~ @ bhndblueyes...oh oh I hope I haven't started something...hmmm or do I?

I do like your sense of humor!

Thanks for jumping in!

 

[Shadowsdream]

I love this... combining the reward with keeping him off balance. A kind of best of both worlds.

Hello Jaded_One, it is much easier than balancing my check book!

I suspect a dominant can over do the kindness as much as over doing the cruelty...balance in all things..even nipple torture!

Thank you for joining the conversation.

 

[Shadowsdream]

I would have purred as well...and after the beating, too.

ah ha His_pet_slut! Purring is so primal is it not? Sometimes I wonder if I set him up to purr just to enjoy the power of making it happen. So predictable in a very good way.

It is nice to have you join in.

 

[CutieMouse]

Initially, it was hard to let The Men™ do things like that... I've never been particularly good at being taken care of - I suspect that's one of the reasons they do it. But we've been comfortable for long enough now, that I've learned to accept it. As you said, Ma'am - they thrive on being in control. They each get something out of it... sometimes I almost suspect I see an evil twinkle in their eyes when either of them say "No, you aren't allowed to make lunch. SIT." Or "You working too hard; I've giving you a massage" because I know they see the silly little war in my head - "That sounds so lovely... wait I'm supposed to be doing that!" LOL

 

[His_pet_slut]

ah ha His_pet_slut! Purring is so primal is it not? Sometimes I wonder if I set him up to purr just to enjoy the power of making it happen. So predictable in a very good way.

It is nice to have you join in.

Primal, I had not thought of it that way. Quite accurate, though.

 

[firenzi]

Kindness is often seen as weakness in a dominant but I have always found it to be the opposite.

A million times this. And those moments of genuine kindness are so appreciated and intensely erotic. I agree with BiBunny, you are a wise lady and your slave is a lucky man.

 

[Shadowsdream]

Initially, it was hard to let The Men™ do things like that... I've never been particularly good at being taken care of - I suspect that's one of the reasons they do it. But we've been comfortable for long enough now, that I've learned to accept it. As you said, Ma'am - they thrive on being in control. They each get something out of it... sometimes I almost suspect I see an evil twinkle in their eyes when either of them say "No, you aren't allowed to make lunch. SIT." Or "You working too hard; I've giving you a massage" because I know they see the silly little war in my head - "That sounds so lovely... wait I'm supposed to be doing that!" LOL

Hello CutieMouse! Exactly! I have discovered over the years that it is often essential to give the special attention with an instruction...no choice..you will accept my decision..like it or not. A guilt reliever before the brain is even allowed to go there. In reality for me as well as 'The Men' there is a real joy in making these decisions..and honestly, sometimes it id far more pleasurable to give than receive. Especially if it comes as a mind fuck ~~grin~~

Thank you so much for explaining how it works in your world.

 

[Shadowsdream]

Primal, I had not thought of it that way. Quite accurate, though.

When you are brought to the state of purring His_pet_slut have you found the sounds and emotions to have a life of their own?

 

[Shadowsdream]

A million times this. And those moments of genuine kindness are so appreciated and intensely erotic. I agree with BiBunny, you are a wise lady and your slave is a lucky man.

Welcome to the conversation firenzi and thank you for the comments ~~smile~~.

Erotic! I so agree, a special kind of intimacy, unexpected but authentic appreciation for just being you and doing a good job or being well behaved or...

 

[ouchfeelsgood]

I had a memorable relationship a number of years ago with a very unusual woman who was quite adept at alternating between sensual, loving attention to my body ... and mind-blowing sadism, constantly pushing my limits. She had an extraordinary way of taking one's body and mind through a roller-coaster of emotions. Her method was very effective in allowing me to reach the boundaries (and beyond) of physical and mental endurance.

 

[switchbitch]

~~smile~~ hello BiBunny and thank you for joining the conversation. I agree with you wholeheartedly. Kindness is often seen as weakness in a dominant but I have always found it to be the opposite.

I so agree with you. In fact I often find that sweet treatment can be much harder for my submissives to take than pain. and I often find that my voice and attitude changesto balance the situation. Soft voiced and caring while I am delivering corporal or torture, and quite stern when I am delivering pleasure.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

I am a believer in rewarding for good behavior. I use a similar system to de-stress my slave when he is least expecting it but needing it the most. I am the judge of this, not him.

Point in fact...last night I interrupted his studies and told him to get his ass in the bedroom. Directing him to take his laptop with him and get onto the center of the bed. I had already set pillows for his back.

I saw confusion on his face. He hesitated until I barked the order again. I could see that he was expecting a beating..what else could it be?

It was my pride in his hard work and his diligence in his tasks and responsibilities which have been and will continue to be monumental over the coming months.

This new slave was going to have another lesson in how an Owner takes care of her property. Both his physical and mental well being.

Not making the situation clear to him was a bit of a mind fuck. Fun. Entertaining for me. When he was positioned just right, to my satisfaction, I brought out the lotion that I would massage his feet with. He was stunned as this method was new to him.

Being cared for rather than taking care of.

I spent 50 minutes manipulating and massaging his feet.

In the beginning it was hard for him to continue to study from his lap top. It took almost 15 minutes before he truly understood that there would be no pain. I had to explain to him that he had no choice but to accept this treatment. Like it or not. One more step in his addiction to my unusual ways of dominating.

When he began to purr I knew that he was finally finding comfort and relaxation. His work went well the rest of the evening and a happy half smile lingered for hours.

Recognition goes a long way as do varying technic s of showing it. Tonight his reward for today's hard work will be a severe beating in the hog tie position... he needs this treatment as much as he needs my kindness.

I thrive on being in control no matter how I control.

Anyone up for a conversation on rewards whether in agreement or not?

Recognition and acknowledgement are important to me. Those are the things that make me feel most appreciated.

Rewards are always nice, but not always needed. I tend to prefer them as surprises and treats because he loves me, rather than as a reward for serving well. My reward for serving well is that appreciation. And it doesn't have to be much. A smile, a thank you, a gentle touch, a kiss.

 

[bhndblueyes88]

I so agree with you. In fact I often find that sweet treatment can be much harder for my submissives to take than pain. and I often find that my voice and attitude changesto balance the situation. Soft voiced and caring while I am delivering corporal or torture, and quite stern when I am delivering pleasure.

lol, I have to agree with you. There are any number of things that will make me squirm, but if you want to make me REALLY uncomfortable...

Start complimenting me. with honesty. About things I can't refute. good lord that makes me so uncomfortable -_-

 

[The_Wooden_Stik]

Thank you for posting this as it is a real eye-opener for me.

My wife and I are exploring Dom/sub these days with me as the Dom. This is not "natural" for me so I am tying to learn all I can. Pain, pleasure, pleasure from pain and now pleasure from NOT pain... So much to learn, for both of us.

I am new here on the boards of Lit. Ive been reading and trying to understand what BDSM is about and what it can bring to our relationship, to fulfil her need to be a sub.

Thank you.

 

[His_pet_slut]

When you are brought to the state of purring His_pet_slut have you found the sounds and emotions to have a life of their own?

Yes Ma'am, it truly does seem they do. It sometimes seems as if they do not just originate vocally, but from a vibration deep within. I cannot adequately describe it, but it is beyond mere contentment or sexual arousal. Afterwards, it is often a somewhat cathartic feeling. Similar to when you have had a good cry due to overwhelming stress and afterwards feel lighter.

 

[Kajira Callista]

I am a believer in rewarding for good behavior. I use a similar system to de-stress my slave when he is least expecting it but needing it the most. I am the judge of this, not him.

Point in fact...last night I interrupted his studies and told him to get his ass in the bedroom. Directing him to take his laptop with him and get onto the center of the bed. I had already set pillows for his back.

I saw confusion on his face. He hesitated until I barked the order again. I could see that he was expecting a beating..what else could it be?

It was my pride in his hard work and his diligence in his tasks and responsibilities which have been and will continue to be monumental over the coming months.

This new slave was going to have another lesson in how an Owner takes care of her property. Both his physical and mental well being.

Not making the situation clear to him was a bit of a mind fuck. Fun. Entertaining for me. When he was positioned just right, to my satisfaction, I brought out the lotion that I would massage his feet with. He was stunned as this method was new to him.

Being cared for rather than taking care of.

I spent 50 minutes manipulating and massaging his feet.

In the beginning it was hard for him to continue to study from his lap top. It took almost 15 minutes before he truly understood that there would be no pain. I had to explain to him that he had no choice but to accept this treatment. Like it or not. One more step in his addiction to my unusual ways of dominating.

When he began to purr I knew that he was finally finding comfort and relaxation. His work went well the rest of the evening and a happy half smile lingered for hours.

Recognition goes a long way as do varying technic s of showing it. Tonight his reward for today's hard work will be a severe beating in the hog tie position... he needs this treatment as much as he needs my kindness.

I thrive on being in control no matter how I control.

Anyone up for a conversation on rewards whether in agreement or not?

My Daddies take good care of me in all ways in my life. It feels odd sometimes because Im not used to someone actually "liking" me enough to know that all I need is a time out or a kiss or a sharp smack in the ass. It desnt matter what it is, they are all ways of showing me I am cared for.


BTW, I think I'm in love with Mistress M

 

[intothewoods]

Honestly, this is exactly how I love it -- I want to know my PYL is in charge, and I want to feel challenged to keep him satisfied. But every once in a while I want to feel appreciated in some way -- with orgasms, my favorite bottle of wine, a chance to nap ...

 

[YourCaptor]

I am a believer in rewarding for good behavior. I use a similar system to de-stress my slave when he is least expecting it but needing it the most. I am the judge of this, not him.

Point in fact...last night I interrupted his studies and told him to get his ass in the bedroom. Directing him to take his laptop with him and get onto the center of the bed. I had already set pillows for his back.

I saw confusion on his face. He hesitated until I barked the order again. I could see that he was expecting a beating..what else could it be?

It was my pride in his hard work and his diligence in his tasks and responsibilities which have been and will continue to be monumental over the coming months.

This new slave was going to have another lesson in how an Owner takes care of her property. Both his physical and mental well being.

Not making the situation clear to him was a bit of a mind fuck. Fun. Entertaining for me. When he was positioned just right, to my satisfaction, I brought out the lotion that I would massage his feet with. He was stunned as this method was new to him.

Being cared for rather than taking care of.

I spent 50 minutes manipulating and massaging his feet.

In the beginning it was hard for him to continue to study from his lap top. It took almost 15 minutes before he truly understood that there would be no pain. I had to explain to him that he had no choice but to accept this treatment. Like it or not. One more step in his addiction to my unusual ways of dominating.

When he began to purr I knew that he was finally finding comfort and relaxation. His work went well the rest of the evening and a happy half smile lingered for hours.

Recognition goes a long way as do varying technic s of showing it. Tonight his reward for today's hard work will be a severe beating in the hog tie position... he needs this treatment as much as he needs my kindness.

I thrive on being in control no matter how I control.

Anyone up for a conversation on rewards whether in agreement or not?

Kiss Kick

 

[Bandit58]

A few years ago, I broke my toe. I could barely hobble for a few days and my foot was black and blue (and several other colours as well ).

Sir and I had only been together for a couple of years at the time, and it was really difficult for me to let Him take care of me for a change. It just felt so wrong somehow. In the end He had to order me to stay on the lounge with my foot up unless it was something really important like Him having a hypo or something!

I have gotten better over the years though at accepting that He does like to do things for me like make me a coffee or go out to buy dinner instead of me having to cook, especially if I've had a shit day. Being accepted and appreciated, after so many years with my ex idiot husband who didn't appreciate me at all, has been an eye opener.