. . . and you thought the last fatwah was silly!

[voluptuary_manque]

http://www.globalpost.com/dispatche...web/muslim-cleric-bans-women-touching-bananas


What I like most was the outrage among Moslems.

 

[Safe_Bet]

http://www.globalpost.com/dispatche...web/muslim-cleric-bans-women-touching-bananas


What I like most was the outrage among Moslems.

Hey, Bear! Can you cut this banana up for me so I'm not tempted to got jump on some random dude's cock someplace?

Oh, wait... Never mind! I'm already a promiscuous, homosexual because I drive a car.

Whew! Boy am I relieved!



(BTW, Merry Xmas in case I do talk at you before hand)

 

[3113]

Hey, Bear! Can you cut this banana up for me so I'm not tempted to got jump on some random dude's cock someplace?

Oh, wait... Never mind! I'm already a promiscuous, homosexual because I drive a car.

Yeah, we've got to get those peaches and figs out of your hands

 

[Safe_Bet]

Yeah, we've got to get those peaches and figs out of your hands

Don't forget the Kiwi Fruit in case I feel like going "down under"!

 

[oggbashan]

Almost anyone can claim to be a Muslim 'cleric'. They don't usually admit to being an idiot as well, but some self-appointed clerics, of Muslim and other religions, demonstrate idiocy whenever they open their mouths.

My alt jeanne_d_artois is an officially ordained minister of a church based in California (where else?).

So jeanne could issue a fatwa that could be as valid as this cleric's one.

Any suggestions?

I'll pass them on to her holiness.

 

[Handley_Page]

Almost anyone can claim to be a Muslim 'cleric'. They don't usually admit to being an idiot as well, but some self-appointed clerics, of Muslim and other religions, demonstrate idiocy whenever they open their mouths.

My alt jeanne_d_artois is an officially ordained minister of a church based in California (where else?).

So jeanne could issue a fatwa that could be as valid as this cleric's one.

Any suggestions?

I'll pass them on to her holiness.

Ban walking sticks.

 

[oggbashan]

Ban walking sticks.

Do you mean the walking sticks elderly people use because of disabilities, or the walking poles used to appear athletic when strolling in the countryside, or both?

I would suggest:

Banning cyclists who do not have third-party insurance, and making that insurance invalid if they do not have, and use, lights on the cycles, and/or

Ban all pavement buggies unless the rider has passed a driving test, has had their eyesight tested, and has third party insurance..

 

[Tricialen]

Hummm and all this pear juice dripping over my breasts would get me what???? Licked here but killed there....


Those men are just so afraid of woman that they have to ban them....so sad...

 

[Handley_Page]

Do you mean the walking sticks elderly people use because of disabilities, or the walking poles used to appear athletic when strolling in the countryside, or both?

I would suggest:

Banning cyclists who do not have third-party insurance, and making that insurance invalid if they do not have, and use, lights on the cycles, and/or

Ban all pavement buggies unless the rider has passed a driving test, has had their eyesight tested, and has third party insurance..

The walking poles. They look silly away from a Piste . . . . .

 

[voluptuary_manque]

How about those walking sticks boulevardiers use in place of concealed handguns? I think single stick fighting should be revived and taught in the schools.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Hummm and all this pear juice dripping over my breasts would get me what???? Licked here but killed there....


Those men are just so afraid of woman that they have to ban them....so sad...

Tricia, you would not need pear juice, or anything else to get yourself licked - all over.

 

[Feotakahari]

Following up on Oggbashan's comment, this may be a hoax--at least, nobody's confirmed it.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Following up on Oggbashan's comment, this may be a hoax--at least, nobody's confirmed it.

Well, that's almost a given. I mean, what kind of cleric, allegedly living in London, could actually believe that sort of thing. But you have to admit it was funny.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Well, that's almost a given. I mean, what kind of cleric, allegedly living in London, could actually believe that sort of thing. But you have to admit it was funny.

Some of the things clerics say are pretty ridiculous, and that is not limited to Muslims. I don't know if this is true or not but, when I was a child, I understand little girls were warned not to wear patent leather shoes, because men and boys could look at them and see a reflection of under their dresses.

 

[Handley_Page]

How about those walking sticks boulevardiers use in place of concealed handguns? I think single stick fighting should be revived and taught in the schools.

You mean like the English "Quarter-staff" or the Japanese 'Bo' (sorry, CLoudy if I got that wrong) ?
I agree

Although, occasionally, I wonder if the full text of these comedy scripts is properly reported. Perhaps someone should teach them proper English ?

 

[voluptuary_manque]

You mean like the English "Quarter-staff" or the Japanese 'Bo' (sorry, CLoudy if I got that wrong) ?
I agree

No, those two are large and heavy. If you're carrying one, your hands are pretty occupied and you look like you're looking for trouble. But if you slip one of these under your arm as you stroll down the avenue, no one will suspect just how much trouble you can be!

 

[Handley_Page]

No, those two are large and heavy. If you're carrying one, your hands are pretty occupied and you look like you're looking for trouble. But if you slip one of these under your arm as you stroll down the avenue, no one will suspect just how much trouble you can be!

True, but as an apparel accessory, it sticks out like a sore thumb [ groan ].

But one of these, Hazel or Ash to your pleasure ?
http://www.walkingsticksonline.co.uk/new/walking_sticks/11a_11b_crook_walking_stick.php

 

[oggbashan]

I have several walking canes. One is fitted with a container for a double Scotch (or Whiskey), another with a telescope, and two hazel ones.

I used to have one that screwed together in sections. That was made of steel but eventually the threads rusted.

One of my uncles had a cane with a sword stick. His son now has it, as an ornament.

When I was in the Boy Scouts we were taught how to practise quarterstaff with our Scout poles.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

True, but as an apparel accessory, it sticks out like a sore thumb [ groan ].

Well, the City Stick is a bit urban, I'll admit. For strolls about the countryside or in the suburbs a fine blackthorn is more appropriate and just as effective.

 

[TE999]

I detect the fine hand of 'The Onion', albeit incognito, as the source of this article.

If it isn't, they need to hire whomever did write it immediately.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

I detect the fine hand of 'The Onion', albeit incognito, as the source of this article.

If it isn't, they need to hire whomever did write it immediately.

Yanno, I was thinking along the same lines, meself . . .

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Aha! Suspicions probably confirmed! At least in a way . . .