Distance Domination-Support Thread

[KoPilot]

I see him in 30 days exactly... and off to the county clerk's office we go in 38! asdfkh

Hope everyone else is doing well.

 

[seela]

I'm currently back on the LDR wagon, and this time around the experience has been very different than before. We were LDR for a long time before, but J and I finally moved in together last May, and after the initial adjustment, it was a true bliss. When I moved to do an obligatory university thing abroad for fiveish months in the end of September, I wasn't all that worried, because we had done LDR before and it had been good. Boy, was I wrong!

We've managed to IM pretty much daily, but we found out quickly that it feels strange to only talk on IM or text during the day and not see the other person's expressions or hear their voice. Our communication has pretty much disappeared during these few months. I mean, we talk online, but nothing really gets said, if you know what I mean. I was really afraid for our relationship for a while there, well, actually for the whole 2 months that have gone by.

J was finally here for the past week and things were as good as they always were, but I'm still a little weirded out by the utter lack of communication or connection between us online. I'm hoping things might get easier now that I have internet at my apartment and we can Skype instead of doing just text.

But it's only 3 weeks until Christmas break, which I'll be spending in Finland. After it it's only a month and some until I go back home for good. We'll be alright. I just wish we could be alright and doing this LDR thing as well as we used to a year ago.

I guess I just wanted to update. I hope everyone's doing well, and yay for KoPilot's diminishing days of single-ness!

 

[ecstaticsub]

I see him in 30 days exactly... and off to the county clerk's office we go in 38! asdfkh

Hope everyone else is doing well.

So excited for you!!

 

[ecstaticsub]

I'm currently back on the LDR wagon, and this time around the experience has been very different than before. We were LDR for a long time before, but J and I finally moved in together last May, and after the initial adjustment, it was a true bliss. When I moved to do an obligatory university thing abroad for fiveish months in the end of September, I wasn't all that worried, because we had done LDR before and it had been good. Boy, was I wrong!

We've managed to IM pretty much daily, but we found out quickly that it feels strange to only talk on IM or text during the day and not see the other person's expressions or hear their voice. Our communication has pretty much disappeared during these few months. I mean, we talk online, but nothing really gets said, if you know what I mean. I was really afraid for our relationship for a while there, well, actually for the whole 2 months that have gone by.

J was finally here for the past week and things were as good as they always were, but I'm still a little weirded out by the utter lack of communication or connection between us online. I'm hoping things might get easier now that I have internet at my apartment and we can Skype instead of doing just text.

But it's only 3 weeks until Christmas break, which I'll be spending in Finland. After it it's only a month and some until I go back home for good. We'll be alright. I just wish we could be alright and doing this LDR thing as well as we used to a year ago.

I guess I just wanted to update. I hope everyone's doing well, and yay for KoPilot's diminishing days of single-ness!

I understand this completely. After I was married for about 2 years my husband left for military training. We were only able to talk for 15 min once a week for 12 weeks. I would look forward to those 15 minutes and then when it would happen I would feel like we were two strangers talking to each other. It was weird.

Over the next 20 years we would end up being separated numerous times for sometimes as long as 7 months. We got much better at it to where it was actually sort of nice to communicate in a different way then usual.

Maybe it is difficult for you because you know it is only temporary? Or that you have expectations for it to feel like it does in person. It can't. Nothing can be as awesome as being in each other's arms. (of course)

At least you have a date when you will be back together. I know it can be hard to be patient but I wish you luck with it anyway.

Thanks for the update!

 

[bhndblueyes88]

I'm currently back on the LDR wagon, and this time around the experience has been very different than before. We were LDR for a long time before, but J and I finally moved in together last May, and after the initial adjustment, it was a true bliss. When I moved to do an obligatory university thing abroad for fiveish months in the end of September, I wasn't all that worried, because we had done LDR before and it had been good. Boy, was I wrong!

We've managed to IM pretty much daily, but we found out quickly that it feels strange to only talk on IM or text during the day and not see the other person's expressions or hear their voice. Our communication has pretty much disappeared during these few months. I mean, we talk online, but nothing really gets said, if you know what I mean. I was really afraid for our relationship for a while there, well, actually for the whole 2 months that have gone by.

J was finally here for the past week and things were as good as they always were, but I'm still a little weirded out by the utter lack of communication or connection between us online. I'm hoping things might get easier now that I have internet at my apartment and we can Skype instead of doing just text.

But it's only 3 weeks until Christmas break, which I'll be spending in Finland. After it it's only a month and some until I go back home for good. We'll be alright. I just wish we could be alright and doing this LDR thing as well as we used to a year ago.

I guess I just wanted to update. I hope everyone's doing well, and yay for KoPilot's diminishing days of single-ness!

seela, I totally sympathize with you. I have this struggle all the time. I just kind of ignore it and know it won't matter when I see him again

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

I know the feeling too, seela.

Our phone conversations always seem stilted, like, awkward even. Which contrasts massively with the comfortable silence when we're together.

But, it's worth it to hear his voice.

 

[seela]

Thanks for chiming in, everyone!

I was pretty sure, that other people had experienced this as well. For me this is new. Things used to be so smooth before, even if we started off our relationship living in the same city and the LDR came later on. But this time around the communication's just been really hard.

But it isn't much longer until I go back home for good!

And Lizzie, I've probably missed something during my University ordered Lit hiatus, but you and Mister aren't going to be in a LDR much longer either? I picked it up on some other thread. If so, congrats!

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Thanks for chiming in, everyone!

I was pretty sure, that other people had experienced this as well. For me this is new. Things used to be so smooth before, even if we started off our relationship living in the same city and the LDR came later on. But this time around the communication's just been really hard.

But it isn't much longer until I go back home for good!

And Lizzie, I've probably missed something during my University ordered Lit hiatus, but you and Mister aren't going to be in a LDR much longer either? I picked it up on some other thread. If so, congrats!

Thanks, but not quite If anything, it'll get worse.

 

[jadedgirl]

so how does one go about finding an online relationship such as this? I am curious mostly... new to the whole idea and really am not looking for an overbearing teacher, but more of the "taken in hand" approach. I want to be guided, pushed, lead to a destination that takes me places I have never ventured before, and with someone that has experience and a kind, but firm demeanor.

Where do one go to find such a thing?

 

[bhndblueyes88]

so how does one go about finding an online relationship such as this? I am curious mostly... new to the whole idea and really am not looking for an overbearing teacher, but more of the "taken in hand" approach. I want to be guided, pushed, lead to a destination that takes me places I have never ventured before, and with someone that has experience and a kind, but firm demeanor.

Where do one go to find such a thing?

if one is going to actually go looking for an online bdsm-type relationship, I've seen a lot of people recommend fetlife. I have no personal recommendations for you. My relationship fell in my lap.

 

[DanFS]

Hello, jadedgirl,

Firstly, welcome to Literotica.

Secondly, feel free to send me a PM. I may be able to help you.

Regards,
Dan
x

so how does one go about finding an online relationship such as this? I am curious mostly... new to the whole idea and really am not looking for an overbearing teacher, but more of the "taken in hand" approach. I want to be guided, pushed, lead to a destination that takes me places I have never ventured before, and with someone that has experience and a kind, but firm demeanor.

Where do one go to find such a thing?

 

[seela]

so how does one go about finding an online relationship such as this? I am curious mostly... new to the whole idea and really am not looking for an overbearing teacher, but more of the "taken in hand" approach. I want to be guided, pushed, lead to a destination that takes me places I have never ventured before, and with someone that has experience and a kind, but firm demeanor.

Where do one go to find such a thing?

My suggestion would be to join the conversations on the board, get to know people and let people get to know you. Fetlife, as suggested before, or Lit can be a wonderful place to look for a PYL, or a pyl for that matter, because here you can see, how they interact with other people and that can tell you a lot about their personality. (PYL [pick your label] = the Top/Dom(me)/Master etc. types, pyl = bottom/submissive/slave etc. types.)

There's also a Personals section on Lit, you might want to try that.

Welcome aboard!

 

[naughty4Daddy]

so how does one go about finding an online relationship such as this? I am curious mostly... new to the whole idea and really am not looking for an overbearing teacher, but more of the "taken in hand" approach. I want to be guided, pushed, lead to a destination that takes me places I have never ventured before, and with someone that has experience and a kind, but firm demeanor.

Where do one go to find such a thing?

Hey jadedgirl -

My experience is that it's not likely for you to succeed the first time you try out an online relationship. It's good that you know what you want, and make sure you spell it out in a personal ad if you're going for it, but that doesn't mean other people will always respect your wishes. Make sure you stick to your ground rules and don't get led down an abusive relationship, because ldr can lead to very very bad doms who intentionally manipulate the distance to make you feel even more vulnerable and needy for their attention. But I think in general it is quite possible to find and develop a meaningful relationship with someone you trust and with someone who is willing to guide you without being too controlling and heavy-handed. I met my daddy on the lit forum too, and I think he's wonderful - smiles happily. Good luck and protect yourself~

 

[jadedgirl]

Thank you for the responses! Very welcoming and thought provoking. I want to take it slow and really invest some time getting to know the person before committing to a ldr. I've read some of the horror stories and want a positive experience, so will be doing my research first! Thanks for the suggestions!

 

[ecstaticsub]

Thank you for the responses! Very welcoming and thought provoking. I want to take it slow and really invest some time getting to know the person before committing to a ldr. I've read some of the horror stories and want a positive experience, so will be doing my research first! Thanks for the suggestions!

Welcome to the DDS thread.

I'm just curious, why would you specifically look for a long distance relationship? As someone who has been in one for 6.5 yrs I wouldn't wish the distance on my worst enemy. My relationship is amazing, but the distance really sucks.

We are now about a 5 hr car ride away from each other so it's not too bad but it's not like being just a couple of towns over, either. I would say almost all...like 95%..of our relationship issues have been because of the distance.

If you, for personal reasons, need to keep it on-line then fine, I get that. But you never know how something is going to work out at the beginning. Try to find someone who lives close by.

I know it may not work out that way but to start out looking for long distance seems to me like just looking for heart break.


Or maybe I am just really missing Daddy right now

 

[the captians wench]

Welcome to the DDS thread.

I'm just curious, why would you specifically look for a long distance relationship? As someone who has been in one for 6.5 yrs I wouldn't wish the distance on my worst enemy. My relationship is amazing, but the distance really sucks.

We are now about a 5 hr car ride away from each other so it's not too bad but it's not like being just a couple of towns over, either. I would say almost all...like 95%..of our relationship issues have been because of the distance.

If you, for personal reasons, need to keep it on-line then fine, I get that. But you never know how something is going to work out at the beginning. Try to find someone who lives close by.

I know it may not work out that way but to start out looking for long distance seems to me like just looking for heart break.


Or maybe I am just really missing Daddy right now

You mirror my feelings exactly ES. I'm wondering if mine isn't holiday blues. It's misserable being alone this time of year. Hell being with some one doesn't hold the pleasure it once did as it's not him.

but then, I'm feeling very lonesome at the moment.

 

[wicked woman]

Welcome to the DDS thread.

I'm just curious, why would you specifically look for a long distance relationship? As someone who has been in one for 6.5 yrs I wouldn't wish the distance on my worst enemy. My relationship is amazing, but the distance really sucks.

We are now about a 5 hr car ride away from each other so it's not too bad but it's not like being just a couple of towns over, either. I would say almost all...like 95%..of our relationship issues have been because of the distance.

If you, for personal reasons, need to keep it on-line then fine, I get that. But you never know how something is going to work out at the beginning. Try to find someone who lives close by.

I know it may not work out that way but to start out looking for long distance seems to me like just looking for heart break.


Or maybe I am just really missing Daddy right now

This was what I was going to say. I don't think most of the people on this thread purposely went looking for a LDR. I've been in more than one and I wouldn't pick a LDR if I could get the same thing locally.

Unless you need to keep it online only, I wouldn't suggest you purposely go looking for a LDR.

 

[jadedgirl]

For me it's a little different. I am not looking for a relationship that turns into a real-life relationship. I am a married woman who wants to build a connection with someone online, someone who can understand me on a level that my husband does not. I don't seek to find a life partner, I already have that. However, I do seek to find someone other that is seeking what I have to offer, and in the manner that I am able to offer it. I am very upfront when speaking to someone that I am married and do explain exactly what I am seeking (or to the best of my ability, as it is often hard to find the words) therefore giving them full opportunity to decline my intentions.

When I say I do not seek a life partner, I basically mean that I do not seek to replace my husband. I would like, however, to find that special someone online that gets what I am after and we both take the time to mature such a connection.

I know this may not seem like the best situation to some, but I do believe it will be the best situation for me. I have given it a lot of thought and now just seek to find the right person to make it happen. Fingers crossed!

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

For me it's a little different. I am not looking for a relationship that turns into a real-life relationship. I am a married woman who wants to build a connection with someone online, someone who can understand me on a level that my husband does not. I don't seek to find a life partner, I already have that. However, I do seek to find someone other that is seeking what I have to offer, and in the manner that I am able to offer it. I am very upfront when speaking to someone that I am married and do explain exactly what I am seeking (or to the best of my ability, as it is often hard to find the words) therefore giving them full opportunity to decline my intentions.

When I say I do not seek a life partner, I basically mean that I do not seek to replace my husband. I would like, however, to find that special someone online that gets what I am after and we both take the time to mature such a connection.

I know this may not seem like the best situation to some, but I do believe it will be the best situation for me. I have given it a lot of thought and now just seek to find the right person to make it happen. Fingers crossed!

To me, you're looking for an online relatonship, rather than an LDR. I view LDR as a real life relationship done at distance, where people actually talk, and visit with each other when they can.

Online only is what you're looking for, and you can have that with someone who lives down the street and not even know it.

 

[jadedgirl]

To me, you're looking for an online relatonship, rather than an LDR. I view LDR as a real life relationship done at distance, where people actually talk, and visit with each other when they can.

Online only is what you're looking for, and you can have that with someone who lives down the street and not even know it.

You have phrased this well. Perhaps you are right. I had not seen the two as so different, but I do see how they are now. Thank you.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

You have phrased this well. Perhaps you are right. I had not seen the two as so different, but I do see how they are now. Thank you.

Sorry, I didn't mean to sound snarky about it or anything. I do hope you find what you're looking for, I just agree with the others that if you deliberately seek out LDR, you're a bit nuts.

I loathe my partner being away, yet on the other hand, I'm ok with it. I support his need to work away from home, and I know when he's coming home, and I'm in the routine. I just still hate his being away and would prefer he was here at home with me.

And I know others go much longer between visits with their loved ones, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

 

[ecstaticsub]

For me it's a little different. I am not looking for a relationship that turns into a real-life relationship. I am a married woman who wants to build a connection with someone online, someone who can understand me on a level that my husband does not. I don't seek to find a life partner, I already have that. However, I do seek to find someone other that is seeking what I have to offer, and in the manner that I am able to offer it. I am very upfront when speaking to someone that I am married and do explain exactly what I am seeking (or to the best of my ability, as it is often hard to find the words) therefore giving them full opportunity to decline my intentions.

When I say I do not seek a life partner, I basically mean that I do not seek to replace my husband. I would like, however, to find that special someone online that gets what I am after and we both take the time to mature such a connection.

I know this may not seem like the best situation to some, but I do believe it will be the best situation for me. I have given it a lot of thought and now just seek to find the right person to make it happen. Fingers crossed!

I completely understand. I am married, but not to my dominant .

Seven years ago I went online to occupy myself while my husband was deployed. (with his knowledge, the site I went to was actually by his suggestion) My dominant was one of the first people I chatted with in a discussion group. A few months later we were having phone sex and a few months after that I was his submissive. I wasn't looking for any kind of relationship, much less a D/s relationship, when I first started on that forum. I was just a little lonely and horny. Fast forward to now...I am still with him, we are in love and still long distance. I am also still very happily married to my husband.

I wasn't looking for a relationship, I wasn't looking for anything more then interesting conversation. I certainly wasn't looking to fall in love. But it happened.

All I am trying to say is sometimes emotions happen and we can't always control them. On one hand being long distance when you unexpectedly fall in love is a good thing. It helps keep your focus on the marriage and family. But being far away from someone you love is never easy, even if it is a forbidden love.

You may be going into this just planning to have a bit of fun, but submission for some can get very emotional.

Just a word of warning to proceed with caution. Protect your heart, I know from experience.

 

[the captians wench]

Yes, yes I did just ring your mobile and hung up after the message just so I could hear your voice.

It didn't have that twinkle like it does when you chat with me, but it helped, it helped a lot.

 

[Lilac_Sky]

so how does one go about finding an online relationship such as this? I am curious mostly... new to the whole idea and really am not looking for an overbearing teacher, but more of the "taken in hand" approach. I want to be guided, pushed, lead to a destination that takes me places I have never ventured before, and with someone that has experience and a kind, but firm demeanor.

Where do one go to find such a thing?

You have gotten a lot of good suggestions here. I met Mistress here at lit..... neither of us was "looking" for the other ... but we started posting together, then started messaging, then grew closer and are now anticipating being together permanently. So we moved from online-only to LDR and are now looking to make it RL permanently. I would say that often the best bet is to put yourself out there to meet people and learn and just make friends online. And if something "clicks" then great!

 

[LisbethElliot]

I know our relationship will never be anything more than long-distance. I do hope to meet with him someday, though, if only once. I want to know the reality of the things we talk about. I want to know what it is for him to do to me the things he makes me do now. I love rope bondage, especially my breasts. But sometimes I get so frustrated because I just cannot get the rope really tight. My Master assures me if he were tying those ropes, they would be TIGHT. For now, I can only dream....