Gender Roles

[CandiCame]

Being in a gay relationship shoots them in the foot.

I had an amazing experience last night- and it made me think of our society's pre-conceived gender roles, and how they can go fuck themselves.

Here's how it went down. I needed to smoke- I had had a really bad day, a really bad day where I watched a bunch of my friends do coke and managed to turn it down and power through it. So I wanted to go buy some pot, to help me calm down. I couldn't go through my regular chicky because we have a past and she always fucks me over now, so I went through this guy I met at work. I got down there, and he shorted me by a half- which is a pretty good amount.

I came back and Bill was at the house, pissed that Jamie had let folk do coke there knowing I was clean. They were already fighting. He was pissed. I walked in on it- and sat down to roll a joint. Bill was like, "I thought you went to get an oz."

I was like, "Yeah... I think he shorted me." then I weighed it- minus the J I rolled. It was 14 grams. I sighed.

"Well," he was still pissed, "Go back."

Me: I don't have the gas... and I don't want any trouble with this guy. He's twice my size and I just won't buy off him anymore.

Him: You can't randomly waste $90, Vin! I am so sick of your fucking incompetence- you're going to learn how to manage money- you're going to learn how to FUCKING run your life. Go get in the car!

Me: I work with him, I can't really-

Him: GO GET IN THE FUCKING CAR!

So I went downstairs and got in the fucking car. I heard him scream at Jamie that they weren't done and he would be back. So I drive over to the guys house, and on the way I call him, and I'm like, "So... my boyfriend weighed it out and says that it's a half."

He's like, "Your boyfriend? You're a fag?"

Me: That's not the point. The point is, he's pissed about it. Come outside and talk to us.

Him: Well, there was a drought and-

Bill: Give me the FUCKING PHONE.

I sighed and handed him the phone.

Bill: I don't mean to sound harsh, but you need to come out here and speak to me. I've had a bad day, and I don't need anyone FUCKING WITH MY MAN right now.

For those of you who have heard me talk about him- that was a huge deal. He's never called me his man before- he likes to pretend that I'm a chick most of the time. I knew that I should be reprimanding him, for screaming, for projecting anger, for douchebagging up the situation- but I couldn't. There was some part of me that swelled with this, "he's protecting me" thought pattern.

So he comes outside. And gets in the car on my side in the back, and leaves the door open. And he starts explaining, "So there was a drought and *blah blah blah blah*"

And I'm like, "There are cops- literally- RIGHT THERE. If you're gonna scream about this, close the fucking door,"

So he pulls it together, but doesn't close it, and continues. Bill cut him off.

"That's great. You said this was an oz. We measures it. You lied to my boyfriend. I don't care why. I want his money back, or I want the other half."

The guy threw his hands up, and held out the money. "That's cool," he explained, "But we smoked 2 js before he left, so... is it cool if I keep like, $20 to make up for that loss?"

"No," Bill explained, "He had to spend the $20 in gas getting us back up here tonight." Then he took the money and threw the bag at him, "Get the fuck out of my car."

He counted it, then, the most pissed I've ever seen him, turned to me, "That shit took the money out. Wait here a second and don't shoot anyone."

Like I was the one being crazy.

And he opened the door. Before he was even on his feet I heard the guy saying, "Oh shit- yeah- here's your mon-"

And Bill had grabbed him and slammed him against the side of the car. I've never seen him be violent- ever. But I knew he was strong- he's picked me up by the throat like that to fuck me before. I couldn't do anything but watch. I heard him talking as the guy's friend came around, presumably to take him from behind.

He turned, still holding the guy, "Think real fucking hard about it!" he advised, "Think real fucking hard about why my boy-toy might be driving a fucking White Pontiac, and decide what you want to do."

Apparantly, that meant something, because the guy threw up his hands and stepped back. Bill turned back to the guy he had by the throat, "Now, I gave you a chance. You were lucky I gave it back to you at all. Now this is happening. And it's your fault." he reached into the guy's pocket and pulled the baggie back out. He tossed it through the door he had left open and I grabbed it and hid it. There really were cops down the street. He reached in the guy's pants pocket and came out with his wallet- then he threw him down on the pavement. He fished out the dude's drivers license, and looked it over, then took out a $20 bill. He put the license back and threw the wallet at him, stepped back in the car, looked back, and said, "Get the fuck out of the way!" Then he slammed the door and said, "Drive, bitch!"

I swallowed, looked back to make sure that he had, in fact, moved from the back of my car, and sped out like a bat out of hell.

I've been in a lot of drug deals gone bad, but that scared the shit out of me. I've never, EVER seen him violent before, and I've known him for 2 years. He's always been a pacifist. And, being a guy, society has always engraved in me that I deal with my own shit. It would have never occurred to me to say, "Make this right or my boyfriend will kick your ass."

But apparently, fuck with me, and my boyfriend will kick your ass! That is AWESOME! He's strong- I'm not. He's tall- I'm not. He's intimidating- I'm not. That was so fucking great! I could feel my blood pumping through my veins- I was so turned on- and I feel like I should have been pissed off- but it took everything in me not to jump him in the fucking car! When we got home, I drew a bath for him, rolled a blunt and sucked him off until he told me he was to sore to let me anymore. Then I just kinda snuggled into him until the water got cold. I was- addicted- my body tingled. And it was something that I should have been angry about. But I was worshiping him for it.

Love is weird. Fuck gender roles. I'll be feminine- I'll let him take care of me- if it makes me feel like this. I'm still glowing today. That whole "alpha male" thing- I dunno, it makes me shudder with anticipation. When I see him again today, I'm greeting him on my knees.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Many of my slash-writing friends have their characters love the way the (larger, more violent) other man gets protective of them. I think that women who write like this are projecting-- letting this feeling come from a man is less problematic than having it come from a woman. But of course, we all need someone to take care of us sometimes.

 

[jackstud]

Heart warming story candi

 

[Kurokami]

So that story was an entertaining read, heartwarming and a little bit badass all at once. Nice combination.

And I get what you're saying about gender roles too, Candi. My wife is about a head shorter than me and as adorable a woman as you're ever likely to meet, but I've no doubt she could kick anyone's ass in much the same way as your boyfriend. Especially now that she's a hormonally charged, heavily pregnant war machine of an englishwoman. I doubt any of the stories I could tell would be half as dramatic as Candi's, but she's been the man in my life for going on five years now, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

And if I ever have the desire to become the man in the relationship, all's I need to do is think back to the time she went berserk and screamed at my grandfather for fifteen minutes non-stop because he took one too many passive aggressive shots at me. The utter vehemence in her final "Fuck you, we're out!" is enough to keep me in my place for the foreseeable future

 

[CandiCame]

So that story was an entertaining read, heartwarming and a little bit badass all at once. Nice combination.

And I get what you're saying about gender roles too, Candi. My wife is about a head shorter than me and as adorable a woman as you're ever likely to meet, but I've no doubt she could kick anyone's ass in much the same way as your boyfriend. Especially now that she's a hormonally charged, heavily pregnant war machine of an englishwoman. I doubt any of the stories I could tell would be half as dramatic as Candi's, but she's been the man in my life for going on five years now, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

And if I ever have the desire to become the man in the relationship, all's I need to do is think back to the time she went berserk and screamed at my grandfather for fifteen minutes non-stop because he took one too many passive aggressive shots at me. The utter vehemence in her final "Fuck you, we're out!" is enough to keep me in my place for the foreseeable future

Dude, even if she wasnt already badass, you couldn't pay me to fuck with a pregnant woman! They get super-strength & shit!

 

[CandiCame]

Does anyone know what the "white pontiac" thing was about? Ive beem wondering...

 

[jackstud]

A Pimp car?

 

[CandiCame]

A Pimp car?

Oh god, I hope not...

I thought they drove Cadillacs...

I honestly have no idea what he was going for with that, but it scared the other guy. I guess I won't know until tomorrow- our schedules aren't syncing up today.

 

[PressNightly]

Does anyone know what the "white pontiac" thing was about? Ive beem wondering...

Not even a fraction of a shred of a shard of an idea, but I'm extra curious because until recently, I spent 6 years behind the wheel of a White Grand Prix GTP....

Really sad GM dropped Pontiac though, best car I ever had, would have bought another if I coulda.

If you find out what he meant, please share!

 

[Kurokami]

Dude, even if she wasnt already badass, you couldn't pay me to fuck with a pregnant woman! They get super-strength & shit!

Word. I once saw my wife lift a car over her head with one hand

Of course, she's powerless against me. I just have to remind her that, right now, she'll often need my help to get up from a sitting position, or to pick things up from low down. It is by remaining useful that I have kept myself alive... For now

 

[CandiCame]

Word. I once saw my wife lift a car over her head with one hand

Of course, she's powerless against me. I just have to remind her that, right now, she'll often need my help to get up from a sitting position, or to pick things up from low down. It is by remaining useful that I have kept myself alive... For now

Dude, I seriously think I have a preggers fetish or some shit. You ever need anyone to help shave her legs or some shit... You call me.

Did u say u were having twins?

 

[Kurokami]

Dude, I seriously think I have a preggers fetish or some shit. You ever need anyone to help shave her legs or some shit... You call me.

Did u say u were having twins?

Twins, yeah. She's getting pretty big, it's getting pretty close. Only a month to go!

And as my sig indicates, she does treat me like a butler most of the time, especially now. If you wanted to do stuff for her, be my guest; she's basically as pregnant as it's possible to be, right now. I never thought of myself as having a pregnancy fetish before, but it's definitely looking that way now. Maybe it's just her.

I mean, it's not that I mind doing things for her- she's knitting us a couple of daughters at the molecular level- it's just that I'm under no illusions that it'll stop once the twins are born

 

[CandiCame]

Twins, yeah. She's getting pretty big, it's getting pretty close. Only a month to go!

And as my sig indicates, she does treat me like a butler most of the time, especially now. If you wanted to do stuff for her, be my guest; she's basically as pregnant as it's possible to be, right now. I never thought of myself as having a pregnancy fetish before, but it's definitely looking that way now. Maybe it's just her.

I mean, it's not that I mind doing things for her- she's knitting us a couple of daughters at the molecular level- it's just that I'm under no illusions that it'll stop once the twins are born

Twins are so fucking creepy man. Promise me that once they're toddlers you'll get them matching puffy dresses and a rope, and teach them the Freddy Kruger song. No one will ever fuck with them. Ever.

I know I wouldn't.

 

[Kurokami]

Twins are so fucking creepy man. Promise me that once they're toddlers you'll get them matching puffy dresses and a rope, and teach them the Freddy Kruger song. No one will ever fuck with them. Ever.

I know I wouldn't.

Oh yeah. Definitely

And for Halloween I'll dress them up as the creepy twins from The Shining, have them stand in the window at the front of our house and stare at people passing by. It'll be great.

'Course, all that's tempered slightly by the fact that we probably have fraternal twins, not identical, but I guess little girls are sort of creepy in general, huh?

 

[CandiCame]

Oh yeah. Definitely

And for Halloween I'll dress them up as the creepy twins from The Shining, have them stand in the window at the front of our house and stare at people passing by. It'll be great.

'Course, all that's tempered slightly by the fact that we probably have fraternal twins, not identical, but I guess little girls are sort of creepy in general, huh?

Full blood siblings look a lot alike sometimes. A friend of mine has blond, Villiage-of-the-damned looking twin daughters. They're 12. I'm terrified of them. And one of them always asks me REALLY inapropriate questions.

*sweatdrop*

I'm so happy for you/jealous of you for so many reasons. You know if I knew you in me******* I'd hit on you, right? I like you, AND I've always wanted to get my ass kicked by an Englishwoman.

 

[klippert]

don't think your so tough to fuck with drug dealers...and their money....you may have won this battle, but don't fuck with them....even small time hoods have to pay a bigger hood....the bigger the pond the bigger and meaner the fish....turst me....

One big intimidating fag....and going to stop a pissed off dealer...and his thugs..

 

[CandiCame]

don't think your so tough to fuck with drug dealers...and their money....you may have won this battle, but don't fuck with them....even small time hoods have to pay a bigger hood....the bigger the pond the bigger and meaner the fish....turst me....

One big intimidating fag....and going to stop a pissed off dealer...and his thugs..

That's part of what made it so sweet.

Plus, I kinda live in the drug culture, I wouldn't even consider this a drug story. It's about an oz of weed, not an 8-ball, even. It takes more then a dealer to scare me. The
worst they can do is shoot me, and they don't do that when they see my tags. I've played this game long enough to know the big fish. We usually have the same surname. Oh the reasons I dislike my family... *sigh*

But Bill doesn't know any of that. He went in green. For me.

Fyi though, weed-pushers like him are usuallu cowardly bottom-feeders of the drug world. He wasn't a professional by any means... This post, though sweet, reads kinda like a DARE poster. Telling someone whose been fucked over not to right things is like telling a smoker not to smoke. You know the risks going in.

This one was minimal, but annoying. He did with his bear hands and words what would have taken me a bullet and a namedrop. And it was his passion that made hin hot.

You know, I've never thought of him as a fag. I can apply that so much easier to me then I can to him. I wonder why...

 

[CandiCame]

Not even a fraction of a shred of a shard of an idea, but I'm extra curious because until recently, I spent 6 years behind the wheel of a White Grand Prix GTP....

Really sad GM dropped Pontiac though, best car I ever had, would have bought another if I coulda.

If you find out what he meant, please share!

Appearantly, that kind of car is really popular with police officers, which makes sense, because my gramps, who bought it, was a police officer. I never stopped to notice that.

Plus, I had asked him the old, "Are you a cop?" Question. He thought I was being funny until he met my man (who he assumed to be a cop.)

 

[Kurokami]

Full blood siblings look a lot alike sometimes. A friend of mine has blond, Villiage-of-the-damned looking twin daughters. They're 12. I'm terrified of them. And one of them always asks me REALLY inapropriate questions.

*sweatdrop*

I'm so happy for you/jealous of you for so many reasons. You know if I knew you in me******* I'd hit on you, right? I like you, AND I've always wanted to get my ass kicked by an Englishwoman.

I gotcha. I've got a half-sister that, I've been told, looks like a female version of yours truly, which is... unsettling. Especially when we speak in unison, which happens more than you might think- we did grow up being completely inseperable.

As for hitting on me... I doubt I'd mind that

 

[CandiCame]

I gotcha. I've got a half-sister that, I've been told, looks like a female version of yours truly, which is... unsettling. Especially when we speak in unison, which happens more than you might think- we did grow up being completely inseperable.

As for hitting on me... I doubt I'd mind that

Holy fucking shit- that is awesome. I've never been a fan of incest or anything, but...

You know what- there's absolutely no way to end that sentence that won't put me strait in hell. So I'm just gonna leave it dangling. Just on the off chance that there might be a god.

 

[Kurokami]

Holy fucking shit- that is awesome. I've never been a fan of incest or anything, but...

You know what- there's absolutely no way to end that sentence that won't put me strait in hell. So I'm just gonna leave it dangling. Just on the off chance that there might be a god.

Might be for the best, Candi. Might be for the best

Especially since I spent a few months training my wife not to make jokes like that, too

 

[StacyCD39]

Fuck gender roles.

This, this THIS!!! I'm taking a Womens' Studies course, and I can tell you that the way gender is portrayed, perceived, and performed in our society robs are social constructs, and rob us of who we truly are.

This was a wonderful story, candi, and I'm so very happy you've shared it with us! You're indeed very lucky to have a man who cares about you with such passion!

If society wasn't so hung up on gender, this would really be a much friendlier place for people like us. Instead we live in fear of being beaten to within an inch of our lives while standing in line at Mickey D's.



This situation sounds like it empowered you, candi, and for that, I am so truly happy for you!