Let's talk about submission!

[DothanMistress]

I have been around the web a few times and have quite a bit of D/s experience under my boot! It is a tad bit irritating when you are misled so many times by people that have invested so much time into marketing themselves as real! All I have ever asked for is to find a sub that wants long term and something real......is it really that hard to find? Your thoughts?

 

[YourCaptor]

I have been around the web a few times and have quite a bit of D/s experience under my boot! It is a tad bit irritating when you are misled so many times by people that have invested so much time into marketing themselves as real! All I have ever asked for is to find a sub that wants long term and something real......is it really that hard to find? Your thoughts?

Yes!!!

Well depends, some people got a bit of luck and find em right away.

I could go into a huge thing on "the game", and society/economics in this country, but fuck it.

Anyway, long story short, good relationships, I think, rarely start out artificially.

 

[Cobalt87]

What exactly are you looking for in a sub partner? The reason I ask is because expectations here can vary so much, from someone being interested in occasional BDSM role play to someone who wants their partner to essentially be their slave.

As a submissive guy, I’d very much like to be in a relationship with a dominant woman. However, there is a limit to my submissiveness as I’d probably draw the line at being someone’s 24/7 slaveboy.

 

[DVS]

I have been around the web a few times and have quite a bit of D/s experience under my boot! It is a tad bit irritating when you are misled so many times by people that have invested so much time into marketing themselves as real! All I have ever asked for is to find a sub that wants long term and something real......is it really that hard to find? Your thoughts?

In my experience, yes. And that's a very big yes, too. I'm sure there are some who find and meet and hook up with their special someone very early on, but while I've had my play times, none of them were lasting players. And, I really don't think that special someone will be coming around in my lifetime. If she waits too much longer, I'll be too old to swing a flogger.

The Internet is literally packed full of fakes, posers, wannabees and just plain liers who are looking for some quick booty, I guess. All they do is mess up my time and cause me to get closer and closer to just giving up the fight.

As far as female subs are concerned, I know they are out there, but in my local area they seem to ignore me for some reason. I've looked...I don't see anything printed on my forehead that tells these women to stay clear of me. It sucks, because I know someone is out there. They just get so many messages from posers that when they get a legit message from someone like me, they pick it apart, as if I'm just another faker.

Nobody can survive one of those magnifying glass filters. They are so inundated with fake message after message, after message, I'm quickly dropped as just another one, without even a chance to counter their opinion. Well, it's their loss, not mine. Well, I do suffer, too.

 

[DothanMistress]

I agree with you all for the most part!! I am glad there are at least a few in the lifestyle that are real haha! I have had so many "subs" that stick around for a few months and then settle for a vanilla relationship. If you give it a few months they always try to come crawling back for a second chance. I do not seek a slave, I seek a sub. I am sure most people in the lifestyle long enough can grasp the difference. If I wanted someone to just sit around and wait on me hand and foot all day then I would hire a butler! I want a submissive soul that longs for ownership! Sexual submission can be offered by anyone.....it's called role play!! As a Domme I actually have been submissive in the bedroom and am certain that it does not take away from my ability to dominate a sub. This brings up a new question.......What do you think of a dominant that can switch (sexually only)?

 

[YourCaptor]

What do you think of a dominant that can switch (sexually only)?

I don't know... They be very horny?

 

[Etoile]

Are we talking about bottoming? Because I don't necessarily think it's the same as submitting.

 

[DothanMistress]

I was referring to a TPE during sex.

 

[Etoile]

Well now I'm even more confused. How can you have a TPE that is sex-only?

 

[smallgirl]

I agree with you all for the most part!! I am glad there are at least a few in the lifestyle that are real haha! I have had so many "subs" that stick around for a few months and then settle for a vanilla relationship. If you give it a few months they always try to come crawling back for a second chance. I do not seek a slave, I seek a sub. I am sure most people in the lifestyle long enough can grasp the difference. If I wanted someone to just sit around and wait on me hand and foot all day then I would hire a butler! I want a submissive soul that longs for ownership! Sexual submission can be offered by anyone.....it's called role play!! As a Domme I actually have been submissive in the bedroom and am certain that it does not take away from my ability to dominate a sub. This brings up a new question.......What do you think of a dominant that can switch (sexually only)?

i think sometimes distance plays into it.
have i met anyone i would love to have a chance with? to see if it would go anywhere.

sure..but its pretty darn hard to do when you are hundreds of miles away. its not like you can just meet up for dinner across country from each other.

 

[YourCaptor]

i think sometimes distance plays into it.
have i met anyone i would love to have a chance with? to see if it would go anywhere.

sure..but its pretty darn hard to do when you are hundreds of miles away. its not like you can just meet up for dinner across country from each other.

Hi small girl, welcome to this part of lit.

 

[smallgirl]

Hi small girl, welcome to this part of lit.

well...thank you.
hi to you as well.

 

[Wizard]

In my experience, yes. And that's a very big yes, too. I'm sure there are some who find and meet and hook up with their special someone very early on, but while I've had my play times, none of them were lasting players. And, I really don't think that special someone will be coming around in my lifetime. If she waits too much longer, I'll be too old to swing a flogger.

The Internet is literally packed full of fakes, posers, wannabees and just plain liers who are looking for some quick booty, I guess. All they do is mess up my time and cause me to get closer and closer to just giving up the fight.

As far as female subs are concerned, I know they are out there, but in my local area they seem to ignore me for some reason. I've looked...I don't see anything printed on my forehead that tells these women to stay clear of me. It sucks, because I know someone is out there. They just get so many messages from posers that when they get a legit message from someone like me, they pick it apart, as if I'm just another faker.

Nobody can survive one of those magnifying glass filters. They are so inundated with fake message after message, after message, I'm quickly dropped as just another one, without even a chance to counter their opinion. Well, it's their loss, not mine. Well, I do suffer, too.

Dvs you said things well years ago and still are right on the money, the internet wanta bee's made me bored with forums for a while. Just hoe hum with topis and silly games... Well put my Brotha, well put.

 

[pussyg]

how funny - i've just come across the flipside of this on a fl forum - a sub looking for a Dom and finding nothing but time wasters and wannabes. i guess that just goes to show it doesn't matter whether you want to kneel or be kneeled before - there are fakes on both sides.

 

[Lord_Steve]

Dvs you said things well years ago and still are right on the money, the internet wanta bee's made me bored with forums for a while. Just hoe hum with topis and silly games... Well put my Brotha, well put.

haha I think I love you

 

[DVS]

Dvs you said things well years ago and still are right on the money, the internet wanta bee's made me bored with forums for a while. Just hoe hum with topis and silly games... Well put my Brotha, well put.

Thanks, but I'd rather be right about something else. I've experienced this phenomenon in real life, all too often.

 

[DVS]

how funny - i've just come across the flipside of this on a fl forum - a sub looking for a Dom and finding nothing but time wasters and wannabes. i guess that just goes to show it doesn't matter whether you want to kneel or be kneeled before - there are fakes on both sides.

I think you are experiencing the same thing, just from the other side. While there may be some fakers on the sub side, I think most of the fakers and wannabees are on the dom side and you on the sub side have to filter through them to find a real life dom. Those of us on the dom side have to shine through brighter than the fakers and wannabees.

They have no problem appearing real. What's worse, they use the shotgun method to get a reply. They send emails to EVERYBODY. They don't care who responds. They are just looking for whatever they can get from those replies. If someone rejects them, no worry. They just move on the the next. This is one reason subs get so many responses to their profiles. Most of them are from fakers...sometimes the same guy, under a different name.

Those of us who are trying to be real and honest can look just like one of those fakers or wannabees to a sub who's patience has been wasted a few times already. It's near impossible to prove you're not fake, in that first few emails or IM conversations. The scrutiny is viscous. Subs get so many messages anyway, yours is just one of hundreds. So, the first time you say something a faker has already said or makes the sub feel the least bit queasy, you're history and they move on the the next message.

I've made it all the way to an IM conversation and LITERALLY, within a minute or two, been sized up and spit out because of something I said or didn't say. They don't even say why...they just disconnect. It's very frustrating.

After a while, it just becomes too much of a pain, no matter what side of it you're on. That's kind of where I am, right now. Age is catching up with me. Soon, I'll just say it's no longer worth the hassle.

 

[Stella_Omega]

DVS, I doubt it's you, honest. I think half the time they disconnect because their husbands have just walked into the room.

As far as someone who is dominant in the rest of the relationship--even often dominant during sex much of the time, bottoming when it suits her-- Why the hell not? As my Domme mentoress always says, It's Your World. The trick is to train your sub to top you in exactly the right way. To take up the reins and drive you around the corners, so to speak.