Anonymous Questionnaire

[Tokki]

[No longer relevant.]

 

[CandiCame]

Questionnaire Time:

1) What is your opinion on psychology and/or mental illness in general?

This question confuses me... How can you have an oppinion on mental illness? It sucks. It's like asking what you think of herpes. Cold sores suck.

2) How do you identify within your community, if you identify at all?

Within BDSM? I'm a sub- I might as well have it tattooed on my forehead. But then I'd never be able to get a job.

3) 'Sane, Safe, Consensual' is something oft seen on even the most basic search of BDSM online. How do you feel mental illness ties into this?

This seems to be a question that should be directed to a psychologist. I don't know enough about various mental illnesses or people's sexuality to really state anything on it. Personally, there's nothing sane at all about the way that I have sex. And if it were left up to me, it probably wouldn't be safe either- that's why I have to be really careful with partners- I have to have people I know are strong enough to keep me from killing myself- when I die it's probably going to be in the bedroom. Intense pain, intense breathplay; I like the physical pain better then the humiliation.

My actual psychologist thinks that all my self-destructive tendencies (including my brand of sex) are kind of tied to my upbringing. Specifically to my parents- but I don't know that she's right. She ties my love of pain to my father's love of inflicting pain, but that was different. I never minded the pain, but I didn't like it. I liked the way it would fuck with him that no matter how much he physically hurt me, it never really hurt me- my brother cried, my voice didn't crack if I was in the middle of the sentence. I can ignore a beating that put me in the hospital. I think that the high pain tolerance was innate and he fucked with it, not that he fucked with it so it became prominent. If that were true, then my brother would have the same deal, and he doesn't.

4) The DSM-IV includes sexual masochism in its current list of mental illnesses (describing it as: "The disorder is characterized by either intense sexually arousing fantasies, urges, or behaviors in which the individual is humiliated, beaten, bound, or made to suffer in some way.") How do you feel this relates to and/or affects the BDSM community?

Sex makes people crazy- I could certainly see any fetish being listed in the DSM, but masochism can certainly be carried to far and qualify as a disorder. It's mine. I was a cutter in high school, I've had 6 different "suicide attempts"- but for masochists it isn't about the suicide, it's about the beauty, the feelings that take you to the brink of death. Death also holds no fear for me- and I can state with near certainty that this is because I nearly died as a child and kind of always felt like I should have.

5) Any additional comments:

This really can't be taken and applied to the community as a whole. It's all about me and deeply personal. I don't know that anyone else is going to have similar stories/experiences.

 

[BiBunny]

Sexual masochism (and sadism)--like damn near everything else in the DSM--are only considered mental illnesses if they severely impair the person's functioning or if they cause the person significant emotional distress. Or, of course, if the person inflicts his or her desires upon the unwilling, in the case of sexual sadism.

 

[FurryFury]

This questionnaire seems to be connecting BDSM with mental illness.

I don't like it.

FF

 

[gonewrong]

What FF said ^

It's really ironic, given the percentage of mentally ill colleagues I've had studying psychology.

Tokki, looking for research subjects on an interenet forum, really? My my, psychology must have come a long way these past ten years.

 

[CutieMouse]

4) The DSM-IV includes sexual masochism in its current list of mental illnesses (describing it as: "The disorder is characterized by either intense sexually arousing fantasies, urges, or behaviors in which the individual is humiliated, beaten, bound, or made to suffer in some way.") How do you feel this relates to and/or affects the BDSM community?

Actually, DSM-IV has removed [consensual] sexual masochism as a sexual disorder. according to the most recent Wiki* article on the subject -

The results of the studies and increased societal toleration of sexual minorities led to sadomasochists organizing in groups such as the Eulenspiegel Society in 1971 in the U.S. This is especially true in countries where consensual, adult sadomasochism is legal, such as in Germany and Norway.[6][7][8] Resultantly, sadomasochism entered the mainstream cultures of the West and of Japan, via the works of Maria Marcus in Denmark, Patrick Califia in the U.S., Vanessa Duriès in France, and Kathrin Passig in Germany. The reportage of the new studies allowed the elimination of sadism and masochism as categories of sexual and mental illness. Moreover, the BDSM subculture presented social and legal discrimination as further reasons to eliminate said mental illness categories, by noting the precedent of homosexuality having been eliminated from the list of sexual and mental disorders.[9]

In 1994, the American Psychiatric Association responded by modifying the denotative criteria defining “sadism” and “masochism” in the fourth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM IV); thus, consensual sadomasochistic behavior no longer is considered a sexual disorder. Furthermore, in the textual revision of the DSM-IV TR (2000), sadomasochistic behavior is a sexual and mental disorder if the patient “has acted on these urges with a non-consenting person” and if “the urges, sexual fantasies, or behaviors cause marked distress or interpersonal difficulty”.[10][11] Elsewhere, in 1995, Denmark became the first country to delete “sadomasochism” from its medical disorders system of classification.[12]

*Yes, I know Wiki isn't the most reputable source; however, given that the OP is in freaking college (I presume writing a paper for either a psych class or human sexuality/sociology/anthropology class) and doesn't even know of DSM-IV revisions made over a decade ago... I see no reason to hunt down a more reliable source for him/her.

Seriously kid... do your homework before spilling bullshit on a computer screen.

This questionnaire seems to be connected BDSM with mental illness.

I don't like it.

FF

Yep.

Does mental illness exist? Yes.

Does mental illness exist in greater numbers than most of society is comfortable acknowledging? Yes.

Do those two factors mean that mentally ill people will exist in BDSM "communities"? Yes.

Do those two factors mean that mentally ill people will exist in non-BDSM "communities"? Yes.

Your fundamental theory re: mental illness and it's impact on BDSM communities is both weak and flawed, because the psychiatric community no longer views [consensual] sadism/masochism as a mental illnesses. You are utilizing outdated, inaccurate information to base your entire theory re: BDSM and mental illness. Helpful hint - poor research, cobbled together with anecdotal evidence from an online porn board will not help with the whole 4.0 college thing.

 

[KoPilot]

1) What is your opinion on psychology and/or mental illness in general?

Psychology is a fun thing to read about, though "mental illness" is pretty much a loaded term, so I'm just going to say, if you don't feel comfortable in your own skin for whatever reason, then... yeah, it sucks. And big time.

2) How do you identify within your community, if you identify at all?

I don't. I am peripherally aware of it, I soak in what other people say pertaining to it, and that's about it. I identify as a sexual hermit.

3) 'Sane, Safe, Consensual' is something oft seen on even the most basic search of BDSM online. How do you feel mental illness ties into this?

I feel it doesn't whatsoever. Unless you want it to, then it will no matter what I, or anyone else, says.

4) The DSM-IV includes sexual masochism in its current list of mental illnesses (describing it as: "The disorder is characterized by either intense sexually arousing fantasies, urges, or behaviors in which the individual is humiliated, beaten, bound, or made to suffer in some way.") How do you feel this relates to and/or affects the BDSM community?

I feel it's irrelevant since, according to CM, it's not a definition that can be found therein anymore. I also feel that it didn't ever belong in there, either. Just like homosexuality and hysteria.

5) Any additional comments:

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y287/evilauren/LULZ/87217-LuigiMarioNintendoSuper_Mario.jpg

 

[DVS]

Hi all. I realize this may not be the best place for this but I am internet challenged and I apologize if I offend anyone!

Let me get you all some background here, so you can make an informed decision on whether or not you'd like to share your opinions with me...

I think you have come to the right place for honest and true life experience answers to your questions, but you are not the first to come to us with this kind of thing. We've been under microscopes before.

Granted, you might be honestly trying to understand our group, and will give us the understanding we deserve in your paper. But, I hope you understand we have been misunderstood for quite some time now, and will continue to be misunderstood by society in general for some time to come.

A lot of that misunderstanding comes from the present mindset of psychiatry, and that is then reflected in most laws that are on the books. So, someone living a life involving BDSM has a lot to deal with, from the beginning. How can someone listen to their desires for BDSM and not also feel confused? Doctors say they are sick and laws say they are perverted criminals.

Because we are so misunderstood, to live our lives in relative peace, we keep to ourselves. So, BDSM remains a counterculture. And as such, society continues to view it as a sick and perverted group of people who need serious help with expressing their sexual love.

I would tend to agree with that statement, if I didn't know better. We enjoy beating on each other...inflicting pain and humiliation on those we love for our sexual satisfaction. That has to look pretty strange to someone who doesn't feel the same way. It's so distant and strange to many people that I wonder if BDSM will ever be an understood way of life. Sure, there is some insanity in BDSM, but there's insanity everywhere. There is also some mental illness in BDSM, but both are small amounts. I do think there are some who love BDSM because of their abusive backgrounds, but I don't consider that an illness. The illness was the abuse.

I was one of the lucky ones in that I knew I was a dominant sexual personality from a very early age. While that has its own share of demons, most don't realize they enjoy some aspect of BDSM until they have lived half of their lives in unfulfilled sexual relationships, wondering if that is all there is. And sadly, some never find any sexual satisfaction and all of this is because of a society that doesn't understand the sexual mind as well as it thinks it does.

I don't know if our sexual urges will ever be totally understood. I know we are considered pretty extreme, but more and more, people are realizing there is a little BDSM in everybody. If they could accept it and embrace it, that would go a long way in understanding BDSM. Unfortunately, I think society is too stuck up sexually to ever be able to deal with that. I think that is the group that's sick and needs help expressing their sexual desires.

 

[HottieMama]

Refer to my profile to see my "occupation," and you will understand why I feel I am not the ideal person to answer your questionnaire as you have presented it.


For the record though, CutieMouse is correct. Consensual sexual sadomasochism is no longer considered a mental disorder. Please check your facts as it seem the entirety of your paper hinges on this fact.

 

[marieR19]

For the record though, CutieMouse is correct. Consensual sexual sadomasochism is no longer considered a mental disorder. Please check your facts as it seem the entirety of your paper hinges on this fact.

This. And what most others have said.

It seems that the OP is infering a very strong link between mental illness and bdsm, when there really is no "link" at all. Which kind of destroys the entire viewpoint that the OP's paper seems to hinge on.

 

[Cobalt87]

This questionnaire seems to be connecting BDSM with mental illness.

I don't like it.

FF

Yea that's the impression I was getting.

Just because I like a good spanking or being dominated by a nice woman doesn't mean I'm crazy. Am I right?

 

[FurryFury]

You are.

Yea that's the impression I was getting.

Just because I like a good spanking or being dominated by a nice woman doesn't mean I'm crazy. Am I right?

 

[Tokki]

[No longer relevant.]

 

[graceanne]

Yea that's the impression I was getting.

Just because I like a good spanking or being dominated by a nice woman doesn't mean I'm crazy. Am I right?

What's wrong with being crazy?

I enjoy every minute of my insanity.

 

[bhndblueyes88]

What's wrong with being crazy?

I enjoy every minute of my insanity.

Sometimes it's not about you, graceanne. I swear to god, if I hear you caterwauling at the moon on the roof at 2am again, I will shoot you with a dart rifle and turn you in to Animal Control. SOME of us need to SLEEP!

 

[FurryFury]

Interesting.

It would be nice if people understood what it's all about.

What will be edgy when everyone understands everything?

LOL

I don't worry about that because it will never happen.

Now is a perhaps a better time to be GBLT but we still have such a long way to go in this and many other areas.

Good luck in your project whatever it may be.

FF

Thanks for correcting me on the DSM update, I absolutely should have been more thorough. I am a returning student and Wiki (or the internet at large) was not available for research the last time I had to do a serious inquiry into a topic I have little understanding. The hard copy I flipped through in the library was sadly out of date and, while I like to think I would have caught this when I set about outlining and seriously gathering my information in the coming weeks, its entirely possible I wouldn't have.

That said, I want to clarify a lot of things. This is neither for a psychology class, nor a sociology class, but a literature class. Peculiar perhaps, but when the reading list includes Cuckoo's Nest and Equus, perhaps not. The professor has decided that Mental Illness should be the focus for this class because, as I see it, he wants to get discussions going on a topic many would still consider taboo. Lets face it, its not something for polite company, and the isolation many mentally ill may feel as a result cannot be discounted.

And don't we all have an agenda. That's mine, in a nutshell. I have a special interest in the BDSM community and I would like to see it go the way the LGBT has gone (also a special interest of mine, but that is neither here nor there.) I'm aware that there are still a lot of hardships within the latter, a lot of stigma and prejudice, but from what I see it is getting progressively better.

Now unlike a lot of my fellow students (ah, to be 18 again!) I remember when it was overwhelmingly not okay to talk about homosexuality, especially not in a positive light. Even after 1973 and its removal from the DSM it was a long way from being considered 'normal'. With the AID epidemic of the 80 s and early 90s, and the scrutiny of the community as a result, it was a hard time to be LGBT, but they have made some remarkable strides, especially in the last decade.

My referencing to the DSM comes from a desire to draw a tie between the removal of homosexuality from the list in 1973 and the removal* of consensual masochism in the updated version.
*It makes the case I'd like to argue stronger actually, I like to think.

If the submission categories here are anything to go by I'd say the community is large and growing. I understand the hesitation and skepticism but I assure you the aim of this is simply to start a dialog, even if its only ever read by a single person.

And this is where it gets personal I suppose. The reason I choose BDSM is because I want to start talking about BDSM. I want to see the misunderstandings the community faces removed and on a broader scale, I want to see society become more accepting of things that deviate from the black-and-white norm. on a whole.

But small steps are all I can take and creating a dialog is the only way I see to begin doing this.

I feel like this is an inadequate explanation but the depths of what I want to say are not lending themselves well to words right now. I'll have to leave you all with this, to judge my intentions as you will.

With respect,
Tokki

 

[rekane]

I am strictly speaking only for myself.

For me personally my bdsm activities help me work out some childhood abuse issues in a safe way.

So, for ME, there is a connection to bdsm and mental health, not necessarily mental illness.

 

[KoPilot]

So, for ME, there is a connection to bdsm and mental health, not necessarily mental illness.

On a much less hostile note, this is how I feel about the subject myself. I could go on and on for pages about my own psychology and how kink pertains to my brand of sexuality, self-image, orientation/fetish, body chemistry, etc. but it's really not of any consequence whatsoever. Everybody's different... "how different" isn't a question that really needs asking.

 

[rekane]

On a much less hostile note, this is how I feel about the subject myself. I could go on and on for pages about my own psychology and how kink pertains to my brand of sexuality, self-image, orientation/fetish, body chemistry, etc. but it's really not of any consequence whatsoever. Everybody's different... "how different" isn't a question that really needs asking.

Ugh...did I sound hostile?
I wasn't really trying to sound hostile, I just didn't want anyone to think I was speaking on behalf of anyone else.

 

[KoPilot]

Ugh...did I sound hostile?
I wasn't really trying to sound hostile, I just didn't want anyone to think I was speaking on behalf of anyone else.

Nah I meant in regards to my original answer.

 

[Lilac_Sky]

Tokki,
I love learning, researching, debating. But i have to say that this thread just makes me feel like an animal at the zoo to be ogled and studied.

Finding out that it is for a literature class only confuses me more. It almost feels like trying to take two independent items, with a loose connection, and writing a paper to show the impact of one on the other .... the relationship between automobiles and lemon meringue pie ... or the relationship between video games and the cost of socks. There just seem to be so many better topics to choose for this assignment, and BDSM as a topic is just such a stretch. *Can* it be done? Absolutely. Is it going to make for an accurate, meaningful, truthful undergraduate paper? Not in my opinion.

And considering that the class is about mental illness (not sexuality) then I am even further confused how BDSM becomes a good topic to incorporate. *sigh* though I suppose that is why so many people spend their lives searching for fulfillment.... because to find what they want and need is lumped in with mental illness by the ignorant, judgmental masses.

Other than that .. yes to everything DVS said *standing ovation*

 

[YourCaptor]

Questionnaire Time:

1) What is your opinion on psychology and/or mental illness in general?

I have a degree in the biology of psychology and I think psychology is a start, yet also detrimental to studying human behavior. Therapy and all that usual stuff works for some disorders, such as some anxiety disorders for instance. It also educates the patient a lot on how to manage whatever symptoms they display. However what I think is needed is hard science into mental disorders and less of this "oh we can talk it out of you" crap.

Mental illness, someone with a mental illness is not someone you feel is acting odd, or weird. When you meet someone with a mental illness you feel pity, because you can tell they aren't what they could be. It's like seeing a 3 legged dog, you know what I mean.

2) How do you identify within your community, if you identify at all?

In my community? I think what you are getting at is the sex thing right. I ID as a dom, cause that way people in the know, know more about me. I could write an epic on what that means but lets just say straight sex, no trimmings, it can be so much more.

3) 'Sane, Safe, Consensual' is something oft seen on even the most basic search of BDSM online. How do you feel mental illness ties into this?

It doesn't. Though their are a lot of retards out their, and that's not meant technically. You know how 90% of drivers are too lazy to move a finger 1 inch to hit the blinkers, too often safe sane etc goes the same.

4) The DSM-IV includes sexual masochism in its current list of mental illnesses (describing it as: "The disorder is characterized by either intense sexually arousing fantasies, urges, or behaviors in which the individual is humiliated, beaten, bound, or made to suffer in some way.") How do you feel this relates to and/or affects the BDSM community?

Most people with a paraphilia realize they have a paraphilia and wish they didn't. When a paraphilia gets to the point doctors or psychologist get involved, it's so bad that it's causing problems in everyday life.

Few enjoy it, and that's no problem. However intervention is forced when it becomes dangerous. Dangerous is interpretable by society, which is why homosexuality was previously included, and pedophilia still is.

I'd say the majority of people into BDSM do not have a paraphilia.

5) Any additional comments:

On the subject of mental illness being taboo. I agree. What's often striking about meeting someone with a severe mental illness is how completely honest they are. They will tell you they are fucked up in the head and jump at any glimpse of possible treatment. That is a hard thing to do I think, to admit that you are compromised to the point that society has absolutely no role for you, and that all you are is a burden. Cause at the moment, that is how we treat the mentally ill.

So lets be honest ourselves. Yes, many of these people have reduced mental capacities. However plenty of jobs exist that they can be great at, often times better than normal people.

What we need to do is first, take care of these people properly. Take them in, develop cures, and then integrate them into society.

However this would require that we reject many elements in USA culture, such as being perfect, aspiring to be the most powerful, and cutting out the weak.



Tada, what you think?

 

[marieR19]

.... Okay, I'll answer. Not like you all don't know my mental issues anyways.

1) What is your opinion on psychology and/or mental illness in general?

I have a personal bias with this, so my opinion will of course differ greatly from people who have no personal experience in this area. I literally owe my life to a few certain therapists/psychologists who helped me during my breakdown. I think that the BEST thing anyone with a mental problem can do is look for a professional that can help them. However, I've also had experience with the flip side, and I know that some mental health workers play the blame-game and do more harm then good. I think psychology and the mental health field can be very very beneficial to people who need it, but people need to be aware of the risks and know that not all workers will understand their needs. Listening to a therapist who doesn't have your best interests in mind can make things so much worse.

2) How do you identify within your community, if you identify at all?

Sexually- Bisexual, submissive, masochist.
Mentally- bipolar, social anxiety
(I am very lucky that my town has a very accepting and knowledgeable community when it comes to mental illnesses.)

3) 'Sane, Safe, Consensual' is something oft seen on even the most basic search of BDSM online. How do you feel mental illness ties into this?

It doesn't. To me, "safe, sane, consensual" is just common sense. Sure, bdsm-ers have to be even more aware of it, but what relationship *shouldn't* play by those rules? Bdsm or not, you should always make sure your relationship is safe, both parties are consenting, and fully sanely aware of what is going on.

4) The DSM-IV includes sexual masochism in its current list of mental illnesses (describing it as: "The disorder is characterized by either intense sexually arousing fantasies, urges, or behaviors in which the individual is humiliated, beaten, bound, or made to suffer in some way.") How do you feel this relates to and/or affects the BDSM community?

Thankfully this is no longer true. I pretty much agree with YourCaptor's answer on this one, though. From what I've seen in life, pretty much any "fetish" or interest could *become* an unhealthy mental illness if it controls your life, or if you break the law or hurt people nonconsentually because of it. The vast majority of BDSM-ers are not in that catagory.

5) Any additional comments:

Sometimes I forget just how "taboo" mental illness still is in our society... I work in a behavorial health office and I'm closely connected with every single therapy-center in my town, so I don't *see* much of the bias against the mentally ill. Topics like this always pull me back and make me realize just how much work is to be done if we ever want to be accepted by society.

And *that* is one of the only ways that I feel BDSM and mental illness are alike/connected/etc. They are both still fairly taboo, still fairly discriminated against, in our society.

 

[where]

Questionnaire Time:

1) What is your opinion on psychology and/or mental illness in general?

2) How do you identify within your community, if you identify at all?

3) 'Sane, Safe, Consensual' is something oft seen on even the most basic search of BDSM online. How do you feel mental illness ties into this?

4) The DSM-IV includes sexual masochism in its current list of mental illnesses (describing it as: "The disorder is characterized by either intense sexually arousing fantasies, urges, or behaviors in which the individual is humiliated, beaten, bound, or made to suffer in some way.") How do you feel this relates to and/or affects the BDSM community?

5) Any additional comments:

I'm bored so I'll Play.

1) I think there is a problem with conflating psychology and mental health distress (mental illness is as outdated a term as insane, retard and negro. as a lit student you should be more aware and careful in your use of language). I'm wondering if you mean psychiatry? But as someone once said about psychology providing answers, if psychology provides the answer, it must be a fucking stupid question. But I'm a sociologist, so I would say that. My feelings about mental health distress are complex. In many ways it is socially constructed and very much contextual. Because it is 'other' it makes it easy to both demonise those so labelled and to medicalise them as well. So generally I'm very suspicious of how and why people are given these labels.

2) The question is unclear. which community are you referring to? generally I identify as white, female and heteroflexible.

3) mental illness (sic) doesn't tie into the SSC meme. As has been pointed out and also backed up with proper research, the distribution of people who have issues with mental health are pretty much equally distributed between BDSM and 'nilla individuals.

4) Null question as already discussed above.

5) I think you need to get a better supervisor/tutor at uni. There are so many problems with this 'questionnaire' on ethical, practical and theoretical levels that you cannot hope to get anything usable from it.

 

[DVS]

One thing I'd like to see accomplished in any attempt to understand or clarify BDSM for society would be the abuse that is mistaken as BDSM. There are a certain number of posers, fakes or sociopaths (pick your own villain) who literally seek out and prey upon new submissives. These predatory sadists find someone who's looking for a dominant to experiment with and they fill the newbie's head with false information.

The poser will act like a dominant, basically giving the new submissive a taste of what submitting is like, but slowly cutting off any connections with their friends and family, until the only person the submissive has in their life is this poser. Once the isolation is complete, the relationship starts to become abusive.

Because the submissive feeds off of domination and control, she finds it very difficult to break free. Her desire to submit overpowers her common sense to flee. Her isolation from any outside input seals her fate as a captive of his abuse and her need to fulfill her submissive desires.

Because she does not know how a true D/s relationship should be, she assumes that any abuse she receives is justified while she learns to properly satisfy him. She sees the abuse as his tool of correction, assuming she brings it on herself with her mistakes.

He thrives from the abusive control he has over her and so the abuse escalates as time goes on. With only his corrupt input to assist in understanding her submissive lifestyle, she sinks further and further into the abuse until she knows nothing more. The abuse continues until he tires of her or something worse.

This is often the first experience with submission for some newbies. And because of the brain washing it causes, it's difficult for them to function in a normal, loving relationship afterwards. They need the abusive control to continue. I think there are many false D/s relationships right now that are really mostly abuse. They continue, because by the time the submissive knows it's not a true D/s relationship, the abuser has already gained control.

We see cases like this in the news when a woman is battered and injured enough that medical attention is needed, or even some kind of unintentional death occurs. Then, society assumes it was a true D/s relationship that went bad. It taints the understanding of D/s and BDSM in general. Because society doesn't know what happens, they just assume abuse is always part of a true BDSM experience.