I would rather drink myself into oblivion...
so I wasn't so smut glutted out as I thought I was. I am after all a guy.
So there I was... finding myself by myself, with a mind unable to maintain focus on domestic desk duties it got to wandering where mens minds wander when they don't give a fuck about forward progression and with no one else around... or expected to be around for a couple more hours.
to touch upon the previous post a bit... I don't surf porn as much as I used to. Instead I sorta skim, see what I think looks like it may be something worth jerking off to and send it to me "things I been meaning to get around to" file in my bookmarks.
well I had saved this one movie that looked very promising at the time and figured what the hell? Lady Y isn't expected home... usually texts when she's on her way... I could use a break... fuck it, let's do this!
skip to the good part...
So I'm half-way into this movie and it's way the fuck as hot as I thought it would be. My pants are slung down to my ankles, my shirt is still on, my shoes are still on, I plugged my earphones in to the comp. (seriously... if you've never jacked your phones into your computer and simply settled on your computer speakers you're missing out on a shit ton of audio detail. What kind of audio detail you ask? I'll fucking tell you goddammit! The sloppy squishy wet kind created by the sliding of cocks into vaginas... and that's just ONE example! Oh the glory of it all!!!), I got my laptop on the seat of the couch, I'm on my knees on the floor, cock in hand and I'm fucking going at it. I began feeling the edge of blowing my load about 4 minutes into the vid and I'm on minute 15 of a roughly maybe 30 minute clip, edging the wave, avoiding being slammed up and broken against the rocky shore that is known a the male orgasm. I'm bring myself ever-so-close then easing up because as much as I like orgasms I also like watching porn and I need to see how this fucking video ends and if I blow my fucking load I won't give a fuck and know I'll never watch it ever again ...the annoying idiosyncrasy applies to fucking lit. stories as well which is why I really fucking hate stories over 4 goddamn pages long. I blow my load on page 2... fuck the rest, I'm done with it. No point resuming later on when there's so many other vids/stories I haven't seen or read yet.
Anyway... shades are pulled, I'm on my knees in the multi-purpose living room area of our little place, plugged in and just stroking myself. But I'm not just stroking myself, I'm studying myself as I get myself off. I take note of how what I am seeing is making me feel, driving me to want and lust and desire. I'm taking note of how my cock feels in my hand... how hot and hard it is... how at times for reasons not really known to me yet it softens a bit only to get almost painfully ridged, with blood engorged veins roping the length and girth of it. I'm taking note of how my hand feels around my cock studying how it seems to know exactly when to increase its grip and how at certain points along the wave my index finger will separate from the group and slide up a bit to spend some alone time of its own with the soft fleshy underbelly of my cock head... and how shortly thereafter my thumb will join the index finger up front, but on top... ever-so-slightly skimming the very top of my cocks crown*. It's like a delicate threesome with myself and it's fucking beautiful...
and then I hear it... even through my headphones... the distinct sound of the outside door unlocking. There's a second door... but the distance between the inside door and the outside door is very very short... and all of the sudden I'm 14 again and mom's fucking jiggling the door to bathroom wondering if I remembered to fucking lock it... but there is no lock on the inside door and I'm like "fuck..." and it doesn't matter that I'm a man in my 30's and have been married to this woman for 13 years. It doesn't matter that I take naked pics of myself and post them online thereby contributing to the fap fodder that's all out there... my mind is all of the sudden 14 again and I'm like "wtf do I do!!! shut the computer so she doesn't see what I'm jerking it to? Quick pull up my pants and pretend I wasn't doing anything outside of being just curious about pornography knowing damn well it won't work but maybe this one time it will and at worst she'll be like "oh... you know, there comes a time when a boy must become a man, and well... during this time he develops different feelings for girls just as girls; who've since become women, develop different feelings for boys... and that's why..."
So fuck me running because during this 1000th of a second of contemplation she's already opening the door, and in the next 1000th of a second (while shutting my laptop in the process of standing and pulling my pants up at the same time) ...before the sound waves of her first burst of laughter reaches my eardrum I steel myself, swallow my pride and accept that I... have been 100% busted.
I know no shame.
It does not have a home inside of me.
Nope it doesn't.
It's more a studio apartment.
Your broad shoulders are one of my favorite parts of you.
Night.
