Submitted new story

[nakdsub]

I just submitted a new story today. It should publish in 4 or 5 days. It is a stand alone, short story about the commitment of marriage. I sometimes get so sick of reading in, almost, every "Loving Wives" story about the guy who gets off on watching his wife get screwed by another man, that I have rebelled.
I know there are a bunch of stories that also end in divorce, including my own, but they are in small quantity comparatively.
The name of my story is, "It's the thought that counts." I hope you will give it a read when it is published and give me some feedback. I'm very interested in peoples views on infidelity.

I am also working on several more, including a complete rewrite for, "Picture Perfect," and, "Not so picture perfect." It has gone from two parts to three in response to the criticisms that I rushed the end. I am also writing the first two parts together so they are much more cohesive and believable that the originals.

I sincerely hope you enjoy them.

 

[jeanettepierce]

how do i post a story?

this sounds really stupid, but i'm not a computer person and i'm completely new to this site. how do i post a story?!
~Jean~

 

[adamzapple]

Sign in on the main Literotica page, click your user name, it'll take you to your options, submissions, click submit, paste your story, submit, job done. Good luck!

 

[lovecraft68]

I just submitted a new story today. It should publish in 4 or 5 days. It is a stand alone, short story about the commitment of marriage. I sometimes get so sick of reading in, almost, every "Loving Wives" story about the guy who gets off on watching his wife get screwed by another man, that I have rebelled.
I know there are a bunch of stories that also end in divorce, including my own, but they are in small quantity comparatively.
The name of my story is, "It's the thought that counts." I hope you will give it a read when it is published and give me some feedback. I'm very interested in peoples views on infidelity.

I am also working on several more, including a complete rewrite for, "Picture Perfect," and, "Not so picture perfect." It has gone from two parts to three in response to the criticisms that I rushed the end. I am also writing the first two parts together so they are much more cohesive and believable that the originals.

I sincerely hope you enjoy them.

A story of monogamy? Hey good for you. I'm also tired of hearing about all the swinging and swapping crap. Don't get me wrong if that is the lifestyle that makes one happy then go for it.

Thing is it seems like many(not all of course) swingers feel the need to point at the monogamous and call us out as prudes and we are not real men because we don't share our wives. So good for you for portraying the other side of the coin.

 

[nakdsub]

Thanks

I'm waiting to see what feedback I get from this.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

this sounds really stupid, but i'm not a computer person and i'm completely new to this site. how do i post a story?!
~Jean~

Just to expand on adamzapple's advice;

Read the Submission Guidelines

Clicking on your user name on the Story page will take you to your personal control panel. Click on 'submissions' in the left hand column to take you to your submissions page.

If you're really 'not a computer person' you can just attach a word file rather than pasting text. Five days later you should be posted and basking in praise.

Good luck!

 

[nakdsub]

Easier way

this sounds really stupid, but i'm not a computer person and i'm completely new to this site. how do i post a story?!
~Jean~

Jeanetteprierce,
I have found the easiest way to actually submit your piece is by, "copy and paste". Attaching the file doesn't work for because the type of file is limited. So,

After you have finished your story, go to "Edit" drop down menu in the upper left hand corner of your screen and click on, "select all". Then go to the same menu and click on, "copy". After you have signed in to the "Submit" section here, go to the area where the story goes, right click you mouse and hit, "paste". That will transfer the story.

Good luck.

 

[nakdsub]

Up and running

Okay, my new story is up and running. Again, it's a short, stand alone story, there won't be any more chapters coming. I would like all the feedback I can get. Good or Bad.
Thanks,

http://www.literotica.com/s/its-the-thought-that-counts-1

 

[PennLady]

Ok, I just read this. I think it needs comments on a couple of levels.

First, just objectively without regard to content -- it reads somewhat roughly. There are some mechanical errors, mostly punctuation, but it's also just... hmmm... I want to say harsh, which may have been what you were going for. But it just kind of bulls ahead, and we don't get to know the characters, especially Cathy. All we get to know of the men is that one is a swinger, and the other disapproves of that in a big way.

As for the story itself, I have to agree that I didn't find the characters very credible or believable. The husband comes across as a jerk, quite frankly -- he's incredibly judgmental, to the point that he can't even discuss this with his wife. She hasn't done anything except talk and think, and although I grant it's an awkward subject, he's acting like the thought police, and/or a spoiled child.

I mean, he's only "heard" that the other couple are swingers, yet apparently he's willing to buy into the rumors. What a dick. And the no alcohol? Now, that's fine, I don't keep much around myself since we don't drink, but again, it comes across in this very high-handed way. And if they'd just had a bbq, isn't it possible they'd have some beer left over from that?

I also think it might have made more sense if Barbara, the other wife, had come over. I imagine few things get a man's back up like having another man talk about this. Surely the inference is that the other man wants the guy's wife. Of course, it would also have been better for Cathy to talk to her husband instead of blind-siding him with it -- but then I feel she probably wasn't comfortable doing that b/c he's a jerk.

Anyway, at this point, all I can think is that Cathy is better off without him. He's acting like a judgmental prat, and she can do better. I guess my basic problem with this story is I don't like the husband.

This is not to say I approve (or not) of swinging. My husband and I are married eleven+ years and have no desire or interest in that sort of thing. However, I won't pass judgment on those who do. There's a lot of research out there showing that monogamy isn't for everyone, at least not in the conventional sense.

The outcome of your story is probably more common than the fantasy, this is true.

Infidelity is an odd thing. I wrote a story called Guilt that also had no sex. The general plot is that a guy cheated on his girlfriend, turned his guilt into (faux?) anger and broke up with her, then realized what a jerk he was. He apologized and she accepted (sorry for the spoiler ). I got a lot of conflicted feedback on that. Many were glad of the ending, even though they felt they shouldn't be. To me, it was about forgiveness and making mistakes and how we all do.

 

[nakdsub]

Pennlady Thank you

Pennlady,
Although I have never received a great review from you, your critiques are always well thought out and your criticism is always constructive. I have learned from you and I thank for your interests in my work.
Admittedly, I purposely went over the top on this story.
As for grammatical errors, that may have something to do with the fact that I'm usually writing these stories around two or three in the morning.

 

[PennLady]

Pennlady,
Although I have never received a great review from you, your critiques are always well thought out and your criticism is always constructive. I have learned from you and I thank for your interests in my work.
Admittedly, I purposely went over the top on this story.
As for grammatical errors, that may have something to do with the fact that I'm usually writing these stories around two or three in the morning.

Ah, the late night grammar gremlins. I think we all suffer from those.

I do hope the feedback helps.

 

[nakdsub]

Thank you

I would like to thank everyone for the outstanding feedback I received on, “It’s the thought that counts.” As I mentioned in the beginning, the story was written as a counter point to the many, loving wives, stories where the husband has an immediate erection upon discovering his wife’s infidelity. The point I was trying to make was, although some couples may consider sex with each other simply just sex, others consider it the ultimate act of love for their mate. One that should be cherished for its intimacy and only to be shared by the couple.

As such, I admittedly and purposely went over the top with the husband’s reaction to his wife’s desires to join a swing club. Many of you blamed the wife for, “blindsiding” her husband by using another man to approach him on the subject. In my mind her intentions were the opposite. She felt he would feel more blindsided if the proposal came from the woman he loved. She felt he might listen to another man more readily. After all, you know how men talk when they’re together. She, obviously, had the meeting planned. She purchased beer hoping she could create a more relaxed atmosphere for Harry and her husband to talk.

Now comes the part where many of you said, how could she not know her husband well enough to anticipate his reaction. I believe there are many, many couples out there who have never asked the question of their spouse, “what does it mean to you when you make love to me?” Knowing someone as your husband or wife, would not necessarily mean they know the answer to that question.

The story was written to be thought provoking. Judging from the many comments it received, to that end I believe I was successful. Thank you for reading and thank you again for taking the time to post your own, well thought out and thought provoking responses.

 

[PennLady]

I have to go, so this will be quick. I think the problem with a story like this, that is a response to other things and, by your own admission, "over the top," is that it stops being a story and ends up more as a diatribe. Now, as I said, I generally agree with you -- I think a lot of these people who are fascinated by the idea of their spouse making love to someone else would be terribly disappointed by the reality. It takes two special, like-minded people to engage in these activities and not have it ruin the relationship.

However, just in your story, I thought the husband was beyond this -- he was a jerk. Which is why, perhaps if you'd had time for more character development, I might have had a different reaction. I mean, if this is the only area where he's this rigid, that's one thing. However, given what we have and what we know, he just comes across as a judgmental prick -- again, I think of the alcohol thing. It's fine not to keep any around for whatever reason, but to me, it came across as a superiority, and perhaps even a control thing. Like, "I don't want it, so if my friends want it, they can damn well do it themselves." What, is he an alcoholic? Is his wife? Did alcoholism ruin his parents' marriage? I just need a reason.

You're right that bringing up sexual matters, or any intimate matter, can be difficult even between spouses, when it seems that should be the easiest way. There was no good way for Cathy to bring this up to the husband, true. To me, though, his reaction spoke about way more than this one issue. He's willing to throw ten years of an apparently good, solid, loving marriage away because his wife asks one question? To me, then, he's the one with issues -- and I question whether he loved her.