my fiction is coming back to literotica

[Stella_Omega]

with extensive re-writes to make it hotter, longer, and just damn better.

here's the first submission;

Meeting Robby lesbian first time

 

[geronimo_appleby]

thanks for the warning.



*sprints*

 

[lustatopia]

Cool, Stella, I'm going to have a gander right now. Hope you don't mind if I bring a bottle of hand cream.

 

[jomar]

Bring it on!

 

[Stella_Omega]

Cool, Stella, I'm going to have a gander right now. Hope you don't mind if I bring a bottle of hand cream.

lemme know how that went for you, please?
I ask because it's about the most... female... maybe of anything I've ever written-- well, that and "her woods" which got a lot of low votes from men looking for a fap and very high votes from women looking for a fap.

So I'm curious!

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

YAYNESS!!!!!! *does happy dance*

 

[lustatopia]

lemme know how that went for you, please?
I ask because it's about the most... female... maybe of anything I've ever written-- well, that and "her woods" which got a lot of low votes from men looking for a fap and very high votes from women looking for a fap.

So I'm curious!

You're right, it's not porn, erotic, yes, but too cerebral for porn.

It's written in a way that calls attention to the exchange and balance of power between the two women inside a fascinating social milieu rather than being merely about acts of sex, which seem tacked on the end primarily as a structural element to bring the story closed with the required "money shot" climax.

The story is begging to become a full blown analysis of the erotic tensions inherent in sexual ambiguity and how that ambiguity eventually resolves itself into erotic certainty.

But when the story does resolve itself in climax sex I felt let down, because the struggle between the two women was more interesting than could be fitted into the porno meet-seduce-fuck format. I wanted about 2,000 more words, detailed observations of how they struggle to find a balance.. Instead, I felt like I was watching a remake of Lawrence's Virgin and the Gypsy as porn movie. Like, all the interesting twists were edited out.

Even if I didn't already have a few clues about your personality, Stella, from this story it seems you're such a dedicated observer of the delicate to and fro inherent in social exchanges, you should push that penetrating parsing of colloquy economics to the hilt and ditch the porn-format for the full range of complexities available in short story genre.

Plus, you over wrote the prose in places... when Laine say she felt constricted and structured in her suit, she was trying to tell you something. Lighten up, girl, and have fun. The kind of sharp observations you make come best at the speed of thought. Write faster to capture that sense of urgency.

 

[kurvy1]

Curious?

lemme know how that went for you, please?
I ask because it's about the most... female... maybe of anything I've ever written-- well, that and "her woods" which got a lot of low votes from men looking for a fap and very high votes from women looking for a fap.

So I'm curious!

You don't seem very curious to me... but I will go read the above link now

 

[Stella_Omega]

really interesting observations, lust, I appreciate them! I would agree that it's over written in places. I might re write it yet again on that comment alone!

And I totally see what you mean about the money shot ending, too. Of course it was written to that purpose--it was only meant to be a stroker back when I started it, and I kept enlarging on the foreplay...
2,000 more words, huh. Hmm. I'll keep that in mind.

 

[kurvy1]

SO's Fiction

Not that I'm surprised, but I really liked it...

 

[Safe_Bet]

Fucking EXCELLENT, Stella.

Don't change a thing. If dudes don't like it who cares! Its lesfic and chicks look for different things I guess. I thought it was great!

 

[HottieMama]

I will be upfront and say I rarely read the stories here and usually do my "literary adventures" on a much more "anything goes" site. That said, this was pretty damn good.

 

[Fmature2play]

I must admit that the picture I kept getting in my head was not of the type of girl I am attracted to necessarily but I really liked the story. It was easy to imagine it and that's part of a good story. Why bother if you just roll your eyes and just can't see it? Nicely done Stella.

 

[Noira]

I must admit that the picture I kept getting in my head was not of the type of girl I am attracted to necessarily but I really liked the story.

Pity.

The picture I had in my head was the kind of girl I'd kill my body to be. Strong and muscle the whole way through? Yep. The story was my sort of story: characters I could like, a situation not so shabby, genuinely erotic writing rather than writing intended for readers who get off on laundry lists of sexual acts.

Really, when I read it I wasn't in a fappable mood. I'm still not, but that's because my focus is rather limited and I'm concerned first about my ability to breathe. I enjoyed the erotic tension but more than that the balance between the two characters. It was a sort of story that isn't seen on Lit all too often, the sort of story I wish was on Lit way fucking more often, and the sort of story I read through shitty stories hoping to find.

It doesn't need to be changed. Keep in mind things for future writings, but leave this. It's a pleasure to read, and blows most of Lit's stories out of the water. I wasn't a fan of the "denouncement" ending, myself. I was a fan of the character building and the distinct power-play tension going on through the entire story. I'd have loved to see it twice as long; you know your characters, Stella.

It is fucking excellent lezfic. If I had the time and inclination I could probably get off on it, because I find the characters and powerplay attractive and combined with someone who can actually WRITE... that is definitely to hot to describe for me. But right now I'm too lazy.

Man, I should write more serious erotica. I think I've got like, one piece on here. D:

 

[Fmature2play]

I am more attracted to women that are softer by nature (read more curvy) but that doesn't mean that I cannot or did not appreciate the story and the skill because I enjoyed both.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I am more attracted to women that are softer by nature (read more curvy) but that doesn't mean that I cannot or did not appreciate the story and the skill because I enjoyed both.

Wow, I really appreciate that, Fmature

I write about butch looking women a lot... probably comes as no surprise, huh?

And I write about butch/femme interplay. I have a work in progress that will be written from both women's points of view, alternating chapters (I hope) so that you see the sexiness of the feminine lady through the butch's eyes.

 

[Jess727]

Loved It!