Blood

[sexyshortie13]

Please let me knw what you think whether it be hurtful or good it is my first story


I awoke one morning more horny than usual wanting him just once more and sadly waiting and waiting til he awoke and when he did he was horny as ever!!!!! Knowing that German and Russian are my favorite languages he talked dirty calling me his whore and asking if I wanted his dick. Then he talked about how he would pinch my pussy lips and drag his nails down them making them bleed and then bite them to make them bleed more. He even talked of whipping me and making me bleed and then rubbing his dick in my blood and then shoving it in me..

 

[PennLady]

So, what exactly are you asking? Is this the beginning of a story? The outline of one?

As for whether it's "hurtful," I don't know what you mean. Would something like that hurt? Sure as hell sounds like it. Would people like it, or get aroused by it? No doubt some would, if the story was well-written. Would I want to read it? No, not personally.

 

[driphoney]

Please let me knw what you think whether it be hurtful or good it is my first story


I awoke one morning more horny than usual wanting him just once more and sadly waiting and waiting til he awoke and when he did he was horny as ever!!!!! Knowing that German and Russian are my favorite languages he talked dirty calling me his whore and asking if I wanted his dick. Then he talked about how he would pinch my pussy lips and drag his nails down them making them bleed and then bite them to make them bleed more. He even talked of whipping me and making me bleed and then rubbing his dick in my blood and then shoving it in me..

Kinda got that Klingon craving going on?

It's a start and you conveyed a lot in a short space. I'm not really a real writer, and I'm saying this as the Queen of Wordiness, but the one thing that jumped out at me is a tendency to make long sentences. (Yes, it took me 32 words to say that!) There's nothing wrong with that as long as everyone doesn't get twisted up, but it's good to break up the pattern by using a few shorter sentences.

As for the story itself, as PennLady says, this isn't quite a story yet unless you have more hidden on your 'puter.

All the best in your writing endeavor.

 

[estragon]

In the BDSM category, you might get some affirmative feedback. Some of the readers over there are pretty hardcore, although the best writers aren't.