I'm feeling very owned

[Kajira Callista]

:: breathe ::
:: breathe ::
:: breathe ::

*giggles* you are my AngelDom ty for knowing me and always steering me back into the right direction.

 

[subish2009]

I think ownership only comes from the willing submission of one to another. Even though I amd the D in our relationship, m owns me every bit as much as I own her.

I am happy for you Kajira. I hope you feel as you do now for a lvery long time.

This is insanely sweet. And my D-types say the same thing, though it's almost hard to believe from the s prospective. I get it...that I own them, too...but at the same time I resist the idea that it could possible be true. They're so...BIG (metaphorically). And strong. And...how could I possibly own them?!?

Yet...the truth of it resonates in my soul. And it's incredibly heart-melting and heart-lifting to hear PYLs say this.

 

[Kajira Callista]

This is insanely sweet. And my D-types say the same thing, though it's almost hard to believe from the s prospective. I get it...that I own them, too...but at the same time I resist the idea that it could possible be true. They're so...BIG (metaphorically). And strong. And...how could I possibly own them?!?

Yet...the truth of it resonates in my soul. And it's incredibly heart-melting and heart-lifting to hear PYLs say this.

I do not own my Daddies..I would never even think it. It isnt part of our *stuff*. They tell me Im trouble They look at me amazed at my ability to submit sometimes. They look at me in a way only a Daddy can and I melt and blush and cant find words.
They do care about me in a way I am not sure I understand...but no, I do not own them.

 

[eastern sun]

I do not own my Daddies..I would never even think it. It isnt part of our *stuff*. They tell me Im trouble They look at me amazed at my ability to submit sometimes. They look at me in a way only a Daddy can and I melt and blush and cant find words.
They do care about me in a way I am not sure I understand...but no, I do not own them.

I feel the same way. I do not own him. I can rely on him to be true to his word. I can trust that his intention is to be true to the relationship.

But one of the reasons I am attracted to him is because - even though he holds authority in respect - he is incapable of being owned.

 

[chaoticDeviance]

I feel the same way. I do not own him. I can rely on him to be true to his word. I can trust that his intention is to be true to the relationship.

But one of the reasons I am attracted to him is because - even though he holds authority in respect - he is incapable of being owned.

I personally don't feel as if I could ever "own" anyone. I mostly want to attain the relationship I need so badly from them. I guess I have a problem believing we can own one another. Not saying it is a wrong belief or whatever, I just have a severe disbelief in this.

To me a man must command respect and authority on a base level for there to be any attraction coming from me. I am kinda weird though. I sometimes think that I expect to much, but I am more than okay with being alone these days with my cat and dog. As a man he needs to be strong enough to overpower me, but doesn't take advantage of this truth. He must command a silent respect from me, not forced nor contrived. There is something about a looming wisdom behind his eyes that he doesn't have to lecture at you to portray--- You just know.

Those are the things that to me that make me know that "he" can 'own' me. These are the things that have my heart still entangled with my ex. For me to be owned, that filling rarely dissipates. You never really forget that 'he' or 'they' own you, but it leaves you longing for that for a lifetime. ><

Of course, these are my personal opinions.

 

[intothewoods]

I love to watch aha moments and it seems you are about to have one

Been pondering this one for some time, and I do feel a bit closer to clarity because of this thread.

The outcome is the same for me, the geting there a bit different. I am ok with being submissive and I know it is hard for a lot of people to say that. Im not stupid,nor do I need someone to direct my every day living. I am a productive member of society and oddly no one in my real world would ever suspect sub or slave. My job, my ability to parent a teen and a tween, giving up my material things to leave a bad sitiation and restart my life, taking care of mom and my every day life struggles say different. Some women understand my reactions to the Daddies (we do see each other in public settings quite often and they are both very visible figures in the community) as a crush or me being in love or respect for him, but never that I am a doormat. Not one in th real world would ever think of me as that. I am strong, stubborn, smart and beautiful, which is something that both my Daddies remind me of every day.
I struggle with the trust. Ive watched my mistrust hurt people and that in turn hurts me. Once I really understood that this very odd relationship was going to be very difficult and even sad sometimes but was never going to hurt me in a bad way I was able to take a deep breath and be who I need to be for them. Both of them, never ever being labled "Dom" before in their lives, took me very gently through the scary and set me in this place of wonderful, safe, "ahhh I am home" feelings. Its kinda like they guard my door (one of my poems explains that) and they know whats in there and how important she is to all of us.

I, for so long, just wanted a Master and look at me now... Two Daddies. I feel like someone thinks I am a very very good girl to be able to have that

I'm okay with being submissive too. But I think for most people dominant and submissive relationships ebb and flow -- I mean the norm is push and pull in most relationships. I think it's rare for someone to have a truly submissive or dominant personality in the way they relate to everyone else. I'm not sure how I will feel in 10 years.

Now that's what i love about this site - so many different points of view and discussions on subjects that i, personally speaking, couldn't possibly have over coffee with vanilla friends. If i mentioned ownership they'd probably go running to the human rights brigade!!

For me ownership is a really interesting concept. i completely belong to my M(husband), no questions, we fit together, we belong together - i am utterly, utterly His. Having said that, He feels the same way about me too - and there are times in our lives where, at least on the outide, i have to take Him by the hand and lead Him through situations - we are human beings after all! Life just does that.

i think maybe the idea of ownership in a lifestyle sense has been somewhat distorted by wonderful pieces of very stimulating writing with tales of strong, wealthy Masters owning and dominating slaves/submissives in their power. You don't get that many stories where the Master is desperately trying to make ends meet, the kids are constantly in need of new clothes or shoes - and someone forgot to go and get the milk last night so there's a fight over the last piece of bread because no one can have cereal!!!!

Personally speaking, you find the balance that works for you - the headspace where you are most comfortable and do your best to stay there for a significant proportion of your time!!! i'm constantly getting back there - i don't seem to be able to stay in that wonderful, dreamy, happy place for any prolonged length of time - but it's getting easier to get back there. i guess it will just keep getting easier... lol x

I hate to be mushy, but actually I am most in awe of my husband when I look at how he takes care of the family, and all that that means -- financial, working hard, doing diaper duty when he's damn tired, etc. He's an excellent leader; he really makes we want to follow.

The feeling you describe is familiar to me. And I also associate it with being owned.

It hasn't been a fixed state though. And when I've lost that comfort zone, I've still been owned. And not at all at ease.

Owned is not one feeling. It is a state of being that encompasses many feelings and many experiences. Sometimes I feel trapped. Sometimes I feel bliss. Sometimes I feel restless. Sometimes stubborn or angry or sad. Sometimes I feel loved.

Owned feels, in my heart, like a steadiness, a throughline, a commitment. Like an act of engagement. Like a "be careful what you ask for" challenge. Like a set of walls that I've placed around myself.

Like the body that I sometimes feel trapped, restless, relaxed, blissful within.

But unlike my body, being owned extends beyond the boundaries of my own experience. It ties me always, in all ways, to another person.

Every action that I take resonates not only through myself, but through the space we occupy together. And similarly, every action that he takes resonates through me as well.

That's why it isn't always comfortable.

It's also why I associate that calm and easy place with ownership too. Because, when I cease to "fight against the ropes" and accept profoundly the reality of those bonds. I find that I can accept as well the boundaries and limitations of my own physical existence and begin to enjoy this world for what it offers.

Is this marriage or is it slavery/ownership? I really struggle with understanding ownership. I'm also thinking that maybe the language of M/s sounds too much like marriage to me, and I use D/s to feel subversive and like my life is unconventional and according to my own terms.

I feel the same way. I do not own him. I can rely on him to be true to his word. I can trust that his intention is to be true to the relationship.

But one of the reasons I am attracted to him is because - even though he holds authority in respect - he is incapable of being owned.

I get that -- my husband at one time used to say, we own each other and all that, but he hasn't recently. And I don't feel like I could own him either.

 

[SirLeo]

I personally don't feel as if I could ever "own" anyone. I mostly want to attain the relationship I need so badly from them. I guess I have a problem believing we can own one another. Not saying it is a wrong belief or whatever, I just have a severe disbelief in this.

To me a man must command respect and authority on a base level for there to be any attraction coming from me. I am kinda weird though. I sometimes think that I expect to much, but I am more than okay with being alone these days with my cat and dog. As a man he needs to be strong enough to overpower me, but doesn't take advantage of this truth. He must command a silent respect from me, not forced nor contrived. There is something about a looming wisdom behind his eyes that he doesn't have to lecture at you to portray--- You just know.

Those are the things that to me that make me know that "he" can 'own' me. These are the things that have my heart still entangled with my ex. For me to be owned, that filling rarely dissipates. You never really forget that 'he' or 'they' own you, but it leaves you longing for that for a lifetime. ><

Of course, these are my personal opinions.

I think we are experiencing different interpretations of "owning". For m and I it is a feeling of being so intrinsicly tied together that we are like 2 sides of coin.

 

[chaoticDeviance]

I think we are experiencing different interpretations of "owning". For m and I it is a feeling of being so intrinsicly tied together that we are like 2 sides of coin.

Well we can banter back and forth about the definition of words or the 'interpretation,' but as I said before the things I said were of my own opinion. I have a hard time believing in the ability to honestly 'own' another being. Ownership can be defined as dominion over one or something, but this would indicate that ownership goes one way. Still, I personally wrestle with the ideals of 'owning' another person.

Much of the defining of of lifestyle type wording is subject to the people and/or parties involved. English is much more fluid than math or science, which is probably why I cling to the sciences and math.

But, like I said, things I say or speak about or typically my personal tortured artistic and melodramatic opinions.

 

[Lilac_Sky]

I am owned. Mistress controls me completely, and I belong to her. She will do with me what she wants. I made the decision to submit to her long ago and that is such a comforting part of our relationship now. I don’t need to decide on a case-by-case basis of whether or not I will obey her. The trust in our relationship, and how well we understand each other allows me to relax into my status as her slave.

What being owned feels like to me is that I am loved and cared for and attended to with love and understanding. Mistress always knows what I am doing, always pays attention to me, always “supervises” me. To be accountable to someone who wants what is best for me and understands me so well makes me feel wonderfully protected and loved. To be able to enter that place of complete vulnerability and openness with someone I trust to not harm me is like a slice of heaven.

It is always easy for me? Not at all. It is worth those struggles and times of contemplation? Absolutely. And I enjoy those times of internal struggle, because they lead me to a better place ultimately. There have been times when I have gotten angry at a perceived injustice. In my prior relationship I would have either shared my anger (which would likely result in a nasty argument without a resolution to the underlying issue) or suppressed my anger (which led to much resentment on my part). But with Mistress, I tend to reflect on my emotions and then share them with her. Knowing that I may not speak to her disrespectfully usually makes me pause to calm myself down to understand what I am thinking/feeling before sharing that with Mistress. And ultimately I feel empowered because I shared what was in my heart. [As an aside, it makes me laugh that I feel more empowered as a slave than I did as a wife in a vanilla marriage.]

One of the strengths in our relationship is the vital part communication plays. She owns me. My thoughts and feelings are not my own to try to hide or manipulate. So I always share them with her, which avoids many misunderstandings that would arise. I don’t worry that she is upset with me about something but not telling me. She always tells me if I have done something to upset her. There is such a feeling of peace and safety that comes from that communication.

I do not feel that I own Mistress. We need each other, rely on each other, and love each other. For me, to own implies a right to control, to possess, to have mastery over. And while Mistress and I may be co-dependent, I do not own her.

 

[Skytripper]

I am owned. Mistress controls me completely, and I belong to her. She will do with me what she wants. I made the decision to submit to her long ago and that is such a comforting part of our relationship now. I don’t need to decide on a case-by-case basis of whether or not I will obey her. The trust in our relationship, and how well we understand each other allows me to relax into my status as her slave.

What being owned feels like to me is that I am loved and cared for and attended to with love and understanding. Mistress always knows what I am doing, always pays attention to me, always “supervises” me. To be accountable to someone who wants what is best for me and understands me so well makes me feel wonderfully protected and loved. To be able to enter that place of complete vulnerability and openness with someone I trust to not harm me is like a slice of heaven.

It is always easy for me? Not at all. It is worth those struggles and times of contemplation? Absolutely. And I enjoy those times of internal struggle, because they lead me to a better place ultimately. There have been times when I have gotten angry at a perceived injustice. In my prior relationship I would have either shared my anger (which would likely result in a nasty argument without a resolution to the underlying issue) or suppressed my anger (which led to much resentment on my part). But with Mistress, I tend to reflect on my emotions and then share them with her. Knowing that I may not speak to her disrespectfully usually makes me pause to calm myself down to understand what I am thinking/feeling before sharing that with Mistress. And ultimately I feel empowered because I shared what was in my heart. [As an aside, it makes me laugh that I feel more empowered as a slave than I did as a wife in a vanilla marriage.]

One of the strengths in our relationship is the vital part communication plays. She owns me. My thoughts and feelings are not my own to try to hide or manipulate. So I always share them with her, which avoids many misunderstandings that would arise. I don’t worry that she is upset with me about something but not telling me. She always tells me if I have done something to upset her. There is such a feeling of peace and safety that comes from that communication.

I do not feel that I own Mistress. We need each other, rely on each other, and love each other. For me, to own implies a right to control, to possess, to have mastery over. And while Mistress and I may be co-dependent, I do not own her.

This brought tears to my eyes.

 

[callinectes2]

I think we are experiencing different interpretations of "owning". For m and I it is a feeling of being so intrinsicly tied together that we are like 2 sides of coin.

This. Exactly.


KC, congrats on where you are.

 

[smallgirl]

i struggle with "ownership" mostly because I am a flaming narcissist. I have a hard time believing that someone can possibly know what is best for me that, is well, not me. I have a horrible track record with men. They are often not smart enough to keep up with, let alone surpass my intelligence enough to make me feel comfortable with their decisions. Yes, I know this makes me sound like the biggest narcissist on the face of the planet, but whatever. I also have trust issues that I can't even explain. So putting my faith in another is not a feat easily earned. '

I also have problems with "ownership" because typically speaking I do not want to be OWNED. I'd prefer that go unsaid. Show me. Make me feel it. Beg for it even. Don't TELL me you OWN me. If you can't make that known without words, then you aren't any man that owns my ass.

I am complex as fuck and not easily dealt with. You can call me not submissive, but you have not seen me in my moment of true submissiveness. Many people think that to be a submissive is to be a doormat and give in instantly to the desires of your Master and Mistress, but I am old school. Respect is earned.

In the rare moments, that a man has owned me heart and soul. I felt a plethora of emotions. I am happy, safe, scared and furious. You have been able to make me feel happy and comfortable, but for that I hate you. I am furious at you for making me "weak." I am scared you will use me, then leave me like all the others. I am a ball of chaos. I am nothing but raw energy, both positive, negative and neutral to all others. You have become my center, the center of my univers and in your shadow I sink into the unsafe places because you are there and allow me to venture into the things I would not normally. You open me up and close me off. That is ownership to me.

But I am a crazy narcissistic bitch. <3

and i thought i was the only one who felt this way.
so glad i am not alone in that.

 

[subish2009]

I think we are experiencing different interpretations of "owning". For m and I it is a feeling of being so intrinsicly tied together that we are like 2 sides of coin.

YES. EXACTLY.

For most of us, it's a metaphor. And just because one has not personally experienced the feeling of recognizing that you may "own" the heart/soul of your PYL that doesn't mean that one either is or is not capable of it. That individual simply has not experienced it.

There's a subtle subtext going on here implying that a PYL is less of a PYL if his pyl is capable of metaphorically owning him. I'm not gonna lie, I bristle a little at that when it's in direct response to my saying that my D feels he is as much mine as I am his. But I'm overstressed with work. I apologize if I'm being over-sensitive.

Also, I think this is only going to be true in relationships where the PYL and pyl are in love with one another...though I could easily be wrong. Please correct me if I am.

 

[intothewoods]

YES. EXACTLY.

For most of us, it's a metaphor. And just because one has not personally experienced the feeling of recognizing that you may "own" the heart/soul of your PYL that doesn't mean that one either is or is not capable of it. That individual simply has not experienced it.

There's a subtle subtext going on here implying that a PYL is less of a PYL if his pyl is capable of metaphorically owning him. I'm not gonna lie, I bristle a little at that when it's in direct response to my saying that my D feels he is as much mine as I am his. But I'm overstressed with work. I apologize if I'm being over-sensitive.

Also, I think this is only going to be true in relationships where the PYL and pyl are in love with one another...though I could easily be wrong. Please correct me if I am.

I don't get that vibe. Don't sweat it. I have felt the mutually owned feeling before, I just don't feel it right now. Ownership generally has always felt pretty abstract to me.

 

[subish2009]

I don't get that vibe. Don't sweat it. I have felt the mutually owned feeling before, I just don't feel it right now. Ownership generally has always felt pretty abstract to me.

Thanks, itw. Forgive me...work is making me defensive lately.

Peace.

 

[BiBunny]

So this is another thread about definitions? Again?

 

[chaoticDeviance]

and i thought i was the only one who felt this way.
so glad i am not alone in that.

You are most definitely not alone!! <3

 

[Kajira Callista]

So this is another thread about definitions? Again?

didnt start that way. *shrug* evalution

 

[Sir_Winston54]

So this is another thread about definitions? Again?

didnt start that way. *shrug* evalution

I was gonna say that ^^^, but KC beat me to it. Of course, *she* gets up really early in the morning to go to work...

 

[Kajira Callista]

I was gonna say that ^^^, but KC beat me to it. Of course, *she* gets up really early in the morning to go to work...

yep, right after everyone else calls it a night i am up and in the shower.
I didnt start this thread because i needed definitions...started it because i stopped trying to find one and used that energy to take a big big chance with my heart...and it payed off!

 

[RJMasters]

 

[Kajira Callista]

Hiiiiiiii RJ! *wavesssssssssssss*

 

[RJMasters]

Hiiiiiiii RJ! *wavesssssssssssss*

Howdie.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Anal sex

Some of you who know me for a while know that anal sex became a nightmare to me when it was taken from me in a brutal scary way. For a very long time I could not come to terms with the feelings of being raped and being sub. I was sure that my sexuality was taken from me and was never ever to be gotten back... And then came Daddy.
He knew what happened to me and knew its effects on me. Every step into this relationship was a baby step for me and he never minded, but also never let me take that step backwards when at times I really wanted to.
Anal was not ever going to happen and I was sure of that ...yeah right lol.
We (all three of us) have been working me back into actually enjoying activities involving anal play. I was truly terrified and begged for it to stop more than once. Then all of a sudden i was all wrapped up in all the hotness and good feelings and actually survived play until Daddy got his fill.
Next time was different... Daddy didnt wait when I got scared, he kept doing what HE wanted to do to me. It hurt and I asked for it to stop, he said no. He was fucking my ass brutally hard and I tried to reason with him asking him nicely to stop...he wouldnt. Soon I was in this amazing calm safe warm place loving the hurt and the force he was using...finally realizing the difference between this and what happened to me in the past...and knowing that my Daddy loved me enough to take a chance and attempt to push past my fears and it worked...it ended in the most subspacy extended intense orgasm I have ever had in my life.
He knew I would be fine even when I didnt.
I adore Him and trust all of me with Him
I am His.
I am owned.

 

[MissHolly]

What does owned or owner feel like to you...in your heart?
Do we all struggle with it at times or am i just weird?
How do you know it's the right place to be with the right person?

Being owned is the very best thing that has ever happened in my life. I tell Master all the time...how grateful I am that he found me. He patiently taught me how to be the good sub that I am today...and he rewards me greatly! I know its the right place...and that he is the right person because of how I feel when I am with him. he completes me.

I have experienced the best sex...and natural highs...than ever before.I have discovered that serving him is what I was always meant to do. HOWEVER....the act of total submission has a price. As a strong independent woman...I dislike how needy I have become for his approval. He is as much a part of me as my arm....and the need is real. I feel lost without him when we are apart.