First Poem

[CandiCame]

Hey, this is a poem that I'm writing... it plays in my head like a NIN song, but I don't know how to put beats or anything like that in here- it's also not finished, but give it to me harsh. I'll post the rest as I finish it. Anyway, it's about the day after I first had a "gay experience".


Six in the morning and I'm feeling down
Nothing in my head and nobody around
Haven't been to sleep, kinda feeling tired
Need a shot of caffeine to get me feeling wired
Nicotine in my gum, and slurry in my water
Dopamine in the powder I put on to feel hotter
Alcohol in my coffee to keep me awake
Thinking I might not even leave this place

Nobody around to hear me bitch
But I wanna get out, got a crazy itch
I don't got no sidewalk, got nothing in place
No ones looking for me, don't recognize my face

 

[Angeline]

Hi. Your poem sounds like a song to me, like it needs a guitar and drums, at least.

You have a nice sense of rhythm. You should definitely keep writing!

 

[The_Fool]

Hi. Your poem sounds like a song to me, like it needs a guitar and drums, at least.

You have a nice sense of rhythm. You should definitely keep writing!

Like a blues riff.

 

[CandiCame]

Six in the morning and I'm feeling down
Nothing in my head and nobody around
Haven't been to sleep, kinda feeling tired
Need a shot of caffeine to get me feeling wired
Nicotine in my gum, and slurry in my water
Dopamine in the powder I put on to feel hotter
Alcohol in my coffee to keep me awake
Thinking I might not even leave this place

Nobody around to hear me bitch
But I wanna get out, got a crazy itch
I don't got no sidewalk, got nothing in place
No ones looking for me, don't recognize my face
Wish I could look through them- see what I find
Nothing's coming up, can't hold on to my mind
7 in the morning, can't hold on to thoughts
Feels like there's something that I might have lost-