"Disabled and sexy."

[WillowedCabin]

"Disabled and sexy. Two words that aren’t often used in the same sentence and certainly not in images."

http://www.mamamia.com.au/social/sexy-disabled-clever/

I came across this amazing article about two really sexy and courageous women, attempting to broaden their culture's understanding of sexuality and all things sexaayyy. I must admit, the terms sexy and disabled usually don't go hand in hand in my brain. I think half of the problems with my own sexuality, and perhaps a broader cultural dialogue on sexuality, is that we are limited by our own imaginations.

"Oh, that person has a penis, they must be a man."
"Oh, that person doesn't have a lot of sex, so they must not be sexual".
"Oh, that person's body is misshapen, so they are not sexy or beautiful. They cannot be sexual."

When, in fact, this woman with Freeman-Sheldon syndrome has more profound sexuality in her index finger than most people carry around in full physically capable bodies.

I also love that they redid the controversial American Apparel adverts., calling them on their supposed 'we take photos of normal American women', when in fact all their models are fit and able bodied.

Dear advertising companies and commercial photographers,
I'm tired of seeing the same color of crayon in my box! I'd like to see more people like Jes in my magazines. I want to see diversity, self-love, and blessed humanity in my sexy ads-- and I'd like it NOW!!

PS: Be sure to scroll down to the bottom of the article to pan through the collected photographs and advert shoots

 

[audiodiva]

Thank you for sharing

AMAZING! Thank you for sharing this - couldn't agree more that it is something all ad companies need to consider.

In the past I have worked (vanilla world) & "played" (in my BDSM days) with men and women with disabilities, as well as some transgender folks, but I am just as guilty of making assumptions when it comes to some disabilities & we all need to keep our minds open.

Thank you again,
AD

 

[WillowedCabin]

AMAZING! Thank you for sharing this - couldn't agree more that it is something all ad companies need to consider.

In the past I have worked (vanilla world) & "played" (in my BDSM days) with men and women with disabilities, as well as some transgender folks, but I am just as guilty of making assumptions when it comes to some disabilities & we all need to keep our minds open.

Thank you again,
AD

Hah! You're welcome.

I figured this was the kind of article that Lit could always use more of.

*Also, I've always thought guys in wheelchairs were outrageously sexy. As in, if I'm in a club and see a guy in a wheelchair, I spend my entire night planning how I'm going to approach him. Apparently this is called Abasiophilia (thanks Wikipedia). I don't think I'm alone in my kink...

 

[KoPilot]

These are amazing.

That woman has more of a presence and sexuality than most models in any media campaign I can think of. \m/

 

[Surreal469]

I've actually been with a girl with spina bifida before. She was cute as a button with a great ass and a lot of fun. Especially since she was a virgin! ;-)

I'd do it again

 

[justabrick]

Thank you, thank you, thank you for this thread! It can be rough trying to feel and be sexy in a wheelchair... It's horrible going into a bar (or any other typical singles hangout), which is crowded and designed for people standing up and socializing, and knowing (ok, assuming) that all the women in the bar are focused on the (typical-bodied) men at their eye level.

PS- Surreal, you're right, 'biffers make great lovers...

 

[WillowedCabin]

Thank you, thank you, thank you for this thread! It's rough trying to feel and be sexy in a wheelchair... It's horrible going into a bar (or any other typical singles hangout), which is crowded and designed for people standing up and socializing, and knowing (ok, assuming) that all the women in the bar are focused on the (typical-bodied) men at their eye level.

I've heard of people being attracted to people with disabilities specifically, but never met anyone... You wouldn't happen to be anywhere close to California, wouldja?

PS- Surreal, you're right, 'biffers make great lovers...

It's so interesting to hear your point of view.
I once was at a club, and saw a guy in a wheelchair off to the side; he had been in that spot most of the night with his friends, talking and seemed to be having fun (I had obviously been having a bit of a perv from across the room...). Later that night a couple of girls came up that were drunk and it seemed like they were hitting on the guys. I kept noticing that the girls were leaning on his wheelchair for support because they were tipsy.

Now, everyone is different, and obviously I cannot really understand his point of view or what he thought about that. But if it were me, it would piss me off if a couple drunk girls were leaning on my chair. It seemed like there was a lack of consciousness that this person's wheelchair was a part of his mobility and his daily life. By leaning on it, it seemed like they were in his personal space. Then again, maybe I'm just being snotty (and jealous, since I never did work up the courage to go hit on him).

And no darling,
I don't live anywhere near Cali... sorry love. But I'm sure my kink isn't that special, right? Surely there must be more people out there.

 

[Boundlife]

It's so interesting to hear your point of view.
I once was at a club, and saw a guy in a wheelchair off to the side; he had been in that spot most of the night with his friends, talking and seemed to be having fun (I had obviously been having a bit of a perv from across the room...). Later that night a couple of girls came up that were drunk and it seemed like they were hitting on the guys. I kept noticing that the girls were leaning on his wheelchair for support because they were tipsy.

Now, everyone is different, and obviously I cannot really understand his point of view or what he thought about that. But if it were me, it would piss me off if a couple drunk girls were leaning on my chair. It seemed like there was a lack of consciousness that this person's wheelchair was a part of his mobility and his daily life. By leaning on it, it seemed like they were in his personal space.

I think it would depend on if they were flirting with him or treating him like a piece of furniture. My chair has power tilt and I don't like leaners. If they were ignoring him you might have missed a great opportunity

 

[justabrick]

I think it would depend on if they were flirting with him or treating him like a piece of furniture. My chair has power tilt and I don't like leaners. If they were ignoring him you might have missed a great opportunity

I totally agree... Few people seem to think it's ok to touch my chair, other than close friends and family. I take it as a sign of being comfortable around me... and alcohol tends to make people more comfortable around each other, for sure It's just like anyone else- no one likes physical contact with someone they don't want to have physical contact with. On average, I'd say people who use wheelchairs (etc) don't get as much physical attention as others.

 

[WillowedCabin]

A plea for advice,

"You know with people like us, we still have the desire and need and for the most part all equipment is still in working order, but the problem is with the pace and stamina that is needed for sexual fun. Myself, still love sex and all it brings, but the problem being finding someone of the opposite sex that understands that things have to go slower pace and that normal positions just don't work because of the stamina issue. When you start to breathe hard and get winded easy it freaks them out.
So if you have any type of suggestions or any helpful tips it would be helpful to hear what they are if you have any."

This was a quote from a pm I received, asking for help on this issue. As I am not anything of a sex specialist I decided to keep this person anonymous and turn the issue to the board in general.
(But don't worry, this person knows I was going to do this... I'm not a TOTAL bitch )
This person has a lung issue, where due to an illness, they have destroyed half of their lungs. So to maintain their oxygen levels, they need to take things at a slower pace... and they need someone to understand that and work with it.

This is what I responded with:
"...disability is really just like anything else in life. If you are with someone you trust and are comfortable with, try talking things out. What you feel like, what you would like to overcome, where you would like to go, what you are afraid of/worried about...etc. Then once you've talked, start playing around (having explained that you need to take things at a slower pace). Love your body as it is; and make sure you find someone who is willing to love your body as well..."

Was I wrong? pretentious?
Is there anyone out there with better advice?

 

[paulthewetcd]

Defects, deformities, and scars: My Fetishes

Great thread! I have a deformed pelvis and penis, with lots of scars. I have often become aroused seeing people who are in wheelchairs, amputees, even mastectomies....am I odd?...the deformities and scars get me excited...but it is difficult to find much erotic art or photography (not to mention porn flicks) that cater to my fetishes. Fortunately, I have a playful wife who lets me explore...

 

[Little_Oral_Amy]

I was watching youtube videos of a documentary about men with disabilities. There was a place in Denmark or the like that had a brothel that the sex workers specialized is servicing men with disabilities.

 

[justabrick]

I was watching youtube videos of a documentary about men with disabilities. There was a place in Denmark or the like that had a brothel that the sex workers specialized is servicing men with disabilities.

Yeah, I think I saw that, too.

Great thread! I have a deformed pelvis and penis, with lots of scars. I have often become aroused seeing people who are in wheelchairs, amputees, even mastectomies....am I odd?...the deformities and scars get me excited...but it is difficult to find much erotic art or photography (not to mention porn flicks) that cater to my fetishes. Fortunately, I have a playful wife who lets me explore...

We're all a little odd in our own ways, my friend No one's 'normal' in this life.

 

[Boundlife]

I totally agree... Few people seem to think it's ok to touch my chair, other than close friends and family. I take it as a sign of being comfortable around me... and alcohol tends to make people more comfortable around each other, for sure It's just like anyone else- no one likes physical contact with someone they don't want to have physical contact with. On average, I'd say people who use wheelchairs (etc) don't get as much physical attention as others.

When I used a cane I got the looks and stuff, but I was often offered a hand up from sitting and I could grab a guys arm for support when walking(I miss that). It was when I got my walker that the force field sprung up. Now when I drive past people hug the walls. Of course there are always the strangers who want to push you

 

[Boundlife]

Great thread! I have a deformed pelvis and penis, with lots of scars. I have often become aroused seeing people who are in wheelchairs, amputees, even mastectomies....am I odd?...the deformities and scars get me excited...but it is difficult to find much erotic art or photography (not to mention porn flicks) that cater to my fetishes. Fortunately, I have a playful wife who lets me explore...

The sites for these fetishes that I could find don't even let you have a peek until you sign up. I didn't go there. I was mostly looking for proof that I was some guys wet dream.
If your into scars I've got a nice one from the back of my head to between my sholder blades
(Just teasing )

 

[dudeinachair]

From my own experiences of growing up as a paraplegic, I have often found that my wheelchair has been a very good ice breaker in meeting women who are more open minded to trying new things. Plus if they cant deal with the chair how the hell are they going to cope with legbags and catheters? If someone cant cope I have just learned to move on and not engage with them. All of my long term relationships have ended up both of us experimenting in new areas of sex.

The more I think back on things the more I tend to think that it is more about your own attitude to your disability than other people's. In my experience people pick up on your personality more than your disability and respond to that more than your disability. I have friends who see life as difficult and are generally down beat about having a disability, as such they have shut themselves away from society and people find it difficult to engage with them. If you see yourself as sexy your more likely to come across that way with people who meet you.

I'm not suggesting that people her are like this i'm just talking about my own experience.

 

[paulthewetcd]

The sites for these fetishes that I could find don't even let you have a peek until you sign up. I didn't go there. I was mostly looking for proof that I was some guys wet dream.
If your into scars I've got a nice one from the back of my head to between my sholder blades
(Just teasing )

Since I work in NYC, I have found some worhtwhile porn in stores. Plus there's Craigslist. But not enough variety....
And I am sure there is someone for whom you can be a star of their wet dream! (Send me a PM if you want to be in mine! )

 

[paulthewetcd]

From my own experiences of growing up as a paraplegic, I have often found that my wheelchair has been a very good ice breaker in meeting women who are more open minded to trying new things. Plus if they cant deal with the chair how the hell are they going to cope with legbags and catheters? If someone cant cope I have just learned to move on and not engage with them. All of my long term relationships have ended up both of us experimenting in new areas of sex.

The more I think back on things the more I tend to think that it is more about your own attitude to your disability than other people's. In my experience people pick up on your personality more than your disability and respond to that more than your disability. I have friends who see life as difficult and are generally down beat about having a disability, as such they have shut themselves away from society and people find it difficult to engage with them. If you see yourself as sexy your more likely to come across that way with people who meet you.

I'm not suggesting that people her are like this i'm just talking about my own experience.

My scars and incontinence have turned some women off, but those who are not scared away....

 

[paulthewetcd]

Yeah, I think I saw that, too.



We're all a little odd in our own ways, my friend No one's 'normal' in this life.

Yes, "normal" is relative...I am "creative and playful" to some and a "pervert" to others....

 

[WillowedCabin]

Perv. Jane perv. See Jane perv. Perv Jane, perv!

Great thread! I have a deformed pelvis and penis, with lots of scars. I have often become aroused seeing people who are in wheelchairs, amputees, even mastectomies....am I odd?...the deformities and scars get me excited...but it is difficult to find much erotic art or photography (not to mention porn flicks) that cater to my fetishes. Fortunately, I have a playful wife who lets me explore...

The sites for these fetishes that I could find don't even let you have a peek until you sign up. I didn't go there. I was mostly looking for proof that I was some guys wet dream.
If your into scars I've got a nice one from the back of my head to between my sholder blades
(Just teasing )

Attention paulthewetcd and Boundlife
(and all other lovely different people reading this thread):

I absolutely must ask this--
(but let me say that voyeurism is a specific kink set
and by no means you must want/need to fulfill this request
even if I pout and stamp my feet)

Would you ever consider posting some photos of yourselves in this thread?
It could just be snippets of your body as well;
shots of yummy scars or maybe your smokin' wheels--
up to you (or the perv requests of this blog)

I'm going to kick it off with the smoking hot Aimee Mullins

http://norwegiancatwalk.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/aimee-mullins.jpg?w=700
http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/146/67298851.png/
http://newpensiwareland.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/mullins_aimee.jpg
http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/8/2010/05/aimeemullinsglamour.jpg
http://www.amsvans.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/aimee_mullins_beach_shot_2400x340.jpg
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fTO_uwbjnvw/TRCXxclNz3I/AAAAAAAADcE/mw8GYORPDdk/s1600/AIMEE+MULLINS.jpg
http://zeynepkinli.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/aimee-mullins-legs.jpg

“'Pamela Anderson has more implants than I do but no-one sees her as disabled!'

Aimee Mullins - (born 1976 in Allentown, Pennsylvania) is an American athlete, actress, and fashion model best known for her extraordinary collegiate-level athletic accomplishments, despite a disability that resulted in the amputation of both of her legs. She was born with fibular hemimelia (missing fibula bones) and had both of her legs amputated below the knee when she was just one year old. While attending Georgetown University she competed against able-bodied athletes in NCAA Division I track and field events and set Paralympic records in 1996 in Atlanta in the 100-meter dash and the long jump. She says she will have realized one of her ambitions when people describe her as “Aimee Mullins, the model”, rather than “Aimee Mullins, the disabled model”.'
-Blog, sexismandthecity

 

[WillowedCabin]

Oops!

I just realized I made a very excluding no-no!

If you have a disability that is not so visually stimulating, I wouldn't want to throw you off the island either! We would just have to be more creative...

For example, my anonymous friend with the lung problem could hypothetically post a sound file of his heavy breathing after touching himself (HAWTHAWTHAWT)
or if someone who has vision problems wants to post their most erotic sensations (touch, sound, etc) i.e. talking about their own unique sensuality, that would absolutely be fantastic as well!

The world is our disabled, perverted oyster!!!*

*Hah! Who wants t-shirts of that?

 

[paulthewetcd]

Instant Erection!

Attention paulthewetcd and Boundlife
(and all other lovely different people reading this thread):

I absolutely must ask this--
(but let me say that voyeurism is a specific kink set
and by no means you must want/need to fulfill this request
even if I pout and stamp my feet)

Would you ever consider posting some photos of yourselves in this thread?
It could just be snippets of your body as well;
shots of yummy scars or maybe your smokin' wheels--
up to you (or the perv requests of this blog)

I'm going to kick it off with the smoking hot Aimee Mullins

http://norwegiancatwalk.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/aimee-mullins.jpg?w=700
http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/146/67298851.png/
http://newpensiwareland.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/mullins_aimee.jpg
http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/8/2010/05/aimeemullinsglamour.jpg
http://www.amsvans.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/aimee_mullins_beach_shot_2400x340.jpg
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fTO_uwbjnvw/TRCXxclNz3I/AAAAAAAADcE/mw8GYORPDdk/s1600/AIMEE+MULLINS.jpg
http://zeynepkinli.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/aimee-mullins-legs.jpg

“'Pamela Anderson has more implants than I do but no-one sees her as disabled!'

Aimee Mullins - (born 1976 in Allentown, Pennsylvania) is an American athlete, actress, and fashion model best known for her extraordinary collegiate-level athletic accomplishments, despite a disability that resulted in the amputation of both of her legs. She was born with fibular hemimelia (missing fibula bones) and had both of her legs amputated below the knee when she was just one year old. While attending Georgetown University she competed against able-bodied athletes in NCAA Division I track and field events and set Paralympic records in 1996 in Atlanta in the 100-meter dash and the long jump. She says she will have realized one of her ambitions when people describe her as “Aimee Mullins, the model”, rather than “Aimee Mullins, the disabled model”.'
-Blog, sexismandthecity

Thanks for these great photos!
I will consider posting....

 

[Ex Princess]

I've always wondered about fucking a man in a wheelchair...

 

[Ex Princess]

I think my curiosity began while watching the episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, where Charlie breaks his legs and is in a wheelchair. He goes to a strip club and gets all of the stripper love...

 

[dudeinachair]

I'm happy to share. Guess I have a bit of an exhibitionist streak in me.

http://img105.imagevenue.com/loc137/th_28479_KN_123_137lo.jpg

not sure if this will work.