Not Sure what to do.

[crogersaz]

I don't like the idea of hurting or demeaning a woman. I mostly like to give pleasure to a woman. I think I'd like to try being submissive to a woman, but Ilm not thrilled about the idea of pain - it just doesn't turn me on. I could be completely obedient, otherwise. Is there room for this kind of fetish?
Help me out ladies.

 

[anneski]

I don't like the idea of hurting or demeaning a woman. I mostly like to give pleasure to a woman. I think I'd like to try being submissive to a woman, but Ilm not thrilled about the idea of pain - it just doesn't turn me on. I could be completely obedient, otherwise. Is there room for this kind of fetish?
Help me out ladies.

Of course there is! D/s doesn't HAVE to be all about pain, there are plenty of relationships that don't include pain to any degree.

Don't forget the one thing that holds true above anything you may read about 'true subs/doms' (or, as we pisstakers like to say, 'Twue' ) and all that malarky - at the end of the day we are all people, and people are diverse, so there is NO 'one size fits all' for any relationship.

Relax, explore, enjoy

 

[seela]

I don't like the idea of hurting or demeaning a woman. I mostly like to give pleasure to a woman. I think I'd like to try being submissive to a woman, but Ilm not thrilled about the idea of pain - it just doesn't turn me on. I could be completely obedient, otherwise. Is there room for this kind of fetish?
Help me out ladies.

There's definitely room for you, don't worry! BDSM isn't a one size fits all type of deal, and there are plenty of people who don't care for pain one way or another. You don't have to like all aspects of BDSM; you can pick and choose what suits you best. So if pain is not your thing, then you don't have to encage in painplay. Just make sure to find a partner, for whom painplay is not essential, if it's something you are not willing to do.

Welcome to Lit!

 

[crogersaz]

Thanks Anneski

Thanks for quick, kind words. (I hope I spelled your name correctly. If you know any women who match my proclivities, direct them my way. Care to pm, just to chat?

 

[anneski]

Thanks for quick, kind words. (I hope I spelled your name correctly. If you know any women who match my proclivities, direct them my way. Care to pm, just to chat?

I don't mind chatting, always happy to help if I can

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Of course there is! D/s doesn't HAVE to be all about pain, there are plenty of relationships that don't include pain to any degree.

Well no, cos D/s is about dominance and submission. S/M is about pain.

But yeah, there's room for you. You just have to find a partner who likes the same things as you. It's the same with anything else. Would you, if you were a cat lover, get with someone who hated cats? Probably not. Matching kinks is no different.

You don't have to worry about conforming to some ideal that porn tells you is how bdsm type things should be.

 

[DeltaLove]

Is there room for this kind of fetish?

Honey, there is room for all kinds of fetish That's kind of the point...

 

[anneski]

Well no, cos D/s is about dominance and submission. S/M is about pain.

But yeah, there's room for you. You just have to find a partner who likes the same things as you. It's the same with anything else. Would you, if you were a cat lover, get with someone who hated cats? Probably not. Matching kinks is no different.

You don't have to worry about conforming to some ideal that porn tells you is how bdsm type things should be.

And that's kind of why I used D/s, cos I don't think the OP knows enough about this to recognise the difference, and obviously he wouldn't be into S&M

 

[Stella_Omega]

If you are looking for a face to face encounter, my suggestion is that you join fetlife.com, and look for groups in your area. Go to munches, meet people.

At the same time, look for vanilla women too, because ANY woman would love to have an attentive lover!

 

[Stella_Omega]

It's takenme THIS long to track down the name of thebook, but I've found it at last:
How To Capture A Mistress

I read through it this weekend-- and I've just put my order on for a copy, EVEN though I'm not so much in the market for a Mistress myself. Good book, with a lot of emphasis on communication and exploration.

 

[Noira]

It's takenme THIS long to track down the name of thebook, but I've found it at last:
How To Capture A Mistress

I read through it this weekend-- and I've just put my order on for a copy, EVEN though I'm not so much in the market for a Mistress myself. Good book, with a lot of emphasis on communication and exploration.

Read the Amazon excerpt... looks like a killer book!

Anyway, of course there's room for non-masochistic subs! D/s isn't one-size-fits-all, as much as some people would love it to be... there's room for all shapes and sizes of kinksters.

 

[satindesire]

I will pop in here and kind of say a quick warning...it's usually difficult if not downright impossible to find a suitable partner for a submissive male, because you outnumber your target demographic pretty steeply.

Since female dommes have the pick of the litter, you've got a lot of personal improvement ahead of you. But don't worry, it's much like finding your perfect vanilla mate, you'll find her when you're meant to find her.

 

[Rembrandt500]

I empathize with the OP