Fmature2play
TOPLESS season (my car)
- Joined
- Nov 25, 2010
- Posts
- 1,513
I miss Paul Lynde a lot. Very funny stuff thanks. 
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... the judge granted temporary custody to the English Cricket Team, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.
OK, this JUST happened yesterday...an incidental double meaning....by my GF...
At her work, a co-worker stated that, due to a private gathering at her house this coiming weekend to celebrate her fathers life (just passed away), that she needed to do some serious weed whacking....that the weeds had grown taller than her.
My GF then said, "Did any baseball players start walking out of the weeds?" in reference to Field of Dreams.
The co-worker laughed and said, "Not yet...but maybe someday..."
To which my GF said (unintentionally funny) -
"If you whack it, they will come."
Everybody howled....

Paul Lynde had such a snarky laugh - I can hear it!
Senior Texting Code
ATD: At The Doctor’s
BFF: Best Friend Fell
BTW: Bring The Wheelchair
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM: Covered By Medicare
CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center
DWI: Driving While Incontinent
FWBB: Friend With Beta Blockers
FWIW: Forgot Where I Was
FYI: Found Your Insulin
GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low
GHA: Got Heartburn Again
IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL: Living On Lipitor
OMMR: On My Massage Recliner
OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas.
ROFL: CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing… And Can’t Get Up
TTYL: Talk To You Louder
WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?
WTP: Where’s The Prunes?
WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil
GGLKI: Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In
Thank you for sharing them.NAG NAG NAG!
An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution for a client who was due to be hanged for murder at midnight. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.
As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, 'What time of night to be getting home is this? Where have you been? Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it'. And on and on and on.
Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he went and poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs.
While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told that her husband's client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all. Wright would not be hanged tonight. Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news. As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.
'They're not hanging Wright tonight,' she said.
To which he whirled around and screamed, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WOMAN, DON'T YOU EVER STOP?

Hope you have a wonderful weekend too.SAD NEWS.....Please join me in remembering YET ANOTHER great icon.
The Pillsbury Dough boy died yesterday of a yeast infection & traumatic complications from repeated pokes to the belly.
He was 81. Dough boy is survived by his wife..Play Dough & 3 children...
John Dough..Jane Dough & Dill Dough...plus they had one in the oven.
*Services was held @ 3:50 for about 20 mins!!
Love this thread: DON'T LET IT DIE.
Man said he had only been hurt twice in his life.
1. He was in the woods and had to take a shit so he went behind a bush and was when he dropped his pants and sat down on a trappers trap.
2. The second time was when the slack went out of the chain.