Consensual Domestic Type Violence & Subjugation

[fuckmeat]

Disclaimer: This is in no way a discussion about domestic abuse, which is a crime rightly punishable by law. No glorification of domestic abuse will be tolerated here.

This is about the kind of acts of violence that get me hot, and which can be administered in a (mostly) controlled way by a dominant/sadist who understands this need in me.

I am a sub/maso who identifies as a slave. I was a slave for 4 years to my last partner and have been single for nearly a year. I've never been much into the props 'n' protocol style of (safe, sane, consensual or SSC) BDSM. Bondage and implements seem to detach me from my partner somehow. They have their place but nothing gets me hotter than what someone can do to me with their bare hands... or fists. The acts I'm alluding to here include stuff like: -

Face slapping/backhand/spanking in general
Choking/asphyxia
Pinning/restraining with bare hands, strength and weight
Hair pulling
Forced oral/face-rape/face-sitting
Groping/scratching/biting/squeezing etc
Punching
Kicking
Being bodily shoved/thrown
Control of basic necessities; diet, sanitation, comfort, warmth, workload/exercise/movement, rest/sleep, contact with others etc

Extensions of this, for me as someone who craves humiliation are things like spitting, golden showers, facials etc. I have strong kinks for verbal humiliation, mockery, objectification, degradation... you name it.

I have a much higher tolerance to 'thuddy' pain than 'stingy' pain, if that makes any sense. My last long term partner was female but although the size/strength disparity wasn't considerable, I could still tolerate and even enjoy a great deal of violence from her. Obviously a guy would need to apply more restraint but I have really strong kinks for appalling treatment. It worries me.

I'm the kind of slave who needs to be subjugated, who needs real and prescient fear. What I don't need are clear rules and boundaries or fairness. I need unpredictability and caprice in a dominant, to be at the mercy of their every whim. I'm not talking mindless thuggery here either. The dominant I crave is highly intelligent, sardonic, devious, cruel and downright malevolent. S/he is someone who will gleefully throw open the oubliette of my soul to amuse themselves with my darkest memories and deepest insecurities.

If I won the lottery and became a multi-millionaire tomorrow, all I would truly want would be the right dominant/sadist to keep me as their possession. Being a rich person's slave would arguably be better than being a poor person's slave but beyond that, I really would not care. It's such a deep fantasy/need in me that I don't really have any other powerful life goals any more. I'm not even terrifically motivated career-wise or anything like that.

So, on a scale of 1 to irretrievably fucked in the head...

Am I alone in this?

 

[Texguy84]

You're probably not the only one. I'm into administering the milder half of that list, and could probably be properly encouraged into getting into the other half (I have a side to my personality that a lover of mine calls "The Big Bad Wolf". I usually keep him properly locked up, but sometimes I let him out to play)

 

[rosco rathbone]

Good stuff. I call it "sexy domestic violence". We're all supposed to hate domestic violence, and that of course makes it more fun.

 

[Diana1488]

We have a friend, a lady in her 20s, who likes this stuff. We did it with her a few times - the first time it was hard to hit her, it seemed unnatural to me, but I can do it now. I enjoy choking her.

 

[thestruggle]

I completely understand what you're talking about. I like to be controlled, I like to be disciplined (harshly). Probably not even disciplined but just rough treatment in general. Once I wheedled a partner or two into choking/spitting it was over for me. Now it just seems almost, well, natural to me sexually. I've definitely had a lot of "You actually LIKE this?" but now that I've found a partner that is willing to participate in these particular kinks of mine I think I'm really fucked (heh) for vanilla sex. I don't want to be given hours of oral sex and a bouquet of flowers: I want to be slapped, scratched, bruised, and humiliated.

I still get these moments where I think about the things I want done to me. Like, what would people think of my boyfriend if they knew he did this stuff to me? FOR me? He was completely vanilla before I told him what I enjoyed and he's not a violent person at all. It's sort of bewildering. He's been incredibly respectful of what I'm into and he really seems to like the dominance just on his own now, but I could be wrong. Maybe secretly he thinks I'm a super pervert-but at least he's punishing me for it.

I don't know you or your life in general but I can really identify with the whole slave concept. Maybe that makes me lazy/fucked up but yeah, if I had the money/time I would probably be setting myself up as a nice little pet for someone willing to satiate this submissive streak in me. I can't really afford to do that but I suppose I can keep dreaming. I think maybe a lot of it has to do with missing your mistress? Filling a space that was formerly so cared for... I'm very sorry. I think that would be incredibly difficult. I hope that you find what you're seeking: from one masochist to another.

btw, I've read some of your writing: I think it's wonderful. Just thought I would also add that.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Hands up everyone who has read one of those "Is Your Boyfriend Abusive?" checklists and said "heh..."

 

[thestruggle]

Hands up everyone who has read one of those "Is Your Boyfriend Abusive?" checklists and said "heh..."

Yeah, I can hear it now. "I swear she WANTED those marks there, Officer."

 

[rosco rathbone]

Yeah, I can hear it now. "I swear she WANTED those marks there, Officer."

That's no joke when you live in an apartment building!

 

[Very_Bad_Man]

Disclaimer: This is in no way a discussion about domestic abuse, which is a crime rightly punishable by law. No glorification of domestic abuse will be tolerated here.

This is about the kind of acts of violence that get me hot, and which can be administered in a (mostly) controlled way by a dominant/sadist who understands this need in me.

I am a sub/maso who identifies as a slave. I was a slave for 4 years to my last partner and have been single for nearly a year. I've never been much into the props 'n' protocol style of (safe, sane, consensual or SSC) BDSM. Bondage and implements seem to detach me from my partner somehow. They have their place but nothing gets me hotter than what someone can do to me with their bare hands... or fists. The acts I'm alluding to here include stuff like: -

Face slapping/backhand/spanking in general
Choking/asphyxia
Pinning/restraining with bare hands, strength and weight
Hair pulling
Forced oral/face-rape/face-sitting
Groping/scratching/biting/squeezing etc
Punching
Kicking
Being bodily shoved/thrown
Control of basic necessities; diet, sanitation, comfort, warmth, workload/exercise/movement, rest/sleep, contact with others etc

Extensions of this, for me as someone who craves humiliation are things like spitting, golden showers, facials etc. I have strong kinks for verbal humiliation, mockery, objectification, degradation... you name it.

I have a much higher tolerance to 'thuddy' pain than 'stingy' pain, if that makes any sense. My last long term partner was female but although the size/strength disparity wasn't considerable, I could still tolerate and even enjoy a great deal of violence from her. Obviously a guy would need to apply more restraint but I have really strong kinks for appalling treatment. It worries me.

I'm the kind of slave who needs to be subjugated, who needs real and prescient fear. What I don't need are clear rules and boundaries or fairness. I need unpredictability and caprice in a dominant, to be at the mercy of their every whim. I'm not talking mindless thuggery here either. The dominant I crave is highly intelligent, sardonic, devious, cruel and downright malevolent. S/he is someone who will gleefully throw open the oubliette of my soul to amuse themselves with my darkest memories and deepest insecurities.

If I won the lottery and became a multi-millionaire tomorrow, all I would truly want would be the right dominant/sadist to keep me as their possession. Being a rich person's slave would arguably be better than being a poor person's slave but beyond that, I really would not care. It's such a deep fantasy/need in me that I don't really have any other powerful life goals any more. I'm not even terrifically motivated career-wise or anything like that.

So, on a scale of 1 to irretrievably fucked in the head...

Am I alone in this?

I call the above Foreplay.

 

[bigReadingMan]

Confused

Hi sweety, for a lady who enjoys such abuse, your face appears so lovely and unblemished in your profile pic. Thanks for being so brave,anyway.

 

[WriterBlocked]

Hands up everyone who has read one of those "Is Your Boyfriend Abusive?" checklists and said "heh..."

My partner came at me with on of those lists last year, she had a lot of fun pointing out all the ways I would be abusive if what we did wasn't consentual. I, on the other hand, was mortified. It isn't as if I hadn't put two and two together before. But to hear it all laid out was pretty sobering. I still haven't quite gotten over it.