My wife is very dominant in life but she wants

[CoupleFromOhio]

me to dominate her. She wants me to lead and take control. She mentioned she wants to take a break and desired to be told what to do. We played "BDSM" but she wants more than that. I am not a dominant guy but I do know how to lead and wow my wife.

Have any wives here have similar experiences? Are there any guys here who are submissive nature at the request of their wives/girlfriend to be more dominant?

I don't come here often. Mostly on the weekends.

I like to hear your experiences and point me to resources for me to learn how to be more dominate.

Thanks.

 

[subwannabe]

Have her search through the stories here or find videos of what she wants and have you read/watch them. That really is the best way. Everyone wants to be dominated in a different way and what is on the mind of one is not necessarily on the mind of the other. Only she knows what she really wants. She will hate having to explain everything to you all the time as she wants it to be spontaneous but let her know you need her to steer you in the right direction in the beginning and you will promise to take it from there with your own ideas.

 

[Chiara_searches]

I'm not a wife, but when I was, things just didn't work. Part of the blame lays clearly at my feet. There were too many problems to name here. But one problem was how we related sexually even though we regularly had vanilla sex until just a few weeks before he moved out. I am usually very much in control in my professional life and many aspects of my personal life, but what I craved (without being able to articulate it then) was to give up control in one aspect of my life.

I really wish I could find it, but someone on another thread yesterday said it something along these lines: it brings a balance to be controlling in one part of a life and lacking in control in another. (My apologies to the original author both on not being able to find the phrase to give you due credit and for not articulating it as well. The comment about balance made me ponder, again.)

I'm not really answering your OP, but I hope you are able to help your wife find that balance it sounds like she may be craving. It makes me happy that you two are able to talk about those kinds of things. It's what I now strive for. Kudos to you for wanting to help her.

 

[CoupleFromOhio]

Thanks for sharing. I just want to make sure that there are other women out there who desires the same as my wife's. I want to be comfortable dominating her since I do not have a dominate personality. I am dominate in many areas but my own marriage. I always believed that my wife and I are egual in every aspects including sex.

Its good to hear other women who wants the same.

I like to read stories written by women explaining why they wanted to be dominated and how.

 

[RandallKinds]

Thanks for sharing. I just want to make sure that there are other women out there who desires the same as my wife's. I want to be comfortable dominating her since I do not have a dominate personality. I am dominate in many areas but my own marriage. I always believed that my wife and I are egual in every aspects including sex.

Its good to hear other women who wants the same.

I like to read stories written by women explaining why they wanted to be dominated and how.

You know, I've made the same argument to my wife: that I have to be on control all freaking day long and it'd be nice, every once in a while, for her to take charge and relinquish that control in the bedroom. Conversely, she enjoys being controlled in such situations as well. Which is fine by me, it's very erotic to have your loved one squirming and moaning trying to anticipate what might come next. It's all good - have fun with it!

 

[Chiara_searches]

Thanks for sharing. I just want to make sure that there are other women out there who desires the same as my wife's. I want to be comfortable dominating her since I do not have a dominate personality. I am dominate in many areas but my own marriage. I always believed that my wife and I are egual in every aspects including sex.

Its good to hear other women who wants the same.

I like to read stories written by women explaining why they wanted to be dominated and how.

Everybody's play book is different; so there will be varying degrees of what other women out there want. But I have identified myself as a feminist for probably 24 years now; and I now also identify myself as sexually submissive. I don't feel that I'm the only one who thinks this way.

While sorting myself out after my divorce, I was lucky enough to start a correspondence with an author on another site. In my exchanges with him, he pointed out there are healthy equal/non-equivalent relationships. If you and your partner are on equal ground in many aspects of your marriage, you can still have a non-equivalence in your sexual relationship. Taking time to analyze the reasons for this and to communicate is essential; it should be a continuous, ongoing process because we all evolve as life goes on.

All that I've learned from my friend may not work exactly for me; but he's given me a great many things to think about. The limited ways I've followed through on those ideas makes it clear that for me sexual submission answers the craving I couldn't (wouldn't?) recognize while I was married. When I think about what a small section of the population actually posts on Lit, extrapolating from there indicates there are many women who crave this. Your wife just happens to be enough in touch with herself to articulate it.

 

[CoupleFromOhio]

Thanks everyone. I found some good stories and poems. I believe I have a plan to approach my wife and go from there.