The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[vrosej10]

Which is hidden behind some cloudy seas.


I put in a No 2 Pozi screwdriver

I hold up a 7-11 with it. 'I need chocolate now or the clerk dies!!!'


I put in a handmade lace handkerchief and a nice sample of vintage pornhttp://vintagestockingporn.com/vintagestockingsphotos/VictorianWomaninStockingsMasturbating_10B1D/012.jpg

 

[Tio_Narratore]

I hold up a 7-11 with it. 'I need chocolate now or the clerk dies!!!'


I put in a handmade lace handkerchief and a nice sample of vintage pornhttp://vintagestockingporn.com/vintagestockingsphotos/VictorianWomaninStockingsMasturbating_10B1D/012.jpg

and the handkerchief comes in handy for daubing after the vintage porn.

I put in a collection of Bettie Page posters...

 

[Noor]

and the handkerchief comes in handy for daubing after the vintage porn.

I put in a collection of Bettie Page posters...

and you get a decent print of Pandora's Box with subtitles

I put in a long curly strawberry blond wig

 

[vrosej10]

and you get a decent print of Pandora's Box with subtitles

I put in a long curly strawberry blond wig

and I offer you a lend of my electric violet emo wig.

I put in a selection of Manic Panic goth make up.

 

[vrosej10]

mega bump

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and I offer you a lend of my electric violet emo wig.

I put in a selection of Manic Panic goth make up.

and, after frenzied negotiations, we find the Visigoths and the Ostrogoths have made up, and ended their bitter separation.

I put in a city susceptible to sacking...

 

[vrosej10]

and, after frenzied negotiations, we find the Visigoths and the Ostrogoths have made up, and ended their bitter separation.

I put in a city susceptible to sacking...

And I put in the huge amount of hessian, bagging needles and thread needed to complete the job.

I put in 2kg of corn and a fat and happy rat.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And I put in the huge amount of hessian, bagging needles and thread needed to complete the job.

I put in 2kg of corn and a fat and happy rat.

and you get a new pandemic of Bubonic Plague.

I put in a Journal for the coming Year...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you get a new pandemic of Bubonic Plague.

I put in a Journal for the coming Year...

And, you leave a few pages blank for surprises to come.

I put in a map folded neatly.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And, you leave a few pages blank for surprises to come.

I put in a map folded neatly.

and you get a bunch of lost tourists.

I put in an illegible railway guide...

 

[vrosej10]

and you get a bunch of lost tourists.

I put in an illegible railway guide...

and you get a gun and directions to the home of the idiot who designed it.


i put in a bus timetable that is right once every six weeks.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you get a gun and directions to the home of the idiot who designed it.


i put in a bus timetable that is right once every six weeks.

and you get better odds of catching your bus than winning the slots.

I put in a stochastic schedule generator for public transit...

 

[vrosej10]

and you get better odds of catching your bus than winning the slots.

I put in a stochastic schedule generator for public transit...

and you get a confused look.

I put in a chorus of choreographed mice in hamster balls.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you get a confused look.

I put in a chorus of choreographed mice in hamster balls.

and you get thanked for returning the stochastic schedule generator.

I put in a new, unsynchronised schedule of buses, trains, and trolleys...

 

[vrosej10]

and you get thanked for returning the stochastic schedule generator.

I put in a new, unsynchronised schedule of buses, trains, and trolleys...

And you get an angry mob, all late for work, appointments etc


I put in a steak for the black eye you are going to get.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And you get an angry mob, all late for work, appointments etc


I put in a steak for the black eye you are going to get.

and the steak gets co-opted for the barbie while I keep the shiner.

I put in an ice cold lager...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and the steak gets co-opted for the barbie while I keep the shiner.

I put in an ice cold lager...

and, you get the beginning of a relaxing weekend.

I put in a tray full of munchies and a whole pitcher of beer!

 

[Handley_Page]

and, you get the beginning of a relaxing weekend.

I put in a tray full of munchies and a whole pitcher of beer!

and you get a relaxed sigh and gentle snores.


I put in a relaxing chair

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you get a relaxed sigh and gentle snores.


I put in a relaxing chair

and it gets charged with loitering.

I put in an unfolded hypercube for a seat...

 

[vrosej10]

and it gets charged with loitering.

I put in an unfolded hypercube for a seat...

and you get the resulting backache.

i put in some gorgeous slub silk floor cushions in emerald and magenta.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you get the resulting backache.

i put in some gorgeous slub silk floor cushions in emerald and magenta.

and you find a naked body reclining sensuously upon them.

I put in a fireplace and a bottle of Chianti...

 

[vrosej10]

and you find a naked body reclining sensuously upon them.

I put in a fireplace and a bottle of Chianti...

and you get a surprise when this makes you realise that your boss fancies you.


I put in a letter of resignation with a naked photo attached.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you get a surprise when this makes you realise that your boss fancies you.


I put in a letter of resignation with a naked photo attached.

and your reply letter concludes with "You know, Louis, this could be the start of a beautiful friendship."

I put in a night in Casablanca...

 

[Handley_Page]

and your reply letter concludes with "You know, Louis, this could be the start of a beautiful friendship."

I put in a night in Casablanca...

It would have been very nice had it not been for the annoying protesters and their noisy guns and the odd tank joining in.


I put in a field gun

 

[YoursSINSerely]

It would have been very nice had it not been for the annoying protesters and their noisy guns and the odd tank joining in.


I put in a field gun

And the soldier get's a field of dreams.

I put in a spring baseball game in sunny Florida.