New adventures for me and my subby hubby

[BellaIsabella]

My husband is extreamely submissive, and I take a lot of pleasure in being his domme. He is very much into pain and also humiliation. We have tried a lot of things, but would love some suggestions of more that we might have not tried yet.

 

[Wildcat2222]

Do you make him watch you and others?

 

[BellaIsabella]

He told me he wants me to tie him up and watch me have sex with another man, my question is, would this be another sub man?

 

[Stella_Omega]

He told me he wants me to tie him up and watch me have sex with another man, my question is, would this be another sub man?

That would be up to you.

Right?

Cuckoldry is some wierd shit, from my understanding of it. Some men prefer that the other guy be aggressive and macho, so they they can feel like an emasculated worm by comparison. They call the other men "bulls."

Some men prefer the other man to be submissive to their wife in the way that they feel themselves to be, so that they can concentrate on worshiping the Goddess that Is their wife.

And some men are really waiting for their wife to conveniently order them to do the nasty with another man, eek how awful she said in a deadpan voice.

 

[Wildcat2222]

It would be an aversive man...probably both describing the feeling of the sex to him as he watches.

 

[Wildcat2222]

Sorry...aggressive...

 

[Que]

hard to say...browsed your blog and marc's on the one hand in an early post on marc's he seemed pensive about the open arrangement...so i would think an aggressive bull would be too much...I sense though his reticence was largely that perhaps he is worried of losing you. us dirty old men tend to be slightly insecure that the fawning young i-can-believe-my-good-fortune thing will suddenly awaken and move on...

you mention he does enjoy humiliation so that leads me to think he would be ok in a loving supportive relationship that you seem to have to be consigned in fantasy play to a secondary role leaving the other man to be whatever you optimally desire.

interesting dynamics all the way around.

I for a while tried my hand at a cuck blog from a woman's (made up and guestimated by my observations of those i'd read in the lifestyle) perspective. fun combination's are possible.

 

[BellaIsabella]

Thanks for reading my blog

I think Marc would enjoy me conquering a submissive man, I think a more dominant man would make him uncomfortable.

He's into humiliation, but he's also really into pain, the domme who trained me said she had never seen annoy so into the SM portion of BDSM.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Might be an idea to tell what you have done if you want suggestions of things you have not.

Catalina

 

[Stella_Omega]

Thanks for reading my blog

I think Marc would enjoy me conquering a submissive man, I think a more dominant man would make him uncomfortable.

He's into humiliation, but he's also really into pain, the domme who trained me said she had never seen annoy so into the SM portion of BDSM.

he seems far more a bottom than a sub.

He's very proactive about what he wants and doesn't want, isn't he?

 

[BellaIsabella]

Yes, I guess he is.

What is the difference between a bottom and a sub?

 

[CutieMouse]

Yes, I guess he is.

What is the difference between a bottom and a sub?

A bottom is someone who submits under limited (or temporary), negotiated circumstances, usually retaining control over the "scene" / "play". A submissive will submit within agreed upon parameters, but does not retain the same control as a bottom.

A bottom might want the cathartic release of a good hard spanking, but be the one to decide exactly how the spanking will occur and tell their top they want a spanking [done XYZ way]. A submissive might want the cathartic release of a good hard spanking, and may ask for it, but it will be the dominant's decision if/when/how the spanking occurs. See the difference?

 

[BeeBeestoy]

A bottom is someone who submits under limited (or temporary), negotiated circumstances, usually retaining control over the "scene" / "play". A submissive will submit within agreed upon parameters, but does not retain the same control as a bottom.

A bottom might want the cathartic release of a good hard spanking, but be the one to decide exactly how the spanking will occur and tell their top they want a spanking [done XYZ way]. A submissive might want the cathartic release of a good hard spanking, and may ask for it, but it will be the dominant's decision if/when/how the spanking occurs. See the difference?

Very nicely put. I've missed you CutieMouse. Good to hear from you again.

 

[Stella_Omega]

A bottom is someone who submits under limited (or temporary), negotiated circumstances, usually retaining control over the "scene" / "play". A submissive will submit within agreed upon parameters, but does not retain the same control as a bottom.

A bottom might want the cathartic release of a good hard spanking, but be the one to decide exactly how the spanking will occur and tell their top they want a spanking [done XYZ way]. A submissive might want the cathartic release of a good hard spanking, and may ask for it, but it will be the dominant's decision if/when/how the spanking occurs. See the difference?

Bottoming and topping aren't only physical.

A top/bottom couple may also be into mind games, such as humiliation. And the limitations may be so diffuse as to be hard to find.

My definition is more like; A sub willingly puts his or her desires aside in favor of the dominant partner. A dominant expects his or her desires to come first at all times.

A bottom has more autonomy over his or her person, and the top/bottom partnership is a bit more egalitarian. The top is as intent on the bottom's pleasure as vice versa.

It doesn't look egalitarian to an outsider, and it's easy to mistake for some kind of dominance-submissive dynamic-- It's simply that the top gets a hella lotta pleasure out of doing unto, while the bottom wants to be done.

in fact, a partnership can end up with a dominant bottom (I like to call "Pillow Queens") and a submissive, or service, top. And there's nothing wrong with that-- despite the huffing and puffing about Twue D/s.

 

[CutieMouse]

Oh I know it's more complex/subtle than what I wrote... I was multitasking and Lit got the short end if the stick.

I like your explination better.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Oh I know it's more complex/subtle than what I wrote... I was multitasking and Lit got the short end if the stick.

I like your explination better.

well, thank you!

(I got into this same convo at this afternoon's munch)

 

[lovebound]

Bottoming and topping aren't only physical.

A top/bottom couple may also be into mind games, such as humiliation. And the limitations may be so diffuse as to be hard to find.

My definition is more like; A sub willingly puts his or her desires aside in favor of the dominant partner. A dominant expects his or her desires to come first at all times.

A bottom has more autonomy over his or her person, and the top/bottom partnership is a bit more egalitarian. The top is as intent on the bottom's pleasure as vice versa.

It doesn't look egalitarian to an outsider, and it's easy to mistake for some kind of dominance-submissive dynamic-- It's simply that the top gets a hella lotta pleasure out of doing unto, while the bottom wants to be done.

in fact, a partnership can end up with a dominant bottom (I like to call "Pillow Queens") and a submissive, or service, top. And there's nothing wrong with that-- despite the huffing and puffing about Twue D/s.

Well lookie-do... I've been labeling myself wrong!

Learn something new every day

 

[Stella_Omega]

Well lookie-do... I've been labeling myself wrong!

Learn something new every day

Happens a lot in hetero circles.

I've been asking why ever since I first noticed it.

Where did you first hear the words "Sub" and "Dom?"

Man... I can't tell you how much I love me a greedy, responsive, proud-of-it bottom!

 

[BellaIsabella]

You are right, I think he is a bottom.

 

[Stella_Omega]

You are right, I think he is a bottom.

I surely hope that doesn't bother you or make you feel less like a fantastic woman with a partner that is perfect for her.

I come from a different tradition than the hetero one, and Top/Bottom relationships are very much respected in the gay and queer leather scene (Queer includes a lot of hetero folk who don't feel "normative")

The default words in the hetero scene imply one person is DA BOSS and the other gets ordered around-- and a REAL DOMINANT orders his sub around ALL THE TIME, not only in bed. My my she said fanning herself, who has the time?

 

[DyingEmber]

Bottoming and topping aren't only physical.

A top/bottom couple may also be into mind games, such as humiliation. And the limitations may be so diffuse as to be hard to find.

My definition is more like; A sub willingly puts his or her desires aside in favor of the dominant partner. A dominant expects his or her desires to come first at all times.

A bottom has more autonomy over his or her person, and the top/bottom partnership is a bit more egalitarian. The top is as intent on the bottom's pleasure as vice versa.

It doesn't look egalitarian to an outsider, and it's easy to mistake for some kind of dominance-submissive dynamic-- It's simply that the top gets a hella lotta pleasure out of doing unto, while the bottom wants to be done.

in fact, a partnership can end up with a dominant bottom (I like to call "Pillow Queens") and a submissive, or service, top. And there's nothing wrong with that-- despite the huffing and puffing about Twue D/s.

You seem like you really know what's going on, so I'm wondering if you can answer a question for me.

For someone who is dominant or a top, what is the "fun" for them?

From your definition, I'm not sure if I'm a bottom or sub, but the thrill for me is being controlled.

My partner and I recently started experimenting, and according to him, it was something he always was interested in doing. But when we are actually in the act, he's said that what he is getting off on is knowing that I am liking what is happening. I feel like I shouldn't be getting "what I want"... it makes me feel like a spoiled princess. I feel like he should be doing what he wants because he wants to, not just to get me off... but he says that that is what is turning him on.

I feel kind of lost and confused because I thought for him it would be about being in control but instead it seems like it's about doing me a favor, even though it was something he was interested in previous to meeting me. Help?

Sorry if this didn't make much sense.

 

[Stella_Omega]

You seem like you really know what's going on, so I'm wondering if you can answer a question for me.

For someone who is dominant or a top, what is the "fun" for them?

From your definition, I'm not sure if I'm a bottom or sub, but the thrill for me is being controlled.

My partner and I recently started experimenting, and according to him, it was something he always was interested in doing. But when we are actually in the act, he's said that what he is getting off on is knowing that I am liking what is happening. I feel like I shouldn't be getting "what I want"... it makes me feel like a spoiled princess. I feel like he should be doing what he wants because he wants to, not just to get me off... but he says that that is what is turning him on.

I feel kind of lost and confused because I thought for him it would be about being in control but instead it seems like it's about doing me a favor, even though it was something he was interested in previous to meeting me. Help?

Sorry if this didn't make much sense.

For me as a top I totally do get off on knowing that my partner is getting off. It's almost as if I am inside of their mind, feeling what they feel-- if we are both in accord, of course, and so here's a tip, which is;

As a bottom, stop worrying about being given what you want. TELL me you're getting what you want, let me know when I get away from your desires or closer, because I will use that knowledge next time as well as this time.

BE a princess. Your gasps and moans and wiggling around are my favorite toys. And trust me, you will find yourself under control.

the more responsive and appreciative a bottom is-- or a sub, as well, when the Dom is in that mood-- the happier the top will be, and the bigger the orgasms for both. Its very much a synergistic thing!

There is actually some neurological basis for topping being so satisfying. it isn't only having a good imagination, or being a control freak.

 

[DyingEmber]

Thanks, Stella! That helped!!