MarlowBunny
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2010
- Posts
- 193
Who is interested in reading more after the following excerpt? What could improve it?
Glen Hellen is a private nature preserve adjacent to the village of Yellow Springs, Ohio. The glen is comprised of heavily wooded natural limestone canyons carved over millennia by the Yellow Spring Creek and the Little Miami River. The area appears completely natural at first glance, but only a few of the trees are older than 100 years. Even fewer people are aware that the site once featured a sprawling health resort dedicated to exploiting the curative waters of the namesake spring.
Before the area was settled by Europeans, it was a beloved campground for both the Shawnee and Miami tribes of Native Americans. The tribes often warred, but neither contested the spring. It was beyond the influence of men. I am one of the few Miami who remain in Ohio. My grandmother taught me about the spring just like she was taught by her grandmother.
In the 1830's, a stone bridge across the Little Miami River completed the stage coach route from Lebanon Ohio to Springfield Ohio. Travelers who stopped to rest observed that the water coursing under the bridge was unusual. It had a distinct orange tint and tasted metallic. If you are adventurous, you can still observe the phenomenon today. Start from the ruins of the bridge and trace the water upstream to the place where the Yellow Spring Creek joins the river. Then continue along the banks of the creek until you discover the broken dam that once collected water for the resort. Climb past the waterfalls along the canyon wall and find the spring at its source. Drink from it. According to my grandmother, an ancient and powerful spirit dwells within that spring.
Among the tribes, the spring was more famous as a fountain of love than a source of health, but my grandmother probably would not distinguish between the two qualities. By tradition, lovers shared the water and bathed under the cascades where the spring empties into the canyon. If the lovers consummated their union while immersed and the spirit blessed the pair, their child might grow to become a powerful spirit leader. One such child was the Shawnee chief, Tenskwatawa, who became known as the "prophet."
Most spirits appear as bears or wolves or eagles and impart wisdom that preserves the natural balance. Spirits are part of nature and require balance to thrive. Spirits are not usually moved by mortal concerns, but the spirit of the Yellow Spring is different. Although nobody ever sees the spirit, everyone who encounters it knows it's a man. Grandmother says that some lucky girls catch the fancy of the spirit and can feel his awesome presence in their loins. Such girls seldom marry. They enjoy long contented lives in the village and wander frequently to the glen to relive ecstasy in the pools below the spring. I believe I have met some of those women.
Glen Hellen is a private nature preserve adjacent to the village of Yellow Springs, Ohio. The glen is comprised of heavily wooded natural limestone canyons carved over millennia by the Yellow Spring Creek and the Little Miami River. The area appears completely natural at first glance, but only a few of the trees are older than 100 years. Even fewer people are aware that the site once featured a sprawling health resort dedicated to exploiting the curative waters of the namesake spring.
Before the area was settled by Europeans, it was a beloved campground for both the Shawnee and Miami tribes of Native Americans. The tribes often warred, but neither contested the spring. It was beyond the influence of men. I am one of the few Miami who remain in Ohio. My grandmother taught me about the spring just like she was taught by her grandmother.
In the 1830's, a stone bridge across the Little Miami River completed the stage coach route from Lebanon Ohio to Springfield Ohio. Travelers who stopped to rest observed that the water coursing under the bridge was unusual. It had a distinct orange tint and tasted metallic. If you are adventurous, you can still observe the phenomenon today. Start from the ruins of the bridge and trace the water upstream to the place where the Yellow Spring Creek joins the river. Then continue along the banks of the creek until you discover the broken dam that once collected water for the resort. Climb past the waterfalls along the canyon wall and find the spring at its source. Drink from it. According to my grandmother, an ancient and powerful spirit dwells within that spring.
Among the tribes, the spring was more famous as a fountain of love than a source of health, but my grandmother probably would not distinguish between the two qualities. By tradition, lovers shared the water and bathed under the cascades where the spring empties into the canyon. If the lovers consummated their union while immersed and the spirit blessed the pair, their child might grow to become a powerful spirit leader. One such child was the Shawnee chief, Tenskwatawa, who became known as the "prophet."
Most spirits appear as bears or wolves or eagles and impart wisdom that preserves the natural balance. Spirits are part of nature and require balance to thrive. Spirits are not usually moved by mortal concerns, but the spirit of the Yellow Spring is different. Although nobody ever sees the spirit, everyone who encounters it knows it's a man. Grandmother says that some lucky girls catch the fancy of the spirit and can feel his awesome presence in their loins. Such girls seldom marry. They enjoy long contented lives in the village and wander frequently to the glen to relive ecstasy in the pools below the spring. I believe I have met some of those women.
In non fiction writing, pronouns and qualitative adjectives are unwelcome. Pronouns are sometimes ambiguous: to which "it" are you referring. Adjectives betray the author's opinion. It is better for the reader to make their own judgments based on the facts presented. 
