The write in white thread

I'm pretty sure I still have the address, but maybe you should send it again just to make sure I have the right one.
 
As Valentine's Day gets closer and the sixth month anniversary of your death soon approaches, I am torn. I so want to post something in memory of you, but not sure how or what to say. I miss you terribly and I feel so lost here. It feels as if half of me is no longer alive to enjoy life, and to be honest, that sentiment is so true. Every day I come here, hoping in some small way to feel some kind of normalcy, but I know in my heart of hearts that nothing here is 'normal'. I go to your profile, re-read your threads and posts, only to cry such bittersweet tears. I am conflicted. Should I stay, should I leave? Should I post and risk ridicule or go back to my former self and post only to have people pity me like before?



I miss you my love......*hkh*
 
Believe it or not ... that was not easy for me to do. And it wasn't done without a lot of thought. You were fucking amazing.
 
I suppose this is where I write all my terrible vicious secrets so they can be obscured from anybody unable to hit Ctrl+A. Well here goes...
 
I suppose this is where I write all my terrible vicious secrets so they can be obscured from anybody unable to hit Ctrl+A. Well here goes...

Simultaneous multi-key pressing disability is no mocking matter!

*growls and bites back the urge to spill about the years of torment I've suffered from not being able to Ctrl + ALT + Del*
 
You gave me a taste. Find me ... tonight. No prelude, no questions. Just unleash that raw, animalistic lust that I know to be lurking right under the surface. I want it. Tonight. Exhaust me.
 
*grumbles*

This is officially a non-pervy post.

So Appysnort won't stumble on the other one.

Happy, bitchardo?
 
*grumbles*

This is officially a non-pervy post.

So Appysnort won't stumble on the other one.

Happy, bitchardo?

Don't grumble at me.

You're the one who's being all pervy.

BTW, this totally worked, I successfully unstumbled on the other one.

I propose we adopt this method all the time.

Not for me, cos I don't get pervy.

But you need to be punished for your TMI-ness.

They way you've been going, you're going to hit 25k posts in no time.
 
Don't grumble at me.

You're the one who's being all pervy.

BTW, this totally worked, I successfully unstumbled on the other one.

I propose we adopt this method all the time.

Not for me, cos I don't get pervy.

But you need to be punished for your TMI-ness.

They way you've been going, you're going to hit 25k posts in no time.

*grumblesnortgrumble*

My non-pervy posts far outweigh my pervy posts.

Nah, I propose we don't.

I must admit I love hearing you scream. It's fun.

Oy! No more punishments. This one is still killing me.

*pats myself on the back for my self-control*

Please. You know I'm going to end up going into hiding soon.
 
I am so freaking tired. But there's too much to do now ... I already have this mental list of all the things that need to at least be attempted today. And it's times like these that I wish you were still around. So I could at least have the illusion that someone with strong arms and shoulders would be there when I finish this marathon ... no, not to cuddle or listen to me bare my soul, but just to hold. There is a difference.
 
I'm not coldhearted. I'm not unemotional. I compartmentalize because it hurts too much. And if it hurts too much that means that I retreat into myself and I simply can't afford that right now.
 
Well, enjoy your book. Make sure you take a picture with those floppy pants for me.:D
 
I feel trapped. I don't want to go, but I must go there and spend time there. I really hate it. I have tried to replace it, but I get shot down again and again. It's really frustrating. It gives me little to no satisfaction to spend all this time there. Do you know how awful you are? I must go, but my days there will come to an end I can promise you this. One of these days I am going to land a new JOB, and that will be it for you.
 
I don't understand how I do so well until a certain moment when I realize that no, I'm not that special to you, I'm just here. I'm just here when it's convenient for you. And I'm so very, very tired of that. I deserve better. I deserve the best.

From here on forward I am your friend and your friend only. I can't keep putting my heart on the line for nothing. So it ends.
 
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