Cat's rules for patients

SeaCat

Hey, my Halo is smoking
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Sep 23, 2003
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Cat's rules for patients.

1) Don't ask me to buy food for you and your family members. If I'm not willing to pay the prices the fast food places demand for bad food for my wife and myself why would you think I'm going to pay them for you and your family?

2) If I come in to clean you up because you have soiled yourself please be kind enough to hang up your Cell Phone. I dont need to hear you giving your friends a play by play as I clean you up.

3) Don't accuse me of stealing your personal belongings because you want mine. It doesn't do you a damned bit of good.

4) Don't accuse me of being gay because I don't react to your come on's.

5) Don't expect me to cater to your every whim. You are in a hospital, not a Spa.

6) Don't expect me to babysit your kids because you are in the hospital.

7) Don't accuse me of abuse because I'm not in your room every minute of the shift. I have other patients I am caring for.

8) Don't scream at me or call me a racist because I don't slip you extra narcotics.

9) Don't tell your friends and/or family that I'm there to take care of them. I'm not.

10) I'm not your friend, your buddy or your banker. Don't expect me to give you a ride home or lend you money. I'm also not going to go to your house to do repairs.

11) I'm happily married. I'm not interested in dating either you or any of your daughters.

12) No I'm not going to fix your car.

13) I don't care that your cousin is an M.D. in another state. He isn't here nor is he taking care of you.

14) Don't quote Dr. Phil to me. He isn't here taking care of you, I am.

15) You're in the medical field? Great. Then you know there are things I need to do. Your repeating this over and over while I try to do my job doesn't endear you to me.

Cat
 
16.) Don't ask Cat to decorate your room with Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Ramadan, or Guy Fawkes Day decorations. Just don't. Lesser men have tried.
 
Christ! There's 15 good reasons why the human herd is long overdue for a culling. :rolleyes:
 
Cat's rules for patients.

1) Don't ask me to buy food for you and your family members. If I'm not willing to pay the prices the fast food places demand for bad food for my wife and myself why would you think I'm going to pay them for you and your family?

2) If I come in to clean you up because you have soiled yourself please be kind enough to hang up your Cell Phone. I dont need to hear you giving your friends a play by play as I clean you up.

3) Don't accuse me of stealing your personal belongings because you want mine. It doesn't do you a damned bit of good.

4) Don't accuse me of being gay because I don't react to your come on's.

5) Don't expect me to cater to your every whim. You are in a hospital, not a Spa.

6) Don't expect me to babysit your kids because you are in the hospital.

7) Don't accuse me of abuse because I'm not in your room every minute of the shift. I have other patients I am caring for.

8) Don't scream at me or call me a racist because I don't slip you extra narcotics.

9) Don't tell your friends and/or family that I'm there to take care of them. I'm not.

10) I'm not your friend, your buddy or your banker. Don't expect me to give you a ride home or lend you money. I'm also not going to go to your house to do repairs.

11) I'm happily married. I'm not interested in dating either you or any of your daughters.

12) No I'm not going to fix your car.

13) I don't care that your cousin is an M.D. in another state. He isn't here nor is he taking care of you.

14) Don't quote Dr. Phil to me. He isn't here taking care of you, I am.

15) You're in the medical field? Great. Then you know there are things I need to do. Your repeating this over and over while I try to do my job doesn't endear you to me.

Cat

I am always kind and respectful to nurses because I know they get shit pay for a hard job that'll end up stuffing them physically. Same goes for people who work in old folks homes. My sister was sexually assaulted more than twice doing that job.
 
I'm sure that Cat knows that people who are sick or in pain can behave like assholes when they are normally reasonable human beings, but:

Rule 17: Patients who were assholes before they became patients are impossible assholes when they are patients.

Og
 
Rule 18: If you're a high school teacher...don't tell me. I'll be able to figure it out myself.
 
Print the list on a card, laminate it and let your patients read it.
Then they've been told !
 
16.) Don't ask Cat to decorate your room with Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Ramadan, or Guy Fawkes Day decorations. Just don't. Lesser men have tried.

No actually I have been known to go out of my way to help patients celebrate their holidays, and I learn from them. The more I know the better able I am to take care of them or others from their faith.

I am also rsponsive to the dietary needs of my patients due to their faiths as well as the conflicts that may arise during their care because of their faths.

I just don't agree with people trying to take advantage of the situation.

Cat
 
I'm sure that Cat knows that people who are sick or in pain can behave like assholes when they are normally reasonable human beings, but:

Rule 17: Patients who were assholes before they became patients are impossible assholes when they are patients.

Og

You wouldn't believe how right you are.

I make allowances when people are sick or in pain, and even greater allowances when they or their family members are dieing.

Then you get the Mr. and Mrs. Doe who comes in with a hangnail or the sniffles and expects to have an entire Nursing team waiting on them hand and foot.

Cat
 
You wouldn't believe how right you are.

I make allowances when people are sick or in pain, and even greater allowances when they or their family members are dieing.

Then you get the Mr. and Mrs. Doe who comes in with a hangnail or the sniffles and expects to have an entire Nursing team waiting on them hand and foot.

Cat

I tend to get busted for not asking enough of the nurse looking after me. I am fiercely independant.
 
I spent a large part of the last two years in hospital where I learned to really appreciate what a tough and dirty job nursing is. That doesn't stop them from going out of their way to be kind.

I will always remember, with love and gratitude, the nurses who brought me little packets of salt from the hospital cafeteria because I was inadvertently put on a salt-free diet. The doctor who issued the order finally changed it on my chart to allow salt the day before I was released. Before that he told the nurses salt was okay for me, but it had to be in writing before the people in the kitchen put salt packets on my tray. So the nurses snuck some in.
 
I am always kind and respectful to nurses because I know they get shit pay for a hard job that'll end up stuffing them physically. Same goes for people who work in old folks homes. My sister was sexually assaulted more than twice doing that job.

I know several nurses and CNAs, I have a great deal of respect for them--not sure I could do their job.

Um, vrose, hope you won't take this wrong, but your sister--was she assaulted by patients or staff?
 
I know several nurses and CNAs, I have a great deal of respect for them--not sure I could do their job.

Um, vrose, hope you won't take this wrong, but your sister--was she assaulted by patients or staff?

Patients. It is quite common amongst those nursing the elderly as forms of dementia often produce sexual disinhibition.
 
Fuck the nurses and cna's.

1. Get off the damned phone with your bf and change my IV bags when the alarm sounds.

2. My body isnt a training aid for folks learning to insert IVs.

3. Dont pocket the narcotics I decline to take.

4. Dont slip patients undocumented narcotics then call the cops when the shit shows up in their blood.

5. Dont invent BS police complaints when patients flirt with your bf.

6. Tag the correct limb to be amputated.

7. Get in rehab to fix your addiction problem.

8. Theyre my fucking records and I can look at them, got it!

9. I'm not interested in your personal problems; I'm in your facility cuz I have my own issues, and I pay good money for it.
 
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Rule 19:
I do not work for you, nor am I on your staff, in any capacity.
So don't treat me like a servant.
 
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