Need ideas for sexy posts, please

[Bianca_Sommerland]

Okay, I'm done racking my brain--or trying to use it, I think it's broke. I have three blog post scheduled at some pretty big sites and I need some good idea of what to write about. So far the Top Ten Reasons to keep a Man post I did was the most popular, and I had fun with it, but now I'm stumped.

Any thoughts?

 

[Stella_Omega]

How being sex positive is good for a woman's health

A glossary of words that women use, and their translations for men-- again, keeping it light-- but accurate if you can

A list of all the wonderful ways to have sex that don't include putting a penis in a vagina-- with the point being that sharing orgasms is what sex is, not breaking a hymen.

 

[Bianca_Sommerland]

How being sex positive is good for a woman's health

A glossary of words that women use, and their translations for men-- again, keeping it light-- but accurate if you can

A list of all the wonderful ways to have sex that don't include putting a penis in a vagina-- with the point being that sharing orgasms is what sex is, not breaking a hymen.

Oh, I like those! Thank you, Stella! I knew I'd get something good here!

One of the blogs I'm guesting at does a lot of pure sex posts. They offered to make me a regular if I came up with something good. Your ideas should impress if I can do them justice!

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Yeah, Stella's got it right. Heck, one of my characters in a story I'm working on even tells her lover that celibacy is unhealthy, especially for women. I fully concur.

 

[Bianca_Sommerland]

I agree. I've been toying with the idea in a few of my recent stories. I do a lot of menages and polyamory, so it's important to show women have sexual urges just as strong as men.

So doing a post about it will work out perfectly. And the other ideas will be cool if I find some good sources. Must figure out how to explain when a woman says hard it doesn't mean faster. Sounds simple, but doesn't seem to translate.

Yeah, Stella's got it right. Heck, one of my characters in a story I'm working on even tells her lover that celibacy is unhealthy, especially for women. I fully concur.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

I agree. I've been toying with the idea in a few of my recent stories. I do a lot of menages and polyamory, so it's important to show women have sexual urges just as strong as men.

You, too? My ideal world has group marriages of at least four people, preferably around seven. Whether the majority is male or female is immaterial, so long as everyone has a chance for variety.

My highest rated story, Lost and Redeemed has that as a major theme.

 

[Bianca_Sommerland]

With Rosemary Entwined, I have a girl and seven guys. It's fantasy, so making it work was easy. With my latest it's contemporary and has some BDSM. My editor keeps emailing me to ask if it's done! Flattering, but since I'm doing a lot of research into polyamory, I'm trying to make sure to include the complications that arise.

I've seen a lot of books published that just have the girl being fucked by several guys and falling in love with one or two. I want to do something more if that makes any sense.

You, too? My ideal world has group marriages of at least four people, preferably around seven. Whether the majority is male or female is immaterial, so long as everyone has a chance for variety.

My highest rated story, Lost and Redeemed has that as a major theme.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

With Rosemary Entwined, I have a girl and seven guys. It's fantasy, so making it work was easy. With my latest it's contemporary and has some BDSM. My editor keeps emailing me to ask if it's done! Flattering, but since I'm doing a lot of research into polyamory, I'm trying to make sure to include the complications that arise.

I've seen a lot of books published that just have the girl being fucked by several guys and falling in love with one or two. I want to do something more if that makes any sense.

I am of the generation that remembers the old free-love hippy communes. Most of them didn't work out but that doesn't mean one couldn't. I've got a SF in the works right now that presumes that all marriages are group and that families are matrilineal. Because the planet was only settled with two thousand colonists and no more will come, the women have lots of kids. Six or seven is the norm.

 

[Bianca_Sommerland]

That sounds awesome, bear, I'll have to read it when you post it!

I have one story with a couple, and even they explore adding another man for variety. But that's only in the second book because my editor cut the first one short

I like writing relationships without restrictions for either the hero or the heroine. It's nice to know I'm not the only one.

I am of the generation that remembers the old free-love hippy communes. Most of them didn't work out but that doesn't mean one couldn't. I've got a SF in the works right now that presumes that all marriages are group and that families are matrilineal. Because the planet was only settled with two thousand colonists and no more will come, the women have lots of kids. Six or seven is the norm.

 

[DeeZire]

I've got an idea (that everyone will hate!) High waisted panties - turn on or turn off? For example, if one wishes to have spontaneous sex in a church, would high waisted panties be more appropriate than a thong? What if you're putting the moves on a priest, or a married conservative politician? Would lacy french-cut bikini style panties scare him off? What if you were to get in a car wreck specifically to catch the eye of that handsome intern who works in the ER? Would he prefer cutting off your granny panties, or would black booty shorts be a better choice? Surely, you could fill a blog with this type of nonsense. I'd read it.

 

[Bianca_Sommerland]

A post about panties. That could work!

I've got an idea (that everyone will hate!) High waisted panties - turn on or turn off? For example, if one wishes to have spontaneous sex in a church, would high waisted panties be more appropriate than a thong? What if you're putting the moves on a priest, or a married conservative politician? Would lacy french-cut bikini style panties scare him off? What if you were to get in a car wreck specifically to catch the eye of that handsome intern who works in the ER? Would he prefer cutting off your granny panties, or would black booty shorts be a better choice? Surely, you could fill a blog with this type of nonsense. I'd read it.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I agree. I've been toying with the idea in a few of my recent stories. I do a lot of menages and polyamory, so it's important to show women have sexual urges just as strong as men.

So doing a post about it will work out perfectly. And the other ideas will be cool if I find some good sources. Must figure out how to explain when a woman says hard it doesn't mean faster. Sounds simple, but doesn't seem to translate.

What the fuck is UP with that?

Maybe it needs to be the other way around, anyway, maybe it should be how to translate into man language.

Another idea I've seen discussed recently, is that each time a woman says "YES" because she really means it-- it's an anti-rape statement. Because one of the things that fuel those grey-area rapes is this idea that women say "no" but really mean "perhaps yes." If we say YES when we mean it, then we stand a better chance of being respected when we say NO because we mean it-- and we take that excuse away from rape apologists.

About panties-- what about women who secretly wear yfronts? Do they wear them for the turnon? What turnon can you possibly get out of a pair of tighty whities?

And did you know that there are companies that make men's styled silky lacy undies?

 

[Bianca_Sommerland]

I know what you mean, Stella. I've been struggling with that in BDSM fiction. Stop and No don't apply, and I kinda understand, but wouldn't a good dom know when No! or Stop! is not playing? I had one of my heros tell the girl, if you say stop, then we stop.

It shows respect. Sceneing is one thing, but it's a very fine line.

Men with lace panties...hmm, I'll have to look into that. I've never heard of y shaped. Is that like crotchless?

I can see the thrill of going out knowing you're accessable if you wanna be

What the fuck is UP with that?

Maybe it needs to be the other way around, anyway, maybe it should be how to translate into man language.

Another idea I've seen discussed recently, is that each time a woman says "YES" because she really means it-- it's an anti-rape statement. Because one of the things that fuel those grey-area rapes is this idea that women say "no" but really mean "perhaps yes." If we say YES when we mean it, then we stand a better chance of being respected when we say NO because we mean it-- and we take that excuse away from rape apologists.

About panties-- what about women who secretly wear yfronts? Do they wear them for the turnon? What turnon can you possibly get out of a pair of tighty whities?

And did you know that there are companies that make men's styled silky lacy undies?

 

[Stella_Omega]

I know what you mean, Stella. I've been struggling with that in BDSM fiction. Stop and No don't apply, and I kinda understand, but wouldn't a good dom know when No! or Stop! is not playing? I had one of my heros tell the girl, if you say stop, then we stop.

It shows respect. Sceneing is one thing, but it's a very fine line.

That's what safewords are for. Some people use the traffic light system-- Green means go all the way, yellow means slow down, red means stop. Or they will use a word like "grashopper," that you wouldn't normally say during sex. In situations when all the fun has wiped the memory banks, people have been known to holler "Safeword! Safeword, goddamnit!"

Men with lace panties...hmm, I'll have to look into that. I've never heard of y shaped. Is that like crotchless?

I can see the thrill of going out knowing you're accessable if you wanna be

Y-fronts-- men's white cotton briefs.

 

[Bianca_Sommerland]

That's what safewords are for. Some people use the traffic light system-- Green means go all the way, yellow means slow down, red means stop. Or they will use a word like "grashopper," that you wouldn't normally say during sex. In situations when all the fun has wiped the memory banks, people have been known to holler "Safeword! Safeword, goddamnit!" Y-fronts-- men's white cotton briefs.

I guess it depends on how a writer approaches it. Cherise Sinclair (I love her books) uses red and yellow--red for stop and yellow for 'we'll talk about it'. But her doms pay very close attention and will stop if they see a sub freezing up.

But I've read books where the girl gets to the point where thinking of saying a safeword is imposible. It's not dom sub anymore, it's abusive. With a gag in your mouth and no trust, some guy humping you isn't sexy...but I've reviewed too many books, so I won't get into it.

Men's white cotton briefs. My writer's mind is coming up with very interesting scenarios

 

[Stella_Omega]

I guess it depends on how a writer approaches it. Cherise Sinclair (I love her books) uses red and yellow--red for stop and yellow for 'we'll talk about it'. But her doms pay very close attention and will stop if they see a sub freezing up.

But I've read books where the girl gets to the point where thinking of saying a safeword is imposible. It's not dom sub anymore, it's abusive. With a gag in your mouth and no trust, some guy humping you isn't sexy...but I've reviewed too many books, so I won't get into it.

Men's white cotton briefs. My writer's mind is coming up with very interesting scenarios

I don't care very much for heteronormative BDSM scenarios. The way you've just described it "The girl" being submissive by default-- I find that just a little bit nauseating...

Might be another topic for you!

 

[Bianca_Sommerland]

Considering the subjects I'll be writing about, that would be a good idea!

I decided to put a twist in one of the books I'm working on. One of the characters--big strong man--is a submissive (and a pain slut, but that's beside the point).

Doing BDSM properly takes a lot of research. Then again, so does doing polyamory--not that many people bother

I did a post touching on that too. Maybe I should explore it further...although it might piss some people off. Research when writing smut, perish the thought!

I don't care very much for heteronormative BDSM scenarios. The way you've just described it "The girl" being submissive by default-- I find that just a little bit nauseating...

Might be another topic for you!

 

[Stella_Omega]

I decided to put a twist in one of the books I'm working on. One of the characters--big strong man--is a submissive (and a pain slut, but that's beside the point).

Yes! And please, don't turn him into a sissy or anything like that, please please?

Let him be big, and strong, and let his Mistress be very happy and proud of and turned on by his bigness and strength. Please, don't put him in a frilly apron to wash the dishes- let him wash the dishes in glorious masculine nudity. Let her have him strip off his shirt, and go outside and dig out her garden until the sweat runs down his body.

Let him be masculine and submissive at the very same time. (Also, kudos for knowing the diff between subbing and bottoming)

 

[Bianca_Sommerland]

Actually, my plan is to have him impossible to tell from the doms until his domme is around--and even then, still have him purely masculine. I think a true Dom/sub relationship can be a beautiful thing and I want to portray that.

Subbing and bottoming is easy to tell apart (well, if you're paying attention to your research that is) What pisses me off is how many people mix up Doms and Sadist. They're not interchangeable.

Yes! And please, don't turn him into a sissy or anything like that, please please?

Let him be big, and strong, and let his Mistress be very happy and proud of and turned on by his bigness and strength. Please, don't put him in a frilly apron to wash the dishes- let him wash the dishes in glorious masculine nudity. Let her have him strip off his shirt, and go outside and dig out her garden until the sweat runs down his body.

Let him be masculine and submissive at the very same time. (Also, kudos for knowing the diff between subbing and bottoming)

 

[Stella_Omega]

What pisses me off is how many young women show up thinking they must be submissive when they are really craving strong sensation. They are ready to throw their willpower away for the sake of getting laid-- and ready to hand it over to some random guy who calls himself Sir Domly Dom and explains to them that "the first three weeks are really hard in a slave's journey" and that they will become a better, happier woman after submitting to him.

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

 

[Bianca_Sommerland]

Those are the ones who usually top from the bottom--they might have fun with a scene or two, but they wouldn't know what to do with a real dom if they met one. I wonder what they would do if put in a situation where they weren't getting any sex.

Polyamory has the same misconceptions. It's not an open relationship or a series of gang bangs. Even with my first book I had a lot of people say 'Wow, I'd love to have that many men serve me'.

sigh. Relationships between two people are complicated. Adding people doesn't make that go away.

What pisses me off is how many young women show up thinking they must be submissive when they are really craving strong sensation. They are ready to throw their willpower away for the sake of getting laid-- and ready to hand it over to some random guy who calls himself Sir Domly Dom and explains to them that "the first three weeks are really hard in a slave's journey" and that they will become a better, happier woman after submitting to him.

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Those are the ones who usually top from the bottom--they might have fun with a scene or two, but they wouldn't know what to do with a real dom if they met one.

haha, you are scorning and judging the women who don't think they have to be submissive to be a bottom, and I am scorning and judging the hets (men and women alike) who think women do have to be submissive.

Some women don't want to meet a real dom. The problem is, most women meet men who call themselves doms, who hand them a load of paperback novel bullshit about BDSM.

I have been in the scene for a very long time, and the number of "real doms" I have met-- count 'em on one hand. The number of men who call themselves doms? Hundreds. Thousands, on the internet.

I wonder what they would do if put in a situation where they weren't getting any sex.

I would certainly hope they would take a hike and find a partner who does give them what they need.

There's that other heteronormative assumption-- that relationships are infinitely more important than sexual expression, that a woman(or, as women are often spoken of, "sub") should be punished (seems like you're saying) by being refused sexual satisfaction. What's up with that? Neither the lesbian nor the gay male leather scenes ever came up with that kind of bullshit. Orgasm denial, sure. But "no sex" equals "no play" as far as any scene I have ever been in-- top or bottom.

Polyamory has the same misconceptions. It's not an open relationship or a series of gang bangs. Even with my first book I had a lot of people say 'Wow, I'd love to have that many men serve me'.

sigh. Relationships between two people are complicated. Adding people doesn't make that go away.

Indeed.

 

[Bianca_Sommerland]

haha, you are scorning and judging the women who don't think they have to be submissive to be a bottom, and I am scorning and judging the hets (men and women alike) who think women do have to be submissive.

I try not to scorn anyone But I'm speaking mostly from a literary sense. I think if you're going to write about a lifestyle, you should understand it. I've read too many books where bottom, slave, sub, and masochist are treated the same. And the men or women portrayed are pathetic.

Some women don't want to meet a real dom. The problem is, most women meet men who call themselves doms, who hand them a load of paperback novel bullshit about BDSM.

I have been in the scene for a very long time, and the number of "real doms" I have met-- count 'em on one hand. The number of men who call themselves doms? Hundreds. Thousands, on the internet.

Very true.

I would certainly hope they would take a hike and find a partner who does give them what they need.

There's that other heteronormative assumption-- that relationships are infinitely more important than sexual expression, that a woman(or, as women are often spoken of, "sub") should be punished (seems like you're saying) by being refused sexual satisfaction. What's up with that? Neither the lesbian nor the gay male leather scenes ever came up with that kind of bullshit. Orgasm denial, sure. But "no sex" equals "no play" as far as any scene I have ever been in-- top or bottom.

I think you misunderstand what I'm trying to say. There's more involved than sex. A sub doesn't have--or necessarily want to--have sex just because they want to scene. Although if they do--even from the first meeting--it's entirely up to them.

I don't think being sexually aware makes someone a slut. Man or woman, take it when you want it.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I try not to scorn anyone But I'm speaking mostly from a literary sense. I think if you're going to write about a lifestyle, you should understand it. I've read too many books where bottom, slave, sub, and masochist are treated the same. And the men or women portrayed are pathetic.

ah-- in a literary sense, of course.

I think you misunderstand what I'm trying to say. There's more involved than sex. A sub doesn't have--or necessarily want to--have sex just because they want to scene. Although if they do--even from the first meeting--it's entirely up to them.

What I am saying is that "Sub" for some reason, is the default term in the hetero BDSM scene, and I really wonder why, because I think it's pretty problematic. People don't seem to know that there's any other role available beyond submission and domination. To me, those are rarified, and very precious intimacies, much more so than a spanking and a fuck. You don't go giving your mind to just anyone, yanno?

I don't think being sexually aware makes someone a slut. Man or woman, take it when you want it.

yet-- check out your reaction when I spoke of exactly that;

I wonder what they would do if put in a situation where they weren't getting any sex.

Isn't that interesting? Why do we do that-- belittle women's sexuality that way?

 

[Bianca_Sommerland]

Isn't that interesting? Why do we do that-- belittle women's sexuality that way?

Who says I'm talking about just women? BDSM is not just about sex. That's the point I'm trying to make. Any man or woman going to a dungeon for a guaranteed fuck might be disapointed.

Or pleasantly surprised to see that penetration isn't necessary for a mindblowing orgasm. In my opinion play is more satisfying when it's 90% mental. For both sexes.