Brave, Brave Duncan James

[Safe_Bet]

It takes a brave soul to publicly proclaim your membership in the LGBT community. Duncan James, lead singer of the band Blue, proved he is such a brave soul by publicly announcing that he is Bisexual prior to his bands 2009 Reunion Tour.

As he told the News of the World during a recent interview:

"I don't feel I should launch a big comeback with Blue hiding this - I don't want to go back to the time in the band when I felt I had to keep certain things quiet. I want to be OUT and say I've had relationships with men as well as women. So doing this interview gives me the ability to go forward."

Yay, Duncan! It's HARD being LGBT and HARDER to come out, but HARDEST to be LGBT and not be able to admit who you really are.

Kudos, Duncan James. I never listened to your stuff before, but I'll give it a listen now out of sheer respect.

"Can't Stop a River" - Duncan James

 

[Etoile]

I dunno...I mean, it's not an easy decision to do so, and harder when you're famous, but I'm not sure it's really all that impressively brave. In fact, I'd say sometimes it's impossible not to...you don't get a choice. You're outed anyway...didn't that happen to Lance Bass? I know Jodie Foster was the subject of debate for years before she came out. Coming out is cool and all, but I don't think it's THAT brave.

 

[Safe_Bet]

I dunno...I mean, it's not an easy decision to do so, and harder when you're famous, but I'm not sure it's really all that impressively brave. In fact, I'd say sometimes it's impossible not to...you don't get a choice. You're outed anyway...didn't that happen to Lance Bass? I know Jodie Foster was the subject of debate for years before she came out. Coming out is cool and all, but I don't think it's THAT brave.

and I disagree. He is now "officially" set up as a target for all of the wackos, crazies and "15 minutes of fame"ers that want to be known for stomping a queer.

BTW, whether he had a choice or not is moot. He wasn't outed.

 

[Etoile]

Maybe you know more about him than I do. I just don't feel that it was particularly brave when I came out, even though I'm probably the target for the same stuff. Maybe he's in a more homophobic area though.

 

[Wolfman1982]

I must side with Etoile on this one, there is nothing brave about coming out. We have had an ancient old fucking thread about "famous" people getting out of their closet. So no, there is no bravery in it. It is just it, and that is that. My father knows, I am bi so does my sister. And my mother is the only one whom is left in the darkness, and the reason is.. that she would probably be even more nosy than she already is. So I sometimes throw her a bone in the direction about this and that. But nothing out of the ordinary. Fuck, you should some of the threads about being out and what not. The keyword is privacy, so lay it off. and to repeat myself for a umpteenth time, then here goes. I do not care what sexuality, or if you are famous for that matter. if you can behave, then I will enjoy your company, but if you behave like a dumb idiot, then get the fuck away from me. And that has nothing to do with a person is famous or not, and or for that matter what sexuality the person has. It is all down to behaviour. So back to the main answer, there is nothing brave about coming out, when you are famous. Except for 15 minutes of and weirdos and what not. Or if you live in a country that punishes another sexuality than heterosexuality. Like Iran, or other fucked up countries that has death penalty for being gay.

 

[Safe_Bet]

I must side with Etoile on this one, there is nothing brave about coming out. We have had an ancient old fucking thread about "famous" people getting out of their closet. So no, there is no bravery in it. It is just it, and that is that. My father knows, I am bi so does my sister. And my mother is the only one whom is left in the darkness, and the reason is.. that she would probably be even more nosy than she already is. So I sometimes throw her a bone in the direction about this and that. But nothing out of the ordinary. Fuck, you should some of the threads about being out and what not. The keyword is privacy, so lay it off. and to repeat myself for a umpteenth time, then here goes. I do not care what sexuality, or if you are famous for that matter. if you can behave, then I will enjoy your company, but if you behave like a dumb idiot, then get the fuck away from me. And that has nothing to do with a person is famous or not, and or for that matter what sexuality the person has. It is all down to behaviour. So back to the main answer, there is nothing brave about coming out, when you are famous. Except for 15 minutes of and weirdos and what not. Or if you live in a country that punishes another sexuality than heterosexuality. Like Iran, or other fucked up countries that has death penalty for being gay.

Geeez, dude! You REALLY need to cut down on the amount of crack you smoke. You are rambling just a bit, ya know?

Anyways, there are a couple of things you said that I want to respond to.

First of all, IN MY PERSONAL OPINION, you ain't "Out" yet so you don't know what it REALLY means. Until you are okay with kissing your SO on the cheek in the grocery story and not giving a DAMN about who sees you (including your mother) then you aren't "out" in your own head.

Secondly, even in "enlightened" countries there is still the need for bravery (especially if you're a gay man). Remember Matthew Shepard? He wasn't murdered in Iran, dude.

 

[Wolfman1982]

Geeez, dude! You REALLY need to cut down on the amount of crack you smoke. You are rambling just a bit, ya know?

Anyways, there are a couple of things you said that I want to respond to.

First of all, IN MY PERSONAL OPINION, you ain't "Out" yet so you don't know what it REALLY means. Until you are okay with kissing your SO on the cheek in the grocery story and not giving a DAMN about who sees you (including your mother) then you aren't "out" in your own head.

Secondly, even in "enlightened" countries there is still the need for bravery (especially if you're a gay man). Remember Matthew Shepard? He wasn't murdered in Iran, dude.

What ever man, I ain't "out", because I am afraid of being a victim of homophobia too. But it looks like you have missed that in drug haze you are sitting in, and it ain't from any crack I am smoking. Matthew who ? yeah I did look him up on wikipedia. And it is sad he got killed. But no body is fucking perfect dude ! But after all the so-called famous people has at least enough money to get a body guard for that kind of shit, in comparison to common folk.
And the only reason why you are always nagging me, is because I am a man, and you are a woman who is a Proud lesbian wife and mother ! and I believe you have a deep hatred towards men, not me in particular but enough hatred to go after my balls all the fucking time. So Safe_Bet I don't give a fuck who you are, what sexuality you have or anything. I just can't fucking stand you. Because of your behaviour, and well this is not uncommon. Or else I have no clue why the fuck you are always biting my balls. Cause I am getting sick and tired of this shit.

 

[Etoile]

Hey Wolfman, I know you're from Denmark so you're not aware, but Matthew Shepard is one of the most important symbols in the gay community in America. His murder was sad, you're right, but it's also a watershed event in the gay community here. It sparked over a decade of anti-hate crime legislation and inspired thousands of gay activists to take up the cause. In the timeline of major gay events in America, you have Stonewall in 1969, and you have Matthew Shepard in 1998. Other things have happened, other people have lived (and died), but few have had an impact on American gay culture like Matthew Shepard. Now you know.

 

[Etoile]

Just read the edits made to that post. Normally I let S_B pick her own battles, but Wolfman, you should be ASHAMED of yourself. How dare you bring out the "lesbian = ballbuster" bullshit. I have seen plenty of justification for the way S_B responds to you. You're not some innocent flower here you know. You both have hot tempers and you are by no means a victim here.

 

[Wolfman1982]

Etoile: I am not innocent (you must mistake me with some body else ). But S_B is to me a ballbuster. And it looks like S_B and I need to come to the conclusion, that I and her will not go at each other. Except if we agree with each others posts. And since you are a moderator, then I believe you have seen some of my re edits of my posts, cause some of them were even more wild, than the final post has been some times. And also, flame wars are not fun. And me being ashamed ? no , there is no shame in battling. But then again flame wars are not fun, as I have already mentioned. Sorry for the rap speak, in "I and her" instead of "Her and I" but I mean that it is me who needs to do the first step of many in that direction.

 

[Safe_Bet]

Etoile: I am not innocent (you must mistake me with some body else ). But S_B is to me a ballbuster. And it looks like S_B and I need to come to the conclusion, that I and her will not go at each other. Except if we agree with each others posts. And since you are a moderator, then I believe you have seen some of my re edits of my posts, cause some of them were even more wild, than the final post has been some times. And also, flame wars are not fun. And me being ashamed ? no , there is no shame in battling. But then again flame wars are not fun, as I have already mentioned. Sorry for the rap speak, in "I and her" instead of "Her and I" but I mean that it is me who needs to do the first step of many in that direction.

Dude... dont'cha think you are over reacting here just a smidge? I mean let's look at what your stating:

S_B is to me a ballbuster: Ummm, I started this thread and you then posted in it; IN RESPONSE to my postings. I didn't hunt your ass down, sunshine, K?

I and her will not go at each other: Sweetie, when I go at somebody, I usually swing a little harder than telling them my "PERSONAL" definition of "out" and reminding them about Matthew Shepard.

flame wars are not fun: Hon... Sorry, you aren't worth the bother. I'm putting your silliness on ignore and am moving on. I suggest that you do the same.

P.S. Remember... drugs kill, dude...

 

[Wolfman1982]

S_B: yes, I know smoking of normal tobacco kills. But my temper and what not, has nothing to do with drugs. I am just a hot blooded individual who is probably a more honest person than the most. But anyway I am writing to a blind person, so in reality I could give you the full berserker rage . But why should I ? oh well

 

[gloriann]

Anyone mind if I comment on the original post? I'm proud of anyone who comes out, famous or not. It's all brave. I'm not going to change my musical tastes just because someone came out, however.

 

[Safe_Bet]

Anyone mind if I comment on the original post? I'm proud of anyone who comes out, famous or not. It's all brave. I'm not going to change my musical tastes just because someone came out, however.

Sorry for the minor detour....

Maybe "proud of" IS a better description than "brave" (although I still think it does take courage to admit to yourself and others that you truly are queer).

*Snerk* luckily my musical tastes are so eclectic that I don't have a problem fitting a few of his songs into my play list. Not cuz he's queer, but cuz I like the songs.

 

[John Doe]

I dunno...I mean, it's not an easy decision to do so, and harder when you're famous, but I'm not sure it's really all that impressively brave.

Especially when you're in an English boy band. This is sort of like sayng it was brave for Ellen Degeneres or Rosie O'Donnell to come out. Bravery requires some sort of risk.

It's brave to confirm what most people already assumed and just shrugged their shoulders at? Okay...

In fact, I'd say sometimes it's impossible not to...you don't get a choice. You're outed anyway...didn't that happen to Lance Bass? I know Jodie Foster was the subject of debate for years before she came out. Coming out is cool and all, but I don't think it's THAT brave.

Has she ever actually come out? The last I heard (though it was some months ago) was that a "friend" (the media's quotes, not mine) of hers made a comment that may or may not have indicated that they were lovers.

 

[Etoile]

Has she ever actually come out? The last I heard (though it was some moths ago) was that a "friend" (the media's quotes, not mine) of hers made a comment that may or may not have indicated that they were lovers.

Yes, a little while back (less than two years but I forget exactly when) she thanked her partner at a minor little awards show.

Here we go, 2007: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbi...es-emotional-tribute-girlfriend-14-years.html

 

[Wolfman1982]

Yes, a little while back (less than two years but I forget exactly when) she thanked her partner at a minor little awards show.

Here we go, 2007: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbi...es-emotional-tribute-girlfriend-14-years.html

Oh yes, that is true. And Dykewriter who wrote that thread got the same fucking treatment like Our little female Ms. Ignorance. So fuck it, let the famous people who come out of their little closet. Get a bodyguard , cause all that brave bullshit is a joke. Anyway I am off to the vibe. Until I find something important that has something to do with GLBT news world wide.
Cause there are loads of people whom we should know because they were or are "famous" and they have had both sex partners in their bed. But to me they are just people, who are human beings like any one else. So the whole closet thing is a joke. So get out, and do something good for other people. Instead of coming out of "the closet" as usual and give the finger to those who are flagbangers. How clear can that be ? be a good human being, and behave. And so what if I am cursing and swearing, heck I have never said I was perfect, I am just damn honest.

 

[none2_none2]

Oh yes, that is true. And Dykewriter who wrote that thread got the same fucking treatment like Our little female Ms. Ignorance. So fuck it, let the famous people who come out of their little closet. Get a bodyguard , cause all that brave bullshit is a joke. Anyway I am off to the vibe. Until I find something important that has something to do with GLBT news world wide.
Cause there are loads of people whom we should know because they were or are "famous" and they have had both sex partners in their bed. But to me they are just people, who are human beings like any one else. So the whole closet thing is a joke. So get out, and do something good for other people. Instead of coming out of "the closet" as usual and give the finger to those who are flagbangers. How clear can that be ? be a good human being, and behave. And so what if I am cursing and swearing, heck I have never said I was perfect, I am just damn honest.

Wolfman,
I also don't think it is necessary to come out. That being said, it is still a very risky thing to do. Even if a famous person can afford body guards, they still have to make their fans happy. The real famous people have to have a lot of str8 fans simply because non-str8's are in the minority.

I just want to add that I too don't understand why S_B's post got you so upset. She was just stating an opinion. If she really was some stereotyped ballbusting lesbian, don't you think she would have only used a female celebrity's coming out as something to consider worthy to be proud of?

When you are in the minority, it is always best to get along with others in a similar situation? I have a temper too, but unless someone really pisses me off I can usually bite my tongue (or perhaps in this case my typing fingers). I can only recall one lesbian who rubbed me the wrong way. I don't blame that on her because she was female or lesbian, but because she was simply being an asshole. (I don't like to use the term bitch as it is rather sexist.)

If you really think about all the posts that go on this board, I think you would see that there are are lot more male assholes than females. Sometimes I just learn to not let it bother me. For instance, sometimes I feel like ringing the neck of some of these bisexual males (not you by any means) that keep posting "love cock, but everything about men is a turn off". Personally, I think they should all become "chicks-with dicks". After all, it must be painful for them to look in the mirror every day when they brush, floss, shave, etc... since most mirrors aren't at the waist level. Maybe they should just wear a burka, with a hole for their penis to stick out...

Nevertheless, I just choose most of the time not to bother making a comment even though they disgust me.

 

[Wolfman1982]

none2_none2: hey no offence taken, cause I am bisexual man who takes the whole man. And not just his cock, I see transsexuals as the gender they feel they are. And yes I also have a fetish for the female to male transsexuals , but to me they are still women, even though I would love to do some horizontal rumba with some of those ladies because they are enticing in a good way. But ultimately I take people for what they are, not what they aren't. And I treat them fair and square.

 

[Dyke_Writer]

Yes, I posted a thread saying yay for Jodie Foster who came out and can now not have to 'worry' about being outed/can live her life and not be concerned that someone will snap a pic of her holding her girlfriends hand and was subjected to Wolfmans immensely aggressive and rude assaults purely because I said good for her!

I don't know what the problem was in saying that but it seems that wolfman is against anyone even acknowledging others decisions to come out. I didn't realise it was such a crime to say something about these stories that appear in the media about those in the public eye. I do wonder though if the same reaction is delivered when commenting on people whose relationships break up, will the level of aggression and insult be the same if we happen to mention Brad/Angelina/Jennifer, I just don't know.


Regarding Duncan James, well yay for him. If he wants to do that, good for him....although the news of the screws, not the most reliable source.

 

[Etoile]

Oh dear. Not a thread that needed to be bumped.

 

[Stella_Omega]

none2_none2: hey no offence taken, cause I am bisexual man who takes the whole man. And not just his cock, I see transsexuals as the gender they feel they are. And yes I also have a fetish for the female to male transsexuals , but to me they are still women, even though I would love to do some horizontal rumba with some of those ladies because they are enticing in a good way. But ultimately I take people for what they are, not what they aren't. And I treat them fair and square.

One of these things is not like the others...

Unless he mis-wrote that middle statement. it's perfectly possible.

 

[Wolfman1982]

One of these things is not like the others...

Unless he mis-wrote that middle statement. it's perfectly possible.

Shit, sorry for the zombie bump, then I must say well it was a mis-spelling, but since back then. My horizon has broadened a lot, but anyway I would not mind either FtM or Mtf horizontal rumba in bed

 

[Stella_Omega]

Oh for krissakes.

Now I remember why I had you on ignore.

 

[Wolfman1982]

Oh for krissakes.

Now I remember why I had you on ignore.

Hey nice to see you too