How would you introduce someone into BDSM?

[onlyeighteen]

I've found that these are my favourite types of stories to read and i fantasise a lot about being controlled...

As a Dominant, how would you introduce a new and willing Sub?

 

[sardoniclaugh]

A nice long session of mad scientist.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

I've found that these are my favourite types of stories to read and i fantasise a lot about being controlled...

As a Dominant, how would you introduce a new and willing Sub?

Does she wear a sign that says, "New and willing submissive - teach me!" or does she just look like a normal 18-year-old girl-woman with roiling hormones?

In the former case, I'd lay out my floggers case, canes case and toys case, and ask her to pick out the three items that most terrify her and the three that most intrigue her, then start playing from there.

In the latter case, she'd have to demonstrate some propensity toward submission - see this thread and my response to it - and *then* I'd lay out the floggers, canes and toys cases as above.

 

[kikmosa]

.....

 

[Braschi]

What an intriguing question, from a general standpoint. I'm guessing you are thinking of your boyfriend in this respect? And, to parrot the worthy Sir Winston, have you talked to him yet?

A lot of people make the mistake of thinking there is such a thing as BDSM; it's just an acronym, a moniker to help people communicate, that covers a very wide territory of likes and interests (and fantasies). There is no such thing as a "proper" way of doing things or being -though, in order to fit into a certain category, you do have to meet a certain definition. Be yourself, and the important part of a relationship is communication. That way, your partner can know what you want, and definitely want to not have; and vice versa.

How to have that conversation? Well, that's based on how you normally communicate in your relationship more than anything, and the amount of confidence -not trust- that you have. I mean, there are couples who can talk about practically anything that pops into either's head; while there are others who are more reserved, because starting a particular subject could be "leading somewhere..." if you know what I mean...

 

[YourCaptor]

Just start talking about it more frequently to them.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Show them a story or two that you are reading and ask them about it.

Watch the movie - Secretary - with them and see how they react. What, if anything turns them on, what turns them off, then talk about it.