The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[Tio_Narratore]

And you see the rake's progress. . .


I put in a spare tine

and get a repaired pitchfork.

I put in a roll in the hay...

 

[Handley_Page]

and get a repaired pitchfork.

I put in a roll in the hay...

and, covered in dust, it's inedible.


I put in a nubile and willing partner

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, covered in dust, it's inedible.


I put in a nubile and willing partner

and as you lay back and say "go! Baby, go!" she gets up and leaves.

I put in a confused and dazed visage...

 

[Handley_Page]

and as you lay back and say "go! Baby, go!" she gets up and leaves.

I put in a confused and dazed visage...

and one can now get some sleep.

I put in a sweet dream

 

[Austin8]

and one can now get some sleep.

I put in a sweet dream

and Jimmy Page appears as the grim reaper

I put in the Song Remains The Same

 

[Handley_Page]

and Jimmy Page appears as the grim reaper

I put in the Song Remains The Same

and the melody lingers on


I put in a new phonograph needle

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and the melody lingers on


I put in a new phonograph needle

and, it becomes a vaccination needle and I keep talking and talking and talking.

I put in broken record.

 

[Handley_Page]

and, it becomes a vaccination needle and I keep talking and talking and talking.

I put in broken record.

Nothing can go wrong;
can go wrong;
can go wrong;
can go wrong;

I put in a tube of glue

 

[Austin8]

Nothing can go wrong;
can go wrong;
can go wrong;
can go wrong;

I put in a tube of glue

number 9;
number 9;
number 9;

I put in a Big Green Apple

 

[YoursSINSerely]

number 9;
number 9;
number 9;

I put in a Big Green Apple

thank God Paul is alive!

I put in a map of Penny Lane.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

thank God Paul is alive!

I put in a map of Penny Lane.

and her sister Lois gets jealous.

I put in Mellow Yellow...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and her sister Lois gets jealous.

I put in Mellow Yellow...

and, now we know what color the strawberry fields turn in the fall.

I put in a big yellow boat.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, now we know what color the strawberry fields turn in the fall.

I put in a big yellow boat.

and it sails beneath the waves.

I put in a requiem for Paul (the octopus, that is)...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and it sails beneath the waves.

I put in a requiem for Paul (the octopus, that is)...

and, it is scheduled for the 8th day of the 8th month.

I put in a happier 9th month.

 

[Austin8]

and it sails beneath the waves.

I put in a requiem for Paul (the octopus, that is)...

coo coo ca choo

I put in a album playing backwards. As it spins, the aliens listen in awe as it reveals telling things about Bar! Hahaha!

 

[YoursSINSerely]

coo coo ca choo

I put in a album playing backwards. As it spins, the aliens listen in awe as it reveals telling things about Bar! Hahaha!

and, you hear it say "she is alive and living happily everafter in her little cabin just east of the river."

I put in a B side of a 45.

 

[Handley_Page]

and, you hear it say "she is alive and living happily everafter in her little cabin just east of the river."

I put in a B side of a 45.

and set it beside the 78. [ ouch!]


I put in a large curved mirror

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and set it beside the 78. [ ouch!]


I put in a large curved mirror

and, I look so much taller and thinner in it. Thank you!

I put in two tickets to a fun house.

 

[Austin8]

and, I look so much taller and thinner in it. Thank you!

I put in two tickets to a fun house.

and it's.... fun!

I put in a run with a good man, and acquaintance, Gilbert Tuhabonye.

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and it's.... fun!

I put in a run with a good man, and acquaintance, Gilbert Tuhabonye.

and, he runs like a lion and I walk like a snail.

I put in a new pair of sneaks.

 

[Austin8]

and, he runs like a lion and I walk like a snail.

I put in a new pair of sneaks.

he actually runs more like a Gazelle!

and those sneaks turn into Snickers

I put in some Icy Hot

 

[YoursSINSerely]

he actually runs more like a Gazelle!

and those sneaks turn into Snickers

I put in some Icy Hot

and, you finally understand about menapause. First, you're hot, then you're cold.

I put in a kitchen witch.

 

[kimbalee]

and, you finally understand about menapause. First, you're hot, then you're cold.

I put in a kitchen witch.

and she flies away with your broom

I put in a bowl of Halloween candy...

 

[LunaEroticaMystica]

and out comes my missing Druid Animal Oracle deck. And all this time, I thought it had been stolen.

I put in the Morrigan...

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and out comes my missing Druid Animal Oracle deck. And all this time, I thought it had been stolen.

I put in the Morrigan...

and you get back Lessagain.

I put in two Bluestones...