Hi I'm new here and I guess I should start out by saying I'm bi, married to a man, and I am also a mother. I was just wondering if anyone else is bi and married. My husband just recently found out that I am looking at the girls in the porn just as much as the guys. Anyways it just kind of came out that I would not mind having another woman in the bedroom. I should also clarify that this person would have a GF kind of relationship with both of us and not like a one night stand lets get kinky kind of thing. Not that I'm looking. But ya, thoughts on this. Anyone try this? How did it go?
bisexual marriage
- Thread starter geeraff
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Experiencedguy
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Oh yes -- more of us than you can imagine. Look, honesty and openness goes a long way. We dd not have an "open" marriage as such. Usually 3 some's or 4 some's. Most often the two of us, with either a guy or gal. Our rules were simple: If one of us said the other can't fuck so and so, then that person was off limit, and to make it with that person was cheating. Also, if either of us had private sex with another person (of either sex), that was okay, if the other knew about it in advance, and was told all the details. I know most people will think I'm a sick bastard for such a lifestyle, but it worked great for us until her death.
bobbyinhouston
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Bi Marriage
Hi! Bobby and Nicki here married for twenty years and both enjoy same sex encounters. Bobby has been bi forever and enjoyed both men and women for sexual fun. Nicki has just recently started having fun with women but is making up for lost time.
We enjoy same room encounters but sometimes go off by ourselves and have fun,as long as the other is aware what is going on.Look foward too many more encounters because life is too short.
Hi! Bobby and Nicki here married for twenty years and both enjoy same sex encounters. Bobby has been bi forever and enjoyed both men and women for sexual fun. Nicki has just recently started having fun with women but is making up for lost time.
We enjoy same room encounters but sometimes go off by ourselves and have fun,as long as the other is aware what is going on.Look foward too many more encounters because life is too short.
Stella_Omega
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I'm bi, and have been in an open marriage for thirty-four years. 
You have to make sure your primary partner and you trust each other to be honest and to be flexible.
Our most important rule is that we never ever get involved with anyone who can't respect our SO. I'm the one that's broken that rule... And I broke off that relationship once I was able to get my head straight.
http://www.polyamorysociety.org/
You have to make sure your primary partner and you trust each other to be honest and to be flexible.
Our most important rule is that we never ever get involved with anyone who can't respect our SO. I'm the one that's broken that rule...
And I broke off that relationship once I was able to get my head straight.http://www.polyamorysociety.org/
thnks for the responses. His concern is that I would leave him for a woman or find new love...other than that he has admitted some of my FFM fantisies are kind of hot and he even admitted he liked the idea of me walking in her giving him a blow job. How do I ease his concerns? He's also kind of freaked out and thinks I'm going to go out and find a GF which I'm not going to just wanting to keep my options open if we need to spice things up in the future or if I sence something growing between myself a female friend. And of course if she didn't respect my husband it'd be over.
BTW I'm totally for polygamy as long as gay marriage is legal too and basically marry whoever you want. Would love to have hubby and a wife and both of us are his wives. He admits that would be kind of hot but he's unsure of the dynamics.
BTW I'm totally for polygamy as long as gay marriage is legal too and basically marry whoever you want. Would love to have hubby and a wife and both of us are his wives. He admits that would be kind of hot but he's unsure of the dynamics.
Stella_Omega
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Geeraf, I don't know your husband or yourself, so I don't know what would ease his concerns-- his trust in your love and your honesty, mostly. Let him think about it for a while, get used to the idea. And of course his dick will help your cause-- what red-blooded hetero man wouldn't want to get in the middle of two women? 
CNYCarol
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This is very similar to a Poliamorous Relationship. The big deal is to ensure everyone that there are no jealousy issues.
I was never good at that myself, I had a hubby that I could share with her but most of the time I wanted her to myself.
...and the thought of her with him, if I wasn't there, was unfathomable!
Lady_Fiona
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I am bi, married and have a son. My husband has NO interest in my sexuality and NO interest in finding out. So those of you in happy, open marriages, count your blessings.
Mikijl Dragon
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My wife and I had a live in boyfriend for about a year. It ended when he starting wanted her and only her and told her to leave me. She told him no and that was the end of it. We are all still friends and he now has a wife and kids.
That experience gave us some perspective. Having a relationship can work but it is a wicked balancing act, Hard to maintain, Sex is awesome, Not something we plan to do anytime soon if at all. Right now sex with other people is just that sex, no emotional attachments. It is what works best for us.
That experience gave us some perspective. Having a relationship can work but it is a wicked balancing act, Hard to maintain, Sex is awesome, Not something we plan to do anytime soon if at all. Right now sex with other people is just that sex, no emotional attachments. It is what works best for us.
Stella_Omega
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There were few men that I didn't marry because they felt they had the right to be jealous. But then-- I knew that I was non-monogamous from a very early age, so I count that as a blessing as well.
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I think my husband is the one who would have jelousy issues. I for one find the idea of my husband having sex with another woman...that is if she was hot and was willing to do me too...tantalizing. But hubby worries I will like her more than him or something and that wouldn't be the case because a relationship with a man is totally different from one with a man. Also if nothing else I believe that little boys need father figures in their lives and he is the best daddy I know (which turns me on BTW) and I couldn't live without my boy or deprive him of the best daddy in the world.
WickedWendyDru
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Trust & Communication
I'm a bisexual female who just celebrated ten years married to a bisexual male. We don't call our marriage "open" because it isn't - it's ours and it's closed. The vows we took were simple: You I take above all others, forever. Note, though, that we did not vow to take each other *exclusively* forever, because that woud've been foolish. We both knew when we met what we were getting into - between the two of us we'd already fucked a small principality.
Our rules are simple. We only play together. We have to agree on our partners. Trust and communication come first. Sex is great, it feels wonderful, but in the end, it's just a ten second chemical reaction. Our marriage has already lasted for ten years and will hopefully last another twenty to thirty (sounds like a prison sentence... but in terms of an orgasm...)
That's my take. Trust. Communicate. If you don't have those in your marriage, it won't matter who you're sleeping with.
I'm a bisexual female who just celebrated ten years married to a bisexual male. We don't call our marriage "open" because it isn't - it's ours and it's closed. The vows we took were simple: You I take above all others, forever. Note, though, that we did not vow to take each other *exclusively* forever, because that woud've been foolish. We both knew when we met what we were getting into - between the two of us we'd already fucked a small principality.
Our rules are simple. We only play together. We have to agree on our partners. Trust and communication come first. Sex is great, it feels wonderful, but in the end, it's just a ten second chemical reaction. Our marriage has already lasted for ten years and will hopefully last another twenty to thirty (sounds like a prison sentence... but in terms of an orgasm...)
That's my take. Trust. Communicate. If you don't have those in your marriage, it won't matter who you're sleeping with.
I'm glad that you're getting several testimonials from people who have made it work, and I sincerely hope that you can make it work for you and your husband.
In full disclosure, I've never been married and have limited experience with multi-partner scenarios, but I would like to offer a response to part of your question. You asked how to help him get over his fear that you'll leave him for "her". I think the first step is to explicitly acknowledge that fear as valid and reasonable, even if it's unlikely. Verbally tell him you understand that concern and appreciate him bringing it up - it's a realistic thing to worry about. (For yourself, feel flattered that he values your relationship so much that his first though is about its integrity, not about how great it is that he can have an FFM threesome.)
As everyone has said, the key to success is is open, honest communication around expectations and limits. Having trust and confidence in the absolute primacy of your relationship with each other is crucial, and one way to build that trust and confidence is openly discussing the situation. If you're truly honest with yourself, isn't there some part of you that worries about the chance (however small) that either you OR he might start to fall for "her" more than each other? By sharing with him your concerns and expectations, whatever they are, you can demonstrate that you, too, take the risks seriously and want to address and alleviate them.
During these conversations, you can reiterate all the things about him that you love, the reasons you married him, how happy you are together, and your point about seeing him as the best possible father for your kids. It might also help to point out that "she" is going to be an occasional addition to your bed and relationship, not a third spouse.
Of course, if you're really seeking a truly balanced polygamous marriage, that's something a bit different and would require a lot more discussion about the kind of relationship you both want. Regardless, it's certainly legitimate to discuss how much of a role you want "her" to have in your lives.
Bottom line: Plan to have several conversations in which you both openly share your hopes, fears, and expectations with each other, and make a point to not dismiss or diminish each other's fears, no matter how unlikely they seem to the other. To the person having them, they ARE realistic and deserve to be treated with respect while you work on alleviating them.
Good luck!
In full disclosure, I've never been married and have limited experience with multi-partner scenarios, but I would like to offer a response to part of your question. You asked how to help him get over his fear that you'll leave him for "her". I think the first step is to explicitly acknowledge that fear as valid and reasonable, even if it's unlikely. Verbally tell him you understand that concern and appreciate him bringing it up - it's a realistic thing to worry about. (For yourself, feel flattered that he values your relationship so much that his first though is about its integrity, not about how great it is that he can have an FFM threesome.)
As everyone has said, the key to success is is open, honest communication around expectations and limits. Having trust and confidence in the absolute primacy of your relationship with each other is crucial, and one way to build that trust and confidence is openly discussing the situation. If you're truly honest with yourself, isn't there some part of you that worries about the chance (however small) that either you OR he might start to fall for "her" more than each other? By sharing with him your concerns and expectations, whatever they are, you can demonstrate that you, too, take the risks seriously and want to address and alleviate them.
During these conversations, you can reiterate all the things about him that you love, the reasons you married him, how happy you are together, and your point about seeing him as the best possible father for your kids. It might also help to point out that "she" is going to be an occasional addition to your bed and relationship, not a third spouse.
Of course, if you're really seeking a truly balanced polygamous marriage, that's something a bit different and would require a lot more discussion about the kind of relationship you both want. Regardless, it's certainly legitimate to discuss how much of a role you want "her" to have in your lives.
Bottom line: Plan to have several conversations in which you both openly share your hopes, fears, and expectations with each other, and make a point to not dismiss or diminish each other's fears, no matter how unlikely they seem to the other. To the person having them, they ARE realistic and deserve to be treated with respect while you work on alleviating them.
Good luck!
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This actually helped a lot. I've been thinking and while I hate the idea of one night stands and would never be that. It would be best to experiement with it before diving head first. For all I know I will discover this feeling you can jelousy and it won't work. Or there is no concieveable way to keep it from his mother which would be a big deal. If she knew he was married to someone who was bi (or in her words a whore) she would try to kick us off the land...that or work harder to try to divorce us...BTW my MIL hates me if you can't tell feelings are mutual.
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