For us to know and you to find out.

[Duncan1981]

So I was wondering after pushing a Sub so far last night past her limits...How do my fellow Masters/Doms/whatever else you call yourselves feel after you have managed to go just past their limits? I find it sexually arousing to watch as they are so sit in their ways and when they say "I would never...." only to have them do it right before our eyes. I consider myself an odd Master inwhich I am romantic about my encounters...I find it more of an art form to bend the wills of others to how I want them to be.

 

[SimonBrooke]

So I was wondering after pushing a Sub so far last night past her limits...How do my fellow Masters/Doms/whatever else you call yourselves feel after you have managed to go just past their limits? I find it sexually arousing to watch as they are so sit in their ways and when they say "I would never...." only to have them do it right before our eyes. I consider myself an odd Master inwhich I am romantic about my encounters...I find it more of an art form to bend the wills of others to how I want them to be.

Taking someone PAST their limits is something I try very hard never to do. You can leave people traumatised, and you will certainly wreck your relationship if you do it casually or too often. Obviously, TTTWD involves highly risky play, and sometimes accidents will happen. But mastery, as a dominant, lies in taking your pyl right to the very outermost edge of her limits without going past them. And if you are going to risk going past them, it's important that you're confident that your relationship is strong enough to give you a chance to repair the damage you've done.

But I agree that many subs substantially underestimate where their true limits are.

 

[where]

If they are doing whatever it is without coercion or threat or whatever, then maybe it was never a real limit, but like Simon Says, pushing a sub past a real limit could be a bad thing to do. I can't think many pyls would trust or respect a PYL who routinely does this.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

If they are doing whatever it is without coercion or threat or whatever, then maybe it was never a real limit, but like Simon Says, pushing a sub past a real limit could be a bad thing to do. I can't think many pyls would trust or respect a PYL who routinely does this.

For most, it would only take once. One nasty incident, and if the trust is broken, it can be very hard to regain.

Gently guiding someone past a limit though, with much care, is a whole other kettle of fish. I've done things with Mr I swore black and blue I woould never do. Things change as time goes by. And I'd agree with Simon that most people aren't fully aware of where their limits are. With a lot of stuff, it can be 'ok, have a go, and see where the line is.' You won't know till you try.

There lies risk with those strategies though. You need to know someone well enough to know when they're getting close, and they need to know themselves well enough to know that too.


PS: I still have no idea what this thread title is about though. It appears entirely unrelated to the post.

 

[Duncan1981]

I agree you should not do it to often, but these are all good spot on's for the idea of the question but not the answers I am looking for. What I am indeed asking is when it does happen and we all know that it has at some point...How does it make you feel to see them break past their limit?

P.s

You are right about the title...should of given it some thought.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Please edit that post, it's not getting your point across too clearly.

 

[switchbitch]

I agree you should not do it to often, but these are all good spot on's for the idea of the question but not the answers I am looking for. What I am indeed asking is when it does happen and we all you that it has at some point...How does it make you feel?

P.s

You are right about the title...should of given it some thought.

I enjoy pushing my submissives pass their SUPPOSED limits, and I enjoy being pushed past mine. This doesn't necessarily work well for everyone but but for those of us that like the dark thrill it is wonderful

 

[Duncan1981]

Very nice answer Switchbitch.

 

[Commedia]

So I was wondering after pushing a Sub so far last night past her limits...How do my fellow Masters/Doms/whatever else you call yourselves feel after you have managed to go just past their limits? I find it sexually arousing to watch as they are so sit in their ways and when they say "I would never...." only to have them do it right before our eyes. I consider myself an odd Master inwhich I am romantic about my encounters...I find it more of an art form to bend the wills of others to how I want them to be.

I very much agree with you. Many people don't really know how far their limits really go. They may say they would never do something but, when pushed, they will. That's a very large part of how I treat my sub. However, it is important that you do know their limits, even when they don't. It can be quite easy to push someone too far, and you need to be able to recognize how far the person you're with can be pushed, because it can be very hard on them, and likely ruin any sort of relationship you have with them.

 

[Duncan1981]

I very much agree with you. Many people don't really know how far their limits really go. They may say they would never do something but, when pushed, they will. That's a very large part of how I treat my sub. However, it is important that you do know their limits, even when they don't. It can be quite easy to push someone too far, and you need to be able to recognize how far the person you're with can be pushed, because it can be very hard on them, and likely ruin any sort of relationship you have with them.

Yes yes the point you are making is a giveen, what I should of added is that I do take time to learn my slaves well enough to know how far that can go without any kind of damage. However it is a very good point ot make and I am glad others and yourself are doing so. This is strickly a question of how you as the Dom/Domme feel when you do this to another.

 

[YourCaptor]

Usually I take a piss and nap, then demand sandwich.

Naw actually, limits are not so great, I wish a girl who gives up all her limits right at the door. Doesn’t mean I will go there, but if I did, I could, and I would.

If it’s a phobic thing or something like that of course she can tell me, but I’d rather not know till it actually comes up.

Subs with shopping lists of what they don’t want suck… in a bad way.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Subs with shopping lists of what they don’t want suck… in a bad way.

Wouldn't you call someone like that a bottom, rather than a sub?

I would.

 

[YourCaptor]

Wouldn't you call someone like that a bottom, rather than a sub?

I would.

I call everything sub... When I look at pyls, little categories don't pop up, just, yup, that one takes it.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Yes yes the point you are making is a giveen, what I should of added is that I do take time to learn my slaves well enough to know how far that can go without any kind of damage. However it is a very good point ot make and I am glad others and yourself are doing so. This is strickly a question of how you as the Dom/Domme feel when you do this to another.

I think you're not getting answers because people DON'T break other people's limits. It's a stupidass thing to do on purpose.

Just accept people's feelings on pushing soft limits and be happy.

 

[Duncan1981]

I think you're not getting answers because people DON'T break other people's limits. It's a stupidass thing to do on purpose.

Just accept people's feelings on pushing soft limits and be happy.

Sorry Lizzie the normal stuff doesn't really work for me. It's like seeing someone infront of you with a 9-tail and think ohhh will he/she use that on me? Or. I should please he/she before I have that used on me. Make sense? Either way I can tell your soft on this area so really no reason to respond is there? I mean I am not putting down what you are into but clearly it's not this.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Sorry Lizzie the normal stuff doesn't really work for me. It's like seeing someone infront of you with a 9-tail and think ohhh will he/she use that on me? Or. I should please he/she before I have that used on me. Make sense? Either way I can tell your soft on this area so really no reason to respond is there? I mean I am not putting down what you are into but clearly it's not this.

What does that have to do with breaking limits?



You have no idea what I'm "into" but you're also clearly not understanding the concept of limits.

People's limits can be all kinds of things. A limit is what's going to cause psychological damage to a person. That might be a 9 foot whip, that might be a feather. Or a spider. Or anal sex. Or humiliation. Or collars.

Whatever it is, if it's a serious limits that's going to hurt them emotionally, you don't break it.

And that's why people are talking about pushing soft limits, not hard ones. Because you DON'T BREAK HARD LIMITS. Whatever they are.

 

[Duncan1981]

What does that have to do with breaking limits?

QUOTE]

I like cake.

 

[seela]

Like I've said elsewhere, I need to be pushed past my limits. I need to get into that dark and lonely place where I feel like I've been broken into pieces and have to regroup on a very fundamental level. It is not for everybody, but for me it's a core need that I've been struggling to accept.

And how does the PYL feel in those situations? I would hope good. Isn't it the reason (in the big picture) why people do these things?

But I feel like this thread is suffering of the message getting mixed with the messenger's posts on other threads... With a slightly different general attitude from the OP this might have become more of a discussion than what it is now.

 

[Duncan1981]

Like I've said elsewhere, I need to be pushed past my limits. I need to get into that dark and lonely place where I feel like I've been broken into pieces and have to regroup on a very fundamental level. It is not for everybody, but for me it's a core need that I've been struggling to accept.

And how does the PYL feel in those situations? I would hope good. Isn't it the reason (in the big picture) why people do these things?

But I feel like this thread is suffering of the message getting mixed with the messenger's posts on other threads... With a slightly different general attitude from the OP this might have become more of a discussion than what it is now.

Thank you for your post and for being honest, I enjoyed reading this view. Was perfect for the idea of the thread.

 

[SimonBrooke]

And that's why people are talking about pushing soft limits, not hard ones. Because you DON'T BREAK HARD LIMITS. Whatever they are.

I'm going to play with my new plaything for the first time in fifteen days. We don't either of us really know where her hard limits are, because she's explicitly asked me to take her further than she's ever been taken before. I've told her I won't gag her on this visit, because she needs to be able to safeword. But we both know that sometimes in the stress of the moment your brain and vocal chords don't necessarily co-operate with each other. I'm obviously going to have to be very sensitive, and I probably won't push her as hard as she really wants - at least not until we know one another better. But fairly soon I am going to have to gag her, because that is one of the things she wants to experience.

I agree very much that one should be as careful as possible not to break hard limits. But when you're mapping the territory it's inevitable that there's a risk of overstepping marks. This thing that we do is inherently not safe. She knows this as well as I do, and she's given me no limits on what I may do provided I don't permanently injure her. But it's got to be an exploration.

Respect and care - and aftercare - are critical. Sensitivity and control are critical. Judging how much she can take and where to stop are critical. But she needs me to explore, to push boundaries. I'll fail her if I don't, just as much as I'll fail her if I push her beyond hard limits. I need to try to walk a line. I could fail, she knows that, we've discussed it.

But what I'm trying to say is that while one should - as you say - never deliberately overstep a hard limit, sometimes one will come up that you neither of you knew was there. Sometimes the overstep will be by accident. And if you're going to take someone to the edge, both of you need to acknowledge that and think seriously about how you will respond if it happens.

She needs above all to be made to feel very safe, very quickly after such an event; and it's possible that she will need someone else - i.e. not you - to make her feel safe. Be aware. Prepare for it. But do your damnedest to make sure it never happens.

 

[Duncan1981]

I'm going to play with my new plaything for the first time in fifteen days. We don't either of us really know where her hard limits are, because she's explicitly asked me to take her further than she's ever been taken before. I've told her I won't gag her on this visit, because she needs to be able to safeword. But we both know that sometimes in the stress of the moment your brain and vocal chords don't necessarily co-operate with each other. I'm obviously going to have to be very sensitive, and I probably won't push her as hard as she really wants - at least not until we know one another better. But fairly soon I am going to have to gag her, because that is one of the things she wants to experience.

I agree very much that one should be as careful as possible not to break hard limits. But when you're mapping the territory it's inevitable that there's a risk of overstepping marks. This thing that we do is inherently not safe. She knows this as well as I do, and she's given me no limits on what I may do provided I don't permanently injure her. But it's got to be an exploration.

Respect and care - and aftercare - are critical. Sensitivity and control are critical. Judging how much she can take and where to stop are critical. But she needs me to explore, to push boundaries. I'll fail her if I don't, just as much as I'll fail her if I push her beyond hard limits. I need to try to walk a line. I could fail, she knows that, we've discussed it.

But what I'm trying to say is that while one should - as you say - never deliberately overstep a hard limit, sometimes one will come up that you neither of you knew was there. Sometimes the overstep will be by accident. And if you're going to take someone to the edge, both of you need to acknowledge that and think seriously about how you will respond if it happens.

She needs above all to be made to feel very safe, very quickly after such an event; and it's possible that she will need someone else - i.e. not you - to make her feel safe. Be aware. Prepare for it. But do your damnedest to make sure it never happens.

All of these are very good points Simon. And Lizzie if you nothing to add in your own experiences really no need for you to be posting in here is there? I mean unless you just wanna stir up some shit. But that would be against site rules right.

 

[CutieMouse]

And Lizzie if you nothing to add in your own experiences really no need for you to be posting in here is there? I mean unless you just wanna stir up some shit. But that would be against site rules right.

Actually, Lit is a Free Speech Site. Which means the same "rules" that allow you to loudly broadcast exactly how young and arrogant you are with every word you type, allows Lizzie [or anyone else] to respond however she [they] choose.

Link

Welcome to the double edged sword that is Literotica.

 

[Duncan1981]

Actually, Lit is a Free Speech Site. Which means the same "rules" that allow you to loudly broadcast exactly how young and arrogant you are with every word you type, allows Lizzie [or anyone else] to respond however she [they] choose.

Link

Welcome to the double edged sword that is Literotica.

-Grins- that double edge sword may just bite you in the ass unless you want me to start posting dumb comments after each of you and hers post.

 

[ImOnIt]

-Grins- that double edge sword may just bite you in the ass unless you want me to start posting dumb comments after each of you and hers post.

Hi Duncan, I think you misunderstand mouse. You can do actually anything, but all we can see are the words that you write. I want you to go read your posts in this thread again. Then, decide what you are trying to share with us. If there is a difference between what you are trying to say and what you have written down, fix it, completely refrain from attacking people and express yourself again.

If you aren't 21 (I'm just guessing here), pretending to be 29 is unrealistic.

 

[Duncan1981]

Let me add this then...I understand how you are thinking this is an attack on them and maybe it is, but then again the thing is I don't really care how they view me and my belifes nor will I change them just to fit into an on-line thread. Now since they have felt the need to jump into each thread I have posted on and yes I have indeed checked, I will return the favor in a much more harsh way. Now to clear the idea of the OP I have done that and have gotten a few good postings that I was looking for. Wish it would have gone on more but with continued dumbass post from some I believe they have killed it. Hence I will be seeing about closing the thread. And btw I am 28 not 29.