The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[Tio_Narratore]

and, all his male servants are quite pleased with the job.

I put in a maid's costume.

and you really clean up at the Hallowe'en party.

I put in a game of bobbing for boobies...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you really clean up at the Hallowe'en party.

I put in a game of bobbing for boobies...

and, the lady in the ghost costume says, "Boo."

I put in a used white sheet.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, the lady in the ghost costume says, "Boo."

I put in a used white sheet.

and the Grand Wizard of the Klan rejects it as "smelling too much of degenerate sex."

I put in a bit of old-fashioned Southern miscegenation...

 

[Handley_Page]

and the Grand Wizard of the Klan rejects it as "smelling too much of degenerate sex."

I put in a bit of old-fashioned Southern miscegenation...

and your hear Blue Mink singing "Melting Pot" in the background.


I put in a first folio.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and your hear Blue Mink singing "Melting Pot" in the background.


I put in a first folio.

and you end up second fiddle.

I put in a fugue in D minor...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you end up second fiddle.

I put in a fugue in D minor...

and, you end up with Air on a G string.

I put in a peaceful evening.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, you end up with Air on a G string.

I put in a peaceful evening.

and your G-string is untied by someone searching for your G-spot.

I put in a hooked finger...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and your G-string is untied by someone searching for your G-spot.

I put in a hooked finger...

and, the Captain has that come hither look in his eye.

I put in a treasure.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, the Captain has that come hither look in his eye.

I put in a treasure.

and the Captain finds some pleasure.

I put in a bejeweled dancing girl...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and the Captain finds some pleasure.

I put in a bejeweled dancing girl...

and, she shimmies and shakes and her jewels start to fall off one by one to reveal her pearl.

I put in a plateful of oysters.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, she shimmies and shakes and her jewels start to fall off one by one to reveal her pearl.

I put in a plateful of oysters.

and they're eagerly lapped up by pearl divers in search of the glistening little prize.

I put in a dinner at Sloppy Louie's on SOuth Street...

 

[Handley_Page]

and they're eagerly lapped up by pearl divers in search of the glistening little prize.

I put in a dinner at Sloppy Louie's on SOuth Street...

and get sloppy soup all down your new tie.


I put a bib.

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and get sloppy soup all down your new tie.


I put a bib.

and, the lettuce creates a delicious bed for the crabmeat salad.

I put in a very large large portion of deep fried aligator chunks.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, the lettuce creates a delicious bed for the crabmeat salad.

I put in a very large large portion of deep fried aligator chunks.

and the Miccosukee give you honorary membership in the tribe.

I put in a new Chickee on a secluded hammock deep in Big Cypress...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and the Miccosukee give you honorary membership in the tribe.

I put in a new Chickee on a secluded hammock deep in Big Cypress...

and, I can only assume you'll be up all night....keeping the alligators out while I get my beauty rest.

I put in a misquito net.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, I can only assume you'll be up all night....keeping the alligators out while I get my beauty rest.

I put in a misquito net.

and you catch enough of the pests to make a pie.

I put in a display of 'gator wrestling...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you catch enough of the pests to make a pie.

I put in a display of 'gator wrestling...

and, those aren't gator's I'm watching roll over and over.

I put in a knock off golf shirt with a dragon on it.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, those aren't gator's I'm watching roll over and over.

I put in a knock off golf shirt with a dragon on it.

and the Izod alligator sues for copyright infringement.

I put in an inane defense of intellectual and artistic theft...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and the Izod alligator sues for copyright infringement.

I put in an inane defense of intellectual and artistic theft...

and, the Literotica Vending Machine goes into a tilt mode with all of the lawyers briefs stuffed inside it and shuts down completely.

I put in a pair of silk plaid boxers to replace all of the other nonsense.

 

[Handley_Page]

and, the Literotica Vending Machine goes into a tilt mode with all of the lawyers briefs stuffed inside it and shuts down completely.

I put in a pair of silk plaid boxers to replace all of the other nonsense.

and the silkworms go on strike, demanding the return of the threads.

I put in a small detonator in order to re-start the machine.

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and the silkworms go on strike, demanding the return of the threads.

I put in a small detonator in order to re-start the machine.

and, you hear a Kaboom from the grave.

I put in a new definition for RIP.

 

[Handley_Page]

and, you hear a Kaboom from the grave.

I put in a new definition for RIP.

as defined by 1024 ghosts who complain about having been woken up by a very loud bang and not the Trumpet of Gabriel.

I put in a pair of ear defenders.

 

[Noor]

as defined by 1024 ghosts who complain about having been woken up by a very loud bang and not the Trumpet of Gabriel.

I put in a pair of ear defenders.

and you get an eye shade

I put in a pair of sleeping socks

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get an eye shade

I put in a pair of sleeping socks

with the new, guaranteed "auto wake-up" feature.


I put in a ticking off from the Boss for being late.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

with the new, guaranteed "auto wake-up" feature.


I put in a ticking off from the Boss for being late.

and you get a visit from a recruiter for a laid-back Cali software company.

I put in a game of office frisbee...