Possibly odd question

[Earthgoddess]

Hello all,
I have researched this, and thought about it, and finally decided to come out and ask here. How do those of you who work in conservative fields deal with the bruises and marks left after play? I work in education, I enjoy among other things, being bitten, intensely. I also seem to bruise like a professional, if there were such a job. I got a lot of teasing today at work-pre-kid week clean up-for obviously dating a wolf. I apologized and whatnot, and had thought the outfit choice was covering them. Apparently not, as my boss playfully advised me to tell the wolf to ,"Bite south."
So I have cool friends, and a great work environment-but really I can not walk around with mega marks. As fun and delicious as that would be,and with this man it would be so fun, it won't work for teacher to be covered in deep neck bruises. So although the lupine in question has apologized and offered to make alternate bite paths, I am seeking additional solutions. There is just something amazing about being bitten on the neck that I don't think other body parts will evoke.
I know, I shall experiment, and I am doing all sorts of things-arnica,ice,dry brush effleurage,investing in turtlenecks and cravats. I was just wondering if there was any wisdom about this that I might have missed. I hate to give this up, and self restraint is not a talent of mine. I mean this does not seem fair, I can tactfully hide the adoration of oral servitude, even spanking can be discreetly hidden, but the ravaging of my throat just seems to stand out.
Any advice is appreciated, as I want to keep being bitten, oh dear Lord how I want that...and short of a tattoo sleeve on my neck, I am just not sure how to balance my wanton and my work.
My own children did not seem to notice-thank god for scarves-but my ex-husband did and it caused a row this weekend. Plus I am grad school for Social Work, and had a well intended fellow student( who sits next to me in a crowded classroom) tactfully offer her services if I felt I was being abused. These bits are deftly handled, the kids at school will be far more challenging as will their parents. With the nose ring and the tats I do not want any additional issues to arise...yet I also do not want to surrender what has become a very dear and much adored part of my play. The gentleman involved has maintained all typical and respectful limits, safe words,checklists, check-ins and whatnot. I am asking for this, ok whimpering for it. Yet due to my fabulous bruising abilities I fear losing this lovely bit of play until ascots come back into style. Please help, as I want to keep my professional standing and my submission in balance.

 

[CutieMouse]

You make the sacrifice and find places to be bitten that aren't as obvious.

I believe shoulder/shoulder blade is particularly painful, as is the side of the ribs towards the underneath of the shoulder blade... hmmm... someone else can probably explain it better.

I know for a week or two last spring I walked around with a very obvious bite shaped bruise on the back of my upper arm (that's a deliciously painful spot, too). Whenever someone asked, I just grinned and said "Oh that? It's where ___ bit me the other night... "

 

[Earthgoddess]

Thank you

Cutie,thank you for the alternate suggestions, the throat has such appeal due to the breath play aspect. And damn there is something about his bending down and kissing me then moving to that exposed throat*shivers* but I suppose experimenting with other fun bits is part of the process.
Not sure my homeopath is up for this topic but she is another resource in regard to the bruising I suppose.

 

[VelvetSin]

If you bruise too easily, you may want to get checked out by a doctor to make sure there are no underlying medical conditions.

That medical public service announcement aside, I bruise easily also and the only real resolution we've found so far is to go easy on areas that are not easily disguised or hidden. He still pays attention to those spots, just not rough enough to leave a bruise or mark that will last longer than a few hours. A nibble mark on the mid-shoulder is easily covered with a top that doesn't have too wide of a neckline and can be just as fun and sensual to get.

Mistakes do happen sometimes though, and so long as the mark is light enough, use concealer makeup and just make sure to flush it in with the rest of your makeup so you don't have an obvious spot. Depending on your natural complexion, the ideal concealer shade will vary but yellow-green concealers do well for many. Apply the concealer, then base makeup, then go over it with a powder base to seal it and give it a more natural look. You may need to touch up through the day, but you may not. Just keep clothing away from it if you go that route, or you'll rub it off and show the world your luv-mark!

In our case, B is more likely to hear about any visible marks than I am. While we don't work together, we work around one another. (Make sense of that!) The people at work know we're together and he'd get the dirty looks before I would.

 

[CutieMouse]

Arnica (lotion/gel or or homeopathic tablets) will help bruises heal faster. Also, avoid OTC anticoagulants (aspirin, etc), as they'll make it easier to bruise.

 

[Earthgoddess]

Bruising

I am Irish, with really pale skin and have always bruised easily, no medical issues there but an excellent point. Thank you. Did lots of arnica, and now just a bit of a waiting game I suppose. Skin and capillaries need time, darn them. And I keep thinking that turtleneck season is right around the corner, and I will be rocking the scarf look this fall. Great excuse to learn to knit and make funky bite covers.

 

[Earthgoddess]

Makeup

Sadly I wear no makeup so that might draw more attention,and I appreciate the tip about the green shade and might have to get a concealer, I read Sephora makes an excellent one. Oh well I have a week before the kids come back to school, so plenty of time to fade these. Just means no new ones, well new visible ones...pout.

 

[Dreamliner]

Will one of these help?

http://www.mastiff-dog-breed-store.com/images/large/leather-dog-muzzle-for-large-breed_LRG.jpg

lol...


seriously, a former partner of mine was in a similar situation..."head south" is good advice.....as the soft breast tissue and backs of forearms are very sensitive spots.

A great place is top of your butt/bottom of back.......a very sensual spot on a womans body.

Have fun exploring

 

[TheSilverLining]

Hey! Sorry to crash your thread, but what about an ice pack? If used immediately following your play, they can help to reduce tissue damage and swelling, therefore helping to lessen any subsequent bruising. Plus, the single use ones use a chemical reaction to produce the cooling effect and so son't require any prior-chilling. Just an idea that might work for you!
Having said that, I also agree with others - enjoy the experiementing and perhaps invest in some to keep incase of er 'emergency'. TSL x

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Would you get the same feeling with less bruising if your neck was covered before he bit you?

Say, a strip of towel or similiar?

 

[DVS]

Would you get the same feeling with less bruising if your neck was covered before he bit you?

Say, a strip of towel or similiar?

Just not as sexy as naked flesh.

 

[DVS]

Arnica (lotion/gel or or homeopathic tablets) will help bruises heal faster. Also, avoid OTC anticoagulants (aspirin, etc), as they'll make it easier to bruise.

I was going to mention Arnica, because a sub of mine used it. I don't know how well it worked, but she always had some handy. And Cutie mentioned the OTC drugs that make you bruise easier...isn't there a food that does the same? I could be wrong, but I thought there was a food or a type of food that made some people bruise easier.

I also agree about the ice pack. when you get a sprain, ice is the first thing you should use to keep swelling down. A part of swelling is bruising...it's all a collection of blood. It's just something else to try. Who knows if it will work or not. If you try it, you should mention your results.

I know how bruising and red marks can be obvious to some people. Because of her job, I had to keep any marks I made below the waist or at least where clothes would cover them. Red marks on the wrists are a sure give away to some people. How would you explain red marks all around each wrist? Explaining rope burn to a suspicious coworker could be difficult. While you get good at inflicting pain without leaving many lasting marks, it does limit your fun, too.

 

[Earthgoddess]

Agreed

Ok new plan is icing immediately and Arnica immediately, as well as some alternate remedies have been suggested as well Sulphuricum acidum and Ledum palustre, which are indicated for deep or excessive bruises. So I will become a little natural pharmacy after play, I also own a number of those chemical ice packs which will now be set out by the bedside for quick use. When we play again next week he can explore other bite zones as well, although I am loathe to relinquish the throat. Thank you all for the helpful advice, I swear I am going to look into a neck tattoo as well.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Just not as sexy as naked flesh.

Well of course not. But we're trying to avoid the sexy naked flesh getting visibly damaged. That's kind of the point here.

 

[eastern sun]

It's hard to balance sexuality and work. But people have to do it all the time.

Personally, I don't think you should wear bruises/bite marks on your neck in school settings under any circumstances. Which means you may have to determine your priorities.

Freedom of sexual expression. Or work protocols.

As a parent and a teacher, I've had to curtail my own activities significantly. And then, sometimes, I've also found work venues that allowed for all manner of out-of-the-norm appearances. It depends on what's important to you which can change in time over the course of a lifetime.

Though I have found it frustrating and disappointing at times to have to change my behavior to fit social norms, I believe it is a mark of maturity and responsibility to consider the effects my actions have on other people. And particularly, the young ones in my care.

 

[Earthgoddess]

balance

I agree Eastern, which is why I sought out the greater wisdom here, my work is incredibly important and even in my future career (if grad school does not kill me first) as a therapist it will be important. Even if I work within the BDSM community there is still protocol. I also have not played this hard in many years, many, many years, so we are in an adjustment period for that as well. And sadly as I, ahem, "age" I notice I hold bruises longer. Not fair, not fair at all, but I have been offered some great advice which I have shared with my "biter'' and we will be using new and different techniques and spots. Except the towel, he prefers bared flesh, and lord knows there are all sorts of spots for him to explore. Curvy as I am there is plenty of new and probably erotically tender bits*shivers/shudders*, and this is part of my growth as a submissive as well.
This relationship is young, new and very wonderful and I delved in with enthusiasm...the dry spell of my marriage was so draining and nullifying, almost a decade of diminishing desire due to his depression meds, a year of war/deployment then the PTSD for the last two years. I have spent a very long time now preparing myself to explore and enjoy, and now I have someone who is as enthusiastic as I am and as willing to explore as I am, which is delicious. We just need to curb and to control some of our play-another good lesson. And I have plenty of options now to utilize.
Many thanks to you all. The bruises are fading slightly, and the swelling and all have diminished, so obviously I am healing. The other piece might have been it was the day before my period,(sorry if that is TMI) and I am wondering of my system was just a little overloaded and less resistant due to that as well. I have listened to Type O Negative's "Wolf Moon" a few times to remind myself I am fortunate that he does not crave a sanguine benediction. Bruises I can handle, that not so much.
Thanks again, I deeply appreciate the resources offered.

 

[graceanne]

Honestly, when I bruise I try to keep the marks under clothed parts. Even then I used ice (on the rare occasion it's necessary) and peanut oil. It doesn't help with K every now and then getting the urge to mark his territory (otherwise known as a hickey), but it has kept my kids from wondering how mommy gets those weird bruises. lol

Good luck!

 

[graceanne]

Though I have found it frustrating and disappointing at times to have to change my behavior to fit social norms, I believe it is a mark of maturity and responsibility to consider the effects my actions have on other people. And particularly, the young ones in my care.

like.

 

[LunachickXXX]

I can offer makeup tips to cover bruises...

Buy a can of this product: (Sally Hansen Airbrush Legs)
http://www.amazon.com/Sally-Hansen-Airbrush-Legs-Light/dp/B001R2IGEC
It's not too expensive and you can get it at most drug stores with a good cosmetics department.

I've used this stuff to cover up scars & bruises, mostly on my legs, but you can experiment with a mark on your neck. I suggest applying a stick of concealer to the area first (check your drug store, they sell ones specifically for covering bruises...they tend to be more yellowish in color than a natural skin tone, b/c the yellow negates the blues and purples of the bruise. Yellow tones works for dark under-eye circles as well.) make sure it's a solid, it tends to last through the day moreso than the liquids which have a thinner cover. Then apply a little power cover up, and then try the airbrush product. It should completely cover any bruises, and even out the skin tone on your whole neck so it doesn't look obviously covered up.

Also...I've heard rumors of rubs and herbal mixes that people in combat training, military, and other MMA activities will apply to bruises and make them disappear overnight. Perhaps if anyone can provide supplementary info on that, including a US supplier that would be helpful.

-Luna

 

[fuckmeat]

If you teach, then you will have school holidays during which to have your neck bitten. That seems the most sensible and obvious compromise.

 

[Earthgoddess]

In gratitude

I appreciate the product links, and sadly as a non-makeup wearing person I think my skills are best used in strategic placement. I am a former theater person, and I specialized in special effect makeup-so I can make really great bruises, zombie stuff and peeling flesh. Ask me to use mascara and concealer and you might as well asked me to knit a miniature working carousel out of egg shells. I think picking new spots to bite and mark is my best solution.
As far as products go, this one has been recommended-but I have not tried it.
http://www.bruisemd.com/

I want the marks, he wants to leave them, if we pick better spots we can both enjoy the play...without the odd questions, or the wrong impressions.
I can cover most of my nibbled parts easily and still dress normally-just the darn neck ones. The shoulder ones are even ok, just the neck is a problem.

 

[Julilla]

Other cover ups

If the turtlenecks aren't working for you, you could look into some choker style necklaces, particularly large-elaborate pieces that might cover most of the skin. A scarf can look very professional and stylish as well, and will give you a lot of coverage if combined with a collared shirt.

 

[Earthgoddess]

necking

I am currently rocking a small, loose knit loopy scarf of cotton and silk, made by a former student. It is funky, fun and fluffy enough to cover. I own a lot of scarves, and cowl neck stuff. But I know as a teacher I still need to make sure these things stay out of sight. I teach in a non traditional school so I am often on the floor or outside climbing trees, or huddled and snuggled with a puppy pile of kids reading a book. So I think the fear of shifting or undone scarves makes the need to bite lower a practicality. This has been wonderful guys, and it has given myself and my "wolf" an enormous opportunity to talk and think and plan. I have no doubt he will be reading these suggestions, and I am looking forward to his ideas with both joy and trepidation.
There was a vague threat of our new staff dress code being no inflammatory tee-shirts and no obvious signs of wolf pack submission. Thank God I work with extremely cool folks, I suppose.

 

[ultramarineblue]

It's hard to balance sexuality and work. But people have to do it all the time.

Personally, I don't think you should wear bruises/bite marks on your neck in school settings under any circumstances. Which means you may have to determine your priorities.

Freedom of sexual expression. Or work protocols.

As a parent and a teacher, I've had to curtail my own activities significantly. And then, sometimes, I've also found work venues that allowed for all manner of out-of-the-norm appearances. It depends on what's important to you which can change in time over the course of a lifetime.

Though I have found it frustrating and disappointing at times to have to change my behavior to fit social norms, I believe it is a mark of maturity and responsibility to consider the effects my actions have on other people. And particularly, the young ones in my care.

like.

Agree. I was just wondering how ES was doing. I haven't seen you post in a while.

 

[Earthgoddess]

And so

I appreciate the advice and look forward to implementing all of it.