The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[Handley_Page]

And you get the abridged copy of War and Peace.

I put in my fried video card... (guess I burned up on these hot stories!)

but it tastes no better on toast.


I put in an English Thunderstorm

 

[Naughty_Misty]

but it tastes no better on toast.


I put in an English Thunderstorm

And you get a blueberry scone!

I put in an empty 2 liter bottle of Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi

 

[Handley_Page]

And you get a blueberry scone!

I put in an empty 2 liter bottle of Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi

and what comes out looks less than wholesome.


I put in a 1930s telephone

 

[Naughty_Misty]

and what comes out looks less than wholesome.


I put in a 1930s telephone

You get a new cordless phone (And the machine sells it to the Antique Road Show for an amazing amount of money!)

I put in all the PM's asking me "How naughty are you?"

 

[Austin8]

You get a new cordless phone (And the machine sells it to the Antique Road Show for an amazing amount of money!)

I put in all the PM's asking me "How naughty are you?"

and the vending crew wants to know too!

I put in a bag of pistachios

 

[kimbalee]

and the vending crew wants to know too!

I put in a bag of pistachios

and you get the left over shells.

I put in some Purple Spoon jelly...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get the left over shells.

I put in some Purple Spoon jelly...

and the works get seized up in double quick time.


I put in a large cauldron with tripod.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and the works get seized up in double quick time.


I put in a large cauldron with tripod.

and it automatically focuses on microbrews.

I put in a still...

 

[Austin8]

and it automatically focuses on microbrews.

I put in a still...

and air flow is non existent

I put in a blustery day

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and air flow is non existent

I put in a blustery day

and, for seventy-five cents you get the cool sensation with a York peppermint patty.

I put in a box of Juicy Fruit.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, for seventy-five cents you get the cool sensation with a York peppermint patty.

I put in a box of Juicy Fruit.

and Austin gets the melons.

I put in a package of Chuckles...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and Austin gets the melons.

I put in a package of Chuckles...

and, this girl is giggling.

I put in a Sugar Daddy lollipop.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, this girl is giggling.

I put in a Sugar Daddy lollipop.

and you get to suck it all day long.

I put in a sweet treat for a BabyGurl...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you get to suck it all day long.

I put in a sweet treat for a BabyGurl...

and, I mistakenly push the buttons for the Sweet Tarts and pucker up.

I put in a Hershey Kiss.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, I mistakenly push the buttons for the Sweet Tarts and pucker up.

I put in a Hershey Kiss.

and the machine finds that a bit too scatalogically kinky for its taste.

I put in a trip up the Erie Canal...

 

[Naughty_Misty]

and the machine finds that a bit too scatalogically kinky for its taste.

I put in a trip up the Erie Canal...

And because the travel agent was shady you end up the creek without a paddle.

I put in my two cents...

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And because the travel agent was shady you end up the creek without a paddle.

I put in my two cents...

and you get four half-penny candies.

I put in an end-of-summer thunderstorm...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you get four half-penny candies.

I put in an end-of-summer thunderstorm...

and, tears come raining down because it's over.

I put in a fall foliage trip down the Hudson River valley.

 

[Handley_Page]

and, tears come raining down because it's over.

I put in a fall foliage trip down the Hudson River valley.

and you trip over the fallen foliage.


I put in a very wet leaf.

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you trip over the fallen foliage.


I put in a very wet leaf.

and, I throw some rice and beef into it, roll it up, and bake it with tomato sauce on top.

I put in a glass of California Pinot Noir.

 

[Handley_Page]

and, I throw some rice and beef into it, roll it up, and bake it with tomato sauce on top.

I put in a glass of California Pinot Noir.

and out pops a bottle of Chateau Mouton Rothschild 1896 Burgundy.


I put in a plastic teaspoon

 

[Austin8]

and out pops a bottle of Chateau Mouton Rothschild 1896 Burgundy.


I put in a plastic teaspoon

and you get a titanium spork

I put in a goose down sleeping bag -20*

 

[Naughty_Misty]

and you get a titanium spork

I put in a goose down sleeping bag -20*

and you get a gaggle of naked geese honking outside your tent!

I put in 3 avacados

 

[Austin8]

and you get a gaggle of naked geese honking outside your tent!

I put in 3 avacados

and holy guacamole

I put in a molcajete

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and holy guacamole

I put in a molcajete

and, I'm wondering if the guacamole receipe comes with it.

I put in a bag of tostitos.