Pearls of Wisdom

[SweetWitch]

We've all been given the benefit of someone else's wisdom, those bits of advice born of experiences and lessons learned. What are your favorites?

I just heard this one from a neighbor's friend who showed up at his house with bags and bags of groceries:

"Never go to the grocery store after smoking the good green."

I may have to use that in a story.

 

[Miss_Pixie]

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the Cheese in the trap

 

[Athalia]

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the Cheese in the trap

And the early worm? It gets eaten.

An aunt told me once, "Try to do something at least once a day that you might regret a little bit."

 

[Handley_Page]

"Take it by the throat and shake it 'till it rattles"

 

[The_Fool]

she leaned back
surprised
my face feeling hot
flushed
an interesting kink
sometimes repeated
pale flesh illuminated
by moonlight
showing nicely
pearls of wisdom
inspired
by words of lust
and a touch of desire

 

[SweetWitch]

"Take it by the throat and shake it 'till it rattles"

I've heard that one from my father.

she leaned back
surprised
my face feeling hot
flushed
an interesting kink
sometimes repeated
pale flesh illuminated
by moonlight
showing nicely
pearls of wisdom
inspired
by words of lust
and a touch of desire

That's so very you and so very hot.

And the early worm? It gets eaten.

An aunt told me once, "Try to do something at least once a day that you might regret a little bit."

I like your aunt's wisdom.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the Cheese in the trap

Snerk.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Bait a mousetrap with peanut butter. Works much better than cheese. For rats, bacon is recommended by some. And if you are troubled by muskrats in your marsh, a common wooden rat trap baited with apple and set upright on a stick just above the level of the water nails 'em.

 

[R. Richard]

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the Cheese in the trap

However, the early worm gets the bird. Then again a guy has to ask himself, "Are you a worm or a mouse?"

 

[Miss_Pixie]

Sorry, had to do it...

"Take it by the throat and shake it 'till it rattles"

snerk...THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!!!!!!!!

 

[The_Fool]

Some things you never get right.
Some things you can't get wrong.

Something floral.
That's what I remember of her
essence.
That and a string of pearls.
I've heard every woman needs pearls,
to go with that special dress,
that might just be a figment
of her imagination.
A string of pearls,
like some rosary
meant to count the memories
in her life.
I watched her peer off
into the distance
and caress each pearl.
Amazing how that simple
subtle strand
accentuated the curve
of her throat.
Not much left for us to say.
Maybe she should have responded
differently to my invitation for dinner.
Regrets.

 

[Miss_Pixie]

Don't Feed the Trolls

 

[SweetWitch]

When nursing a shoe jones, never set foot in a shoe store or you'll spend your kid's back-to-school money.

I love my new shoes.

 

[Miss_Pixie]

Don't let the tequilla monsters out... thoes little fuckers bite

 

[TxRad]

According to my grandfather:

If you can do something about a problem, then there is no need to worry.

If you can't do anything about it then worrying will only make you old.

He was in his 90's at the time.

 

[mynameisben]

Even a broken clock is right twice a day. Furthermore, a clock that has stopped between 1:00 and 2:00 is right three times on the day that Daylight Saving Time ends.

 

[SweetWitch]

According to my grandfather:

If you can do something about a problem, then there is no need to worry.

If you can't do anything about it then worrying will only make you old.

He was in his 90's at the time.

I like your grandpa.

 

[SweetWitch]

Don't let the tequilla monsters out... thoes little fuckers bite

Ooo! Thanks for the warning. I was about to let the little bastards escape.

 

[TxRad]

I like your grandpa.

Ornery old coot but a damned good fellow.

He's also the one who gave me my first piece of sexual advice.

"You may be too old to cut the mustard but you can always lick the bowl."

I'm close to the age he was when he gave me that advice. He was a wise old man.

 

[SweetWitch]

Ornery old coot but a damned good fellow.

He's also the one who gave me my first piece of sexual advice.

"You may be too old to cut the mustard but you can always lick the bowl."

I'm close to the age he was when he gave me that advice. He was a wise old man.

See? I told you I liked him. The only sexual advice my grandfather ever gave (on my dad's side) was, "Why would you want to wreck a perfectly good time by bringing sex into it? If you see a penis, run."

He's also the same one who used to tell us, "If you can't do somethin' right, git t'plumb away from it." He was usually yelling when he said it.

 

[TxRad]

See? I told you I liked him. The only sexual advice my grandfather ever gave (on my dad's side) was, "Why would you want to wreck a perfectly good time by bringing sex into it? If you see a penis, run."

He's also the same one who used to tell us, "If you can't do somethin' right, git t'plumb away from it." He was usually yelling when he said it.

I think I heard that last from my grandfather on my Dad's side. He was redheaded, right off the boat, Irish.

I guess my favorite saying is: "if you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong."

I attribute that to myself. A lesson learned the hard way.

 

[Miss_Pixie]

This ones from my brother:

Treat every situation like a dog would. If you can't eat it, hump it, or chew on it; piss on it and walk away

 

[mynameisben]

Thanx, Pix. My dog got a kick out of that one.

 

[Miss_Pixie]

One from my Grandfather when I was scared to death before my first Debate;

Hold your head high and smile Sugar, make them wonder what secret is making you laugh.

 

[Miss_Pixie]

Thanx, Pix. My dog got a kick out of that one.

I'm glad Ben

 

[SweetWitch]

I think I heard that last from my grandfather on my Dad's side. He was redheaded, right off the boat, Irish.

I guess my favorite saying is: "if you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong."

I attribute that to myself. A lesson learned the hard way.

Me Irish grandda once gave me advice on sex: If a boy tells you you don't love him unless you do it, kick the wee bastard in the balls.