fluctuating pain thresholds?

[callinectes2]

Yesterday I had an exceptionally bad and stressful day and was toast by the time I got home. I would have been thrilled to curl up on the couch and watch a brainless movie but of course the man had other ideas. One thing I noticed right away was that my pain tolerance was really low. I'm not a pain slut on the best of days, but last night things that I normally take fairly well were excruciating. Well, he thought it was super hot so you can imagine how the evening turned out. LOL

I am curious to know if anyone else has experienced this. I've noticed minor differences depending on my cycle but nothing like this before.

 

[kellieanne]

so your saying things that you normally didn't find as painful became painful?

Yesterday I had an exceptionally bad and stressful day and was toast by the time I got home. I would have been thrilled to curl up on the couch and watch a brainless movie but of course the man had other ideas. One thing I noticed right away was that my pain tolerance was really low. I'm not a pain slut on the best of days, but last night things that I normally take fairly well were excruciating. Well, he thought it was super hot so you can imagine how the evening turned out. LOL



I am curious to know if anyone else has experienced this.....

 

[callinectes2]

duh, I didn't read your post correctly. yes, that is it exactly. Things that are normally painful were FAR more painful than they ever have been.

 

[kellieanne]

well could be cause you were stressed that day

duh, I didn't read your post correctly. yes, that is it exactly. Things that are normally painful were FAR more painful than they ever have been.

 

[callinectes2]

I am assuming that is why, I was just wondering if anyone else has had the same experience.

 

[fuckmeat]

My pain thresholds fluctuate a lot and there are lots of factors. My tolerance drops when I'm on my period for example. Punishment activities always hurt way more than play activities and unexpected pain always hurts worse than things I've been able to brace myself for somewhat. Like everything else in the body, it's fluid and organic. I can completely identify with having less tolerance to pain when tired and stressed.

 

[kellieanne]

no not really I have always just braced myself and breathed through the extreme sensation of pain

I am assuming that is why, I was just wondering if anyone else has had the same experience.

 

[chy_girl]

My emotions play heavily into how much and how fast I can take things, as does my level of arousal. And I *am* a pain slut.

I have noticed that when I'm really tired, emotionally or physically, I need a gradual warm up with far more skin to skin contact and hair pulling. I need the extra time to shift to that head space where pain becomes pleasure, the skin contact for reassurance that my People (or Person, depending on the scene) are really truly there and supporting me, and the hair pulling to help me release and breath.

Now, if I'm angry or in a pissy ass mood... fuck the warm up, fuck the gentle, just beat and dominate me. Unfortunately, the angry play can go badly very quick so my People tend to not comply when I'm in that mood.

 

[graceanne]

Mine fluctuates pretty wildly, too. If I'm already in pain, the bad kind, my tolerance for fun pain is a LOT lower. If I'm really tired/cranky/bitchy my pain tolerance is lower. On the other hand there's a two day period in my cycle where I crave pain and I'm hornier than all get out, no matter what else is going on.

 

[Netzach]

suggestions of culprits:

stress, bad emotional stuff, caffeine, aspirins you might usually take that you didn't, period, period, and period.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

I am assuming that is why, I was just wondering if anyone else has had the same experience.

Yes.

I tend to find when I'm really stressed, I also feel scattered and overwhelmed.

It's not a good time for us to try full on play, or pain, because I can't focus on it, I can't send my mind to that happy place, even a small thing that wasn't quite right would set me off into some minor hysterics. It's far too emotionally taxing on my already overworked brain.

I tend to need something light, that focuses solely on him, for a while first, to settle myself down, before trying anything like that.

 

[the captians wench]

I mimic everything said so far with one exception.

When I am really stressed, I mean beyond any normal every day, the kind that builds up for a few days, I crave pain and I want tears, I beg for them. The pain I recieve in these moments feels stronger, but my tollerance is a lot higher. So I cry sooner, but I keep going longer.

But when I'm on my period, since pierced my nipples, I don't have much tolerance for brest play at all. This cycle the slightest pinch had me wanting to cry.

Of course my pain turns him on, tears are better than anything, so he enjoys when my tolerance is low.

 

[fuckmeat]

When I am really stressed, I mean beyond any normal every day, the kind that builds up for a few days, I crave pain and I want tears, I beg for them. The pain I recieve in these moments feels stronger, but my tollerance is a lot higher. So I cry sooner, but I keep going longer.

Oh yes, I agree with this too.

 

[Light Ice]

Here's a related question:

Now, given that I'm a man who will at times play domination games with my partner but in no-way "lives the lifestyle", this may be a pretty elementary question for most of you.

But humor me. Please.

Are there days, even as a "submissive", when you simply say no more? Not today? Do you ever have the desire to step outside your chosen lifestyle and take a breather?

 

[callinectes2]

I figured the cyclical differences were pretty universal. Damn hormones! LOL

Chy_girl and Lizzie.. y'all hit on the head with the slow warm up and having the chance to focus on him first. I was so raw and spent that I really could have used that time to shift my mindset. Too bad it isn't all about me!

Gracie...thanks. I can imagine how the bad pain makes the good pain even harder to take.

Netz..I had serious stress, you're so right about that.

fuckmeat - thanks. He doesn't do physical punishments any more, that ended pretty early in our relationship. That is one serious bad kind of hurt though!

Wenchie - I've has the same feeling of being out of sorts and the pain centering me. This experience yesterday was really intense stress followed by intense pain. Tears..oh he thoroughly enjoyed them.

The sadistic bastard..we were lying in bed afterwards and he said with all sincerity "Now, don't you feel relaxed and clear of mind? I was torn between kissing him and slapping him. LOL

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Chy_girl and Lizzie.. y'all hit on the head with the slow warm up and having the chance to focus on him first. I was so raw and spent that I really could have used that time to shift my mindset. Too bad it isn't all about me!

Well no, it's not. *grins*

But, Mr's learned that I occasionally need that time (and help) to shift my mindset, or he doesn't get the result *he* wants. So sometimes, he lets me be a bit all about me, so that I can be all about him.

Mind you, those times are good for him too. *laughs* And I do giggle when he says 'ok I'll let you do x cos I know you like that' when it's something he wants anyway!

 

[callinectes2]

Well no, it's not. *grins*

But, Mr's learned that I occasionally need that time (and help) to shift my mindset, or he doesn't get the result *he* wants. So sometimes, he lets me be a bit all about me, so that I can be all about him.

Mind you, those times are good for him too. *laughs* And I do giggle when he says 'ok I'll let you do x cos I know you like that' when it's something he wants anyway!

ha ha, he does that too. I have been known to comment, with a tinge of sarcasm in my voice, on how magnanimous he is.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

ha ha, he does that too. I have been known to comment, with a tinge of sarcasm in my voice, on how magnanimous he is.

*giggles* Yup, I've done that too at times.

 

[callinectes2]

Here's a related question:

Now, given that I'm a man who will at times play domination games with my partner but in no-way "lives the lifestyle", this may be a pretty elementary question for most of you.

But humor me. Please.

Are there days, even as a "submissive", when you simply say no more? Not today? Do you ever have the desire to step outside your chosen lifestyle and take a breather?

We don't "live the lifestyle". We are just a couple in which he likes to be in control and I prefer to defer. He is 100% in control in the relationship but there is no micromanagement. Sure, there are times when I want to say the hell with it, I don't want to obey. Last night was a prime example. However I have a need to please and I find the times I struggle to submit and work through it turn out to be the most rewarding experiences for both of us. Besides, he wouldn't put up with taking a breather, it's his way or the highway. What keeps me there is I love "his way". Well, and I kinda love him too of course.

 

[Light Ice]

Do you mind a couple follow up questions, then? I'm really curious.

1st. You do not live the lifestyle but it is his way or the highway? Could you maybe explain the dynamic a little more clearly? I confess that I'm -very- curious as to how you two navigate things because, in general, I wonder if it relates, at all, to how my partner and I sometimes operate.

2nd. If he does not allow you "a day off" is it impossible for you to take one? I'm going to go ahead and assume that your partner is more than just a sexually assertive individual for you. I would guess that he knows your needs and sees to them. You seem very happy! But, I am curious, what if his judgement is off one night?

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

We don't "live the lifestyle". We are just a couple in which he likes to be in control and I prefer to defer. He is 100% in control in the relationship but there is no micromanagement. Sure, there are times when I want to say the hell with it, I don't want to obey. Last night was a prime example. However I have a need to please and I find the times I struggle to submit and work through it turn out to be the most rewarding experiences for both of us. Besides, he wouldn't put up with taking a breather, it's his way or the highway. What keeps me there is I love "his way". Well, and I kinda love him too of course.

This pretty much describes us too.

Do you mind a couple follow up questions, then? I'm really curious.

1st. You do not live the lifestyle but it is his way or the highway? Could you maybe explain the dynamic a little more clearly? I confess that I'm -very- curious as to how you two navigate things because, in general, I wonder if it relates, at all, to how my partner and I sometimes operate.

2nd. If he does not allow you "a day off" is it impossible for you to take one? I'm going to go ahead and assume that your partner is more than just a sexually assertive individual for you. I would guess that he knows your needs and sees to them. You seem very happy! But, I am curious, what if his judgement is off one night?

So I'm hoping callinectes can answer these questions in a way that I'll also relate to... because I can't explain it.

 

[the captians wench]

Maybe it's because I am servise oriented, or that I'm a huge pain slut, but I've never needed a warm up. I don't need to adjust my mind frame. My mind is always on pleasing my PYL, and being a pain slut with a high pain threshold, and usually partnered with sadists, so my pain is what pleases him. From the first wack I am in a place where my world doesn't matter anymore. My pain doesn't matter, my pleasure doesn't matter. All that matters is that he is enjoying using me how he wishes. If that means bringing me to tears, grand, if it means him fucking me until I'm sore, so be it, and if it means me going from pale white to blood red in 10 seconds, that's fine too. As long as he's enjoying, I'm always in the same headspace.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Maybe it's because I am servise oriented, or that I'm a huge pain slut, but I've never needed a warm up. I don't need to adjust my mind frame. My mind is always on pleasing my PYL, and being a pain slut with a high pain threshold, and usually partnered with sadists, so my pain is what pleases him. From the first wack I am in a place where my world doesn't matter anymore. My pain doesn't matter, my pleasure doesn't matter. All that matters is that he is enjoying using me how he wishes. If that means bringing me to tears, grand, if it means him fucking me until I'm sore, so be it, and if it means me going from pale white to blood red in 10 seconds, that's fine too. As long as he's enjoying, I'm always in the same headspace.

That's what I always *want* but sometimes other things get in the way. My brain in a busy and complicated place that even I can't control, a lot of the time.

 

[the captians wench]

That's what I always *want* but sometimes other things get in the way. My brain in a busy and complicated place that even I can't control, a lot of the time.

It's really funny cause since I met Jounar we havn't had to work on my mind being on him hardly at all. We've worked harder at making me focas on ME when I should and need to. I don't stand up for myself as much as I should, and (as is obvious by how long it's taken me to make this dr apt) I just don't take care of myself like I should. This is what we have been working on. Me speaking up and having my needs expressed and met, while at the same time understanding that my wants are secondary to his disires.

 

[chy_girl]

*snip*
When I am really stressed, I mean beyond any normal every day, the kind that builds up for a few days, I crave pain and I want tears, I beg for them. The pain I recieve in these moments feels stronger, but my tollerance is a lot higher. So I cry sooner, but I keep going longer.
*snip

QFT!
Me too. A lot. But my People and I have learned the hard way that just because it's a day that I need it the most, it doesn't mean it's a day with a quick warm-up Mistress style (which is little to none). My brain is very good at taking me to bad places when it's least convenient and since I tend to do that whole non-verbal thing it's safer to and less messy to do a slower start on a bad brain day than it is to charge in and hope said brain doesn't implode and cause a week long argument. I'm getting much better about avoiding the bad brain days, though (knock on wood).

Here's a related question:

Now, given that I'm a man who will at times play domination games with my partner but in no-way "lives the lifestyle", this may be a pretty elementary question for most of you.

But humor me. Please.

Are there days, even as a "submissive", when you simply say no more? Not today? Do you ever have the desire to step outside your chosen lifestyle and take a breather?

This made me smile...
Of course there are days where I don't want to mind. And if I can explain it sufficiently enough in my grown-up voice my Mistress (or my Sir, if it was his request to begin with) will sometimes release me from the task or provide an extension for completing it.

Then there are other times when I don't use my grown-up voice. I get rather bitchy, remind them that just because I'm their submissive doesn't mean I'm not a (insert expletive) adult, capable of making my own decisions. I will stomp my proverbial feet, scream, cry, yell, bitch, demand, and refuse to follow their direction... the entire time I'm following their direction.

They learned rather quickly that, with me, my desire to serve them will overpower damned near anything. The bad part about that is I will allow myself to be in an unhealthy place during play - to become a 'whipping post' as we call it. When I become nothing more than a whipping post in my head, it hurts all three of us. They derive no pleasure from that and I certainly don't. The flip side of that is that I will also go to nearly any length to complete their request, even as I'm huffing and puffing and acting like a child.

Thankfully, they both have a wonderful sense of humor, a great deal of patience, and are incredibly amused by my tantrums. They also appreciate a good excuse to mess with me later.

Chy_girl and Lizzie.. y'all hit on the head with the slow warm up and having the chance to focus on him first. I was so raw and spent that I really could have used that time to shift my mindset. Too bad it isn't all about me!

No, it isn't all about us. But it isn't a good idea to break the toys, either... and I'm not referring to the paddles and such. Pushing has it's place, don't get me wrong, but there is such a thing as "too much" even for the best pyl on the planet.

Maybe it's because I am servise oriented, or that I'm a huge pain slut, but I've never needed a warm up. I don't need to adjust my mind frame. My mind is always on pleasing my PYL, and being a pain slut with a high pain threshold, and usually partnered with sadists, so my pain is what pleases him. From the first wack I am in a place where my world doesn't matter anymore. My pain doesn't matter, my pleasure doesn't matter. All that matters is that he is enjoying using me how he wishes. If that means bringing me to tears, grand, if it means him fucking me until I'm sore, so be it, and if it means me going from pale white to blood red in 10 seconds, that's fine too. As long as he's enjoying, I'm always in the same headspace.

My warm ups tend to be more of a very short formality, especially when Mistress is involved. Which is a good thing, because usually after 3 or 4 moderate hits I'm ready to call Beige. Every once in awhile, though, we have to slow it down - which also means there's more skin on skin contact... because it's an emotional warm up, for lack of a better term, that's needed instead of physical... And that would be why the pain tolerance has changed since the triad has grow and become closer...

Huh. Now that correlation never occurred to me or to my People, I'm sure. Well, fuck. Now there's an epiphany I wasn't expecting. *wanders off to think and write an email*

Thank you, btw. This one has been stumping us for a couple of months now.