Repetition question

[Sengoku]

As you all know, there are some words like 'and' 'as' 'but' that get used a lot in many types of writing. I did a word check and found I use the word 'and' quite a lot in my stories, but only really noticed this when I do a search for the word. When reading, do you pinpoint when someone is over using 'and' 'but', those type of words, or do many of you never notice?

From what I'm taught, repetition occurs when you use a word like, say, machine too much.

For example; "This machine never works, what kind of machine is this? Machine's are not made the way they used to be made. I tell you what we need: a machine."

So are words like 'and' 'but' 'as' exempt?

Thanks in advance.

 

[nerk]

and as but (and a bunch of other words) are conjunctions, most commonly used to describe the relationship between the thoughts that they fall between.

From this post, I see that you also start a lot of sentences with them.

If you're turning up an inordinate number of conjunctions in your writing, you're more likely to be having a problem of repetitive structure than word repetition.

Varying sentence structure helps weed out conjunctions. A lot of people think it makes your writing easier to understand. It can be a pretty illuminating and amusing exercise to make yourself write (or even more painful, rewrite) without conjunctions at all.

 

[bronzeage]

More liberty is allowed in quotes than in regular narrative. We want dialog to sound as if a real person were speaking. This person may have an irritating speech pattern and that is part of the character.

In regular narrative, over use of the same word becomes annoying. It becomes a matter of style, which is always subjective.

"My name is George Washington," said George Washington.

"I am pleased to meet you. My name is Benjamin Franklin," replied Benjamin Franklin.

This short piece is grammatically correct, but could easily show up on a web site where examples of poor writing are posted.

 

[sr71plt]

When I'm editing, I only mention a problem with word repetition if, as a reader, I'm finding it intrusive to the flow of the read (which, I think, is the only reason to worry about it). I don't run word checks to add uses up. Often the noticeable overrepetition of "and" and the other conjunctions is a signal that the sentences are overlong and should be broken up.

 

[Sengoku]

Thank you all so much for the help.

 

[mynameisben]

Let me cut straight to the point. Little words like and, as, and but are not exempt from overuse. Granted, these little devils are indispensable workhorses of the English language. Frequent use of them is often justified. Yet even the littlest of words, dealt unremittingly, can torture your readers.

As was previously posted, overused conjunctions is a telltale sign of monotonous or run-on writing style. For example:

"Dawn and I went to the grocery store, and Bill and Sherry were there, and they were cruising the produce aisle. Then I discussed the Knicks trade with Bill, as Bill was an avid basketball fan. Then Dawn wandered off with Sherry to browse the beer shelves, and Bill and I were completely fine with that. Bill and I were lost in our conversation, and we had no idea how long Sherry and Dawn had been gone. Then Sherry and Dawn met back up with us, and Bill and I were still arguing free throw percentages, as Sherry and Dawn leaned impatiently against their overloaded shopping carts. Then Sherry and Dawn and Bill and I made our way to the checkout line, and then we joked about last night's party as we said our good-byes."

Small words are easy to overuse because they are so easily overlooked. Running a word-count software utility can be a valuable aid, especially to new writers. Targeting small words like and, then and as , with no other changes, can transform the above passage into something far more palatable to the reader:

"Dawn and I went to the grocery store. Bill and Sherry were there, cruising the produce aisle. I discussed the Knicks trade with Bill, an avid basketball fan. Dawn wandered off with Sherry to browse the beer shelves. Bill and I were completely fine with that. We were so lost in our conversation we had no idea how long the girls had been gone. When they met back up with us we were still arguing free throw percentages. Our wives leaned impatiently against their overloaded shopping carts. The four of us finally made our way to the checkout line. After joking about last night's party, we finally said our good-byes."

Yes it still sucks, but not nearly as hard. I should have included a sex scene. Oh, well.

 

[nerk]

nicely done. Exactly what I was saying, only cogent.

as for including a sex scene, don't tell me "free throw percentages" isn't a euphemism.

Let me cut straight to the point. Little words like and, as, and but are not exempt from overuse. Granted, these little devils are indispensable workhorses of the English language. Frequent use of them is often justified. Yet even the littlest of words, dealt unremittingly, can torture your readers.

As was previously posted, overused conjunctions is a telltale sign of monotonous or run-on writing style. For example:

"Dawn and I went to the grocery store, and Bill and Sherry were there, and they were cruising the produce aisle. Then I discussed the Knicks trade with Bill, as Bill was an avid basketball fan. Then Dawn wandered off with Sherry to browse the beer shelves, and Bill and I were completely fine with that. Bill and I were lost in our conversation, and we had no idea how long Sherry and Dawn had been gone. Then Sherry and Dawn met back up with us, and Bill and I were still arguing free throw percentages, as Sherry and Dawn leaned impatiently against their overloaded shopping carts. Then Sherry and Dawn and Bill and I made our way to the checkout line, and then we joked about last night's party as we said our good-byes."

Small words are easy to overuse because they are so easily overlooked. Running a word-count software utility can be a valuable aid, especially to new writers. Targeting small words like and, then and as , with no other changes, can transform the above passage into something far more palatable to the reader:

"Dawn and I went to the grocery store. Bill and Sherry were there, cruising the produce aisle. I discussed the Knicks trade with Bill, an avid basketball fan. Dawn wandered off with Sherry to browse the beer shelves. Bill and I were completely fine with that. We were so lost in our conversation we had no idea how long the girls had been gone. When they met back up with us we were still arguing free throw percentages. Our wives leaned impatiently against their overloaded shopping carts. The four of us finally made our way to the checkout line. After joking about last night's party, we finally said our good-byes."

Yes it still sucks, but not nearly as hard. I should have included a sex scene. Oh, well.

 

[Sengoku]

Thanks you all so much. I went back and removed all unnecessary 'ands' and found the story is much better for it. Thanks again.

 

[mynameisben]

Thanks you all so much. I went back and removed all unnecessary 'ands' and found the story is much better for it. Thanks again.

That is so good to hear, Sengoku. You are well on your way. But don't stop with just the and's. I once edited one of my own stories, removing all the unnecessary and's. When I was finished, I realized the words that remained were unnecessary and deleted them as well!

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

GENTLE BEN

Dump all the auxillary verbs.