The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[Austin8]

and the machine starts shooting out little slips of paper that says, "Bacon! I smell bacon!" and wags its tail. who knew the machine had a tail?

I put in some home made pickles...

and there so damn pretty... Im just gonna look at them!

I put in a holey rock with a note in it

 

[kimbalee]

and there so damn pretty... Im just gonna look at them!

I put in a holey rock with a note in it

and the holy rock gets sent to a church.

I put in a cherry pie, with a slight amount of penicillin growing in it...

 

[Austin8]

and the holy rock gets sent to a church.

I put in a cherry pie, with a slight amount of penicillin growing in it...

and I Fed ex you a cryopac! sheesh!

I put in a "Houston we have a problem!"

 

[kimbalee]

and I Fed ex you a cryopac! sheesh!

I put in a "Houston we have a problem!"

and you get a few spare parts for a space shuttle.

I put in some Hanky Panky...

 

[Austin8]

and you get a few spare parts for a space shuttle.

I put in some Hanky Panky...

and that, reminds me of a song!

"My Baby does the Hanky Panky"

I put in another 45 rpm adapter

 

[kimbalee]

and that, reminds me of a song!

"My Baby does the Hanky Panky"

I put in another 45 rpm adapter

and I push the switch on the record player to 78, so it sounds like the chipmunks singing it.

I put in a request to "Play it again, Sam."

 

[Austin8]

and I move the arm on the record player, "screeeeech"
"Ooops sorry bout that!"

I put in a catty whompus box

 

[kimbalee]

and I move the arm on the record player, "screeeeech"
"Ooops sorry bout that!"

I put in a catty whompus box

and I remove it to the Romper Room.

I put in a pair of purple Converse hi-tops...

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and I remove it to the Romper Room.

I put in a pair of purple Converse hi-tops...

and, mirabile dictu, you find you can slam dunk with ease.

I put in Sweet Georgia Brown...

 

[Handley_Page]

and, mirabile dictu, you find you can slam dunk with ease.

I put in Sweet Georgia Brown...

and she sure is.

I put in a mug of decent coffee.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and she sure is.

I put in a mug of decent coffee.

and Starbucks goes out of business.

I put in the Java Jive...

 

[Austin8]

and Starbucks goes out of business.

I put in the Java Jive...

and you get a nervous twitch

I put in a Jamba Juice

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you get a nervous twitch

I put in a Jamba Juice

and you get a pineapple with a little umbrella.

I put in a passionfruit smoothie...

 

[Austin8]

and you get a pineapple with a little umbrella.

I put in a passionfruit smoothie...

and you get a curious look from the smoothie girl

I put in cattle drive through the Eyre Lake salt pan

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you get a curious look from the smoothie girl

I put in cattle drive through the Eyre Lake salt pan

and you get one hell of a corned beef dinner.

I put in a mid-day hike through Bad Water Basin in July...

 

[Austin8]

and you get one hell of a corned beef dinner.

I put in a mid-day hike through Bad Water Basin in July...

Yikes!

I put in a trip to Death Valley to see the moving rocks

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Yikes!

I put in a trip to Death Valley to see the moving rocks

and they only move when you're not looking.

I put in a naked group-grope at Zabriskie point at dawn...

 

[Austin8]

and they only move when you're not looking.

I put in a naked group-grope at Zabriskie point at dawn...

and I hope no ones jumpy...

and you get a road trip to our next stop by the ocean

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and I hope no ones jumpy...

and you get a road trip to our next stop by the ocean

and I find myself back in Rodanthe a week earlier tham I expected.

I put in a bit of canoeing up the Alligator River...

 

[Austin8]

and I find myself back in Rodanthe a week earlier tham I expected.

I put in a bit of canoeing up the Alligator River...

and you get to relax at Frying Pan Landing

I put in one night stand at Gum Neck

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you get to relax at Frying Pan Landing

I put in one night stand at Gum Neck

and the gum interferes with the necking for your one night stand.

I put in a Nude Day camping trip...

 

[kimbalee]

and the gum interferes with the necking for your one night stand.

I put in a Nude Day camping trip...

and hope you packed extra sunscreen and mosquito repellent.

I put in a sincere hope that you stay clear of the poison ivy...

 

[Austin8]

and hope you packed extra sunscreen and mosquito repellent.

I put in a sincere hope that you stay clear of the poison ivy...

*scratching now*

I put in a nice camp fire and warm blankie

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and hope you packed extra sunscreen and mosquito repellent.

I put in a sincere hope that you stay clear of the poison ivy...

and we're pleased to point out the clover patch on which we set up camp.

I put in a few rolls in the clover...

 

[kimbalee]

*scratching now*

I put in a nice camp fire and warm blankie

and we're pleased to point out the clover patch on which we set up camp.

I put in a few rolls in the clover...

and you are warm and cozy under the stars.

I put in some marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers...