What does Love-based bdsm look like?

[Etoile]

Nope. It was a BDSM issue posted to the BDSM board. (The OP posed it as BDSM; if you think you are the arbiter of what is and isn't BDSM, then, again, there's no need for a BDSM forum at all--everyone can just PM you for "the answer.") You were overstepping your bounds as a moderator with personal dictatorial whimsy. You yourself violated the "anything goes" rule at the bottom of the forum rules.

Apparently you don't see the irony of bouncing discussions of Lit. stories from the Lit. site forum.

If you have problems with my moderation style, please feel free to PM Laurel about it.

At no time did I suggest the post wasn't BDSM, I said it contained a story. Stories do not belong in a discussion forum. Period.

 

[Epmd607]

Nope. It was a BDSM issue posted to the BDSM board. You were overstepping your bounds as a moderator with personal dictatorial whimsy. You yourself violated the "anything goes" rule at the bottom of the forum rules.

Apparently you don't see the irony of bouncing discussions of Lit. stories from the Lit. site forum.

Nope. It was a chapter story posted in the BDSM Talk portion of the message board. Whether you accept it or not, not every forum is centered on writing and story discussion. There are two forums already labeled with "Post your feedback about Literotica stories you love or hate!" and "Guided author criticism of specific stories." I know you haven't actually read any of the thread. But the thread starter's intention was to draw a discussion based in a Lit story, which is most appropriately fitted with story feedback or discussion circle, whether or not the full text of the story is posted within the thread or not. All that aside, the thread starter never ventures into any BDSM issues, same as his story has next to nothing to do with BDSM. He isn't interested in discussing BDSM issues, so why wouldn't the BDSM Talk mod move the thread? Big mouth, stay in your lane.

 

[Epmd607]

I wrote "Endings" for many reasons, one of which was to illustrate the nature of love-based bdsm.

Love-based bdsm is, in many ways, no different than any life-long loving relationships. We experience the same losses and must wrestle with the consequences when a beloved dies.

Too often people get the impression from reading on-line bdsm boards that those who practice bdsm really don't care about their partners, that bdsm is nothing more than a no-strings attached one-night stand with no emotional involvement worthy of mention.

However, for a lot of us who practice bdsm, I dare say most of us, bdsm is a means by which we express our love for each other in loving, life-long committed relationships.

In my experience it is rare that death itself is ever discussed, and when it is, it is more along the lines of "what am I going to do next".

With "Endings" I wanted to address the loss itself, the emotional impact it has on the survivor.

I wanted to bring home to the reader that those of us who practice bdsm within a loving, committed relationship feel the loss just as keenly as anyone else.

We are no less human than anyone else.

Love, Part I: Endings

-------------------------------------

"Introductions" was written to illustrate the qualities that are necessary for a love-based bdsm relationship to thrive: mutual respect for our individuality and humanity, the need for honourable behaviour, compassion, patience ... selflessness.

As these qualities are essential for any loving relationship, they are no less important in a love-based bdsm relationship.

Love, Part II: Introductions

-------------------------------------

"Winter Interlude" was written for those who felt that a love-based bdsm relationship was somehow a form of 'bdsm-lite', that those who love each other are incapable of engaging in bdsm.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Because of the degree of love, trust and committment those who love are capable of engaging in any bdsm activity. Indeed, those of us who love may be more capable of engaging in any bdsm activity than those who must trust the goodwill of virtual strangers and casual 'play partners'.

And as the story illustrates, such activities have much more meaning and produce a closer union between the lovers than anything casual could accomplish.

Love, Part III: Winter Interlude

There's a reason why there's a forum for Story Discussion. This post and the TS's intention fits precisely into SDC.

 

[sr71plt]

If you have problems with my moderation style, please feel free to PM Laurel about it.

At no time did I suggest the post wasn't BDSM, I said it contained a story. Stories do not belong in a discussion forum. Period.

Oh, it's OK with me really that you don't understand that this is a story site. I'm not surprised that you are so narrow-minded and mad for what little authority has been given you. I suggest he just keep posting his BDSM discussions on his Lit. stories to BDSM if he wants and calls your bluff on whether Laurel is going to ban him for that. (So you dress up like a Roman legionairre when you do your little SM thing? )

(Off to check to see if you actually write stories for this site or are just a "talker" here. )

Back again. Oh, yes, I see. Whoopeedo. One story, nine years ago. A talker rather than a doer.

 

[Epmd607]

Oh, it's OK with me really that you don't understand that this is a story site. I'm not surprised that you are so narrow-minded and mad for what little authority has been given you. I suggest he just keep posting his BDSM discussions on his Lit. stories to BDSM if he wants and calls your bluff on whether Laurel is going to ban him for that. (So you dress up like a Roman legionairre when you do your little SM thing? )

(Off to check to see if you actually write stories for this site or are just a "talker" here. )

The story site is found at literotica.com. The Literotica Discussion Board isn't a "Story Discussion Board". You've been here long enough, you should know this. There are forums specifically for pictures, personals, nonsense, story feedback. Pure is a moderator for the Discussion circle, he has no stories posted. It's irrelevant whether Etoile has stories posted or not, she moderates a chit-chat portion of a message board that was never meant for the discussion and analysis of Lit stories.

 

[sr71plt]

The story site is found at literotica.com. The Literotica Discussion Board isn't a "Story Discussion Board". You've been here long enough, you should know this. There are forums specifically for pictures, personals, nonsense, story feedback.

What? Lit. isn't a story site? Hahahahahahahaha.

Even if that ridiculous notion were so, the forum DOES have rules. It would seem that the moderators would actually follow them.

 

[Epmd607]

What? Lit. isn't a story site? Hahahahahahahaha.

Even if that ridiculous notion were so, the forum DOES have rules. It would seem that the moderators would actually follow them.

Forum.literotica.com is a different domain. Post a story in the Amateur Pic Forum.

 

[sr71plt]

that was never meant for the discussion and analysis of Lit stories.

Show me the forum rule that says a poster can't initiate a thread on the BDSM board discussing a story and have that thread stay there. If you, as another poster, don't like the discussion, you can just not post to it. Same goes for the moderator.

 

[Epmd607]

The story site is found at literotica.com. The Literotica Discussion Board isn't a "Story Discussion Board". You've been here long enough, you should know this. There are forums specifically for pictures, personals, nonsense, story feedback. Pure is a moderator for the Discussion circle, he has no stories posted. It's irrelevant whether Etoile has stories posted or not, she moderates a chit-chat portion of a message board that was never meant for the discussion and analysis of Lit stories.

It's not Etoiles fault no one goes to the Story Discussion Circle or Story Feedback. They were likely created for the discussion of specific Lit stories, whether for feedback, criticism, or general discussion of a theme. Show me where you have the rules of the road for each moderator of each forum and sub-forum.

 

[sr71plt]

The story site is found at literotica.com.

So's this forum. That's how I navigate to here. So, what's your point?

 

[sr71plt]

It's not Etoiles fault no one goes to the Story Discussion Circle or Story Feedback. They were likely created for the discussion of specific Lit stories, whether for feedback, criticism, or general discussion of a theme. Show me where you have the rules of the road for each moderator of each forum and sub-forum.

Show me the forum rule that says someone can't discuss their Lit. story in the BDSM forum and not have it moved.

And show me the forum rule that permits individual moderators to have individual tin-horn dictator rules for their forums.

 

[Epmd607]

So's this forum. That's how I navigate to here. So, what's your point?

11. Please post content in the appropriate forum. We do not believe in censorship, but your posts will be moved or removed if you do not read the forum title before hitting "SUBMIT". Personal ads should be posted in the "Personals" forum, story ideas in the "Story Ideas" forum, BDSM issues in the BDSM forum, random nonsense on the General Board, and so on.

What don't you understand about this? Moderators exist, different forums exist. It's at the discretion of the moderator to interpret what belongs on their board and what doesn't, not SR71Plt the poster.

Really, why isn't this a sex toy site? I thought this was a video-on-demand site?

 

[sr71plt]

11. Please post content in the appropriate forum. We do not believe in censorship, but your posts will be moved or removed if you do not read the forum title before hitting "SUBMIT". Personal ads should be posted in the "Personals" forum, story ideas in the "Story Ideas" forum, BDSM issues in the BDSM forum, random nonsense on the General Board, and so on.

What don't you understand about this? Moderators exist, different forums exist. It's at the discretion of the moderator to interpret what belongs on their board and what doesn't, not SR71Plt the poster.

Really, why isn't this a sex toy site? I thought this was a video-on-demand site?

What don't you understand about the OP posting what he did as a BDSM issue?

Point out where a Lit. story can't be the basis of a discussion in any of these forums.

Look at the bottom paragraph of the forum rules concerning the "anything goes" discussion. THOSE are the web site owners' framing of what is appropriate.

little tin-horn dictators.

 

[Etoile]

Any individual who is unhappy with the behavior of a mod can always raise the issue with the administrators.

They can also fling insults and whine, but nothing - nothing at all - will come of it.

 

[sr71plt]

Any individual who is unhappy with the behavior of a mod can always raise the issue with the administrators.

They can also fling insults and whine, but nothing - nothing at all - will come of it.

You've said that before. I prefer holding up your tin-horn dictator pettiness publicly. We can consider it a study in SM.

(Yet to have you point to a creditable forum rule to uphold your precipitous action. And of course your statement that stories have no place in discussion forums on a story site is utterly ridiculous--but understandable from someone playing god on a story site but not contributing any stories to the story site's product line.)

 

[Epmd607]

You've said that before. I prefer holding up your tin-horn dictator pettiness publicly. We can consider it a study in SM.

(Yet to have you point to a creditable forum rule to uphold your precipitous action. And of course your statement that stories have no place in discussion forums on a story site is utterly ridiculous--but understandable from someone playing god on a story site but not contributing any stories to the story site's product line.)

You're as deluded as BLoved. This is not a story site, this is a message board forum that happens to be linked to a story site. Most of the forums were formed to deal with non-story topics. The poetry forum exists, poetry can be found on the index page, if stories get posted in the poetry forums they get moved within a couple hours. You embarrass yourself, you haven't even read this thread, you've no idea what it's about. What a hero, just like BLoved, fighting for the cause of Truth and Justice.

And your use of 'creditable' doesn't fit the context, tenpenny literati.

 

[BLoved]

You're as deluded as BLoved. This is not a story site, this is a message board forum that happens to be linked to a story site. Most of the forums were formed to deal with non-story topics. The poetry forum exists, poetry can be found on the index page, if stories get posted in the poetry forums they get moved within a couple hours. You embarrass yourself, you haven't even read this thread, you've no idea what it's about. What a hero, just like BLoved, fighting for the cause of Truth and Justice.

And your use of 'creditable' doesn't fit the context, tenpenny literati.

What you fail to notice is that Etoile is allowing this thread to go back as is, with links replacing the text of the story.

Apparently we can discuss BDSM stories in the BDSM forum.

Etoile is simply inventing a rule that says we can't post the text, that we must post links.

I've yet to see a rule on this, and I notice that when Etoile merged several of the discussions I started, she merged the text of the story in with the other discussions.

She did not move that discussion here, as she subsequently did when I tried to unravel the mess she'd made when she merged them.

See Isolation

 

[BLoved]

Number 11.

Now that the thread doesn't contain a story, I have told him that he is more than welcome to ask The Conformist to move it back.

I have complied with Etoile's requirements and have reported the above to TheConformist so that this thread can be moved back where it belongs.

I have also asked TheConformist to review sr71plt's comments to determine whether they have merit. I believe they do and assume TheConformist will bump this up to the administrators if he/she agrees.

Again, to the posters/readers of Story Feedback, my apologies for the problem and my gratitude for your support and patience.

 

[BLoved]

Just a nod of thanks for the support from sr71plt.

And one for the encouragement from CharleyH.

Much appreciated

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Apparently we can discuss BDSM stories in the BDSM forum.

Which appears to be your intent all along.

 

[BLoved]

Which appears to be your intent all along.

Because the OP apprently thinks the topic of his discussion--playing off his story--is BDSM, and he chose to discuss his concepts of BDSM in the BDSM forum. (What a dumb idea, right?)

Again, god forbid we discuss on the basis of our stories on a story forum.

Show me the forum rule that says a poster can't initiate a thread on the BDSM board discussing a story and have that thread stay there. If you, as another poster, don't like the discussion, you can just not post to it. Same goes for the moderator.

In the Talk forum, our focus is on discussion of BDSM and it's associated sexuality and/or lifestyle choices in real life relationships

-- Welcome To The BDSM Talk Forum

This is not a discussion on the literary merits of the stories.

This is a discussion on what qualities are required to sustain and nurture a love-based bdsm relationship.

The stories illustrate those qualities.

My intent was to discuss "what qualities are required to sustain and nurture a love-based bdsm relationship".

Apparently the only reason this discussion was moved was because I provided the text of the stories, instead of links.

If someone would like to quote the rule where it says we must not post text, but can post links, I'd like to see it.

 

[sr71plt]

You're as deluded as BLoved. This is not a story site, this is a message board forum that happens to be linked to a story site. Most of the forums were formed to deal with non-story topics. The poetry forum exists, poetry can be found on the index page, if stories get posted in the poetry forums they get moved within a couple hours. You embarrass yourself, you haven't even read this thread, you've no idea what it's about. What a hero, just like BLoved, fighting for the cause of Truth and Justice.

And your use of 'creditable' doesn't fit the context, tenpenny literati.

Apparently the site owners don't agree with you, because, by golly, here is this BDSM discussion, right back on the BDSM board.

 

[Netzach]

I haven't read more than a chapter of your story, and I'm not going to. It's not that it's not a good story, but rather because I think that you have raised a more interesting topic and, as you state, your story is simply an illustration. Personally, I like the concept of the story (it's not unlike the one I wrote and continue to write) about a dominant character trying to save his/her sub or self, and facing a situation that he/she wants to control, but cannot. Love it. Simply love it. Not being able to control illness or death is a universal anxiety, but when combined with a BDSM relationship? Oh, the ideas!

Oh, the ideas! How literary! How deliciously symbolic.

For some of us this isn't theoretical. At the fuck all.

Which is why I don't care to make this a story discussion board, personally. There's a bunch of boards for FB and critique. Not everyone is involved with the fiction side of the site nor should have to be. I do not want to have to explain that not everyone can be expected to be branded like a cow and caged upon meeting the kink community and the lack of old chateaux.

I do not want to have a part of my life spit in my face as someone's cute plot device. If the authors get panties wadded every time people whose reality absorbs alternate sexuality say "this doesn't remotely resemble my reality or that of anyone I know" then what is the point of even claiming to dedicate part of the boards to that sexuality?

 

[Stella_Omega]

Apparently the site owners don't agree with you, because, by golly, here is this BDSM discussion, right back on the BDSM board.

The Free Speech Nazi has spoken.

I'm sorry, folks.

Free speech, by Laurel's definition, includes disruptive lamppost haranguers, and once you get one that cannot be dislodged you will get others, they breed like ticks.

 

[sr71plt]

I do not want to have a part of my life spit in my face as someone's cute plot device.

Understandable, but then you could (A) just not read the threads that don't meet your expectations/interests, or (B) find a discussion board that doesn't serve a story site.

It's an expansive site; no reason why it can't meet the needs/interests of others beyond yourself as well as yourself.