What does Love-based bdsm look like?

[TxRad]

I can just about understand that BDSM can be mutally arousing/sought. Love-based? No, I'm afraid I'd have trouble seeing that as a mentally healthy choice. (OK with me if you do, though.)

Looking at BDSM as one whole thing, yes, it could be hard to understand as loved based.

Break it in Half (BD) (SM) makes to a little easier. Narrow it down to M/s D/s as the original poster did and it shouldn't be hard. One side supports the other in a two way relationship. Although I think the OP has a weird understanding of what BDSM really is.

But that has nothing to do with a story, so why is this here in the feedback forum? I saw nothing asking for feedback on the story. So hack the story off and ship it back down the line.

 

[Etoile]

But that has nothing to do with a story, so why is this here in the feedback forum? I saw nothing asking for feedback on the story. So hack the story off and ship it back down the line.

There is a story in the original post, and he wants to talk about his story, so I moved it here. The "Story Discussion Circle" seems to be for a specific type of process, am I right?

If the OP wants to remove the story from the post (perhaps replacing it with a link to its location on the story side, or referring to the link in his signature), he can certainly request that it be moved back to the BDSM section.

As of right now, though, this is the best fit for talking about the story posted in the OP.

 

[driphoney]

The thread got lots more traffic when it was posted in the BDSM forum than it will probably ever generate here, and from those who understand the lifestyle.

Welcome to . . . The Dead Zone.

As you can see, it has more posts than most of the threads here have views.

 

[Etoile]

The thread got lots more traffic when it was posted in the BDSM forum than it will probably ever generate here, and from those who understand the lifestyle.

Welcome to . . . The Dead Zone.

The forum rules specify posting threads in the appropriate forum, not posting them where they will get the most attention.

 

[driphoney]

The forum rules specify posting threads in the appropriate forum, not posting them where they will get the most attention.

I'm sure, and it's not an attack on your need to follow the rules. It's just kind of sad to see an active thread banished to the Siberia of Literotica Land.

 

[Stella_Omega]

This dude is the most active troll of the BDSM forum. He's already posted a brand new thread with the same name there.

 

[Epmd607]

Looking at BDSM as one whole thing, yes, it could be hard to understand as loved based.

Break it in Half (BD) (SM) makes to a little easier. Narrow it down to M/s D/s as the original poster did and it shouldn't be hard. One side supports the other in a two way relationship. Although I think the OP has a weird understanding of what BDSM really is.

But that has nothing to do with a story, so why is this here in the feedback forum? I saw nothing asking for feedback on the story. So hack the story off and ship it back down the line.

I don't care, they can move it to the Story Discussion Circle then. Even less people occupy that board. This guy wants to talk about his story, it certainly doesn't belong in the BDSM talk page, since the story itself has next to no BDSM in it.

 

[sr71plt]

I don't care, they can move it to the Story Discussion Circle then. Even less people occupy that board. This guy wants to talk about his story, it certainly doesn't belong in the BDSM talk page, since the story itself has next to no BDSM in it.

God forbid we talk about our stories on the Lit. forum. The topic doesn't move me, but I don't see why a discussion on the content/motivation/theme of a story posted to Lit. should be kicked around the forum like it was an unwanted football with a leak in it.

Maybe if he added political content it would be welcome in the Lit. forum(?)

 

[Epmd607]

God forbid we talk about our stories on the Lit. forum. The topic doesn't move me, but I don't see why a discussion on the content/motivation/theme of a story posted to Lit. should be kicked around the forum like it was an unwanted football with a leak in it.

Maybe if he added political content it would be welcome in the Lit. forum(?)

It's right beneath Scouries' thread now. Makes perfect sense to me. They're both tards with agendas that have nothing to do with writing stories.

 

[BLoved]

There is a story in the original post, and he wants to talk about his story, so I moved it here. The "Story Discussion Circle" seems to be for a specific type of process, am I right?

If the OP wants to remove the story from the post (perhaps replacing it with a link to its location on the story side, or referring to the link in his signature), he can certainly request that it be moved back to the BDSM section.

As of right now, though, this is the best fit for talking about the story posted in the OP.

And do you think she would send me a PM telling me this, before she moved it?

This was the first I heard there was a problem.

I would have thought that if this was a problem a nice friendly mod would have sent me a PM asking me to change the text into links.

I have made the required changes and do hereby officially request that this discussion be moved back to BDSM Talk, and I will repeat this request through PM.

My apologies to everyone for the problem, and my thanks for your patience.

May your quills never wilt.

 

[Epmd607]

And do you think she would send me a PM telling me this, before she moved it?

This was the first I heard there was a problem.

I would have thought that if this was a problem a nice friendly mod would have sent me a PM asking me to change the text into links.

I have made the required changes and do hereby officially request that this discussion be moved back to BDSM Talk, and I will repeat this request through PM.

My apologies to everyone for the problem, and my thanks for your patience.

May your quills never wilt.

I veto your request. I hereby banish this nonsense thread to the Story Discussion Circle for all eternity. You were told over a week ago that you can't be posting your stories in the BDSM Talk Page. Why not write a story about BDSM and then come here and ask for Story Feedback?

 

[sr71plt]

It's right beneath Scouries' thread now. Makes perfect sense to me. They're both tards with agendas that have nothing to do with writing stories.

The topic is BDSM. Once again, god forbid one be permitted to discuss the topic/theme/content of a Lit. BDSM story in the BDSM forum. Did someone mistakenly think that this was a story site?

 

[Epmd607]

The topic is BDSM. Once again, god forbid one be permitted to discuss the topic/theme/content of a Lit. BDSM story in the BDSM forum. Did someone mistakenly think that this was a story site?

The thread title has BDSM in it, the story included has nothing to do with BDSM. That's my feedback, this is the story feedback.

 

[sr71plt]

The thread title has BDSM in it, the story included has nothing to do with BDSM. That's my feedback, this is the story feedback.

Well, if you're the end all on what BDSM is then, folks can just PM you for "the answer" to everything. Then there's no need for a BDSM talk forum here at all, right?

 

[CharleyH]

I wrote "Endings" for many reasons, one of which was to illustrate the nature of love-based bdsm.

Love-based bdsm is, in many ways, no different than any life-long loving relationships. We experience the same losses and must wrestle with the consequences when a beloved dies.

Too often people get the impression from reading on-line bdsm boards that those who practice bdsm really don't care about their partners, that bdsm is nothing more than a no-strings attached one-night stand with no emotional involvement worthy of mention.

However, for a lot of us who practice bdsm, I dare say most of us, bdsm is a means by which we express our love for each other in loving, life-long committed relationships.

In my experience it is rare that death itself is ever discussed, and when it is, it is more along the lines of "what am I going to do next".

With "Endings" I wanted to address the loss itself, the emotional impact it has on the survivor.

I wanted to bring home to the reader that those of us who practice bdsm within a loving, committed relationship feel the loss just as keenly as anyone else.

We are no less human than anyone else.

I completely understand. I wrote a story, a few years ago, about a femdom with emotional conflicts in regards to her position as a professional Dominatrix and true desires in her own sexual relationship combined with a conflict of her dying mother. It was welcomed by those interested in a dominant perspective, but blasted by those who thought a femdom should be this or that stereotype and by others who thought BDSM should contain this or that sort of sex.

I haven't read more than a chapter of your story, and I'm not going to. It's not that it's not a good story, but rather because I think that you have raised a more interesting topic and, as you state, your story is simply an illustration. Personally, I like the concept of the story (it's not unlike the one I wrote and continue to write) about a dominant character trying to save his/her sub or self, and facing a situation that he/she wants to control, but cannot. Love it. Simply love it. Not being able to control illness or death is a universal anxiety, but when combined with a BDSM relationship? Oh, the ideas!

Try not to get bogged down by other people's dogmatic concepts of BDSM. Just write your story as realistic (with leeway's and enhancements, of course) as possible to your own experience.

Cheers and good luck!

 

[BLoved]

I completely understand. I wrote a story, a few years ago, about a femdom with emotional conflicts in regards to her position as a professional Dominatrix and true desires in her own sexual relationship combined with a conflict of her dying mother. It was welcomed by those interested in a dominant perspective, but blasted by those who thought a femdom should be this or that stereotype and by others who thought BDSM should contain this or that sort of sex.

I haven't read more than a chapter of your story, and I'm not going to. It's not that it's not a good story, but rather because I think that you have raised a more interesting topic and, as you state, your story is simply an illustration. Personally, I like the concept of the story (it's not unlike the one I wrote and continue to write) about a dominant character trying to save his/her sub or self, and facing a situation that he/she wants to control, but cannot. Love it. Simply love it. Not being able to control illness or death is a universal anxiety, but when combined with a BDSM relationship? Oh, the ideas!

Try not to get bogged down by other people's dogmatic concepts of BDSM. Just write your story as realistic (with leeway's and enhancements, of course) as possible to your own experience.

Cheers and good luck!

Thank you, Charley

 

[Epmd607]

Well, if you're the end all on what BDSM is then, folks can just PM you for "the answer" to everything. Then there's no need for a BDSM talk forum here at all, right?

Thanks for chiming in, Grandfather, go back to Scouries' thread. He's still listening to your words of wisdom... What's it been, three years now? Three years of SR71Plt teaching that mean ol' Scouries the truths of this electronic world. Who argues with an idiot for three years?

 

[sr71plt]

Thanks for chiming in, Grandfather, go back to Scouries' thread. He's still listening to your words of wisdom... What's it been, three years now? Three years of SR71Plt teaching that mean ol' Scouries the truths of this electronic world. Who argues with an idiot for three years?

Naw, I didn't think you had a sustainable argument on this thread either.

 

[Epmd607]

Naw, I didn't think you had a sustainable argument on this thread either.

Yeah, I'm shooting for the stars here, writing my thesis on what is an what isn't BDSM. However, this is the Story Feedback Forum, and there's nothing that says an Author has to ask for feedback.

Feedback: This story has nothing to do with BDSM.

The thread starter's intention is a discussion with his Literotica story in mind. So why not move it to the doldrums of Story Discussion Circle?

 

[BLoved]

Yeah, I'm shooting for the stars here, writing my thesis on what is an what isn't BDSM. However, this is the Story Feedback Forum, and there's nothing that says an Author has to ask for feedback.

Feedback: This story has nothing to do with BDSM.

From "Love, Part 01":

"It's okay." she whispered. "Everything is going to be okay."

He nodded again.

"Remember your promise." he whispered to her.

She smiled, despite her fear.

"I'll remember, master."

They were both silent, holding each other, looking upon their son as he played with his blocks.

They both recalled a time very early in their life together.

They'd been talking about the life they wished to live.

"Do you have any rules?" she'd asked.

"Yes ... one." he replied, a twinkle in his eye.

"And that would be ...?"

"No dying."

She laughed at this unexpected response.

"That sounds reasonable," she giggled. "I promise not to die."

He smiled, his blue eyes upon her that made her melt.

"I'll hold you to that promise." he'd said.

And like an echo of their shared memory, he found himself saying those words again ...

"I'll hold you to that promise."

She smiled up at him and felt such love, seeing his face etched with worry for her.

---

From Love, Part 02, Chapter 12:

"A 'master'? What is that?"

"A master is a dominator full-time, whereas a dominator only serves in that capacity part-time."

" '... serves in that capacity ...'?"

"Yes. A master serves the needs of a slave just as a slave serves the needs of her master. It is a symbiotic relationship: each fulfilling the needs of the other."

"I thought a dominate ... sorry, a dominator never serves another. Only himself."

"Too often that is true. But that way of life is unhealthy for all concerned, especially the submissive."

"Why?"

"Because in any negotiated relationship, both parties must keep an eye out for their own interests, to ensure the other is keeping up his or her end of the bargain. Otherwise there is a risk of either or both taking advantage of the other.

"If they trusted each other, there would be no need for negotiations. Each would love the other enough to meet their needs willingly, without bartering.

"That is the true nature of a master/slave relationship: they love each other enough to meet the needs of their lover."

"And what are those needs?"

"The same needs as all people have: to love and be loved, to grow and help others to grow, to share the good times and the bad."

"I thought their needs were, well, to be tortured and used ... "

"And abused, no doubt. It is a common misconception of the master/slave dynamic.

"A slave has a need to express her love in ways that banish doubt. She wishes to give all of herself to her love, not just words but deeds as well."

"And a master?"

"His need is to care for his slave. To protect her from those who would abuse her. To meet her needs for love and respect, and to give her a suitably challenging life that she feels there can be no doubt about her love and devotion to her master.

"She needs to feel herself giving love, not just talking about it and not just doing the little things everyone does. She needs to show her love in a more obvious fashion, by doing things for him that no one else would do. By doing the things only someone truly in love would do for him.

"Such is the essence of her love."

---

From "Love, Part 03", Chapter 1:

This isn't like ice cubes" her mind told her as the tips of her dainty toes tried to keep her from sinking further into the two foot snow drift.

Her slim wrists cuffed together snugly and roped to the branch of a cedar, above her.

She stood perfectly erect, her back arched and her breasts heaving gently as she exhaled, her breath turning to a fine vapour in the sub-zero temperatures of the forest.

With every breath the tips of her nipples slid across the pink silk camisole that was her only protection from the wind.

She had never known how much the sensation of silk could make her ache to be touched, but her nipples responded, protruding and hardening like rivets.

Her master had not said a word. Not since he snapped the leash to her collar and said, softly, "come".

Her eyes flashed to his, wide and questioning, and then looked down in complete faith and surrender.

She'd been led to this place, to this tree. Bound in this way, her feet, freezing.

She could only look into his eyes. She could only trust him.

 

[sr71plt]

Yeah, I'm shooting for the stars here, writing my thesis on what is an what isn't BDSM. However, this is the Story Feedback Forum, and there's nothing that says an Author has to ask for feedback.

Feedback: This story has nothing to do with BDSM.

The thread starter's intention is a discussion with his Literotica story in mind. So why not move it to the doldrums of Story Discussion Circle?

Because the OP apprently thinks the topic of his discussion--playing off his story--is BDSM, and he chose to discuss his concepts of BDSM in the BDSM forum. (What a dumb idea, right?)

Again, god forbid we discuss on the basis of our stories on a story forum.

 

[driphoney]

I'm sure, and it's not an attack on your need to follow the rules. It's just kind of sad to see an active thread banished to the Siberia of Literotica Land.

Given the activity going on here, I take this back.

 

[sr71plt]

Given the activity going on here, I take this back.

Well, yes, we could go back to the rules. What forum rule(s) did the OP violate by posting to the BDSM forum? The only forum rule I see violated is the "we will not censor posts" one. And that was violated by someone other than the OP.

Again, I'm not wild about the topic. But who are all these little tin-horn gods floating around here trying to cut off discussion of stories on the forum of a story site?

 

[Etoile]

What forum rule(s) did the OP violate by posting to the BDSM forum?

Number 11.

Now that the thread doesn't contain a story, I have told him that he is more than welcome to ask The Conformist to move it back.

 

[sr71plt]

Number 11.

Now that the thread doesn't contain a story, I have told him that he is more than welcome to ask The Conformist to move it back.

Nope. It was a BDSM issue posted to the BDSM board. (The OP posed it as BDSM; if you think you are the arbiter of what is and isn't BDSM, then, again, there's no need for a BDSM forum at all--everyone can just PM you for "the answer.") You were overstepping your bounds as a moderator with personal dictatorial whimsy. You yourself violated the "anything goes" rule at the bottom of the forum rules.

Apparently you don't see the irony of bouncing discussions of Lit. stories from the Lit. site forum.