It's in the delivery

[the captians wench]

I was pondering yesterday the different ways I have had an order delivered to me. Mostly the variations came with each man, but there have been one or two men who used different deliveries for different moods.

I also reflected on the ways I reacted to each delivery.

I'll only go into a couple here as I want to stimulate other responces.

The first one that comes to mind is the style of a friend who was also my first playmate. He liked to use fear to control his bottom. His commands came out something like a thief in the night trying to steal your pocketbook. He was harsh and his voice reflected that. I didn't respond well to this, I didn't fear him. For the most part I tried to keep from laughing durring these sessions, his attempt at intimidation was humerous to me.

That lead my mind to ponder on one of the last playmates I had, the one who left me with a few deep scars. His style of delivery was the same for me as it was for his dog. He saw me as a thing, and had about as much respect for me as a child's long forgotten toy. His orders were sharp, like he was anoyed he even had to speak to me. I didn't respond to this well either.

There are a few more that come to mind, but like I said I don't want to list all of them right away, so I open up the floor.

 

[ecstaticsub]

The majority of orders I get anymore are not really voiced as orders. Which in some ways can be confusing. It's delivered with the same tone of voice as everyday conversation so I sometimes take it as if it were an option, not an order. I need to learn to pay closer attention.

On things he feels strongly about it and I hesitate he will get firm and either say "You can, and you will" or some derivation of that.

When we are together and it is something sexual or he wants to beat me than his demands are very clear, crisp and to the point. There is then no hesitation on my part for even a second.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

I'm a sucker for a good coaxing 'come on babygirl, you can do it, for me.'

The 'for me' gets me every time, it presses my need-to-please button so hard.

Other than that, we're very in tune now, it doesn't take much more than a look, and a guiding hand for him to get what he wants.

 

[the captians wench]

Jounar has two forms of delivery. One of which is very simular to a Brit I've shared some time with.

The one they share is one that drills deeply into me some how, it's also the one Jounar used most often when we were together. It's a nonchilaunce, not so much a demand but the same kind of tone one might use to ask for a glass of water. "Go fetch the big paddle," spoken almost in a monitone while not even looking at me nessisarily, or at the very least not even pausing what activity he was engaged in before the statement. I don't know why this makes me melt, but it does, right down to the core.

The other form Jounar likes to use puts things in my hands, or so it seems. It's kind of the same way a police officer might say, "would you like to step out of the car, please?" Sounds like a question, sounds like you have an option, but you know it's not. I almost (and some times deffinately) have to volentere to do what ever he has asked of me. This too burrows deep inside of me. But this one makes more sense to me, it's a need to please, and be pleasing.

 

[Cattypuss]

Just doing my bit for the bump-fest

Pity it's not a bump-n-grind fest

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Just doing my bit for the bump-fest

Pity it's not a bump-n-grind fest

Depends how you deliver it Cattypuss. *wiggles my eyebrows*

I did enjoy this thread, and wished it had have gone a bit further.

I wish we could do voice posts. I want to hear Mr Rosco say something like 'on your knees and get your mouth on my cock'

 

[Cattypuss]

Depends how you deliver it Cattypuss. *wiggles my eyebrows*

I did enjoy this thread, and wished it had have gone a bit further.

I wish we could do voice posts. I want to hear Mr Rosco say something like 'on your knees and get your mouth on my cock'

Now why did I read that as "get your mouth in my cock"?

Ouch.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Now why did I read that as "get your mouth in my cock"?

Ouch.

Urethral sounding with your tongue?

 

[Cattypuss]

and teeth, presumably

 

[seela]

I get a major urge to dig my heels in if someone starts yelling at me. My relationship has always been a polite one on both sides, we say please and thank you and that extends to our sex life as well. If he wants me to do something he will ask politely and more often than not I will obey. He's very matter of fact with me, strict yet polite and certainly doesn't raise his voice.

I find his calm manner to be more intimidating actually than the yelling, shouting and bossing around that many people associate with dominating. The contrast between his very matter of fact tone and behavior and what he asks me to do is what works for me every time.

If I hesitate, then it usually goes to gentle coaxing and telling how much he wants me to do it.

 

[Kikori]

It's the quiet ones that get you, seela.

Though I'm curious what about a calm manner winds up being "intimidating". I can only think of, off the top of my head, the thoughts that it makes him appear calculating enough that you know he'll have an answer for not doing the job, or that risking destroying the calm demeanor in place of whatever would follow isn't an option.

 

[seela]

It's the quiet ones that get you, seela.

Though I'm curious what about a calm manner winds up being "intimidating". I can only think of, off the top of my head, the thoughts that it makes him appear calculating enough that you know he'll have an answer for not doing the job, or that risking destroying the calm demeanor in place of whatever would follow isn't an option.

His calmness makes him seem so sure of himself and his position. The thing that gets me about it isn't a fear of repercussions, but rather that he is so sure of his dominance over me that it really leaves me no other option but to obey. I must say I really like it that way. It also makes me feel intimidated time to time.

Calculating is another good word for certain situations.

 

[satindesire]

Though I'm curious what about a calm manner winds up being "intimidating". I can only think of, off the top of my head, the thoughts that it makes him appear calculating enough that you know he'll have an answer for not doing the job, or that risking destroying the calm demeanor in place of whatever would follow isn't an option.

Well, that's a good point.

I think that truly confident men don't need to assert dominance by being domineering, you know what I mean? Confidence and Dominance is like charisma, something that someone has or doesn't have, a natural instead of forced thing that makes people WANT to do things for him.

Alpha males often don't even see it, because they've been alpha males their entire lives and are so used to people following his orders, that it becomes something normal to him.

That is why it's so intimidating, to me. A dominant man whose dominance is so ingrained into his personality that it's no longer a question of "will you", it's "you will".

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

It's the quiet ones that get you, seela.

Though I'm curious what about a calm manner winds up being "intimidating". I can only think of, off the top of my head, the thoughts that it makes him appear calculating enough that you know he'll have an answer for not doing the job, or that risking destroying the calm demeanor in place of whatever would follow isn't an option.

I think it's the control thing. I get all giggly and jokey and silly at inappropriate moments sometimes, and he does not. He tends to be in a bit more control of himself, and me. It makes it feel like he's bigger, and I'm smaller, less significant. That's a bit intimidating, but I like it like that.

 

[satindesire]

I think it's the control thing. I get all giggly and jokey and silly at inappropriate moments sometimes, and he does not. He tends to be in a bit more control of himself, and me. It makes it feel like he's bigger, and I'm smaller, less significant. That's a bit intimidating, but I like it like that.

It's nice to meet a guy who really knows when to control his sense of humor, eh?

 

[Netzach]

T does this thing - it's quiet and seductive and just a *little* smarmy - it's never a command. I can always refuse. The hint of smarmy is the fact that he knows the answer is yes. There's a bitchy feminine quality to it that fucks my poor head - without making it a big issue my complete lack of backbone in relation to him is being spit in my face in a delicious low-level humiliation.

I respond very well to that.

I have a lot of "voices" and I find that I tailor mine to the submissive or I try out something when the mood stikes. I can't say "I never yell" because once in a while I get a bug up my ass to be a drill sergeant. I can't say I'm always stern because sometimes I tease and laugh.

 

[ImOnIt]

Sweetheart, I want you to...
It would please me if...
I would appreciate...


Don't.
Wait.
Stop.

I just did a mental checklist, and my requests are somewhere between questions and instructions. If I want something done, I would ask. If I want something stopped quickly, then I guess a short/curt-ish instruction. But of course, it is in the delivery/relationship.

I guess that plus the fact im not lazy/demanding. If I became either, then well... thats different.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

It's nice to meet a guy who really knows when to control his sense of humor, eh?

Yes, especially when that's my natural defensive move against the big serious talks and emotional things.

 

[the captians wench]

His calmness makes him seem so sure of himself and his position. The thing that gets me about it isn't a fear of repercussions, but rather that he is so sure of his dominance over me that it really leaves me no other option but to obey. I must say I really like it that way. It also makes me feel intimidated time to time.

Calculating is another good word for certain situations.

I can totally get this.

I get bashful very easily. I still blush when I go buy tampons for instance. All of the PYLs I have had utilized this. It's really weird because I have this strange almost need to tell these men things that I don't talk about with anyone but I also get so shy about it that I litterally can't speak.

The PYL that was really on my mind when I started this thread, he would aproach these situations in a very ....well he started out very calm. He'd very politely ask me what I was thinking, or what ever question it was. He'd give me time to blush and I think he was judging just how deep into my core of modesty (don't laugh I do have some!) he was tapping into. When my eyes finally met his again, he'd raise one eyebrow and calmly ask, "hmm?" If I blushed and hid my face again, he'd take one of two aproaches. 1, he might give me another minute, then slowly coax me by reminding me that I'm not permitted privacy when with him including inside my head. His voice would remain honey smooth and calm, always sure he would get out of me what he wants. 2, he would take a harsher tone, he'd speak my name with the same athority as a parent to a child. And that would be it.

All of my PYLs have oozed a certain confidence. This particular one also oozed class which still is irrisitable to me. *purrs*

Well, that's a good point.

I think that truly confident men don't need to assert dominance by being domineering, you know what I mean? Confidence and Dominance is like charisma, something that someone has or doesn't have, a natural instead of forced thing that makes people WANT to do things for him.

Alpha males often don't even see it, because they've been alpha males their entire lives and are so used to people following his orders, that it becomes something normal to him.

That is why it's so intimidating, to me. A dominant man whose dominance is so ingrained into his personality that it's no longer a question of "will you", it's "you will".

I think it's the control thing. I get all giggly and jokey and silly at inappropriate moments sometimes, and he does not. He tends to be in a bit more control of himself, and me. It makes it feel like he's bigger, and I'm smaller, less significant. That's a bit intimidating, but I like it like that.

I can relate to both of these as well. I'm usually so bubbly and giggly and even impish that having that athority over me makes me feel safe. I know he's going to hurt me, I know he's going to dive into my deepest darkest parts, the parts of me that I've kept hidden from even myself, I know I'm going to be exposed and volnerable, but I also know I'm perfectly safe with him.

And that ease, that feeling comes from his confidence that he will get what he wants out of me more than anything else I think.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

It's really weird because I have this strange almost need to tell these men things that I don't talk about with anyone but I also get so shy about it that I litterally can't speak.

Oh I know how this is. It's why I can't ever plan anything good as a surprise for him, because I tell him. And all my other secrets just come tumbling out as well.

I can relate to both of these as well. I'm usually so bubbly and giggly and even impish that having that athority over me makes me feel safe. I know he's going to hurt me, I know he's going to dive into my deepest darkest parts, the parts of me that I've kept hidden from even myself, I know I'm going to be exposed and volnerable, but I also know I'm perfectly safe with him.

And that ease, that feeling comes from his confidence that he will get what he wants out of me more than anything else I think.

Confidence = Safety.

He's confident, I trust him, I feel safe.

 

[seela]

Not being able to keep secrets must be some subbie thing. He doesn't even have to ask me, because I have a tendency of spilling out my intimate thoughts on my own. If he asks about something private I always find it hard to answer and, but when I babble away about something else without him asking anything, I have no problem telling him the same thing that would make me blush like a beet root should he ask.

And yes, confident = safe = good. At least for the most part.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Not being able to keep secrets must be some subbie thing. He doesn't even have to ask me, because I have a tendency of spilling out my intimate thoughts on my own. If he asks about something private I always find it hard to answer and, but when I babble away about something else without him asking anything, I have no problem telling him the same thing that would make me blush like a beet root should he ask.

And yes, confident = safe = good. At least for the most part.

lol, I know! I do the same! Put on the spot, I clam up, but when I feel like telling, you can't shut me up.

Even when I'm feeling unsafe in the higher parts of my brain, I know deep down, that I'm safe. I trust him.

 

[satindesire]

I can't hand over control to a man who's out of control. A good Dom must practice a good sense of self control, in my opinion (obviously they're human and flawed, yadda yadda) good self control makes for a Dom that I feel I can trust much more.

Trust for me is absolutely 100% necessary in order to have a relationship. And I can't have sex with someone I don't trust.

 

[ownedsubgal]

when giving me a command of any type, Daddy's delivery is very straight-forward, calm and direct. "bring me a glass of water," "get my shoes," "ass up," etc. He never asks, and he never cajoles. i would find either approach very confusing and unsettling. He never has to shout a command either...as i never hesitate to do what i'm told. but he will absolutely shout for other reasons (bad day, irritated, generally pissy mood, etc.).

 

[FungiUg]

I do my best to be all whiney and sound like a three year old. A couple of days ago I got accused of topping from the top.

Actually, I don't use a James Earl Jones voice or anything. Maybe my voice changes, I don't know. I shall have to ask and get back to you on this one.