the 'ethics of casual bdsm' message

[FloggingMolly]

I know I started yet another poll, however, I'm really curious to see the answers you give. It's fully anonymous btw, but anyone wishing to elaborate can do so.

 

[where]

I don't like anonymous polls, especially when they are aimed at an individual. I voted 'agree with some, but his delivery sucks.'

 

[FloggingMolly]

Usually, I wouldn't make it anonymous. What I'm aiming for is that everyone feels that there is no 'comeback'. I don't want people to feel they have to vote 'I disagree' because they'll be picked on by others, or forced into the spotlight to defend it.

It has always been said that the lurking reader should make up their own mind. This allows said reader to add their opinion without feeling influenced/intimidated either way.

 

[JMohegan]

Molly - what is the message, as you read it?

 

[FloggingMolly]

I'm not sure that it's revelant how I interpret it, is it?

I'd love to see a well-written, concise, bullet-pointed valid interpretation, but I don't think I'm the gal for the job.

 

[where]

Usually, I wouldn't make it anonymous. What I'm aiming for is that everyone feels that there is no 'comeback'. I don't want people to feel they have to vote 'I disagree' because they'll be picked on by others, or forced into the spotlight to defend it.

It has always been said that the lurking reader should make up their own mind. This allows said reader to add their opinion without feeling influenced/intimidated either way.

well according to him if you disagree with what he says you are the majority and have nothing to fear, it's only if you agree with him that you may end up 'persecuted' (mental snapback to the jill on the st andrews cross).

I'm comfortable agreeing with some of his points. I doubt very much that I'll get poked with pitchforks for doing so. Hell, I'm a bit of a square peg here anyway, so very little of what I say of think is in line with most people on the here and I've never ever felt persecuted.

 

[FloggingMolly]

I'm still quite new here, and I know how daunting it can be voicing any opinion, either in agreement or disagreement. There are many topics I would have weighed in on on an anonymous post, but not if I had to actually reply properly. I don't want people to feel they can't have a say.

I'm glad you don't feel like that hon

 

[where]

well I am also spectacularly thick skinned (comes from hanging on the GB ) and the fact that I'm only kinda half in and half out of bdsm and have zero interest in any kind of scene (not that there is one where I live anyway!) or formal etiquette also helps

 

[Kikori]

I agree with some of what he's saying, but he delivered it terribly.

Quite simply, he's a troll preaching a good message. Love people, don't deceive.
Derp. Common sense; relationships are about loving others.

It's nearly everything else he spews that turns into cultist crap.

 

[JMohegan]

I'm not sure that it's revelant how I interpret it, is it?

I'd love to see a well-written, concise, bullet-pointed valid interpretation, but I don't think I'm the gal for the job.

It's your thread. If you don't think it's relevant, then it's not.

 

[Netzach]

I didn't poll, but for the record - small bits of usefulness poorly delivered. Minute. Somewhere between "some" and "none."
The only thing I can possibly find of value in it is the suggestion that people take their time and size up situations before jumping in, and that's not universal or mandatory, or part of his advice he took.

 

[Daddy2mylilgirl]

I actually voted, "I agree with -most- of what he's saying, but it's delievered poorly (attitude/accusations)" which is what I told him a couple of different times.

he obviously didn't care.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Haven't really engaged him in any sort of conversation but I have went back and read some of his Ethics thread. I understand and even agree with some of what he is saying but his delivery sucks. (There, you have my vote)

 

[Claire73]

I voted other.


It doesn't matter how I feel about his behaviour or how I feel about his opinions.




Btw, making a poll about someones behavior? really? hmmm...

 

[WriterDom]

To me, it's almost like if I went to the GLBT forum and said my way of gayness was the only right way and all the other "casual" gays will hate me for it. Then in my opening post I said, "God hates casual gays." It probably wouldn't be well received. And then I'd quote every insult I got to prove that casual gays hate me. One big circular clusterfuck of nonsense.

And no, I'm not gay, I just didn't have a better example. Other than casual poets.


I'm pretty much done with Bloved. I'm not even going to pick on his personal ad. If he finds happiness, more power to him.

 

[Stella_Omega]

To me, it's almost like if I went to the GLBT forum and said my way of gayness was the only right way and all the other "casual" gays will hate me for it. Then in my opening post I said, "God hates casual gays." It probably wouldn't be well received. And then I'd quote every insult I got to prove that casual gays hate me. One big circular clusterfuck of nonsense.

And no, I'm not gay, I just didn't have a better example. Other than casual poets.


I'm pretty much done with Bloved. I'm not even going to pick on his personal ad. If he finds happiness, more power to him.

But don't you want to protect the unsuspecting submissive that he victimises?

You have to understand, it's a sacred calling!

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

But don't you want to protect the unsuspecting submissive that he victimises?

You have to understand, it's a sacred calling!

*snorts laughter*

 

[infinity706]

There's some truth to his message, but that doesn't really make his rebuttals show him to be any less of a jackass. I'm not sure whether he's a troll or just sucks horribly at debating.

 

[Stella_Omega]

There's some truth to his message, but that doesn't really make his rebuttals show him to be any less of a jackass. I'm not sure whether he's a troll or just sucks horribly at debating.

he's a troll. He isn't claiming "some truth" he's claiming ALL the truth.

 

[intothewoods]

I didn't poll, but for the record - small bits of usefulness poorly delivered. Minute. Somewhere between "some" and "none."
The only thing I can possibly find of value in it is the suggestion that people take their time and size up situations before jumping in, and that's not universal or mandatory, or part of his advice he took.

I think the question of whether casual sex or bdsm activities is emotionally satisfying is an interesting one, and an individual one too (which is why his thread prevents me from getting to the heart of it). I think if every night is filled with casual encounters, that's unhealthy, but the percentage of folks who do that is probably low. Anyway, I have fantasized about having a pure service relationship with someone who I'm kind of detached from. Would it be healthy and satisfying? Maybe, maybe not. It would take away from my primary relationship, for sure. Whatever. All things that there is no room for in the train wreck.

 

[chy_girl]

What absolutely drives the logical, Virgo part of me insane is that it could have been an awesome conversation topic with a huge potential introspection and re-evaluating personal perspectives.

That's simply not ever going to happen with him participating though.

 

[Netzach]

Anyway, I have fantasized about having a pure service relationship with someone who I'm kind of detached from. Would it be healthy and satisfying? Maybe, maybe not. It would take away from my primary relationship, for sure. Whatever. All things that there is no room for in the train wreck.

This may be apropos at some point for you. YMMV is kind of the law on these things, isn't it?

I think that's what's so offensive to people.

 

[intothewoods]

For whatever it's worth, I think all of the you should die, fuck you, I pretended to be your sub blah blah blah stuff is just as annoying to wade through as anything else. But to be fair, it's only a more amplified version of the normal shit that goes on around here. I'm used to ignoring it.

 

[Netzach]

For whatever it's worth, I think all of the you should die, fuck you, I pretended to be your sub blah blah blah stuff is just as annoying to wade through as anything else. But to be fair, it's only a more amplified version of the normal shit that goes on around here. I'm used to ignoring it.

It's fairly r-tarded, but it's also been easier to skim. Considering that this is how most GB threads start out, I still think it's above par.

 

[chy_girl]

This may be apropos at some point for you. YMMV is kind of the law on these things, isn't it?

I think that's what's so offensive to people.

What's YMMV?